Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Prologue

Four year old Beca knew what pain and suffering was.

She found out about pain when her mother’s world started bleeding in orange: blacks and whites, and just orange. Then her father left them, and Brand, her older brother, told her that when daddy left, he had taken mummy’s colors with him too.

At first, Beca didn’t get it. Her world had always been painted in nothing but blacks, whites, and blues since she was born. What was so bad if her mother had oranges instead of blues?

When neither her daddy nor her mummy’s colors came back, Beca started to understand what her brother meant, and she started wearing gloves after that. The four year old Beca knew that gloves were only worn by people whose soulmates were dead. But Beca had decided she didn’t care about that or her soulmate either.

What was the point of giving color to someone when you’re just going to take it away?

The concept of suffering was understood for the following six years of Beca’s life. This time, she wasn’t sure where she understood it from. Maybe she got it from watching her brother—Brand used to be jovial and free spirited, careless and free. Beca felt like her daddy took Brand away too, and then her with a different brother, instead. Beca loved Brand all the same.

 Maybe it was from her mother, who not only had to pick up the pieces of herself for her children, but also because she was told that a terminal illness only left her with a few years to live.

Whichever it was, ten year old Beca was well aware that the tight feeling in her chest she gets whenever she thought of her sick mom was called pain. And ten year old Beca knew that the moment her mommy’s grip on either of Beca’s or Brand’s hand slackened, Beca would feel suffering for a long while.

Her mother took a deep shaky breath. “I’m so proud of the two of you,” her voice was weak. Her eyes flickered between Brand and Beca. She tried for a smile. “Promise me something, okay? Give mommy a gift before she goes?”

Beca didn’t know why her eager nodding brought a tear sliding down her mommy’s cheeks. “I want you two to live good, alright? Finish school, go to college and follow your dreams, loves. And never forget to have each other’s backs, okay?”

(8 years later)

Stupid.

All around campus, parents were dropping off their kids, who in turn were trying to shake hands with practically every person they meet. And the whole sight of it looked stupid to Beca. Seriously, it never ceases to amaze her how desperate people are to find their soulmate.

Beca sure as hell wasn’t. In fact, the universe would be doing her a favor if she could just breeze through this college thing without a single drop of soulmate drama. She found it ridiculous that she has to wait for some stranger’s hand to graze on some part of her skin to see the world in full color. And said stranger would make her life complete. Right.

Beca has lived her entire life seeing only blue—and she’s completely convinced that she doesn’t need to see the world in any other color. So, nope, no soulmate drama for her.

Unfortunately, the universe didn’t seem to agree.

It didn’t even take an hour for some goofy kid in a car to start serenading her with “Wayward.” It was accompanied by a one-handed attempt at air guitar, and one outstretched hand begging to be shaken. The goofy kid had boyish good looks, Beca gave him that. Still, she just smirked at him, showing her perfectly gloved hands, before turning her attention back to the Barden Greeters.

“…and your official BU rape whistle. Don’t blow it unless it’s actually happening! Nobody likes that.”

Rape whistle? Jesus, Barden was weird. Beca accepted said whistle, placing it carefully on her lips with a coy grin. She kept her eyes on the greeter, walking away backwards without a word of thanks.

Beca may or may not take pleasure in antagonizing people.

“Oh my god, you little hogmonkey! I can’t believe it’s been 15 fucks since I last saw you!”

Now, that was one of the very few people who could away with antagonizing her. And yeah, Stacie Conrad had a habit of using her number of fucks as a time reference. Why “15 fucks” comes more naturally than “a month or so” to her, Beca would never understand. Had never understood in all the five years Beca knew her. But hey, her best friend has always been special that way.

Beca could swear that having Stacie as a roommate was the only upside of this situation. She eyed the leggy brunette’s side of the room, and saw that Stacie’s things had been unpacked and neatly placed.

“Dude, when did you get here?”

Stacie rolled her eyes, and tried to restrain from make a quip about Beca never checking her phone. “Yesterday—like you should have been. Brand’s been worried sick; you’re still not mad at him, are you?”

Stacie was also her older brother’s soulmate.

Beca just shook her head, systematically setting up all her music equipment on her side of the room. Beca understood where her brother was coming from. It was their mother’s dying wish. But Beca was pretty sure that when her mom said ‘live good,’ it didn’t mean that everything else that followed after that was the perfect formula for it.

Also, it was exasperating that Brand felt a need to hold up all her inheritance money to ensure she didn’t just run away to LA on her own. Real mature.

“…hide your wine coolers!”

And then, there was her dad.

Dr. Mitchell invited himself in the room as he said, “I’m kidding. It’s just your ol’ man trying to make a funny.” Stacie smiled at him politely, kissing him on the cheek, “Hey, Warren.”

“Chris Rock, everybody.”

“So when did you get here? How did you get here?”

Beca finally turned, and gave her dad her full attention. “Took a cab. Didn’t want to inconvenience you and Sheila. How is the stemponster?”

“She’s great! She’s—”

Beca snorted, “Don’t really care, dad. Just wanted to say ‘stepmonster.’” She could feel Stacie trying not to giggle. Beca figured she should save herself from anymore bullshit than this.  She looked her father in the eye, and folded her arms.

“Look, dad, I don’t know what you’re trying to do right now, but let’s just make it clear one more time,” Beca said in a bored tone. “I’m going to college, because Mom and Brand want me to. I’m here, because you offered to help me move to LA as long as I went to Barden for just two years. And since Brand has made it perfectly clear that I won’t be getting my money till four years, yours was the better offer. And said offer doesn’t really require me to interact with you in anyway, so I won’t—praise Jesus, halleluiah.”

It took an awkward beat of silence before Stacie announced, “I’m going to the Activities Fair.”

Beca gave her a thankful smirk, before changing it to one filled with sarcasm, as she turned to her father. “Well, then so am I. Show yourself out, dad. You’re good at that, aren’t you?”

“Basically, what we do is we join arms in a large ring and we run clockwise and sometimes we’ll do variations on that.”

Beca doesn’t even want to get started how Stacie had managed to get them roped into the Running in a Circle Booth. She’s tired from her flight, and she just really wanted to make a quick round in the activities fair, before going back to her (hopefully) empty room. She had no intentions of joining anything at all.

Another club representative picked up on their conversation. “It’s really about movement and, health, circulation—mimicking the earth’s orbit around the sun.”

Stacie frowned. “But the earth’s orbit is elliptical.”

Everyone in the booth stopped whatever they were doing, and snapped their heads towards Stacie. All their eyes widened, and someone shouted, “Sacrilege!!”

Beca quickly grabbed Stacie’s hands, tugging her out of there. “Yeah,” she said. “We’re, uh, just going to go now and look around.”

She tugged Stacie out of there fast. But she could hear one of the representatives shouting from the distance, “Around! You could do so well here!”

By the time Beca slowed down, they were already on the other side of the fair. Stacie and Beca shared a look, before bursting out in laughter.

They continued roaming around the fair. Beca didn’t really care for it, so she was playing a game of “how many numbers can Stacie get from hot guys today?” So far, the leggy brunette was at phone number twelve. They were on their way to the Swimming Club’s booth when someone interrupted them.

 “Hi! Any interest in auditioning for our a capella group?”

Beca was not a fan of strangers suddenly approaching her, so by the time she was turning to face the owner of the voice, a snarky reply was already on her lips…except it died.

And the cause of death was staring at her with clear blue eyes that stood out against every single thing in her vision. Don’t be weird, Beca, she chided, and quickly averted her gaze to the flyer being handed to her.

“A capella. Oh right, this is a thing now,” she said. Nice one, Mitchell. Smooth. Now, all she had to do is look at the other girl instead of that very dangerous pretty blue eyes.

Useless. Said other girl was just as distracting as Blue Eyes…for completely different reasons. Beca backtracked. Okay, in all fairness, the other girl was hot too, with hair nicely kept in big curls. And yeah, drop-dead gorgeous. But what actually ticked Beca off was the other girl’s eyes on her, as if she was being dissected alive, her soul being judged. Beca hated it.

“Totes. We sing covers of songs but do it without any instruments—it all comes from our mouths!”

This seemed to pick up Stacie’s interests. “Interesting. What else can you do with your mouths?” The sexual undertone was evident, and Beca tried not to bark out a ‘Stacie, heel!’ There was no heeling Stacie Conrad.

Thankfully enough, Blue Eyes took it in stride, laughing before going on about the other a capella groups in Barden.

Beca took the time observing the two…Bellas (?). She noticed that the two of them were wearing identical soulmate bands through a necklace. Huh. Figures that pretty Blue Eyes was the soulmate of drop dead gorgeous Other Girl.

(Beca tried to ignore the weird and unfounded feeling that saunters up to her stomach at the revelation.)

She wondered if there was a story as to why they didn’t wear the rings on their fingers instead. Soulmate bands were really symbolic, after all. Take Stacie and Brand’s for example. Their bands were matching earrings, for some cheesy reasons Beca didn’t wish to recall.

“So, are you interested?”

Blue Eyes directed the question at her, so she took a glance at her best friend. Stacie seemed to be hooked, since she was already signing her name in a sheet. Beca shrugged. “I don’t know. Seems pretty lame.”

“Aca-scuse me? Synchronized lady dancing to a “Mariah Carey”-chart topper is not lame.”

The venom in Other Girl’s voice was evident, to Beca’s amusement.

“We sing all over the world and compete in national championships—”

“On purpose?”

“We played the Cobb Energy Performing Arts Center, you bitch!”

Beca felt a satisfied smirk creep up at her face, when Other Girl snapped. But she was distracted by Blue Eyes who quickly tried to make peace, “What Aubrey means to say is that we’re a close-knit, talented group of ladies whose dream is to return to the national finals at Lincoln Center this year.” Blue Eyes said, her voice was dripping with honey. “Help us turn our dreams into a reality?”

Stacie handed Beca the signup sheet expectantly. She could feel Stacie’s amusement and curiosity on what Beca was going to do next.

