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Fionn Whitehead stepped out from one of the most nerve-wracking auditions of his life, took a breath, and pushed every thought out of his head.
Right on his heels was Harry Styles, who also let out a sigh of relief once the door to the audition studio clicked shut behind them. The click felt very final, sealing their fates. They would either get a callback from this audition, or they wouldn't. Nothing to do about it now.
Fionn grabbed his bag from one of the chairs lined up against the wall, shoving his already crumpled script into it. A couple other people sat on the chairs, waiting to be called in. The tension was suffocating.
“That was...intense,” Harry spoke up as he walked alongside Fionn to the elevator.
“Yeah,” Fionn’s heart was still jackrabbiting from being in that dim room, Christopher Nolan analyzing his every line.
He glanced at Harry. They'd seen each other twice now; at the very first audition for Dunkirk, where they'd been too nervous to say much, and again today for the second round of auditions, where they had to do it together. Even though Fionn just came out of an audition with him, he still felt like he didn't know Harry quite well.
“You, um, did good,” Fionn settled on, though Harry did much better than that, as they both got into the elevator.
Harry flashed him a genuine smile, teeth big and dimples deep. “Thanks. And you too, of course.”
A heavy silence rested on their shoulders. A couple years back, this would be the time Fionn started obsessing over every detail of his audition. Was his voice clear enough? Did he stumble on that one line too much? Did his nervousness overshadow the character he was playing?
But, from experience, Fionn knew stressing about an audition afterwards was the worst thing an actor could do. Worrying about it too much could eat you alive. Which is why his head was currently empty of audition thoughts, and would remain that way until he does or does not get a call.
Harry ran a hand through his hair, which did nothing at all since it was skillfully looped up into a tight bun. Fionn heard him take a shuddery breath, like the stress from the audition finally caught up to him.
Fionn wondered absentmindedly if Harry would make the rookie mistake of over analyzing his audition. He was a rookie after all, at least in the acting sense.
Harry seemed like the type to do all sorts of things to distract himself from thinking about his audition, Fionn thought, but then ended up thinking about it anyways. But Fionn didn't know him well, so he couldn't really say.
The elevator pinged and opened its doors, revealing the main floor. The two men got out, both heading to the building’s exit.
“You got a ride?” Harry asked him, and Fionn nodded quickly.
“I guess I'll see you, then?” Fionn said awkwardly as they got to the exit, “I mean, hopefully at the Dunkirk set, but wherever.”
“Alright,” Harry smiled easily, pulling out a pair of sunglasses and waving, “have a good day, mate.”
Fionn made his way to his car, parked in the middle of the lot, already dreaming about the nap he was going to take once he got to his hotel.
-
After a month and a little bit, Fionn had already done two more smaller auditions for Dunkirk, and now he truly had nothing to do except wait.
The Wait, as Fionn often referred to it as, was dangerous. It was the stretch of time between his last audition for the role and the callback he could get. He had nothing to do during The Wait, no lines to practice. It drove him nearly mad.
So, he decided to run to the gym. Exercising could occupy his mind, and if he got a role for Dunkirk, he'd probably have to get physical training anyways. He certainly wasn't the most muscular guy around.
After searching up gyms in London, he ended up going to the closest one to his hotel. He still drove there like a lazy ass, which was a bit ironic.
Fionn paid the entrance fee, headed upstairs, and when he saw all the exercise machines, he immediately felt lost. He had no clue where to start.
Setting his bag on the floor by the doors, he grabbed his water bottle and towel and walked around. It was embarrassing how he'd hardly ever gone to gyms before. He felt out of place, and the people exercising here could probably tell.
Somebody working on the spin bicycles caught Fionn’s eyes. He walked closer and when he saw who it was, he didn't know if he felt relieved or nervous.
It was Harry Styles.
His hair was in yet another bun, and he was wearing a grey t-shirt that was drenched in sweat, with black shorts. He looked like he came here everyday.
“Hello,” Fionn greeted a bit shyly when he approached Harry.
Harry's determined furrow-browed face broke into a surprised grin when he saw the other man. His legs stopped pumping the bike pedals and he pulled an earbud out of his ear.
“Fionn! What a surprise,” Harry stepped down from the bicycle to reach Fionn’s level, “how've you been?”
“Been well, thanks,” Fionn said sheepishly, “how are you?”
