Work Text:
As you walked into the office, Thomas snickered at his shy friend beside him. “Give ya $50 if you tell Y/N she has a nice ass.” He elbowed James lightly, cackling as he did. Thomas was sitting on the edge of his friend’s desk as said friend was trying to do his work.
James could feel the blood rushing to his cheeks at the comment, immediately attempting to silence his fellow Virginian. “No, Thomas! She isn’t into stuff like that and I’m not either!” Thomas found great joy in teasing his friend.
James was far too obvious about his crush on you; from the way he always finds a way to make you smile to how he sends you a bouquet of flowers -always anonymously- on your birthday, Valentine’s Day, and when you’re having a bad day; he cares about you immensely.
Everyone else in the office knew the flowers were from him, but no one would tell you. It went like clockwork: flowers show up on your desk, you fawn over them and are flattered, coworkers see and “wonder” who they’re from (sometimes James has even had to pretend he had no idea who sent them), you’re in a happier mood for the rest of the week, and James is somehow not as sickly-looking during those times.
“I’ll give you eighty. Now do it! I’ve got a few ways to help you out if that’s too vulgar for you,” Thomas clears his throat. “Ahem. Extraordinaire derrière, phenomenal fanny, glorious gluteus-”
“Thomas, shut up! She’s almost done making her coffee!” James was far beyond embarrassed as well as angry. You were making you second travel mug of coffee in the break room, a ritual you’ve followed ever since you began at the Washington Law Firm several years ago.
“Best bum bar none, Jemmy! She has a superior posterior!” Thomas continued his tirade against James with a smile and barely-contained laughter. Other people were beginning to stare around the office, their reactions to the puns varying from amusement to frustration. The one thing that was worth it was the flustered James Madison on display.
“Fine heinie! And ooh, this one’s great- eye-feaster keister! Ha! How ‘bout that one, Jimmy-James- oh shit!”James shoved Thomas off of his desk -finally- and most of the office erupted into laughter. James nor Thomas realized you were hearing the whole ordeal, shoulders shaking as you attempt to contain your laughter.
Then you had an idea.
When your coffee is made to your taste, you set your briefcase on the counter and grab your legal pad and a pen. Ripping off the corner of the first page, you write a couple things before stowing your legal pad and pen back in your briefcase.
You grab your coffee in one hand and small piece of paper in the other and exit the break room, making your way to where Thomas was dusting himself off after his little trip and James angrily typing on his computer.
Thomas’s eyes go wide as you approach, unsure of what your intentions were once you got there. “Hey James,” Your voice snaps the man out of his angry typing and a smile graces his face. “Do you need anything, Y/N?”
His eagerness to help made you grin, and you noticed how his eyes became brighter in only a short moment. “Just your ears for a quick moment. First thing, don’t listen to Thomas or his puns. Second thing, ‘you have a cute butt’ works just fine.” Sliding the small sheet of paper towards him on his desk, you walk away towards your desk with an extra sway to your hips that isn’t too painfully obvious but just enough to draw attention.
James was sputtering when he unfolded the piece of paper, nearly freaking out once he sees your name, phone number, and “I’m free Friday at seven” with a heart beside it written in your favorite gel pen. Thomas was completely flabbergasted at the events that just unfolded and had no clue how to react.
.Your co-workers that heard what you had said to James were whooping loudly. James handed the paper to his friend and as he read it, he began to grin like a Cheshire cat. “He thinks you have a cute butt!” Thomas shouted across the room at you, James once again shoving Thomas off of his desk. This time, the taller man was prepared and didn’t fall as badly as before.
“Thanks, Jemmy! See you Friday!” You replied, knowing that Thomas was just trying to help his friend out and say what James was thinking.
James wanted to be angry at Thomas, but the utter joy from scoring a date with you was overpowering any negative vibes he could have had in that moment.