“Sorry, I don’t even sing, so…it was nice meeting you.” She tried for an apologetic smile, but failed when she saw how wound up Other Girl—Aubrey looked. Her smile ended up as more of the satisfied smirk she had worn before.

“See you at auditions!” Stacie laughed as she was dragged away by the little lying brunette.

Chapter Text

Kuddos to Stacie and Brand.

The college thing wasn’t as insufferable as she thought it would be. And Stacie being here was what made that true. Beca even found herself a nice little rhythm to her college life.

She sleeps through her classes—(they said go to college, not pass her classes), and wakes up just in time for brunch. She was able to land herself an internship at Barden’s radio station, and her shift covers lunch up till two. It wasn’t what she expected, though. Stacking CDs, who would’ve thought? It’s there that she finds Mr. Wayward to be one Jesse Swanson.

“So what’s your deal? You one of those girls who’s all dark and mysterious until she takes off her glasses, and that amazingly scary ear spike, and you realize she was beautiful the whole time?”

Wow. Just when Beca thought there wasn’t a way she could find Wayward Boy to be less attractive. Jesse grins at her as if he hadn’t told her his standard of interests were reduced to a shallow sense of beauty objectification and stereotypes.

But Beca wasn’t really interested in keeping their conversation going, so all she replied with was, “I don’t wear glasses.”

It didn’t work. The guy somehow holds the conversation, and their banter turned out to be not so bad. It was almost fun. Almost. She just couldn’t decide whether ‘cocky’ or ‘full of himself’ described the guy better.

“Ha! You’re terrific. Just wait. You’ll go all squidy and drape yourself all over me. It’ll be fun—you’ll see.”

Right. Fun was finishing up her shift at the radio, and grabbing a late lunch which she ate in the quad. Only a few people are out there during the time she arrives. She claimed herself her territory with the most perfect shade the nearby trees could give, and then she spends the rest of the daylight either working on her mixes, or listening to new music. Afterwards, she’d meet up with Stacie for dinner (when her best friend wasn’t busy shagging someone). And then, for some days, she’d go to the club where she scored gigs a few nights a week and go DJ her night out.

 Yes, Beca was quite satisfied with how she was making the most of her forced college life.

It’s on her first Thursday that Beca noticed Other Girl…Avery…Aud—Aubrey! She noticed that Aubrey comes to the quad at exactly 3:03 PM in the afternoon, looks around for a free corner, and buries herself in books, and then leaves by 5:00 PM. Beca found it weird how precise her observation was. But it wasn’t till the next week, though, that Beca made use of this information.

It’s not like she actively waited to watch Aubrey look around the quad for free space—that was weird. It’s just that, for some unexplainable reason, it just catches her attention…Beca decided to ignore that maybe that was just as weird. It’s because I’ve already met Aubrey, she reasoned.

Anyway, Beca was having a pretty normal day, and she had expected the rest of the day to play out the same as it usually did. That is, up until Aubrey found herself a spot, and some guy rudely dumped his stuff at said spot.

Beca grinned, and unconsciously placed her headphones to her shoulders. The spot was relatively near her nook by the tree, and she found it amusing to watch the Bella verbally duke it out with the rude guy…and that was all she was going to do, really.

Except, the guy had shoved Aubrey off in his annoyance. And before Beca’s brain could catch up, she was already on her feet, smoothly shoving the guy back as she turned to Aubrey.

“Hey, Aubrey,” Beca gave her a rather friendly smirk, before she gave the rude guy her scariest glare. “I’m pretty sure whatever space this jerk and his stuff touched has already infested and rotted the grass it’s on—I’ve got a better spot.”

Beca reckoned that Aubrey was probably pretty much too shocked by her sudden appearance to have put on any resistance when Beca grabbed her books and made her way to her nook, expecting Aubrey to follow.

And she did.

“I didn’t need your help,” was the thanks Beca received. The brunette rolled her eyes as she sat down, and set Aubrey’s books on her side.

“I wasn’t helping you—I was saving the jerk you looked ready to murder.” Beca didn’t wait for the girl’s reply after that, as she put her headphones back on her ears, and hacked away at her laptop. When she felt that Aubrey hadn’t exactly moved, and began staring at her in the same way that she did in the activities fair (the same gaze that Beca had hated), Beca glared back.

Seriously, Beca’s spot was pretty good, and was spacious enough for the both of them. The shade was perfect, and people generally avoided the area because of Beca’s intimidating aura. If Other Girl didn’t appreciate the offer, she could just scram.

Aubrey didn’t scram.

She let out a huff before taking the spot beside Beca, and started reading her books. Neither of them conversed; they just went about what they usually did in the quad, and Aubrey left at 5:00 PM without a word.

The next day, Beca looked up to watch Aubrey make her way to the quad—like she said, it catches her attention (Beca hates that she gets defensive even in her own thoughts). But this time, Aubrey doesn’t look around. Instead, she meets Beca’s gaze, and Beca couldn’t help but smirk and cock her head to a side.

Even from the distance, she saw Aubrey roll her eyes, but Aubrey made her way towards Beca anyway. Aubrey sat down beside her, the way she had the day before. And just when Beca thinks that they’ll go about their own thing, Aubrey turned to her.

“Here,” she said, handing her a paper bag. She curiously opens it up, and is surprised to find some chocolate chip cookies. Beca had a sweet tooth—sue her. But then, she remembers the reason why she had cookies in her hands, and reins in her expression to a quizzical one.

This time, Aubrey turned away, and if Beca knew her any better, she would’ve thought Other Girl seemed embarrassed. “I noticed you usually had some kind of snack in the quad—thank you, for sharing your spot.”

Beca did not spend the next minute glancing back and forth from the cookies to Other Girl in shock. She did not happily thank and share the cookies with Other Girl. And she did not eagerly gobble up her share, as she not satisfyingly made her mixes in the quad. But like yesterday, neither of them talked after the initial conversation, and Aubrey left without a word.

So Beca had found herself a new rhythm. For the rest of the week, Aubrey would join her in the quad with a different batch of cookies they could share, and they’d go about their own things, before Aubrey left. Aubrey always left first. Beca liked to stay and wrung out every last daylight she could get.

It was nice. They don’t even talk anymore, unlike the first two days. But there was some form of contentment in sharing her space with Aubrey. Whatever.

“Hey, Stacie, do you remember the taller girl from the Barden Bellas Booth in the activities fair?”

Shit. The question flew out of Beca’s mouth before she could stop it.

The DJ knew the day wasn’t going to be a good one the moment she woke up two hours earlier than she usually did—if she hadn’t, then she wouldn’t have caught Stacie before she went to class; she couldn’t have asked the stupid question.

Stacie looked at her weirdly. “The blonde chick who called you a bitch? What about her?”

Blonde.

She wondered what blonde looked like. That was a question that Beca would find herself occupied in later, but for now, she had the predicament of trying to come up with a legitimate reason for randomly bringing up said blonde. (For some odd reason, Beca didn’t feel like sharing her quad time with Aubrey.)

Luckily, she was saved from answering by the door suddenly swinging open.

“Funny. This doesn’t look like your “Intro to Philosophy” class.”

She rolled her eyes, and Stacie smirked at her. They had taken bets when her father dearest would find out and confront Beca about her skipping class. Stacie had won.

“I’m posing an important philosophical question: If I don’t actually go to class, will that class still suck?”

Warren Mitchell looked at his daughter exasperatedly. “Okay, I know you’re mad at me. I get it. But I can’t just let you waste your life in this room while you fiddle around with technical equipment—”

“Jesus, I’m not wasting my life, I’m making music! Ugh—”

“—College is the transition period that prepares you for all the scary things life is going to throw at you. You create memories here. I see it every day. Beca, you’ve been here a month. Do you even have any friends?”

She throws him an exasperated look and points exaggeratingly at her roommate.

“Stacie doesn’t count.”

“Hey! Stacie is just here—and she resents that,” Stacie exclaimed.

Her father pinches the bridge of his nose, and sighs. “This is the time in your life to try some new things, explore—not fixate on this DJ thing.”

He folded his arms and looked his daughter in the eyes, mimicking the way she had addressed him a month before. “Look, Beca, just do something new. And if in a year, you still don’t want to be here, if you still want to try to be some big time music producer, then…you can quit college and I’ll help you move to LA just like I said.”

Beca’s eyes widened. “Whoa, whoa—just a year now? Seriously?”

“Yes, seriously.” Warren turned to leave, but stops to add, “But I need to really see it, Beca. You got to get out there. Make friends. Join in. This is college!”

She crashes down her bed and looks back and forth from the closed door and her roommate. “That really happened, right? I hold you as witness to that deal.”

Stacie just shook her head in amusement, as she fixed her bag for her class. “You should come audition with me for the Bellas. It’ll be fun! And if it sucks, at least you still get to hang out with me. So a lot of birds in one stone, ammiright?”

Beca was going to give her a remark about how lame that sounded, but said remark died on her lips when her thoughts crossed to Aubrey. “Sure,” was out of her lips before she could stop it.

Stacie did a double take, obviously not expecting such an easy reply. Or maybe, she was trying to figure out whether Beca meant it sarcastically. You never know with the DJ. Whatever it was though, Stacie didn’t have time for it. She had to be early if she wanted to sit beside the hot guy in class.

Slinging her bag over her arms, Stacie addressed her roommate one last time, “If you shower now, you might be able to catch up with your second class!”

“I’m bulletproof, nothing to lose, fire away, fire away…”

Beca continued humming as she picked up a stall to shower in and take her bathrobe off. She removed her gloves and gingerly placed it in the shower caddie she hung up.

“You can sing!!”

Jesus fucking Christ on a barbeque stick! Beca violently backed away from the sudden invader, and quickly tried to cover her bits with her loofa. Her mind suddenly flashed to the rape whistle she was given.

“How high does your belt go?”

“My what?!” Beca exclaimed, and she finally recognizes her intruder to be Blue Eyes.

“You have to audition for the Bellas!”

And then suddenly, the Blue Eyes’ blue eyes weren’t the only things that were grabbing her attention. “I can’t concentrate on anything you’re saying till you cover your junk!”

