Chapter Text
Connor McKinley prided himself on being skilled at just three things. Three very specific things. One of them was tap dancing. The second was arts and crafts. And the third was reading other peoples’ emotions. He was practically empathic for Christ’s sake. He could tell in a heartbeat if one of his fellow missionaries was feeling blue or silly or happy or troubled or anything— just by looking into their eyes. Connor was just one of those people that could pick up on subtle clues without the other person even saying anything. His intuitiveness and caring nature was one of the reasons he made such a wonderful District Leader to their ragtag group of young, hormonal, nineteen-year-old missionaries. The other Elders always knew they could come to McKinley for life advice or a late night heart-to-heart. His door was always open to each and every one of them—especially since they decided to finally stop turning it off.
If all of that was true, then why were Kevin Price’s feelings so darn elusive to him? It was starting to drive him bonkers. There were times when Connor could sense Kevin’s mutual affection for him. He could literally feel it radiating off the dazzling brunette he had a helpless crush on. He’d most often feel it in these soft, quiet moments they’d spend alone together when Connor would accidentally catch Kevin looking at him in this certain way—in a way that convinced the redhead that the boy reciprocated his feelings. In those moments, Connor absolutely knew it. But then the next minute, it was simply gone. Completely vanished, as quickly as it came, leaving Connor absolutely dumbfounded, scratching his head, wondering to whatever greater power they now believed in, if it was ever really there to begin with. He was confused and frustrated and just needed answers.
The emotional rollercoaster Connor was now on had started about a month after District 9 formally got shut down by the Mormon Church. That was when he picked up the first hint that Kevin may or may not have liked him back. They had been gardening outside in the sweltering heat for hours when Connor decided he had to take his shirt off or else he would quite literally die from heat stroke.
Connor glanced over at Kevin who had been gaping at him strangely. He blushed before shrugging. “What? It’s too hot.”
Kevin’s face instantly turned beet red, which was quite uncommon for the overconfident missionary who occasionally acted as though the world revolved around him. Tongue-tied, the brunette stammered out a reply. “Yeah, it is.” He murmured softly, staring at Connor’s exposed skin as though it were diamonds.
For the next hour in the garden, Connor caught Kevin staring at him countless times, each time Kevin coming up with some lame excuse.
“You should use more sunscreen.”
“You’re looking kinda red. Are you sure you don’t want more sunscreen?”
“No, you need to dig deeper holes for the carrots. Let me show you.”
Not long after that, Connor came down with a bad cold from a Ugandan virus he was clearly not immune to and was bedridden for over a week. Kevin jumped at the chance to help run the house while Connor was ill—taking care of the chore assignments, food shopping runs, bills, and anything else that Connor would normally do. In the mornings and nights, Kevin would make Connor a big bowl of chicken noodle soup and bring it to him in bed so he wouldn’t have to get up, oftentimes cheering him up with a funny joke or some village gossip to make him feel better. They would watch movies together on days when Kevin didn’t have any chores, Connor bundled up in a robe surrounded by used tissues and DayQuil, with Kevin waiting on him if he needed anything. Connor told him he didn’t need to trouble himself and that he could just relax, but Kevin said he didn’t mind. It was then that Connor realized that Kevin actually cared about him as much as he cared about him back.
They continued to walk a slippery slope between a close, caring friendship and something more, Kevin always stopping before it ever became something more. That hesitation constantly made Connor second guess his assumptions about Kevin’s feelings.
The redheaded District Leader, on the other hand, had known from the first moment Elder Kevin Price walked into the mission hut that he was in big trouble in the boy department. In his eyes, Kevin was simply perfect—well, more like imperfectly perfect, despite the tall brunette’s apparent flaws and the growing pains he had to overcome after coming to Uganda. The other Elders, with the exception of Cunningham, all thought he was too conceited and a bit much to take at times. Connor had felt that way too, at first, but he’d eventually gotten to know Kevin Price well enough to see past all that. Kevin Price, imperfections and all, had simply stolen Connor McKinley’s heart. He’d allowed himself to fall hard for this boy—harder than he’d ever allowed himself to fall for anyone before. And the more he got to know him, the harder he fell.
