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Merlin was tired. It had been a long, not to mention extremely taxing day. Yawning, he dragged himself down the long hallway. All he wanted was to collapse onto his bed and pass out ‘til morning. As he passed by Arthur’s chambers, though, he saw that a candle was still lit on the table by the window.
“Arthur? Are you still-” he began as he walked through the doorway, until he noticed Arthur sleeping under his scarlet covers, his back to Merlin. He froze mid-step, hoping he hadn’t woken the king, but Arthur didn’t seem to have heard. Merlin breathed a sigh of relief. Arthur was never grateful when his royal beauty sleep was interrupted. He whispered a small spell to muffle his footsteps, just as a precaution.
Although Camelot still didn’t know about Merlin's abilities, he didn’t need to hide them from Arthur anymore. Telling Arthur had been hard, and he had been afraid that he’d lost Arthur because of it, but in the end it was worth it. Once Arthur saw how Merlin had served and sacrificed for him, their friendship grew stronger than ever before. They had no secrets now. Well, almost no secrets.
Merlin crept around Arthur’s bed to the table where the candle remained lit. He quietly snuffed it, and turned to leave.
As he glanced at Arthur to make sure the king still slept, he had to pause. The moonlight shone through the window onto Arthur’s sleeping form and Merlin couldn’t help but sigh in sadness. Arthur looked so troubled when he rested. The weight of the kingdom didn’t lift from his shoulders even as he dreamt. Merlin couldn’t help but want to ease that load, forgetting that he already shouldered many of Arthur’s burdens selflessly and without being asked to. If only he could smooth one more wrinkle…
Slowly, he leaned over Arthur, swept a blond strand of hair out of his face, and kissed his forehead gently. Then he backed away and started to make his exit.
Halfway to the door, he heard a rustle of sheets behind him and cringed, hoping the king was just shifting in his sleep. Then, to his horror, he heard Arthur speak. “Merlin,” he said in his arrogant yet slightly endearing tone, no trace of sleep in his words. Fear seized Merlin's belly. The damn prat was awake the whole time.
Merlin’s muffling spell disappeared in a gleam of gold light as he was caught red-handed. No use trying to be discreet now. He turned around to see Arthur now sitting up in bed, shirtless and arms crossed. “Sorry sire, I was trying… There was a… I was just-” Merlin stammered, pointing aimlessly as he tried to come up with an excuse for his probably cell-worthy actions.
“Merlin,” Arthur said again and Merlin closed his mouth, dreading the king’s next words. He struggled to read his face for signs of anger, but all he saw was the usual impatience with a touch of fondness. Arthur sighed, or huffed more like, and drew his legs up to sit crisscross under the covers. “Come here,” he said, motioning to the spot on the bed in front of him.
“What?”
“Just come here.”
“Why?”
“For Gods sakes, Merlin, I don’t bite,” he said, ever impatient. When Merlin still hadn’t moved, Arthur locked him in a fierce look, the one where he raises his eyebrows and tilts his chin down. “Sit,” he insisted with a head tilt.
Reluctantly, Merlin shuffled to the spot where Arthur had indicated and sat on the edge, his body facing Arthur's only slightly. He didn’t want to meet Arthur's eyes, but after a few nervous seconds, he had to look. Arthur was staring at him, hands clasped under his chin. At first his eyes only held thinly veiled amusement at Merlin's caution. Then, they softened, looking almost sad.
“You missed a spot,” Arthur finally said.
“I what?” Merlin said as Arthur leaned forward and kissed him. It was rushed and Arthur missed, kissing the side of Merlin's mouth before he found his lips. Merlin almost pulled away in surprise, expecting anything but a kiss. Maybe a scolding, or more likely a smack on the side of his head for being an idiot, but not…
He began to lean into the kiss as he reached to cup Arthur’s face in his palm. When Arthur covered Merlin's hand with his own, Merlin suddenly remembered what he was doing. What they were doing.
