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Ok. Tonight he was going to do it. Tonight was the night that he would-- the buzzer rang and Dirk jumped from where he was pacing the floor.
"I'll get it." Dirk's twin, Dave, hauled himself off of the couch in their cluttered tenth story apartment.
"No!" Dirk shouted and bit his lip, hoping that Dave didn't notice his hastiness. "You've got some sick rhymes to work on, right?" Dave shrugged.
"Sure, man." Dave lay back down and Dirk barreled to the first floor.
Jake waved through the glass doors, giving a goofy smile. God, that smile. That ridiculous, dorky little smile could knock Dirk out. He fumbled at the door for a second, and came out just enough so that he could take the box from the delivery boy's hands.
"Here is your pizza, sir!" God, he was so formal, and it was so cute! Dirk could almost see him sparkling.
"Thanks, man." On the other hand, Dirk sounded like he was talking to an old friend.
"I hope I am not too forward, chum, but can I ask you something?"
"Oh shit," Dirk thought. "Maybe he's gonna ask me out?" He could feel the blush spread across his cheeks.
"Why do you keep asking for delivery when the pizzeria is right down the street?" Jake jerked his thumb back toward the little hut called "Harley's Pizza." Dirk knew that Jake lived on the second floor of the pizzeria, with his cousin, Jade Harley whose mom owned the store.
"Uhh..." Dirk didn't have a back up plan. "Um, my bro's calling me. I gotta go." Dirk groped for his wallet and practically threw the money at Jake, before starting to run toward the elevator.
"Wait! Strider!" Jake kept the door open with his foot and Dirk turned around. "Are you calling tomorrow, too?"
"Of course." Shit, he didn't want to sound flirty. "Maybe." Too mysterious. "High chance probability." God, he was just going to end it there.
"Ok! Well, see you tomorrow, old chap!"
"Yeah, bye!" Dirk managed to escape to the elevator. He banged his forehead into the wall and swore. He had been so distracted by Jake that he was unable to even ask the boy out. Grumbling to himself, Dirk came into his apartment.
"You ordered pizza again?" Dave sprang up from the couch where he had been rapping to himself. "Jegus, man! We've eaten pizza every night for a month!"
"Shut the fuck up." Dirk threw his pizza on the table and collapsed, face down, on the couch. Dave rolled his eyes and started eating his pizza. His bro had been acting weird -- they hadn't had a roof top battle in weeks.
"Bro, you ok?"
"Yeah, I'm good." Dirk gloomily came back to the table and began eating pizza. Dave didn't prod -- when Dirk needed to talk he would talk. With an eye roll hidden by Ben Stiller's glasses, Dave started eating as much pizza as possible so that tomorrow they wouldn't have leftovers.
For another week, every night was the same. Order pizza, promise to ask Jake out, don't ask Jake out, repeat. Dave was getting tired of eating pizza, but Dirk refused to relent. So, they had their stalemate.
This night started out the same, but tonight was different.
"Harley's Pizza!" The next day, Dirk called them again. "How my I help you?"
"Hi, Jade! One extra large cheese pizza!"
"Good lord, again, Dirk?" Jade's snorting laughter rang out. "Ok! One pizza coming right up. Jake! Dirk's usual."
"Are you fucking ordering pizza again?" Dave yelled.
"Yes! I love pizza!" Dave groaned. Again, Dirk ran down the stairs after the buzzer shouted.
"Hey, man!" Dirk took the pizza. "Thanks."
"No worries, good man!" Dirk tried to abscond, but Jake stopped him. "Are you ordering tomorrow?"
"Probably. My bro fucking loves pizza. It's like some weird fetish." Jake giggled.
"So, you don't like pizza?"
"Do I look like a monster to you? What depraved animal doesn't like pizza?"
"Then, maybe you'd like to have pizza at the pizzeria with me, tomorrow?" Dirk nearly dropped the box out of shock. "I mean, you get pizza every night anyway, so we might as well be friends, right?"
"Right!" Dirk nodded quickly.
"Bring your brother, since he loves pizza so much."
"No!" Dirk shouted quickly. "I mean, he can't come tomorrow. He has a... rap battle! Yes, he has a rap battle with his friends tomorrow night!"
"Oh, ok. Just the two of us, then!" Jake smiled and pushed his glasses back. "Ok. Is tomorrow at seven o'clock fine?"
Tomorrow at three in the morning would be fine. "Yeah, see you tomorrow!" The two parted ways, and Dirk didn't even bother taking the elevator, simply sprinting up the stairs.
"Dave!" Dirk crashed through the door.