“Just consider it. One time we sang back up for Prince. His butt is so tiny, I can hold it with one hand.”

“Seriously, I am nude.”

“You were singing “Titanium” right?”

That made Beca pause, and a slightly patronizing smirk formed on her lips. She risked looking at her invader in the eyes. “You know David Guetta?”

“What, have I been living under a rock? That song is my jam…my lady jam.”

“That’s nice,” Beca whispered. Because no, anything else and she might have had to use the rape whistle. And at this point, if she did, she wouldn’t be sure who she would be whistling it for. And just fuck.

“Yeah it is! The song really builds—”

“Gross!”

“Will you sing it for me?”

“Ew! No! Get the hell out of here!” she said, the urgency in her voice rising. She tried to grab the shower curtain to cover herself up when it gets ripped out by her hand, and someone else enters the stall.

What the fuck was wrong with this university? Beca makes a mental reminder to thank the Barden Greeter who gave her the stupid rape whistle. Maybe this was punishment for not taking the whistle seriously?

“Chloe! We’re going to be late! Why haven’t you started showering y—”

Intruder number two turns out to be Aubrey. Of course, it was fucking Aubrey. Beca tries not to feel the panic rising. Oh God of Whistles, I apologize for not taking the rape whistle seriously. No dissing whistles anymore—I promise.

Fuck, this was just fucking perfect. A small part of Beca’s brain was arguing whether or not it was a relief that Aubrey was at least wearing a towel.

When Aubrey stares/glares at her this time, Beca is sure that the blonde was definitely dissecting and judging her soul. Blue eyes interrupts her thoughts (ehem, fears) though.

“Not for that reason! Look, I’m not leaving here until you sing so…”

Blue Eyes—Chloe’s declaration seemed like it was directed to both the blonde and the brunette.

“This is ridiculous!”

“But I can stand here all da~ay.”

She risked a glance at Aubrey, her eyes pleading for help. But the blonde was turned away from her. Her expression seemed to say, Seriously, Chloe?  But it didn’t really have an effect on intruder 1.

Beca turned her back to them, and moved even further to the corner of the wall. If she stayed any longer here, she was going to feel too trapped—which was bad. She was claustrophobic, and Beca could feel the panic slowly rising up in her belly.

She was naked, her hands were ungloved, and she felt utterly vulnerable. She was surprised that the panic was even taking its time.

Fuck it.

“I’m bulletproof, nothing to lose, fire away, fire away…”

Chloe harmonizes with her, “—Brick of shame take your aim, fire away, fire away…”

And to her surprise, Aubrey joins as if she couldn’t help herself. Some part of Beca was relieved to see that Aubrey’s expression seemed to be as shocked, overwhelmed and incredulous as hers was.

 “You shoot me down, but I won’t fall. I am titanium. You shoot me down but I won’t fall. I am titanium.”

They sounded awesome together. Honestly, it was eargasmic to Bec—aaand, now the wordings of her own thoughts have broken the moment she was sharing with the two naked and hot women who were each other’s fucking soulmates.

“Yeah, I’m pretty confident about all this,” Chloe said, motioning her body.

Beca blushed, and looked away as Aubrey narrowed her eyes at her. But she manages to mumble out a choked out, “You should be.”

Fucking Christ on a barbecue stick.

Chapter Text

Fast and easy.

That was how Chloe Beale loved. Chloe loved dogs from the first pup she saw. She loved music from probably the first note she heard as a child (her parents always told her music made parenting her infinitely easier). And she loved baking the first time she watched a cooking show.

So obviously, Chloe loves Beca’s voice the first time she heard it in the showers. And she loves it even more when she hears it during Bellas audition. It was no wonder that she found herself walking fast, trying to catch up with the brunette who had all but fled the moment she finished filling up the forms Aubrey had made Beca fill out.

 “Hey! Wait up!”

Beca finally stopped and turned towards her, and Chloe finds herself hating that she doesn’t know what blue looks like—the girl’s eyes were too black to be real, so it must be blue. It’s the only color she (and Bree) couldn’t see.

Chloe has never been frustrated about it like this before. Because why would she be? Her world was beautiful with all its reds and yellows, and every color in between them—her world was beautiful with Aubrey. And the lack of blue meant that somewhere around the world, there was someone who could even make that more beautiful.

(Aubrey’s views on their third soulmate may or may not be as optimistic. In fact, Chloe thinks Aubrey isn’t completely convinced that there’s a third one. Maybe they were really just color blind?)

But the feeling that surges up in her chest is undeniably frustration—and it’s over the fact that she couldn’t place a definitive color on the brunette’s eyes.

“Hey, dude, chill,” is Beca’s response to her, as Chloe tries to steady her breaths from all the chasing. Chloe grins at her, “I thought you were running away from me.”

Beca gives her this amused and incredulous smirk that Chloe reads as, seriously, where would I even run away to? The shower? It makes Chloe laugh until she notices the expectant look on the brunette’s face.

“I was wondering if you would get some coffee with me some time.”

This time, Beca drops her smirk and the expression on her face is bewilderment…and slight fear? “Uh, don’t you have a soulmate for that?”

Exactly. Chloe has a soulmate who the brunette spends time with every weekday of the week. And she cannot understand how Bree could spend hours with her without talking about anything! She’s absolutely brimming with curiosity about Beca.

So she exclaimed, “Not for that reason! You don’t really want me to try to convince you again, do you?” Chloe asks mischievously, and takes pride on the incoherent noise Beca sputters. And just because she couldn’t help herself, Chloe adds, “Besides, don’t you want to get to know me? That way you don’t have to call me as the ‘superhot naked girl I met in my shower’ in your head anymore.”

Chloe sends Aubrey a silent thank you for giving her the color red, because Chloe would never forget the absolute blush that creeps into the brunette’s face.

“I do NOT think of you like that in my head! And please don’t say that in public!!” Beca said defensively.

But Chloe just turns around, and starts to go on her way, as she shouts, “So coffee then! I’ll get your number from the signup sheet you gave Bree!”

They don’t really end up going out for coffee—well they did, but it turned out to be such a small part of their day, because Chloe learns that Beca hasn’t been around Barden at all. So she takes it upon herself to show the brunette to different places in town each time they met up—and yes, it was becoming a regular thing.

It was surprisingly easy to talk to her; Beca doesn’t judge. Also, Chloe likes talking. She likes sharing, and she likes how Beca listened, how Beca makes sure to do little things that tells Chloe she’s interested in whatever the redhead was babbling about.

Beca, however, does not talk as much Chloe does. But still, she thinks she’s found a lot for just three meetings. Beca wanted to go to LA instead of Barden, but her father convinced her to stay here. Beca’s been to a lot of places, because she likes travelling. And Beca doesn’t like talking about her family, or her soulmate.

Chloe thinks that if Aubrey died, she wouldn’t like talking about it either…but she also has this small doubt that maybe Beca’s soulmate isn’t really dead. Beca talks a lot about the girl she was with during the activities Fair—Stacie. Beca talks about Stacie a lot and fondly. Roommates is what Beca told her. And it may have been implied that Stacie loved sleeping around.

But Chloe knows that gloved hands could mean two things: a dead soulmate, or having a non-mutual soulmate (in other words, your soulmate’s soulmate isn’t you). Either way would suck for Beca, so Chloe doesn’t really comment on it. She wasn’t so insensitive as to just randomly bring up a person’s gloved hand.

The biggest reason why Chloe liked hanging out with the brunette was probably the fact that Beca seemed to love music more than she did—and that was saying something. That was also the reason why ‘showing Beca around Barden’ may as well have been just showing her around the different music shops in town. Also:

Beca owns a turn table!!!

She tells Aubrey as much, who in turn responded that she didn’t expect it from the brunette. The redhead rolled her eyes playfully, because, duh, how could you when you don’t even talk to each other, Bree?

But then, Aubrey comments on how often the ‘alt girl’ (her words, not Chloe’s) was cropping up in their conversations. Aubrey even teased her that the redhead might just be having a big crush on the brunette.

(She knows Aubrey was just teasing—neither of them were the jealous type.)

Still, she doesn’t understand why she acted so defensively to the insinuation. For serious, Chloe Beale was someone who falls slow and hard. Even when they found out that they were each other’s soulmates, Chloe spent the first chunk of their relationship unable to think of Aubrey as a lover—the line between friendly and intimate physical contact is quite blurred with the redhead.

 If anything, the redhead should be worried about her soulmate instead. Contrary to popular belief, Aubrey falls in love the same way Chloe loves—fast and easy.

In the future, Chloe would blame Aubrey’s lack of sharing for this (hot) mess.

Yes, Chloe had interacted more with Beca last week than Aubrey ever did, but no, Chloe did not notice the brunette’s aversion to touch. Beca never displayed them when they were together, and Chloe liked physical contact. So assuming such aversions would have been quite contradictory from her experiences of walking with the brunette with their arms chained together!

(Also in the future, Chloe will find out that it’s because Beca intentionally wears a lot of sleeves whenever she knew Chloe was going to be around.)

Anyway, tonight was Initiation Day and Hood Night. And they had saved kidnapping Beca and Stacie for last. They were roommates, so it’d be hard to stuff their heads in a sack with just one person.

It didn’t take long for Aubrey to convince Baker’s RA to lend the spare key to Beca and Stacie’s room.

The lights off made them worry though. According to their sources, neither of their recruits left the dormitory yet, so they should be here. Were they asleep? It would be easier if they were.

But Chloe doesn’t think people like Stacie would be sleeping in on a Friday night…she seemed like someone who slept with on Friday nights.

Whatever the case, there was only one way they were going to find out. She turned to look at her soulmate who took a deep breath and said, “Let’s do this, Chloe.”

Aubrey quietly opened the door, and they saw that neither of their occupants were asleep. The only things that lit the whole room were the laptops Stacie and Beca were using. Both of them had their backs to the door, the first wearing earphones and the latter with headphones.

Chloe grinned—this was going to be fun.

