Chapter Text
mixtape added hit the kwan and 41 others to the chat
Donut Hoodie: wtf is this
hit the kwan: Hi vernonie~
Donut Hoodie: I think I'm going to vomit
hit the kwan: fuck you
smol and angry: I'm trying to sleep ffs
mixtape: it's 2pm
smol and angry: your point?
mixtape: whatever
mixtape: anyways, I decided to add all my friends to a
group chat
Mom: who said we were your friends
Dad: oh shit
bibleguy: watch your profanity please and thank you
Dad: I'm older than you
bibleguy: please and thank you hYuNg
Dad: u wanna go?
jackass: oh shit gon get real
bibleguy: no
jackass: aw
Agust Dick: ffs shut up let me sleep
Jamophobe: like father like son lmao
Dab: Why are we even here
cat army: clean your room BamBam oh my god
cat army: I can smell it from my room
Dab: fuck off hyung
jackass: no he's right I can smell it from outside the dorm
Momma 2.0: what is this
Agust Dick: apparently dabdab's room smells worse than him
Dab: fuck off grandpa
Agust Dick: I will fight you irl
Dab: let's go then!
Mommy: as if BamBam would ever leave the dorm for something other than practice lmao
Donut Hoodie: true
J-Hoe: life is great don't you think
Donut Hoodie: not when you share a dorm with BamBam
yugyeom: I share a room with him. I sleep in the living room now
Donut Hoodie: your name is so boring yugyeom yeet
yugyeom: no one says yeet anymore wtf
Donut Hoodie changed yugyeom's name to magical maknae
magical maknae: anyways where's exo
Innocent: MOANS
Innocent: ALL I CAN HEAR ARE MOANS
Donut Hoodie: oh no
Donut Hoodie: RUN KAI RUN
jungcock: DASI RUN RUN RUN
Innocent: "AH FUCK CHANYEOL MMM" WTF
4D Alien: baekhyun is getting it
Innocent: MY EARS
bibleguy: need a bible?
Innocent: I NEED LIKE FIVE HOLY SHIT
Innocent: WTF BAEKHYUN JUST MOANED "DADDY"
Gucci:
jungcock: Chanyeol has a daddy kink confirmed
Mother: A MAKNAE JUST SAID A DIRTY WORD
Mother: I REPEAT, A MAKNAE JUST SAID A DIRTY WORD
jungcock: I'm 19 wtf
jungcock: Lisa says worse things
Mother: She's twenty!
jungcock: what about kai??
Mother: he's like 22!
jungcock: ughhhh
top text bottom text: hey guys what's up
Innocent: what's up?
Innocent: WHAT'S UP?
Innocent: "AHH FUCK CHANYEOL MM" "DADDY"
Innocent has left the chat
jungcock: I think Chanyeol broke kai lmao
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Agust Dick: ok who the hell is moaning at 3am
Dance Monster: sounds like kookie's gettin it
jisoo #1: that is now forever imprinted in my mind
Mother: can I get my fucking beauty sleep without people fucking each other
J-Hoe: I can hear it from my room oh my god he's getting it good
J-Hoe: "mmm oh yeah" "fuck" "ah right there"
Jisoo #1: WE DID NOT NEED TO KNOW THAT
jisoo #1: but who's kookie with
J-Hoe: I bet ten dollars it's Taehyung
Jisoo #1: I bet ten dollars it's jimin
J-Hoe: vkook trumps jikook jisoo
J-Hoe: it's definitely taehyung
J-Hoe: "Oh fuck kookie" "mmm"
J-Hoe: it's a deep voice
Dance Monster: this is the third night in a row are they really that horny ffs
Agust Dick: I wonder if any other groups can hear it
thughao: I can hear it slightly
thughao: not very much though
Agust Dick: I forget that your dorm is right next to ours
Agust Dick: except when Mingyu and Wonwoo are fucking
thughao: probably because you never leave your dorm except for practice
Dance Monster: Jesus Christ can they get any louder oh my god
Dance Monster: apparently they can
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jungcock: good morning everyone~
Mom: are you okay?
jungcock: of course I am, what do you mean?
Lay's Potato Chips: he's not okay, is he
Agust D: not in the slightest
jungcock: I can't fucking walk WHAT DO I DO
4D Alien: I'll just carry you
jungcock: no it's fine, I'll just have to try hard I guess
Mother: I JUST HEARD A LOUD BANG DID NAMJOON BREAK SOMETHING AGAIN?!
Namjoon: No!
jungcock has left the chat