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"So...um...dad..." Stiles scratches the back of his neck, winces as his fingers find a hickey, winces even more when his dad glowers at him across the kitchen table, and then squirms.
Which isn't a good thing, because his ass really hurts.
In a really good way.
He can feel himself flushing and silently curses Derek for being a big wuss and jumping out the window when his dad threatened to get his gun and the wolfsbane bullets Argent keeps him supplied with.
"I know your preferred method of communication is babbling, but now is the time to be articulate, Stiles," John growls, fingers drumming on the table top.
"Um, yeah, okay, so sex pollen is a thing."
"What?" The glower deepens. "That made no sense."
"Sex pollen. Plants that make you, um, do it, or, y'know, anything that makes you do it. In our case it was actually a plant. I think it was bespelled by those stupid fae that passed through the territory last week and Derek, while wolfing around the Preserve, managed to stumble on it and, well, he came here because..." Yeah, that's not a good look on his dad's face at all.
"So, there was a magical aphrodisiac and the very adult Derek Hale was dosed with it. Say I believe that, why did that, again, very adult Derek Hale, come to you?"
"Um..." The flush turns to a fiery blush, but Stiles blurts it out anyway and hopes he's not grounded for life and Derek doesn't get wolfsbane buckshot up the ass. "We'resortofinarelationshipmaybeokayweare."
John long ago learned to decipher Stiles-speak and his frown deepens. "How long?"
"A couple months. Since he came back. We..." Stiles swallows hard and thumps his head down on the table. "I'm pretty sure I love him."
There's silence for a moment and just as Stiles starts to peek up to see if his dad his going ballistic or for the whisky or his gun, John asks, "Does Derek love you?"
"Um...I dunno? We haven't talked about it." Cautiously he lifts his head and finds his dad isn't florid anymore, though he still looks stern. Only half sheriffy.
"I know you're a teenager and teenagers think they're in love all the time, over and over, but he's not. And, believe me, I'm not happy about that, but..." and he stresses the but, "I also know you're not a kid by a long shot, and you could be very good for him. He's a fucked up young man."
"No kidding," Stiles mutters.
"But, I also saw him smile at you before I interrupted with my very understandable parental threats."
"Yes, very understandable," Stiles agrees quickly.
John snorts. "He never smiles. So, you made him smile. This is a good thing. You talk to him and then I will talk to him."
Stiles feels himself go pale in horror. "Dad, uh, you're not going to arrest him are you?"
"Would that do any good? All that would do is piss you off. But no more sneaking around, and, if you both want this to be a real thing, I expect you to go on real dates, do real couple stuff. He comes to the door. He doesn't hide you away and you do more than what you were doing an hour ago, got it?"
"Yeah, real dates, I'm all for that." He's pretty sure Derek will be, too. The biggest reason for hiding their relationship, which wasn't only sex-based--they spent a lot of time curled up watching movies or reading and eating together--was hiding it from his dad. Now that they don't have to do that any longer...
John sighs and rubs his forehead. "So...wanna tell me when you figured out you were gay?"
Stiles squawks and flails but can't help grinning as well because his dad is the coolest.
End