Aubrey turned to Stacie who looked like she was skyping someone (?). And the blonde expertly slugged the sack on the leggy brunette’s head, and ended the skype call in one motion.

“What the fsdmss!!@#”

Luckily, the commotion didn’t seem to stir Beca at all. And it was no wonder, since even from two feet away, Chloe could already hear the music from her headphones. She tried not to get distracted by the programs Beca was working with. Her whole table looked like something you’d see in a music studio or a DJ’s booth! She couldn’t help it, Chloe was curious by nature. She managed to focus enough though, and was just about to swivel Beca’s chair to make the brunette face her, but—Beca reacted.

It happened too fast.

One moment, Chloe was reaching out to Beca’s bare shoulder, and the next thing she knew, she was pinned to the wall, hands above her head, secured by Beca’s gloved hand.

Chloe was hyper aware of how the brunette’s legs trapped hers in between, and how close she was—her face was only a two inches away. Their eyes locked, and Beca’s were slightly glazed, and wide with emotion…a slight confusion, alarm—a lot of anger.

Beca was terrifying…and arousi—

“Get the aca-fuck away from her!”

The shrill shriek from Aubrey seemed to have snapped Beca out of whatever trance she was in, and then recognition was seeping through her gaze. Beca jumped off of her, as if Chloe was a boiling pot she’d accidentally brushed her hands on.

Beca was also slightly trembling.

“What the fuck is wrong with you guys?!”

This time it was Stacie. She must have gotten away from Aubrey’s hold, as the brunette quickly grabbed a bottle from her table. The little DJ relaxed almost immediately when Stacie held her, guiding her to sit on her bed and take a sip of water.

Stacie knelt on the floor in front of the brunette, and cupped Beca’s face so gently—Chloe almost looked away; it seemed too intimate. She felt like she was intruding on something important.

But Chloe couldn’t look away. There was some ugly feeling crawling up her chest, as she watched Stacie gingerly holding Beca’s cheeks, whispering things that seemed to sooth the DJ. The ugly feeling hadn’t allowed Chloe to do anything but watch.

Stacie kissed the DJ’s forehead, and they could see the smaller brunette completely relax. The ugly feeling doubled in her chest.

“What the hell was that?” Stacie demanded in a very cold voice.

Chloe’s decided that the ugly feeling was just guilt. (It certainly wasn’t. But guilt was definitely the overwhelming feeling right now). Aubrey moved towards them. She stopped though, when she reached Chloe, as if unsure whether or not any closer would be welcomed.  It was Aubrey who spoke first, “We’re so sorry.”

And then Aubrey started uncharacteristically ranting, each word is uttered faster than the one that came before. “It’s just that you two have been accepted as Bellas! Tonight is Initiation Night, and it’s a tradition to bring you guys with sacks over your heads, so that we can swear you into the group and bring you in for Hood Night. We really didn’t mean to be insensitive. It was a lacking on our part that we didn’t consider something like this might happen, and—”

“Didn’t know the Bellas was a sorority.”

All three pairs of eyes were turned to Beca who was wearing a smirk, as if she could possibly know that the statement she said was something that’d piss Aubrey off. But there was something soft in Beca’s eyes that was telling them she wasn’t mad, that it was okay. It was Chloe’s and Stacie’s turn to slightly slump their shoulders in relief…

…However, the statement Beca uttered was indeed something Aubrey would get absolutely pissed about.

“Aca-scuse me, bitch, we are not a sorority!”

Aubrey looked at the new Bellas joyfully gush as she announced their new status. She particularly kept an eye on the only one who wasn’t squealing—Beca.

Aubrey doesn’t really know what to think of her.

She respects the little midget, that’s for sure—she wouldn’t be able to spend two hours of silence beside the brunette if she didn’t. And Chloe seemed to be utterly fond with the hobbit. Her soulmate insists that Aubrey and Beca a lot in common more than she realized.

She doesn’t know what to think of that either. It’s been a while since someone’s had Chloe smitten as she was with the midget right now—Aubrey has long learned to accept that her soulmate has too much love and affection to be concentrated on just one person. And she knows that her soulmate wouldn’t ever be unfaithful to her. The two of them respect each other too much for that.

But Aubrey couldn’t help but feel there was something different this time. The redhead has met up with Beca for just three times, and each time the redhead seemed more hooked. And said times don’t even include the shower incident…which Aubrey tries even harder not to think about, because then she’d remember alt girl’s roaming eyes on her soulmate’s body. And she’ll be forced to question why she wasn’t pissed at the girl or at her soulmate’s encouraging—seriously, okay, Aubrey gets it, Chloe was hot. No one knows how hot the redhead was more than Aubrey, so she couldn’t blame either of them. But neither could the two of them blame her for not being okay with it.

 And Aubrey is trying her damn best not to dwell on the fact that she slightly was.

Jesus, at this point, between graduating, the Bellas, Beca, and Beca being in the Bellas, just the mention of the midget gave Aubrey a brain freeze. Beca was just so…just too alternative to the people she usually knows and understands. And as if everything else wasn’t enough, the moment alt girl opens her mouth, Aubrey’s patience flies out the window. She thinks that if she googled ‘Beca Mitchel,’ she would get a suggestion that says do you mean: infuriating.

Aubrey concludes that she likes Beca Mitchell the way she likes her coffee—silent.

“We did it.” Chloe naturally slides up beside her, and laces their hands together. The comfort that follows is something that Aubrey welcomed. But then, Fat Amy comes up to them, and grabs the chalice of Boone’s Farm and chugs it down with one gulp.

“Did we?”

Whatever the answer was, Aubrey left it to dust, as she led the group to the Hood Night party. She instructs them to soften the beach, and heads down to mingle with her fellow aca-people. She was determined to squeeze the Bellas’ 200% to get to the ICCAs, but tonight, before everything started, she would relax.

…except she couldn’t. Her eyes were glued once again to the alt girl, and the familiar irritation crept in her veins. Beca seemed to be too engaged in her conversation with the Treblemaker newbie.

“Whoa, I’m pretty sure that you’re eye-fucking one of them—my question is which one?”

Aubrey abruptly broke her gaze, and turned to the owner of the voice. She found it to be Stacie Conrad—another girl she didn’t know how to feel about. Not after watching the way she had held the alt girl in their room.

That memory brought on even more unwanted feelings than the shower incident, and Aubrey’s thoughts weren’t losing to the turmoil of feelings inside her either.

Stacie seemed like an alright kind of girl, if Aubrey ignored the rumors surrounding the freshman. From the sign-up sheet, she knows that Stacie was smart and responsible enough—she had to be if she was going to double degree Biomedical Engineering and Computer Science, and if she wanted to stay in said programs. Aubrey could respect that. But it’s her relationship with the alt girl that throws her off.

A month or so in the semester, Stacie had started randomly coming by the quad, just as Aubrey was starting to leave. The brunette had always casted her this odd and amused curious look, before she sat down and took Aubrey’s spot beside the DJ (which did not slightly annoy the blonde).

Aubrey liked to think that she was observant. But for all her observational skills, she couldn’t find enough to fit all the details together. For example, Aubrey is almost sure that Beca couldn’t see colors—which would explain the glove. But Aubrey also noticed that Beca and Stacie always wore a similar ring on their ears. It could almost pass off as a soulmate band—which didn’t make sense, with all the rumors going around Stacie. And although the alt girl’s glove has other implications, it wouldn’t at all fit with Aubrey’s theory on Beca’s vision. See? A headache—just like Aubrey said. And to make matters worse, Aubrey couldn’t place a finger on why she actually cared about all of it enough to give her a headache.

“Um, hello—earth to Aubrey? Did the mental image of getting it on with them fry your brain or something?”

Aubrey snapped back to the conversation, slightly embarrassed that she had zoned out. But never the less, she expertly picked up where they left off, “What are you talking about? Beca is clearly in danger of getting Treble-boned, and as captain, I’m keeping an eye on her.”

Stacie scoffed smugly in reply. “Then why aren’t you eye-fucking Kori over there,” Stacie said. And the blonde sharply turned to the new recruit’s direction. Sure enough, Kori seemed to be standing awfully close to Donald—and not further from her, she could eye Mary Elise obviously flirting with another Treble. Damn it.

Stacie touched her arm to grab her attention back, and when Aubrey met her eyes, all she saw was seriousness, seemingly done with their small talk.

“Look, I’m the last person who should question why you and your soulmate keep looking at Beca like you want to fuck her gently with a chainsaw—”

Aubrey’s face scrunched up, and her jaw dropped, “What in the world are you trying to insinu—”

“—but I will be the first person to decapitate your head and put it on a spike, if you and your soulmate think you can play your damn games with my best friend.”

The whole place seemed to get a lot colder after that. But Stacie wasn’t finished. “Beca’s told me about your weird little quad time, and Chloe’s little dates. I don’t even want to get started about how you two snuck up on us earlier. That’s why I need you to know that Beca chooses her friends very carefully, Aubrey, so she doesn’t get burned. Have the decency to fuck off, if you guys play with fire.”

There was a beat of silence between them.

And to be honest, Stacie’s speech was quite intimidating. But Aubrey was also feeling slightly and unfoundedly attacked. The things Stacie was insinuating were uncalled for, and true, Chloe can be painfully oblivious where physical boundaries are concerned, but her soulmate has always had the kindest intentions, even for people who never deserved it. And it was Beca who had reached out to her in the quad, not Aubrey. The following days that resulted from it seemed more like a business deal to Aubrey than anything: cookies for space.

Okay, the last thought did sound kind of ridiculous, but still. She and Chloe were not playing games with her, and they do not eye fuck the alt girl.

“Seriously, that’s what you’re going to say?”

What, did Aubrey say the last part out loud? She must’ve, because Stacie gestured towards where Beca was and Stacie’s face said, exhibit A.

Chloe had made her way towards the alt girl, and grabbed her hands, suddenly jerking the brunette to her face. If Aubrey didn’t have complete faith in her soulmate, from this angle, she would assume that they were making out. And then, Beca pulled away, and Chloe jiggled her butt before heading down towards them. See? Stacie’s lifted eyebrow told Aubrey.