"What the fuck, man?" Dave's normally calm composure shattered and he fell off the couch.
"Pizza!" Dirk threw the pizza on the table and began humming to himself. "We should really get rid of these boxes." Dirk began shoving the empty pizza boxes into garbage bags.
Dave groaned. "Tomorrow I'm eating at Rose and Roxy's. John and Jane are going to be there, too. You wanna come?"
"No!" Dirk smiled and cheerily continued his cleaning.
"The fuck? You're always up for parties, man!"
"Not tomorrow! I've got plans!" Dirk grabbed a slice of pizza and put his feet up on the table. "By the way, can I borrow one of your suits?"
Dave's mouth formed an o. "Oh, I get it now."
Dirk quirked an eyebrow. "You do?"
"You've got a date, haven't you? Who's the girl?" Dave leaned forward. "Is it Jade? Is that why you've been ordering pizza? To talk to her? C'mon, spill it!"
Dirk panicked. "It's not Jade, it's, uh, her sister! Jackie! She came down from New York a while ago."
"Is she hot?"
"Very."
Dave winked. "Oh, good luck. And yeah, borrow one of my suits."
That night, Dirk took an extra long shower.
***
"Dave, do I look okay?" Dirk looked at himself in the mirror. He had worn one of his bro's suits, a black one that didn't have one of his stupid broken records on it. He donned a snazzy orange bowtie, and put more gel in his hair.
"For the last goddamn time, bro, you look fine!" Dave slapped his shoulder. "So, I'm sleeping over with John and Jade at the Lalondes', so if you need the apartment to yourself, you got it." Dave winked and Dirk blushed profusely.
"Gog, Dave! Maybe I want to spend a quiet, civilized night with Jake-- Jackie." Wow, Jake was really rubbing off on him. Finally, Dirk assured himself he looked fine, with the help of Dave, and steeled himself for his meeting with Jake. Even with that, he was barely able to walk through the door and into the pizzeria.
"Dirk!" Jake ran up to his friend. "C'mon!" He grabbed his arm and began pulling him.
"Where are we going?" Dirk was confused, as Jake was pulling him past the tables.
"Here!" Jake pulled him into a small room, with a table and a box of pizza in it. "This is one of the extra rooms; I just pulled a spare table in here, since I didn't want our first meeting to be in the cluttered main area."
"Yeah." Dirk was finally able to look closer at Jake. To his surprise, Jake wasn't wearing his jacket and weird skull-shirt. Jake was wearing a button-up shirt and a jacket, one that wouldn't go well with a modern teenager, more like an old man from the 1800's, but on Jake it was beautiful. Anything would look good on Jake, Dirk appraised. And his lips! Dirk just wanted to--
"Dirk, chap, are you alright?" Jake's voice broke him out of his stupor, and he smiled.
"Yeah, sorry. Thanks for moving this in here and inviting me, and all." Dirk quickly changed the subject and sat down. For the next few hours, the boys drank soda and ate pizza. Dirk discovered that Jake loved blue-skinned females, skulls, and adventures. He also learned that their TV was broken, so he hadn't been able to watch any movies for a while.
Jake sighed. "It must be nice, living alone with your brother. I have to contend with my cousin, my parents, and her parents. Not to mention Bec. I mean, he's a good dog, a best friend, and all, but he gets so excited. And her mom used to work at a postal service before this, and she's obsessed with mail. And her dad? I'm pretty sure he used to be an assassin or something. She once brought home some guy named 'Dave' and Uncle Jack almost shot him. She ended it after that--"
"Dave?" Dirk blurted out. "What did he look like?"
Jake shrugged. "I didn't get a chance to see him. Jade told me that he really enjoyed this picture of a broken record. You know, we've never met each other's siblings--"
"Jake, my brother is Dave. We might not have met each other's siblings, but our siblings sure have met each other."
Jake blinked and burst out laughing. "Are you serious?"
Dirk's mouth twitched. "Yeah! You know, speaking of siblings. Dave is out for the night, you wanna come over?" Fuck, fuck, fuck, Dirk thought, panicked. "I have a working TV, and we can watch some movies. Play some video games."
"Sounds great! Jade's out, and my parents don't care if I leave, so let's go!"
Dirk grinned to himself. He had a chance with this Jake. And he was so much cuter when Dirk could actually talk to him.
"So, what's your favorite movie?" Dirk asked as they entered the elevator.
"Oh, I don't know. I love all movies. Especially if they have skulls and adventure in them."
"Have you watched Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skulls?"
"Of course! It's a masterpiece of fine cinema."
