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Finn knew something was up when Poe called him at the ass-crack of dawn.
“Good morning?” he said, hoping to sound as tired as possible.
On the other end, Poe was breathing heavily. “Hey, um, morning,” he said, sounding rather tense. “Listen, I gotta ask you a favor—”
“It’s six-thirty in the morning—”
“I’m in a situation here, bud—”
“Six in the—”
“It’s kind of an emergency, ok?”
Finn paused. “What do you mean?”
“D’you want the explanation now or later?” asked Poe.
“What do you need from me, Poe?” asked Finn, a bit irritable.
“I—” Poe sighed, before rushing his next phrase. “I need you to be my boyfriend for next week’s Seder.”
For a while, Finn couldn’t trust himself to speak.
“What?” he hissed as soon as his throat opened up.
“Long story,” said Poe. “Basically, my grandma can’t stop grilling me about my life—Jewish grandmothers, I’m telling ya—and she was all, ‘oh, Poe cariño, how are you, is there someone special in your life?’ and I was like ‘ok, fine, I have a boyfriend’ just to shut her up.”
“But you’re single…” said Finn slowly. “…oh.”
“Yeah.”
“But—”
“Finn, this is my grandmother,” he said sharply. Finn could almost hear his friend’s gesticulations over the phone. “You can’t just lie to Nonna Dameron.”
“So, instead of coming clean, you’re gonna keep it up,” said Finn, mouth beginning to feel dry. It wasn’t that he wasn’t willing to help his friend, but this was still a risky endeavor—and his slight crush on the other guy may have not been ideal.
“Please,” said Poe.
Finn closed his eyes. “Alright.”
“Seriously?”
“Yes,” said Finn, mostly to reassure himself, “I’ll do it.”
“Oh man.” Poe chuckled. “Thank you so much, buddy.”
“Can I go back to sleep now?”
“Yeah, sorry about that,” said Poe. “Just—be ready by four on Thursday, ok?”
True to his word, there was a knock at Finn’s apartment door Thursday afternoon just as soon as he was finishing getting ready.
“Shit.” Straightening his Kippah one last time, Finn answered the door. “Wasn’t expecting you to actually be on time…”
His voice died out as soon as he got a proper look at Poe. Frankly, he’d always found vests to only look decent on Bar Mitzvahs and old men, but Poe actually looked like he was built for one. It hugged his chest just right, and the black contrasted nicely against his (slightly tight) white shirt and light blue Kippah, and did he actually shave his stubble? It sure looked nice—
Poe cleared his throat. “You ready, buddy?”
“Oh, yeah,” said Finn, feeling his mouth go dry. Oh God, he actually had to pretend to be in a relationship with this guy. This was happening. “Lemme just, um, grab something real quick.”
In a few moments, he was out of the kitchen with a large glass dish in his hand. “Ok, let’s go.”
“What’s that?” asked Poe, eyeing the tray suspiciously.
“Lemon rosemary chicken,” he said shyly. “Kinda wanna win over your family if we’re, you know, apparently dating.”
Poe whistled. “Yeah, they’re gonna love you.” He beckoned to the hall. “Well, let’s go?”
“Let’s,” said Finn, as they made their way outside. “Quick question, um, how many people are gonna be there?”
“Not a lot,” said Poe as they made their way downstairs. “There’s my dad and I, then there’s my uncle and aunt and their kid, and then Nonna, so it’s gonna be kinda cozy.”
“Thank God.”
Neither of them said much on their way to Nonna Dameron’s house. Frankly, Finn couldn’t trust himself to say anything appropriate to the situation, not when his heart was still racing with the thought of cozying up to his totally-not-crush for the evening. At least it’s only for tonight, he thought, tightly gripping the dish in his lap. Imagine how shitty it would be if you had to keep this up for longer.
“We’re here,” said Poe, pulling up to a charming little white house. “Ok, so you already know my dad, Uncle Aryeh and Aunt Mira are chill, Bea’s actually pretty ok for an eight-year-old, and Nonna—well, she’s Nonna.”
“Thank you for your specifics,” said Finn.
“Just be yourself, I’m sure they’ll love you,” he said, eyes crinkling with his smile. “And don’t worry, you look fine.”
“You too—well, your Kippah’s a bit crooked.” Finn automatically leaned forward to adjust it, trying not to look too flustered at their proximity. “Lemme just fix that for ya.”
Poe didn’t say anything as Finn fixed the clips in his hair—and God, it was just as soft as he’d imagined it to be. Shit.
“Um,” he said, leaning back, “it, uh, looks good now.”
“Thanks,” said Poe softly. He cleared his throat. “Well, uh, let’s get going, right?”
“Right,” said Finn, opening the door and carefully stepping out. He was kind of grateful for the chicken, to be honest—not having something to occupy his hands with might mean Poe would have to hold his hand, and frankly, he was not ready for that.
Poe opened the door.
“Whoa, whoa, hold up—”
“It’s fine, she’s my grandma,” said Poe as they walked in, as Finn continued to frown. “Babe,” he added in a sweeter tone.