“I'm quite good,” Harry took a swing from his water bottle.
Fionn hesitantly added, “don't let me interrupt your workout. I just saw you here and wanted to say hi.”
“No worries, you're not interrupting much,” Harry assured him quickly, “actually, do you want to join me? I've only been on the bikes for five minutes.”
Fionn was eternally grateful Harry offered first. He really didn't want to ask to follow the older guy around the gym like a puppy who didn't know what he was doing. Judging from Harry's muscular legs and a hint of abs through his shirt, he was in much better shape than Fionn.
Climbing onto the bike beside Harry's, Fionn frowned when the small screen on the handles displayed a variety of options. He didn't know which one to select. He turned to Harry, who was already looking back with a smirk.
“Don't come here often?” Harry joked.
Fionn laughed lightly. “How could you tell? Was it my noodle arms or inability to work an exercise bike?”
“A bit of both.”
Harry showed him how to choose the right workout and intensity, and they both pedaled away. Fionn noticed the air between them wasn't as tense as it was when they last saw each other at auditions. This wasn't work-related, and it felt more like he was here at the gym with a friend.
Which reminded him, he should ask Harry if he got called to do more auditions. It might be awkward if Harry didn't, but Fionn was too curious.
“Did you end up doing more auditions for Nolan?” Fionn asked casually.
Harry nodded. “Yeah, I did two more after ours. You?”
“Same,” Fionn’s legs were starting to ache already, “how do you think you did?”
“Um, I'm not really sure,” Harry bit his lip, “I walked out thinking I did well, but the more I reflect on it afterwards the more I realize how many mistakes I've made. Can't change anything now, though.”
Fionn understood because he'd done the same thing for his past auditions.
“Don't beat yourself up over it, man,” he said, trying not to pant, “it's over and done, and now we just gotta wait.”
“That's the part I can't stand,” Harry admitted and Fionn hummed with agreement, “I hate not being able to do anything about the outcome now. So I've just been working out like hell recently, so I'm not just sitting there.”
“Now, that's a habit I should pick up on,” Fionn laughed.
He was tired, the back of his neck damp and his thighs burning. But Harry was much more collected. He was sweaty too, but his pace never faltered, his legs spinning the pedals relentlessly, his muscles shifting. Fionn envied him a little for that.
They continued to chat, and even though Fionn was getting a bit breathless, Harry didn't point it out. They talked more about auditions, then favourite films and directors, then about hobbies, while moving from spin cycles to elliptical machines to weight lifting.
Harry did about 100 bench presses. Fionn wasn't even shocked.
What he was a bit surprised about, though, was how nice Harry was. Not that Fionn expected Harry to be some sort of rich dickhead, but they didn't get a chance to talk casually during their auditions, so Fionn couldn't really gauge Harry's personality. He didn't know what he expected. Maybe for Harry to be a little big-headed, like most famous people were. But he wasn't.
Harry was too normal. A normal, sweaty guy at the gym, talking about his favourite movie Love Actually and his love for the Packers. But at the same time, he somehow unconsciously made every slow-spoken sentence he said sound interesting. Fionn was really starting to like him. He would like to be friends with Harry.
“I'm done,” Fionn breathed out after his 15th bench press, letting his arms flop to the side.
Harry was on the weight machine next to him and stopped at his words.
“Me too, then. That was a good workout,” Harry wiped his face with his towel, “you wanna grab lunch? The gym has a bar downstairs with good food.”
Fionn nodded. He was getting hungry, and he tended to be less fun to be around when he's hungry.
They quickly showered and got dressed in the locker room, and went down for lunch. The food bar wasn't too crowded, with most of the high spinny chairs empty. Fionn ordered fish and chips, and Harry got a salad.
“Well, aren't you a big health guy?” Fionn couldn't help but comment.
Harry shrugged. “I try to be. And also, salad is delicious.”
“In what world?” Fionn bit into his fish.
“Did you know that eating salad without the dressing reduces the fat by 75 percent?” Harry said.
Before Fionn could come up with a proper response to that, there was a shout from behind them.
“Oh my gosh, it's Harry!”
The two men turned around to see three girls, all blonde, all clutching phones. Their eyes focused solely on Harry.
“Hi,” Harry smiled at them, no annoyance shown on his face.