“One last thing—an advice,” Stacie leaned down on Aubrey, whispering by her ear. “Beca never gets burned twice.”

But before the captain could make sense of it, music blares all over them. The whole party lights up and everyone gathers around in response. Stacie left her, just as Chloe arrived. “C’mon, Bree—let’s dance!”

Beca was drunk. And a drunker Stacie was going to kill her. They had agreed that Beca was going to be the sober one tonight.

But maybe, Stacie could just kill Jesse instead. It was the Treblemaker who kept on insisting that she needed to get to his level. And like Beca said, Jesse wasn’t too bad a company, so she had indulged him cup after cup…after cup.

Yeah, Beca wasn’t feeling too good. Luckily, she was able to spot her best friend dancing in the crowd with some random a capella douche. She may or may not have also seen Stacie with two heads. Whatever. “Jessee, I’m going to get Stacieee noow.”

The Treblemaker blinked, and then grinned dopily. “Hehe. Great idea, I’ll come too, but hold on.”

“WE ARE THE KINGS OF CAMPUS!”

Beca tried not to cringe as she made her way down with the treble pup trailing behind. It took a lot of stumbling down, and it didn’t help that the ground seemed to be changing slope by the minute. But sure enough, she managed to tumble towards her best friend, and effectively shoved whoever Stacie was dancing with to the floor.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!”

Oops. Beca giggled. “Ah-oh, Stacie definitely won’t be sleeping with you now.” And then, the DJ looked down at the tent in the dude’s pants that was obviously showing. “But then again, I doubt she was going to do anything at all with a junior like that in your pants.”

Then things got blurry after that. All Beca remembered, was the junior dude charging at her, and Stacie holding him back. Beca may or may not have puked at junior dude’s shoes while Jesse held her hair up. And everything went black.

But when she woke up, it was anything but.

Chapter Text

As much as Beca tried her best to make sure she never met her soulmate, she couldn’t deny that there were times she found herself imagining the different scenarios that could play out when she inevitably failed to. But none of the scenarios ever came close to this: waking up with a raging headache in some stranger’s apartment, only to faint when she registers that the apartment was in anything but blue.

Beca fainted twice.

The third time she wakes up, the hell of a headache does nothing to distract the panic that surges within her whole being. She bolted off the bed, and it’s only then that she realized she wasn’t alone. In her haste, she knocked the other occupant to the floor with a resounding thud.

Beca ignores the outcry, and runs off to the first door she runs into, hoping it was the exit—it wasn’t. The room she walked into turned out to be a bathroom. It was a consolation price; the bathroom was in all white and black tiles, white and black walls.

“Beca? What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

So the bed’s other occupant turned out to be Stacie. Relief floods through Beca’s system, which wasn’t what she really needed right now. Relief made her put her guard down and let the panic hit her in full force not a moment later.

“Beca, what’s going on?”

“Nothing is blue!” is all she shouted with a whimper escaping. Beca doesn’t know how long Stacie banged on the door, before resorting to opening it by force—not that the DJ had the presence of mind to lock it anyway.

Even with her eyes shut, the DJ could feel Stacie’s eyes going back and forth between her and the road. On a normal day, Beca would be worried; Stacie wasn’t the best driver to begin with. But right now, she had more important things to do than worry about her best friend’s driving. Namely, trying to figure out how to shut her brain down as easy as she was shutting her eyes.

They stopped by a convenience store. Bless Stacie for thinking of buying blue tinted shades; it was only then that Beca opened her eyes again. Soul Shades were meant to be used for soulmates who just found each other, and find all the colors overwhelming. The tint of their choosing would slowly fade over time, easing the users into the new colors about them. Beca is relieved to think she still has a couple of hours to cling to her perfectly blue world.

“Sooo,” Stacie said cautiously. The DJ sighed, knowing that she couldn’t put this off any longer.

“What happened?” Beca asked, at the same time Stacie said, “Who is it?”

One could’ve heard a pin being dropped from a mile away. The two brunettes gave each other incredulous stares, although the DJ’s unbelieving gaze seemed more strained. This time, Stacie stopped the car, and parked them on the side of the road.

She casted a concerned look at the smaller girl, gaging her up. But to Stacie’s surprise, it was the DJ who initiated the conversation. Beca blurted out—almost demanded in panic, tinged with a slight sense of helplessness. “What happened last night, Stacie?”

Stacie pinched the bridge of her nose. “What do you even remember?”

A headache shot through Beca as she tried to recall. “A guy with a small dick? I don’t know, Stace…I remember puking, and Jesse holding my hair up? I—”

“—Shit, it’s the treble boy?!”

Beca’s eyebrows met in frustration. It couldn’t be Jesse. She could still remember puking her guts out in different shades of blues. Vomit wasn’t supposed to be in shades of blues, was it? Beca’s headache was getting more prominent now, and she could feel the dread slowly creep up inside her. It was going to eat her inside.

“Stace, just tell me what happened,” she said. “That apartment, where did we end up in? How? Who touched me last night? Please, just tell me.”

Stacie looked like she ate a pack of nails and it got stuck on hear throat. This time and despite being parked, the engineering student’s eyes were overly glued to the road. “I…I-I’m not sure.”

The DJ tried to quell the anger brewing inside her, “What do you mean you’re not sure?” She demanded. She saw Stacie visibly gulp, but the driver didn’t reply. Beca tried again, her voice was steely and demanding, “Stacie. What. Aren’t. You. Telling. Me.”

Stacie cringed, “You passed out. And I wasn’t sober enough to walk us back to our car, let alone drive us to dorm; neither was Jesse. And then…”

“And then?”

“Beca, I don’t know. I’m sorry, but I don’t…”

“Stacie,” Beca hissed at her best friend’s hesitance. Air suddenly seemed like poison to her, and she wanted someone to just violently rip out the proverbial band aid to get it over with.

Stacie choked out, “Aubrey rushed over to see the commotion—she caught you just before you passed out head first to the ground. She got our car keys, insisted to drive us back to their apartment, because it was nearer, ‘safer that way.’”

Beca stared at Stacie like a gaping fish. Some part of her kept waiting for the double major to suddenly just shout ‘Kidding!’ A part of her has been waiting for some higher being to pause her life since she woke up with colors screaming at her face.

Neither Stacie nor a higher being did any of those. So Beca did the only thing she could do. She continued gaping at her best friend and said, so softly, so brokenly, “Aubrey.”

Stacie’s face hardened as a reaction, and Beca’s eyes narrowed. “What else are you not telling me?” Beca demanded. And suddenly, Beca was eager for the possibility that someone else was involved. Someone—anyone besides Aubrey. Beca felt hope—

The engineering student bit her lip, as if she could possibly imagine the pain her words would bring the DJ. “I passed out the moment they put me in bed—I’m so sorry…but I remember Chloe saying she’d clean up the vomit on your face first.”

—less. Hopeless.

 “Okay,” the DJ says, her tone almost hysterically. “What else happened?”

Stacie looked away, shaking her head. And it took Beca a full minute to comprehend what the shaking of her head meant.

Aubrey. Chloe. Aubrey. Chloe. Aubrey. Chloe. Aubrey. Chloe. Aubrey. Chloe. Aubrey. Chloe.

“No,” she began. “No, no—you’re not allowed to do that. There has to be something else that happened, right?” There’s got to be someone else that happened to come along.

Stacie’s silence was deafening.

And Beca’s world caved in…As much as she found herself imagining the different scenarios of meeting her soulmate, she was still adamant about wanting to never meet hers. Because, she refused to allow a stranger to give her color, to fuck up her life with yellows and reds, only to drain it out of her when they leave—that’s why she developed a very strong aversion and awareness to people’s touches.

And she absolutely refuses to give someone’s life color—she is repulsed to be the color in someone’s life. She is utterly horrified of needing to be the color in someone’s life, only to take it back, when she inevitably fails to be what they need—that’s why she started wearing gloves. The gloves.

Just when Stacie was starting to worry about the silence, Beca starts laughing. Hysterically. “The gloves!” she exclaimed. “My gloves were supposed to make soulmates a joke—but all this time, the joke was on me, wasn’t it?”

“You’re leaving.”

It wasn’t a question. And if something could be said flatly and disbelievingly so at the same time, Stacie had in that moment. The engineering student had only left the brunette to park their stupid car, but she’s already found the DJ half-way through packing her stuff.

Beca laughed bitterly, “Do you honestly expect me to stay?”

Stacie cringed. Yes, she had expected this. Stacie, however, wasn’t sure whether or not leaving just like that was particularly the right answer to the fucked-up situation her best friend has found herself in. But then again, Stacie had no idea what Beca needed the most right now either.

“I’ll book us the earliest flight out of here, if you…really want to leave,” is what Stacie ends up saying. But the way she said it was…odd. It made Beca abruptly stop her haste-packing, and look at her suspiciously.

Beca was very familiar with the tone that Stacie had used. She uses the same tone whenever her best friend felt like she knew something better than the DJ did. It was the same tone that got her to consider her father’s offer at Barden in the first place. She narrowed her eyes, “Stacie, what are you trying to say?”

And where was the leggy brunette getting at exactly? Right now, Beca’s brain has reduced this entire mess to a very simple situation: she found her soulmate without finding out her soulmate. It was perfect for her, actually!

Whether it was Aubrey or Chloe, it didn’t matter anymore. Beca was under no obligation to be under some stranger’s expectations for said stranger’s needs. And she wouldn’t have to feel guilty about leaving anyone behind because her soulmate had someone else. Wasn’t that what she wanted in the first place?  She was free.

And hallow.

“So you don’t want to figure out which of them it is?” Stacie asked carefully. Beca snorted, and replied snarky, “It doesn’t really matter who’s which, isn’t it? It doesn’t really matter at all, and I don’t believe in soulmates, remember? I don’t care.”

Stacie continued to stare at her as the DJ proceeded to pack all the necessary things she’d need. She could feel the heaviness of her best friend’s gaze. “If that’s true, then why are you hell bent on getting out of here as fast as you can? If you really don’t care, then why does it look like you’re running away with your tail tuck between your legs?”