Finn’s gaze softened.
“She won’t mind, I promise.” In a louder voice, he called out, “We’re here, Nonna!”
“Poe!” Immediately, an old woman came walking up to them with a smile. She looked to be maybe in her eighties, with short, silver hair and warm eyes that weren’t too different from Poe’s. “Hello, cariño, it’s so good to see you!”
Poe hugged her. Finn noticed that Poe’s grandma seemed to favor long, drawn-out hugs with lots of swaying.
Nonna Dameron eventually released her grandson, giving him a kiss on the cheek. “And who is this handsome gentleman with you?”
“Oh.” Poe gestured to Finn. “Nonna, this is my boyfriend, Finn.”
Finn smiled, feeling his heart race at hearing Poe call him his boyfriend—even if it was just pretend.
“Finn, this is my grandma Felicia.”
“Pleasure,” said Finn.
“And a pleasure to meet you,” she said, kissing his cheek. “Here, let me take that for you.” Before he could protest, Felicia had already taken the dish of chicken out of his hands, making her way to the kitchen.
“That’s just how she is,” said Poe, immediately making Finn regret giving up the dish, as he gently laced their fingers together. He gave Finn a weak smile. “You cool?”
“I’m cool,” lied Finn, smiling as they made their way to the dining room. “Can’t wait to meet your family.”
The Dameron family, as it turned out, was just as “chill” as Poe had promised. Kes was happy to see Finn again (if not a bit surprised at the sudden relationship change), and Aryeh was just as mellow and friendly as his older brother. His wife was a redhead, and more outgoing than her husband, constantly making small talk with the two. And finally, little Bea took after her mother in excitement, running circles around her cousin as she chattered about seemingly everything.
As for the Seder itself, Finn was pleasantly surprised with how this family treated Passover. Every chair was propped up with several pillows (“In my house we all sit mesubin or we don’t sit at all,” declared Felicia), and not only did the table have a wine glass for Elijah, but a water goblet for Miriam (“I suggested it,” said Mira proudly, “it’s good to remember our lady prophets, too”). There were several illuminated Haggadot stacked next to the table, in case anyone left theirs at home (which, thankfully, Finn did not), and beautiful silver goblets for the wine.
And decorative napkins with Matzah designs.
“Your family,” said Finn, “really thinks of everything.” Poe just chuckled.
Once Seder began, Finn was enchanted by Felicia’s reading of the Haggadah. While she spoke English in a cheerful, albeit accented voice, her tone in Hebrew was almost completely different. It flowed from her mouth like music, melodious and clear. She didn’t seem to read the blessings as much as sing them. Silently, Finn wondered if she had been a Rabbi in her youth.
However, the family ran into a slight roadblock when it came to the Four Questions. “I do it every year,” said Bea sourly, looking down at her plate. “Do I have to this time?”
“You don’t have to, m’hija,” said her father soothingly, as her mom insisted that, “Well, you are the youngest here.”
“I can do it,” said Finn suddenly. Everyone looked up. “I mean,” he continued sheepishly, “I am the second youngest person, and if Bea’s not comfy doing it by herself…”
“If you insist,” said Felicia—and oh, it was a bit of a shock to hear her suddenly speak in English after minutes of Hebrew.
Bea grinned. “You have to stand up, though!”
“I don’t think these chairs were built for grown-ups,” said Finn, chuckling. “Ok—”
Even though he hadn’t read the Four Questions in a while, they came naturally to him—the song wasn’t one you forgot easily.
“Ma nishtana ha’laila haze mi’kol ha’leilot?”
Thankfully, Bea got over herself and joined in as they mused about how This Night Was Different From All The Others.
And sure, Finn knew the true answers were that tonight, they ate Matzah and Maror, dipped two things in water, and sat relaxed, but he still couldn’t help feeling that the true difference was in how open he and Poe were being with each other. For as he sang (and everyone joined in on the choruses), Finn could feel the other man gazing fondly at him—and even though he knew it wasn’t real, shit, it felt real enough to make him blush.
At the end of the questions, Poe quickly brushed a kiss against his cheek. “Great job, dear.”
Shit.
The reading of the Haggadah continued. When it came Poe’s turn to read, Finn was enraptured by Poe’s voice; it was just as soft and sturdy as his normal speaking voice, wrapping itself perfectly around the text. His friend looked so focused while reading, with his brows furrowed and his eyes focused on the Haggadah in front of him. Every so often, he would bat back a stray curl that fell into his face.
He was somehow even more gorgeous than usual. And frankly, Finn’s heart ached.
The rest of the reading continued without hiccups—save for a mild disagreement over the singing of Dayenu (Poe’s family insisted on singing the chorus every three lines, Finn argued that it should be done every four), and finally, it came time for everyone’s favorite part of the evening: the actual dinner itself.
“Provecho,” declared Felicia as she began to bring over dishes from the kitchen. “Finn, this chicken looks absolutely divine.”
“Thank you,” he said, helping himself to some chicken soup. “I hope it tastes as good.”