"Great, let's watch that, then." Dirk unlocked the door, and was horrified to discover Dave and John sitting on the couch.
"Oh, hey bro!" Dave got up from the couch and grinned. "How'd it go? You said that you wouldn't need the room, and the party was getting boring so I brought John over--" Dirk's heart stopped.
"Oh! You must be Dave!" Jake pushed open the door and shook the bewildered boy's hand. "I'm Jake English. You dated my cousin, although we've personally never met."
"Yeah excuse us for a moment; I gotta talk to my bro for a second." Dave grabbed Dirk's arm and steered him into his room, slamming the door shut. "'Jackie,' huh?"
"Actually, I had a very nice date with Jackie. I started talking to Jake, I mean, he delivers pizzas all the time, after Jackie had to go, and I invited him over since you 'were out.'"
Dave rolled his eyes. He'd been doing that a lot more since the Great Pizza Epidemic. "Dude, it's ok if you're gay--"
"I'm not gay!" Dirk hissed and turned around. Dave grabbed his arm and turned him back.
"You may not be gay, but if you ruin my chances with John motherfucking Egbert I'm going to hurt you." Dirk's mouth dropped open and he meekly followed his brother out of the room.
"Jake and I want to watch the Crystal Skulls!" John called from the couch. "You cool?"
"Yeah." Dirk plopped himself down between Jake and John. As they watched the movie, Dirk was less preoccupied with the goings-on on the screen, and more concerned with Jake. As Indiana Jones had his adventure, Dirk stared at Jake's face. The way he adjusted his glasses every few minutes, the way that his big teeth made him more adorable, the spattering of freckles across his face, everything about him was beautiful. To add to the sensation, at every plot point Jake would squeeze Dirk's hand, and at some point just held his hand. Dirk checked over to see how Dave was doing with John regularly, and at some point John had just snuggled on his brother's chest, and Dave was waggling his eyebrows at Dirk.
At the end of the movie, Dave stretched and got off the couch. "Jake, do you want to stay over? It's pretty late."
"Sure! Let me just--" Jake took out a phone decorated with... Skulls, obviously. "Ok! I didn't bring any pajamas, though."
"That's ok, I have some extras," Dirk offered.
"Alrighty, then!"
"John, you can sleep in my room since Jake will take the couch." He leaned down to whisper something extra, and with a blush, John hurtled into the blonde's room.
"Yeah, good night." Dave sniggered and shut the door behind him.
"Well, this couch is gross, so you can sleep in my bed and I'll sleep on the couch."
"I couldn't possibly impose like that!" Jake looked at the couch and slightly recoiled at the thought of sleeping there, but he swallowed his disgust.
"Well, okay then, we can sleep in my bed. I mean, we're both straight, so." Dirk shrugged nonchalantly and Jake laughed.
"Right-o!" Dirk lent Jake some of his pajamas and he got into bed.
"Hey, Jake, can you turn the lights off before you get--" Dirk turned toward the boy who had just come out of the bathroom completely shirtless, and nearly fell out of bed.
"You don't mind if I sleep shirtless? These summers are dreadful!"
"N-no, I don't mind at all." Dirk gave a shaky smile as Jake lay down next to him. Dirk was unsure how, but he was able to go to sleep, albeit for a few hours. When he woke up, he and Jake had somehow ended up tangled together. Dirk tried to get himself out, although he didn't want to, but a strong arm stopped him. Jake's eyes flew open and the boy gave a huffed sigh. With a quick motion, Jake was on top of Dirk.
"Look chap, I don't know how I can make this any more obvious, so the pleasantries are off." Jake leaned down. "Dirk, you are very bad at cues." Without any further words, Jake cupped his hands around Dirk's cheeks and kissed him. Dirk gave a little gasp, opening his mouth just enough to allow Jake inside. Recovering from his initial shock, Dirk reciprocated the kiss. He always thought that he would be the dominant one, but he was not going to move Jake's hands.
The two separated after a minute, and Dirk gave a breathless laugh. "I think I understood that cue."
The next day
"Dirk! Wake the fuck up! John and I made pancakes! Also, it looks like Jake left, he's not on the couch." A muffled phrase that sounded like "god, he does not shut up" echoed from out of the room.
"Good morning, Dave sir!" Jake wrenched open the door blearily as Dirk looked on in horror. In his tiredness, Jake had pulled on one of Dirk's T-shirts, and since it was quite large on him, had not bothered to put on pants. "If you could kindly let us sleep for another goddamn thirty minutes, that would be great thanks." Jake slammed the door, and the last think Dirk heard was, "Not gay? Huh!" And John's uproarious laughter.