For the second time today, Beca found herself abruptly stopping her actions. The fucker was right.

Why was she so in a hurry to leave? A headache shot through her like some kind of jolt. Fucking devil, her actions, thoughts and feelings were contradicting each other—none of it was making sense even to Beca herself. It’s in this moment that she allows herself to sink into her bed.

Aubrey. Chloe. Aubrey. Chloe. Aubrey. Chloe. Aubrey. Chloe.

Did it really not matter?

Yes, it really didn’t. And although Beca could never have expected all of this to happen the way it did, she couldn’t deny that this should have made things easier for her. So why did she just hysterically start packing her bags with every intent to leave?

“You’re scared,” Stacie said softly. Still, it jolted Beca out of her reverie, and she shot the future engineer a glare…that melted. The DJ couldn’t really find it in her to defensively push Stacie away. Not with the rest of the emotional turmoil she felt. So instead, Beca’s gaze was a juxtaposition of challenge, bewilderment, and deflation. “What in the world would I be scared—”

“Scared that you’re wrong. You’re scared that if you stay, you’ll start questioning yourself and your beliefs. You’re actually happy that you don’t know which of them is it, aren’t you? And you’re scared that if you stay, you’ll find out who.”

Beca blanched. Sometimes, she hated how smart and perceptive Stacie was. She hated how well Stacie knew her too. Now was one of those times. And if the DJ was going to be honest with herself, she was also jealous of how much Stacie understands Beca’s thought process—sometimes better than she did herself.

“But the thing about finding out is that it’ll make you want to know more, won’t it, Beca? You’re afraid you won’t be able to stop wanting more even when it forces you to actually face the unrequitedness of it all—and you’re afraid that when you do, it’ll hurt.”

Utter silence. For a moment, Stacie was convinced that she said too much. That is until she watched the series of emotions flash through Beca’s face. First was the shock, then disbelief, a flash of anger, and then denial, “Dude, no! I fucking told you. It doesn’t matter who the hell it is, and damn you, the hell will it matter if I find out who!”

Stacie smiled so sweetly and innocently, you’d think she was a child who just got promised a cookie past midnight.

“Perfect, so that means you’ll stay.” This time, the innocent smile turned into a triumphant smirk as Stacie kissed Beca’s cheek, and began unpacking the luggage Beca had brought out.

Beca’s mouth was left hanging open for the rest of the night.

Chloe was guilty she wasn’t putting her 100% attention to the meeting, but then again, she was also quite content to allow her soulmate to mostly take over the Bella’s first meet up, because she knows how important this and the sense of control over all the things Aubrey held important was to the blonde. Chloe’s just going to have to make it up to Aubrey later tonight with a wonderful stay-in date to help her relax.

For now, Chloe’s thoughts were on something—someone else. She worried over the two brunettes who had crashed in their apartment last night. Okay fine, she was worried about one brunette, in particular. In Chloe’s defense, the little DJ did puke her guts out and promptly pass out after last night. Not to mention that both brunettes suddenly disappeared this morning with only a note that said thanks xoxo. Despite the scrawny hand writing, the redhead doubted Beca was someone who ended notes with x’s and o’s.

Speak of the devil. “Dude, Mary Elise just passed by us bawling her eyes out.”

Chloe finds herself smiling widely as the two brunettes entered the auditorium and pulled up their seats. The smile, however, wavers as she observes that the shorter brunette seemed a little…edgy…her eyes seemed to be darting everywhere.

Aubrey’s voice snaps her out of her thoughts. “You’re late, and Mary Elise has been disinvited from the Bellas, because of having been Treble-boned.”

“That oath was serious?”

Chloe tries not to look too amused with the exchanged that went on. Aubrey doesn’t need her exuberantly jolly mode. Like she said, the redhead knows how important first meetings are for Aubrey, and Chloe is sure Bree would appreciate a more soothing presence from her.

Beca doesn’t help make it easier.

Honestly, the easy (and slightly provoking) banter between the two of them makes Chloe even more disbelieving of the supposed silences the two share during the weekdays. But then again, Chloe didn’t expect Beca to keep challenging her soulmate’s words today as often as she did. It was like Beca was purposefully trying to egg the blonde even more so than usual.

In fact, Beca seemed…off today. She didn’t fail to notice how tense the brunette was. And besides the few times she smirked at Aubrey, Beca seemed to be trying to avoid eye contact with anyone. It made Chloe slightly worried. Did they leave early and arrive late because something happened?

Although, Stacie didn’t seem to be too off.

While further observation would prove that Beca was slightly acting like a caged animal, Stacie looked sharp and on high alert. Chloe had to give it to her, the leggy brunette was a good actor and was feigning nonchalance quite well. She had looked at Aubrey with such an innocent and inquisitive expression before saying, “You said scales and then something about spaghettios?”

Aubrey groans, “Arpeggios. God help me.”

That was Chloe’s cue to assign herself to Stacie for the exercises, even if she had wanted to be assigned to Beca instead—Chloe was very much invested on getting to know the DJ better. Beca was too interesting for the redhead not to be. Even just remembering how Beca drunkenly called some random guy’s junk small last night before puking on him made Chloe want to giggle at the silliness of it all.

A part of Chloe regrets choosing Stacie over Beca even more as they go along the practice. For one, she could hear Aubrey and Beca bantering it out every now and then. The redhead’s slightly afraid one of the two might murder the other, at this rate. But more than that, she noticed Stacie casting her the oddest of glances that the redhead couldn’t decipher for the life of her. When she couldn’t take it anymore, she decided to start a conversation.

“Have to say, Aubrey and I didn’t think you had it in you guys to wake up that early in the morning, let alone be capable enough to move, and be late.” Chloe said, joking.

Stacie laughed, as if trying to shake off the unease she was feeling. The laugh seemed to have attracted Beca’s attention, since the DJ casted a questioning glance their way. That’s another thing Chloe noticed today. The two brunettes seemed to be hovering each other, and while Chloe had understood that they were quite close, this was the first time they acted like this, almost as if they were…protective of each other?

“It’ll take more than that to have us down that long. Thanks, again for last night,” she says wiggling her eyebrows as to make the last statement sexual.

By the time practice was over, everyone was dog tired. A soft smile graced Chloe’s lips as she noticed Aubrey satisfyingly smirking at all the sweating and panting Bellas. After some last announcements, the Bellas left one by one, leaving Chloe and Aubrey to clean up the auditorium. And just when they thought everyone had left, Stacie had shoved Beca towards the two captains. Aubrey raised an eyebrow.

“I, er, um, thanks? For last night sleeping the car—”

Uh, what?

Stacie elbowed her tiny counterpart, and the little DJ awkwardly cleared her throat and tried again. “We wanted to say thanks for driving us back to your apartment and letting us sleep for the night.”

Chloe beamed at her. The DJ couldn’t get more adorable than this. And although Aubrey’s lifted eyebrow seemed to suggest otherwise, there was a hint of amusement twinkling in her eyes. If anything, Aubrey seemed to be stretching the silence between them just to see the brunette squirm a bit more. Chloe mentally shakes her head at the two of them, and decides to intervene.

“No problem, Becs! We’re your captains after all,” Chloe chirped. The DJ raised her eyebrows at the sudden nickname, and there was something slightly sickening with the way Stacie were watching them with amusement.

The leggy brunette smirked at them (with a twinkle in the eye as if she knew something that the three of them were missing), and said, “Well, if there’s something we can do to return the favor—especially since we left so suddenly, let us know.”

“Sure—”

“Actually, why did you two leave so early, and still came up late?”

It was Aubrey who asked, and for some reason, the two brunette’s stiffened. Chloe couldn’t place where the sudden tension came from. Beca seemed frozen on the spot.

“We had errands to run downtown. We stopped by Jean’s to grab a bite, and we kind of got stuck in traffic on our way back.”

Chloe smiled wider, “Jean’s, as in the café beside the Color Assimilation Institute? Oh! Bree, it’s been so long since we went back to the museum in CAI. We ate at Jean’s often too, when we went there for our color assimilation sessions, didn’t we?”

An uncommonly soft smile presented itself on Aubrey’s place, as the blond felt a little bit nostalgic. Neither of the two captains noticed Beca’s eye twitch at the blatant implication of their soulmate ship, nor did they see the apologetic glance Stacie casted her friend.

Beca forced a smile, “So, yeah, sorry about that. We’ll try not to be late again, next time.”

Stacie threw an arm around Beca’s shoulder, slightly leaning towards them. She looked at them with a flirty smile, and a glint her eyes, saying, “Throw us a text, and we’ll return the favor.” She then promptly dragged the tiny brunette out of the auditorium.

Chloe turned to her soulmate, and gazed at her imploringly. She was silently questioning whether Aubrey also felt confusingly intrigued about the two brunettes who just left, and whether she too could feel this odd kind of pull to get to know the smaller one better.

Chapter Text

[Blue Eyes]: Think im gonna $$ in the favor !!!

Beca’s hands twitched. She was tempted to grab the car keys and go for a drive. It was something she often did to clear her head, and something that seemed to be happening whenever she interacted with a certain blonde and a certain redhead. Beca sighed.

[miniDJ]: Huh. What d’you need?

She decided against taking a drive. She’s sure that if she went on one more spontaneous ride this week, the leggy brunette will demand they buy another car, instead of sharing one. But it’s not like Beca could help it.

Beca groaned. The more time she spends in college, the more she questioned what she was doing with her life here in Barden. Yes, it was Stacie who ultimately convinced her to take up her father’s offer, who convinced her of the benefits of attending. And Barden was supposed to be about that. Acquiring benefits that would help her become an even better music producer in the long run. Just that.

She doesn’t want to acknowledge how easy it could become more than that. Mostly, it’s because she honestly couldn’t comprehend how she was capable of caring about more things (and people) outside of Stacie, Brand and her dreams. She’s already patronized and spoiled herself enough by biting at the first excuse she gets to spend more time by Stacie’s side.