General consensus decided that yes, the lemon chicken was just as good as it seemed (Finn was infinitely relieved), as were the other dishes served up by the family. Bea made herself at least three matzah sandwiches with Kes’s date charoset (his specialty), while Finn found himself drawn to Mira’s chopped liver (“It’s so bad for you, but Jesus, it’s so good”).
And, of course, small talk had to be made.
“So, is this very different from your family’s Seders?” asked Mira over dessert (orange flan and sorbet).
“Not really,” said Finn, trying not to be too conscious of how Poe was leaning into him. “My dad’s Cuban Jewish, so I’m kinda used to a lot of this.”
“Cuban?” asked Felicia, clearly interested. “Just like this one’s late mother.” She pointed her thumb at Poe. “No wonder you get along so well.”
“Ah.” He honestly never really considered that.
“You didn’t know?” she said—more teasing than scolding. “Ay, how long have you two been together?”
Finn looked at Poe. “Um, two months, right?”
“Right,” said Poe, looking back at his nonna. “We’ve been together for two months.”
Felicia clicked her tongue. “And only now you tell me?”
“We wanted to be sure that this was serious,” said Finn.
Kes grunted. “As I recall, you’ve only known each other for five months?”
“Well, I guess we were just meant to be,” said Poe sweetly, resting his head on Finn’s shoulder.
His heart hammered. Shit. He really had to do something about this.
“Hey, um, darling,” he said with a smile, trying not to let his panic leak through, “can we talk?”
As soon as they were in Poe’s old room (no other area of the house would be safe from Bea in her pursuit of the Afikoman), Poe turned to look at Finn with a confused expression. “What’s going on?”
“Poe—” Finn sighed, raising his arm. “Poe, I don’t know if I can do this anymore.”
“Do what?”
“Your family,” he said, “is just—they’re great, man. They don’t deserve this.”
“Deserve what?” said Poe irritably, even though Finn was sure he knew what he meant.
“Being lied to,” said Finn. “They’re gonna spend the rest of the night thinking you finally found yourself a nice Jewish boyfriend, and eventually you’re gonna have to tell them you’re bullshitting, right?”
“Look—”
“Or what if you actually fall in love?” said Finn, struggling to keep his voice down. “What will your family think of you then, when they hear that you’re cheating on the nice man you brought home for Passover?”
“So what if I have?” hissed Poe, with a slightly pained expression—oh.
Ohhhhh.
Finn stopped. “Wait a second.”
“What is it now?” said Poe irritably.
“I don’t think you were lying when you told Felicia you had a boyfriend,” said Finn, sending a quick prayer to God that he was right on this assumption.
Poe shook his head. “I was, buddy.”
“Not really.”
He raised an eyebrow.
Finn took a deep breath. “I love you.”
Poe opened his mouth, but didn’t say anything.
Kol ha’olam kulo gesher tzar meod, ve’ha’ikar lo lefached klal, he repeated in his mind. Kol ha’olam kulo gesher tzar meod, ve’ha’ikar lo lefached klal. Kol ha’olam…
“What,” said Poe drily, after the longest five seconds of Finn’s life.
“What do you mean?” asked Finn, praying his voice didn’t betray how freaked out he was. Lo lefached klal, lo lefached klal…
“I never realized,” he said.
“Why?”
“I was too busy … holy shit.” Poe’s eyes widened. “I love you too.”
Holy shit.
Finn smiled. “And I never realized.”
“We’re just a bunch of idiots, then?” said Poe, with one of the warmest smiles Finn had ever seen him with.
“You don’t get to call your boyfriend an idiot,” said Finn, gently taking hold of his hand. And didn’t that feel good, being able to truthfully say boyfriend?
“Ok, fine, I take that back,” said Poe, rubbing circles on Finn’s palm with his thumb. “Tembel.”
“Imbecil.”
“Buddy—”
Finn cut him off with a gentle kiss. Poe paused for a moment, before grabbing onto his face and kissing back with intensity.
“That,” said Finn breathily as soon as they separated, “that word’s not allowed anymore.”
“You’re gonna kill me here, buddy,” breathed Poe, leaning his forehead against Finn’s.
Finn just laughed, and kissed him again. “Come on, let’s go back.”
Bea had found the Afikoman by the time they returned to the dining room.
“It was in the fridge!” she said, excitedly waving the piece of Matzah around. “I can’t really believe Nonna would put Matzah in the fridge, but it was there, and I found it!”
Poe high-fived his cousin. “Save a bite for me, will ya?”
She stuck her tongue out at him.
“Everything alright?” asked Kes as the two sat back down.
“Oh, yeah,” said Finn. “I guess I was just, you know, a bit nervous. To meet the family and all.”
“And you’re feeling better?”
“Definitely,” he said, smiling. His heart felt light at being able to be honest.
Kes smiled. “Well, you’re just in time for the songs.”
“Perfect.”
“So, you sure this wasn’t a mistake?” whispered Poe as they opened their Haggadot again.
“Not at all,” said Finn, grinning widely at his boyfriend. “This was a great idea.”