Reluctantly, he pulled away. “Arthur, what… what are you doing? Should we… what if people knew?” he whispered fiercely. He wouldn’t say he wasn’t worried about people knowing about him. He knew what it meant to walk through the city and wonder if he would be stoned if his powers were revealed then and there. He knew what it meant to hide a part of him from the world. But really, he was concerned for Arthur. His people loved him with all of their hearts. They looked up to him and respected him. But would that change if they knew what Merlin had just discovered? Could a kiss, one kiss, turn his people away? Merlin was a commoner, a nobody. No one would look twice at him. But Arthur? Arthur was a king.
Arthur sighed and leaned back, massaging his temples with both hands. “I know, I’m sorry, I just…” He let out a breath as his hands fell into his lap. “I just get tired. All of my life, I’ve made all of my decisions for my father, for Camelot, for the good of the realm. I never do things because I want to do them, because I...” he paused as Merlin began to grin. “Oh go on then,” Arthur said in annoyance.
“What?” Merlin said innocently.
“Tell me I’m a spoiled prat or whatever you’re about to say.”
“You are definitely a spoiled prat,” said Merlin, continuing to grin. “But,” he continued, cutting off an indignant Arthur before he could retort, his face becoming serious, “I know about the sacrifices you make, Arthur. You’re selfless, really. You hardly ever think about yourself. A lesser man would have ruined the kingdom by now. You’re a good man, and a great king,” he finished, looking down embarrassedly. He hadn’t meant to say all of that.
Arthur leaned forward and lifted Merlin's chin with his right hand to look into his eyes. “But see, that’s the thing. I can handle not thinking about what I want when it’s just me who wants it. I just thought… I’m sorry if I was wrong in thinking…” He pulled away again. “I’m sorry if I offended you. If I was wrong, I hope we can forget this. I hope we can still be friends. I would think no less of you if you wanted to leave my service-”
“Never,” interrupted Merlin.
“If I was wrong, I’m sorry,” continued Arthur. By now, he was running his hand through his hair nervously and looking to the side. “But I thought… I thought maybe for once someone wanted something I wanted. And if we both wanted it, why should we both do nothing about it? Why should we keep from doing what would make us happy? Because I don’t care, I really don’t care what people would think. I’m their king, damn it,” he said weakly as Merlin chuckled, then sobered as Arthur continued, “I’m just tired, Merlin. I’m tired of not doing the things I want to do. And I just hoped that… that you… wanted what I want. Was I wrong?” he finished.
Merlin answered his question with a kiss. He wanted to answer all of Arthur's questions with kisses, and did as their mouths locked together. One after another, he kissed Arthur's anxious, vulnerable look away. Close-mouthed and chaste, their lips explored what they never thought they ever would. Merlin only broke free long enough to close the door, eyes glowing, and climb fully onto the bed, putting each long leg on either side of Arthur. As they kissed, more deeply, more passionately, Merlin's hands held Arthur's face, holding him close. Arthur’s arms in turn wrapped around Merlin's waist, holding him even closer, but not close enough. Arthur then remembered he was still partially under the covers and growled in frustration, trying in vain to get rid of the sheets that had tangled around his legs.
“Get in here,” he said, finally yanking the covers away.
Merlin kicked off his shoes, laughing as he fell into the bed and settled on Arthur's chest. “Prat,” he teased, kissing Arthur hard. He could feel Arthur's smile on his lips, which only made him want to kiss him harder. As Merlin's hands combed through Arthur's golden hair, Arthur relieved Merlin of his scarf and tunic. Merlin yawned, and he could feel Arthur's bare chest breathing against his. He rolled onto his side, and Arthur intertwined his left hand with Merlin's right, kissing each knuckle. They nestled in together, Arthur's right arm under Merlin's head, which was tucked under Arthur's chin. As Arthur pulled him close, Merlin's right hand rested on Arthur's chest, fingers drumming lightly. For a few minutes, they simply lay together, the only sound their breathing, Arthur planting light kisses in Merlin's hair. Finally, when Merlin had nearly fallen asleep, Arthur whispered so softly he almost didn’t hear it:
“I love you.”
Merlin smiled into Arthur's chest and answered, “I love you too.”
He whispered a spell, and the sheets rose to cover them as they drifted off to sleep.