She doesn’t want to think about how endearing the Bella’s were becoming to her. Seriously, how does one endear herself to another by randomly stealing $20 from the other? She was sure it was Fat Amy. And she was also sure Cynthia Rose and Denise had seen her in one of her DJ gigs, and had been giving her these knowing looks since then. She definitely tries not to think too hard about some of the things she heard from Lily Nakamura. And she also doesn’t know why she cares enough to be embarrassed that she can’t tell Jessica and Ashley apart. Heck, if she was being generously honest, she’d admit that she was starting to warm up to the treble pup from her internship.

[Blue Eyes]: Bree bailed on fri movie nyt. Fill in for her ???

Ah, and of course, the Bella’s captains. It’s mortifying how much she thinks about them—especially the redhead. It’s even more messed up that one of them may or may not be her unrequited soulmate…that she didn’t care about.

[miniDJ]: Dude, Stace owes you a favor too. Get her to do it.

Beca’s been trying her best not to let it drive her insane. The first few weeks were horrible. And Chloe had enjoyed teasing and pointing it out whenever she caught the DJ staring at the redhead’s hair or her eyes. Beca doesn’t even want to think about how judging Aubrey’s eyes were on the times the blonde had caught her staring at El Capitan’s hair and eyes too. But Taco Bell be damned, she can’t seem to deny herself the amazement of the colors whichever of them had given her. And sweet Jesus did the colors look good on them. She’s gotten better at controlling the staring, though.

But still, everything feels like bullshit really, and it’s that belief of bullshittery that had allowed Beca to finally interact normally with the two captains. Beca knows Stacie would disagree with her, both about its bullshitness, and about Beca’s interaction being anywhere near “normal” or “smooth.”

Although not generally a sappy person, Stacie believes that a soulmate is someone who has the greatest potential to change you. She believes that they’re the people who would help you grow the most (there’s a height joke in there somewhere, Beca was sure), and that their presence doesn’t necessarily need to be romantic—they’re just someone who you need to be a part of your life.

(It’s probably that thinking that gets in the way of any progress in Stacie and Brand’s relationship…that and Brand’s own set of issues. But Beca doesn’t want to get into that. God knows what a mess her involvement in it has made of their relationship already.)

So, yeah, Stacie believes in all that crap, which is why said brunette approves of how much Beca seemed to be spending time with the redhead and the blonde. Honestly though, it’s not like she has much of a choice. Blue Eyes often bulldozes her way into Beca’s schedule. And the DJ still doesn’t understand her hyperawareness for El Capitan’s presence.

Honestly though, what really gets to her is the amount of care she seems to have involving those two. And involving the Bellas for that matter. Beca is damn afraid of caring—she doesn’t know if she’s capable of caring more. She’s afraid that if she did, she’s not going to have enough space for her dreams. Caring is a distraction. More than that, it’s begging for hurt.

[Blue Eyes]: Whut, do u not like movies or something? Bree already used our favor from Stacie :( :( :( Please??

[miniDJ]:  uh, nope. I really don’t…can’t you find someone else then?

[Blue Eyes]: LOL. Somehow that actually fits u. Fyn. Not movies. Let’s do smthng other thn movies.

[Blue Eyes]: WAIT A MINUTE !!!

[Blue Eyes]: DOES THAT MEAN YOU ALSO DON’T LIKE MUSICALS???? O.o O.o X.x

[Blue Eyes]:  REPLY ASAP

[Blue Eyes]: THIS IS IMPORTANT

[miniDJ]: tf, Chloe? I don’t know, I’ve never really watched one, to be honest.

[Blue Eyes]: I DON’T KNOW IF THAT’S ANY BETTER. I KNOW WHAT WE’RE GONNA DO ON FRI.

[Blue Eyes]: AND YOU CAN’T SAY NO TO ME :3

And truly, that too was one of the things Beca feared the most.

oOo

For a moment, Aubrey forgets the gut churning feeling in her stomach, and the heavy burden she feels on her shoulders. She’s suddenly glad that a couple of junior Bellas had owed her a favor—specifically, she was glad that Stacie Conrad had owed her a favor. Not that Stacie seemed to be minding at the minute. No, the engineering student seemed to be gracefully at ease as she interacted with the people in the party.

[ChloBear]: Beca is totes eating d musicals up XD. Hope ur at least hving fun :*

Her peace and relief is shattered with guilt as the blonde reads her soulmate’s text. Tonight was supposed to be Friday Movie Night. And she called it off for the second time in a row; this time, it was for this stuck up party of Barden’s Students of Honor and Excellence. Aubrey would like nothing more than to have her redhead all gathered up in their arms, basking in the comfort the blonde is capable of giving her soulmate. But this was the first of the two major gatherings of SHE, an honor society necessary to Aubrey’s future connections and her father’s approval.

Which led her to asking Stacie Conrad for a favor. To be honest, Aubrey is barely making time for everything she needs to do. She’s one of the candidates for college valedictorian, so a lot was riding up on this semester. Not to mention the Bellas.

This year’s Bellas was supposed to be for Chloe, because the blonde knows how much her soulmate loved the Bellas. All through their junior year, Aubrey had promised her lover that she would fill up the family Chloe sees in the Bellas and make this year her best a capella season the redhead has ever had…but then pukegate happened. And Aubrey has no idea how to come through with said promise, while redeeming her dignity—another necessary thing for her father’s approval.

Between everything going on, Aubrey had absolutely no time to find a recruit for the SHE society. And that would’ve made her more of a laughing stock if she hadn’t found an outstanding recruit in her senior year, of all years. Dios mio, bless Stacie Conrad’s soul.

“Lord, your people are seriously intense, Aubrey,” Stacie comments as she slides down to the chair beside the blonde, and takes a sip of wine.

Aubrey raised an eyebrow, “You seemed to be doing well, as far as I could tell.”

The brunette just shook her head and laugh. “No, I mean, they’re pretty passionate about their fields—that I can relate. But all these social networking necessities they play with each other—now, that’s what I’m calling intense.”

It was Aubrey’s turn to laugh, “Kind of why I needed this favor.”

Before Stacie could respond, her phone vibrated. The blonde watched the brunette’s eyes lit up as she read a text and tried to suppress a chuckle. Aubrey wonders who could put a smile like that on her.

“Sorry, that was Beca. Looks like she’s enjoying whatever your redhead prepared for her tonight,” she explained, and Aubrey tries her best to excuse her junior’s habit of seemingly sexualizing everything she says.

Aubrey also tried to ignore the fact that it was the hobbit who was making up for Aubrey’s lack of time. She knew all too well just how much Chloe seemed to enjoy the hobbit’s company and how often the redhead tries to find it. And Aubrey didn’t like how accepting she found herself of that fact…was she though? The thought of it acts like some kind of slap in the face that Aubrey is failing to balance her life, to balance her responsibilities and her soulmate’s happiness. Again, she also didn’t like all the questions that the thought of Beca brings—and speaking of questions about the alt girl. Aubrey wasn’t one to pass up an opportunity to satiate her curiosity. So as nonchalantly as possible she said, “Yes, I guess exchanging soulmates with each other for one night, didn’t turn out too bad.”

The reaction was immediate.

Stacie seemed to have almost choked on her wine, her eyes slightly widened. The brunette laughed, but the way she looked at Aubrey told the blonde that her junior was slightly on to her. “Yeeaaaah, just noo. Beca and I are not soulmates. Whatever gave you that idea, Aubrey?”

The blonde tried to look sheepish, “Sorry, it’s just that I noticed one earring that Beca uses never changes? It kind of looks the one you always use. I thought it might be bands. And since you’ve always seemed protective of her...” from us, is what Aubrey didn’t add.

To be fair, Aubrey and Stacie have been getting along well this past few weeks. They haven’t had anything close to an argument since Stacie and Beca had arrived late to the Bella practice. And to her pleasure, the two brunettes haven’t really been late since.

There had been a new development, though.

Ever since their first practice, she had noticed that the alt girl had started watching? Staring? Gazing at Aubrey and Chloe often. And she had caught Stacie watching the alt girl watch them…Aubrey chalks it up to the fact that Chloe’s been spending a lot of time with the brunette.

Beca has been the topic of their conversations frequently. One of the most common subject would be about Beca’s refusal to let the redhead hear her mixes, and the hobbit’s violent protectiveness over her headphones. Aubrey doesn’t think Beca could find a way to be more alt than she already was.

So Aubrey assumes that Chloe also talks Beca’s ears off about them. And just maybe, that’s why Beca gazes had been awfully and obviously laced with some sort of curiosity…and another emotion that Aubrey couldn’t quite place.

Whatever the case, Aubrey at least had found out one thing: she had been mistaken. Beca and Stacie could see colors for sure—which leads back to the conversation at hand.

Stacie threw her a skeptical look before relaxing. “Well, you’re right on one account. They’re definitely bands—but no, Beca’s not mine,” is the brunette’s reply, and Aubrey wondered whether she actually saw a hint of wistfulness to her response, or maybe she was just reading too much at the softness of her junior’s eyes. “We’re just close—have always been close, I guess. She’s family.”

There was a finality to her tone, and Aubrey knew she would be uncomfortable to say more, so their conversation went elsewhere. It wasn’t hard. The brunette was good at keeping the conversation going, and both girls seemed surprised to find themselves liking each other’s company. Aubrey felt she could be good friends with the girl.

oOo

Stacie was becoming good friends with Aubrey Posen, and Beca wants to kill the brunette for it. Okay, fine, she knows that it can’t be help, given that her best friend had apparently been recruited to El Capitan’s prissy org, and Stacie happened to take a liking to said org. But still, seriously? Stacie was smart AF; surely, there were countless others who could have taken notice and recruited her instead. Couldn’t it have been anyone that isn’t Aubrey? She returned her favor, she says. Beca scoffed.

Oh how the universe took pleasure in mocking her. How was she supposed to avoid caring about anything to do with the two of them, when she seemed to have become a magnet for the redhead, and her best friend randomly talks about the blonde?