“Harry, oh my gosh, we're such big fans of yours!” One girl in the middle exclaimed, “could we please get a picture?”
“Sure,” with no hesitation at all, Harry stood up to stand with the girls.
One of them turned to look at Fionn, holding out a phone. “Hello, um, could you take the picture? Of us and Harry?”
Fionn wasn't bitter. Of course these girls wouldn't recognize him, he's an actor, but not a famous one. He was a bit ticked they interrupted his meal, but he took the pictures without complaint.
The fans left with a chorus of “thank you so much”, and the men sit back down. Harry gave Fionn an apologetic look.
“I'm really sorry about that,” he said, sounding truly sorry.
Fionn waved it off. “It's fine, actually. I know you're famous and everything.”
“I didn't like that they made you take the picture,” Harry frowned, like it wasn't fair the girls preferred him over Fionn.
Fionn honestly didn't mind. He never thought too much about being famous, about what would happen if he got a role in a Nolan film. He obviously knew he'd be more well known, but he never dotted on it. He acted because he loved it and it was more or less his passion, not for fame.
“It's okay, fame isn't for me anyways,” Fionn told Harry, before tapping his fork on his plate in thought, “although I am surprised at how well you handle it. The fame, I mean.”
“Really?” Harry said around a mouthful of lettuce.
“Yeah. Like how you treated those fans, taking a picture with them even if you don't owe them anything and they disrupted your lunch,” Fionn explained, “and like how you're so down to earth, so normal, like being famous has no effect on you at all. How do you do it?”
Harry wiped his mouth with a napkin. “Well, first, I think we should be nice to everyone, be it fan or whatever.”
Fionn almost rolled his eyes. Harry Styles was a bloody angel, of course he was.
“I also like to keep my work life and personal life separate,” Harry continued, “it's almost like living in two worlds, where one doesn't effect the other. I find it easier to keep my head about things when I think of it like that.”
“Hm,” Fionn said.
Harry was impressive. Fionn was beginning to admire the guy.
“Why're you asking me this? Trying to subtly get advice?” Harry teased, nudging Fionn, “awaiting the day you'll be known as the young, handsome actor from Dunkirk?”
“Oh, stop,” Fionn pushed Harry's hand away, “that won't happen.”
“Sure,” Harry sang into his salad, and Fionn followed suit by digging into his fish.
After the meal, Harry and Fionn exchanged numbers before parting. Fionn did want to be friends with him, but unless both of them were casted in Dunkirk, they probably wouldn't see each other again otherwise.
The words Harry said settled inside Fionn. He decided that if he became famous, and that was a pretty big “if”, he would take Harry's advice. He wouldn't let the fame change him, he would be lovely to his fans, and he would keep his sanity. If Harry could do it, he could too.
-
It was two weeks later when Fionn finally got the call.
The Wait was over, it was all over, and yet it was just beginning too. The casting director told him he got the role of “Tommy” in the film.
Fionn was ecstatic, of course. Bouncing-on-the-walls excited, which he hardly ever was. This was hands down the biggest role he'd ever gotten, and it could change his whole life.
Apparently, he wasn't allowed to tell anyone, so he bottled up his excitement and tucked it in his chest.
He wondered who got the other parts, if all of the famous faces he'd seen throughout the auditions got casted. He felt a bit star struck seeing them during auditions, wondering if he would get a chance to work with them.
And then he wondered if Harry got a part.
Fionn distantly remembered Harry telling him, when they first met, about which roles he wanted. Harry said he was leaning towards “Tommy” or “Alex”.
Since Fionn was “Tommy”, he really hoped Harry got “Alex”. Fionn personally thought Harry was perfect for that character, although he never told him.
It suddenly hit Fionn how much he'd love to work with Harry on this film. They were both newcomers, and already friends of a sort, so they could support each other on set. Harry would be a great costar, always so nice and in tune with the people around him. He would take care of everyone.
He and Harry have unintentionally found each other three times already. First, at the auditions where they were close to each other in line. Then, at the second round where they auditioned together in a room. And once more at the gym. And now, Fionn was hoping for a fourth time, at the Dunkirk set.
He wanted fate to work it out, so that he and Harry could find themselves filming with each other. He really liked the other lad, wanted to know him better.
Fionn hoped that his and Harry's worlds would crash again, that Harry got the part he was aiming for.
And he did.