Connor also couldn’t ignore the fact that Kevin was absolutely gorgeous. His soft, chestnut hair somehow always looked perfect, even when they were working outside, gross and dripping with sweat. He adored the way a few stray locks of hair seemed to always fall down over his eyes, the taller boy constantly having to bat them away. But his good looks and silky hair weren’t the only reasons Connor adored him. Kevin’s eyes told him everything he needed to know. He had such kind eyes. They were warm and chocolate-y brown and Connor could see they were so much kinder and gentler than most people gave him credit for. Not to mention his smile—that bright, delightful smile that could melt Connor’s heart in a second.
Now if only he could find out for sure how Kevin felt. After months of growing closer to one another, Connor was honestly still not sure. He did know that he needed to get to the bottom of it before Kevin’s mixed signals drove him completely insane.
“You are totally wrong, Arnold. Just…no!” Kevin exclaimed emphatically, shaking his head in frustration. “Where do you even come up with these things?” Kevin muttered to his companion and best friend as they each slid into their beds after turning out the lights, getting ready to go to sleep. They occasionally engaged in idle pillow talk like an old married couple.
“Alright, jeez, Kev. I was just asking. You don’t need to get all sensitive about it.” Arnold retorted in a loud whisper.
“I’m not getting sensitive!” Kevin whispered hotly, rolling over to face the window. “I just wanna go to sleep now, okay?”
After a few moments of quiet, Arnold continued in a softer tone. “It’s no secret that you’ve been spending an awful lot of time with Elder McKinley lately. You talk about him all the time. I just thought maybe something was going on there. I mean, we all know Elder McKinley has, uh…those types of feelings for boys.”
“Connor. His name is Connor.” Kevin corrected his best friend with a sigh. They had abandoned the title of “Elder” months ago, but for some reason Arnold still kept referring to their District Leader by his previous formal title. “And I’ve told you before, we’re just friends, okay? Good friends. Nothing more, nothing less. Besides you know I’m not…um…I’m not…”
“Not gay?” Arnold asked, rolling his eyes slightly. “Whatever, dude. I see the way you look at him.”
“What?” Kevin gasped in disbelief, a bit louder than he intended, his face reddening. “What do you mean the ‘way I look at him’?” He demanded defensively. His face then softened a little when he realized his friend might have noticed something he hadn’t. “How—um, how do I look at him?”
“I don’t know.” Arnold shrugged and got quiet for a moment to give it some more thought.
Kevin shifted uncomfortably in his bed, pulling the covers up around his chin. He didn’t like anything about this. The whole thing was awkward and uncomfortable. Kevin hated talking about his feelings like this, even if it was just Arnold. And he certainly didn’t like it when other people seemed to know things about himself that he wasn’t even quite sure of yet.
Arnold sat up in bed to face Kevin. “You sometimes look at him like you think he’s just…the best person in the whole world. But, like…different than the way I look at you…even though I think you’re the best person in the whole world too. You just, um…you look at him funny, that’s all. I don’t know how to describe it. But I can just tell, ya know?” Arnold shrugged again and rolled over to snuggle his stuffed Yoda doll. “But what do I know? I’m just a prophet and all.”
Kevin rolled his eyes. “You and I both know that means nothing.”
“Try telling that to Nagasaki. She thinks I’m the best thing that’s ever happened to this place!” Arnold grinned, squeezing his stuffed animal happily.
“Well, don’t let it go to your head.” Kevin warned with a teasing half-smile and playfully chucked a small pillow at Cunningham’s head, causing the curly-haired boy to giggle. Kevin paused for a moment and sighed. “Anyway, I don’t have those types of feelings for other guys and, even if I did, I certainly wouldn’t feel that way about Connor.”
“Whatever you say, bud.” Arnold replied as he began to drift off to sleep. “I just know what I saw.”
Needless to say, Kevin barely got any sleep that night.