For shit’s sake. She can’t even be at peace in the fucking quad, anymore. Not since Stacie had oh-so casually dropped, “Aubrey actually seemed more stress lately. Seriously, even more than usual.” As if Beca didn’t have some kind automatic unexplainable hyperawareness about the blonde already. And you know what? She’s spent the whole week witnessing said stress levels from the blonde, and Beca is so done with it. So speaking of being done with it—

“Hey!”

And that was all the blonde was able to yelp in surprise over a sudden pair of headphones being placed over her ears. Because before she could say anymore, a piece of cookie was shoved in her mouth, and as she was about to protest and take it out, some kind of tumbler was shoved to her hands.

“Dude, you’ve been, like, fucking stressing over that same five fucking chapters of the same fucking book for the past five fucking days. And you don’t take your usual five fucking minute breaks—and just, damn you, I can seriously feel all the tension radiating off you! I mean, listen to the shit I’ve been mixing! Angst! So much fucking angst! And just—shit, just. Take a break, will you?”

Beca word vomited, and she wish the earth would swallow her up, because she was sure El Capitan was just about to spit the cookie she just shoved in her mouth back to Beca’s face and pour the contents of the tumbler all over her. But since the DJ was gonna die anyway, might as well word vomit the rest of the things that was on the tip on her tongue.

Her fingers fumbled over her laptop and she changed the angst-ridden music playing over Aubrey’s ears into something she just knows would appeal to the blonde’s taste better, and she sighs a bit as she sees Aubrey slightly relax, before gingerly placing the bottle on the ground, and chewing the cookie. When the blond was finished, she started, “I’ll apologize if I was disturbing—”

“Jesus, you still missed the point. You,” Beca began again, steely eyes met Aubrey’s green ones—and God knows how often the blonde’s (and the redhead’s) eyes blow Beca away—but yeah, no, she can’t get distracted by her eyes (which was just slightly lighter than Stacie’s—stop it, Mitchell) right now, because she was trying to make a point. She pointed her finger to her Bella’s captain. “are going to stop forgetting your five fucking minute breaks, and eat the damn cookies Chloe makes us while you take sips of that stupid coffee goodness—yes goodness. I know how much you need the coffee to operate the god damn stick up your ass. So you will fucking spend those five minutes listening to my God-sent music till the stick up your ass crawls out, before burying yourself back to those five chapters that I’m pretty convinced you’ve memorized by now—I mean, I know it’s prelims, but seriously! Dude, you’re wearing yourself out, and Stacie knows, and Chloe knows, and I’ve been seeing it every single fucking day.”

Beca actually huffs when she’s done, and she sends out a random curse to her father. She had inherited his pale nature, and it’s her paleness that makes it easy to see the red creeping into Beca’s cheeks. In the future, she’ll say it was due to out of breath. But really, she was just too embarrassed about her sudden outburst.

A moment passed as Aubrey stared incredulously at the little hobbit in front of her blushing away with a scowl in her face, looking everywhere but back at the blonde. Beca wanted to bang her head on her laptop, when the captain responded. “I don’t think there was a sentence there without at least a cuss in it.”

Seriously, woman? That’s what she got from everything I said?

oOo

And of course, Stacie finds the story hilarious. Beca tells her about it when the brunette found folders named “Chloe” and “Aubrey” in the DJ’s laptop, and Beca had to use all her power and might to grab her precious laptop before the tall brunette opened any of the files inside. And worse, Beca found out why Stacie and her brother have been overly interested in her interactions with the redhead and the blonde. All those Skype calls spent on dissecting the time Beca spent with the two potential soulmate finally made sense.

“You made a bet about which of them was my soulmate?!”

Stacie squeaked, “It was Brand’s idea!”

Beca crossed her arms, “Funny how my brother said the same thing the other way around.”

Stacie snorted, “Oh, c’mon, you know how much we like placing bets on things we’ll most likely never find answers on.”

Ouch. Okay, for some reason that just pissed Beca off more. But then again, they actually do make stupid bets like that. Beca thought back on their ongoing bet about Beca’s height…Damn it, everything was just starting to piss her off.

Beca’s face scrunched up, as she demanded, “At least tell me who you betted on?”

And Stacie got this mischievous look on her face, “Why do you ca~are?”

But Beca just looked at her unamused—too curious to be patient about Stacie’s teasing. Stacie often won bets (and Brand was a sore loser: making bets they’ll never know the answer to seemed like a great pacifier), so sue Beca for being curious.

“I betted on Aubrey.”

“Aubrey?!”

Then Stacie’s Cheshire smile was back as she said, “Oooh, why, you wanted me to bet on Chloe, did you?”

Beca didn’t even want to give herself a chance to dwell on her best friend’s reply. “No, seriously, why Aubrey? The chick hates me, and we’re either ignoring each other or trying to rip each other’s throats out!”

Stacie just shook her head, and Beca tried not to cringe upon realizing she referred to tightwad El Capitan as a chick. “You wouldn’t know sexual tension if it was sitting beside you every day in the quad with your headphones on playing music from a folder that may or may not be named ‘Aubrey.’”

“Stacie!”

“Beca! Seriously though, I’d bet on Aubrey. You two have so much in common way more than you realized, and the potential angry make-up sex would be undoubtedly hot.”

“That isn’t any better!” Beca buries her head in the pillow, not knowing what else to do.

Chapter Text

One Stacie Conrad was obviously very happy with herself. She went through her school work with a grin on her face. Maybe it had to do with the café they found which was quite conducive to learning. It had a bit of an oaky feeling. And the interior design was pleasing to the eyes. There was good lighting. The food and beverages were good, though overpriced. But what café wasn’t, right?

“I know I’m gorgeous, but if you want to say something, just say it already, Aubs,” the brunette mumbled without taking her eyes off her readings.

Aubrey looked back to her own book sheepishly. “Yes, well, you seemed oddly pleased with yourself.” And before the brunette could reply with an “ I try to please myself often” or an obnoxious “ I’m always pleased with myself” , the blonde added, “More so than usual.”

Stacie’s grinned widened. “Oh, I don’t know about that, but do you want to bet that good ole Chloe went for a long, long drive with your favorite pint sized Bella?”

Aubrey shook her head. “I can’t make a bet if I actually agree with you.”

She thought back to her better half’s…cagey behavior as of late. A flash of guilt coursed through her. Something has been bothering Chloe recently, she was sure of it. And Aubrey felt helpless in her decision to wait for Chloe to open up about it. There’s a part of her that’s scared that the redhead won’t. Chloe sometimes felt a need to resolve her issues on her own for Aubrey’s sake. 

Whatever it was, though, it showed. Right before Aubrey and Stacie left the former’s apartment, they heard the redhead throw a book across the living area (it may or may not have been a Russian Literature book). Normally, this was Aubrey’s cue to wrap her arms around her soulmate and nuzzle her neck from behind until she calmed down.

However, Aubrey digressed. She would’ve only gotten an and don’t even get me started on the injustice that is you, Aubrey Posen .

Chloe has taken to reminding her every chance she got about the redhead’s displeasure of not being able to hear Beca’s mixes or use Beca’s headphones. Both were something that Aubrey was now privy to on a regular basis. It was quite the sweet gesture on Beca’s part, and was sweetened even further by how cute Chloe’s indignation was. She has also been gifted by the sight of Beca trailing around Chloe like a lost puppy asking for forgiveness. There was even a betting pool going around on who gave in first. Aubrey pretended she didn’t know about it.

So when Stacie alluded to the very stressed out redhead that Beca would most definitely be likely to play her music on a relaxing drive around town, Aubrey didn’t stop her. The brunette only implied it, after all. As far as the bet-that-she-had-no-knowledge-of was concerned, it was fair game.

Aubrey checked her phone and was surprised to see no notifications. Usually, her soulmate sent a litter of messages when they were apart. It made her wonder what Chloe and Beca were up to. The Russian literature book that was still on their apartment floor flashed across her mind. Maybe she should be worried about the possibility of Chloe murdering the midget on the chance that Beca still didn’t let Chloe listen to her music.

A humming brought her out of her thoughts, and the blonde glanced back at her companion. Stacie was still sporting a smug grin as she highlighted some texts. Aubrey hesitated before continuing, “You’re quite invested in getting them to make up.”

“What, can I not ship their friendship?” Stacie replied, as she flipped to a new page. Aubrey’s response was a weird and intended silence that made the brunette pause.  “Wait, do you actually think I invited you out to study for some elaborate plan to get you out of the house, get Chloe alone and bored, and somehow convince Chloe to make up with my moody best friend?”

Aubrey raised an eyebrow, “Your words, not mine.”

Stacie coughed, “Okay, fine. But to be fair, I really did want to hang out and study with you. Don’t worry, I ship Straubrey just as much!”

“Sure, Stacie. Very creative.”

“Huh, I’m actually surprised you know what ships are.”

Aubrey was tempted to roll her eyes. “My soulmate is a lit major. Who do you think listens to Chloe’s shipping woes?”

“Makes sense...,” the brunette replied, and then, “You think Chloe would ship us? I bet she’d find us hot.”

This time, Aubrey couldn’t help rolling her eyes. “Jesus, Stacie. Not everyone’s soulmate finds it okay for their own to fool around with everyone they talk to.”

Stacie looked up to her sharply, and it took a beat before Aubrey realized what she said. The captain didn’t know where it came from. She was just tired with all the sexual innuendos, but she didn’t mean for it to sound as it did.

“Oh, jeez, Stacie, I’m—”

She was cut off by Stacie’s laugh and response, “— totally fishing for me to talk about my soulmate.”

“Uh, what?”

Stacie raised an eyebrow, false hurt evident in her eyes. “You weren’t? So…you actually meant what you said?”

“No! Oh my aca-gods,” Aubrey muttered. Stacie could be so disconcerting to talk with sometimes. In the short time she’d known the woman, the blonde learned that some days it was best to just go along with her. She resigned, “Fine, okay, I was ‘fishing for you to talk about your soulmate.’”

“You know you could just ask me about this stuff,” Stacie said. And with another megawatt smile that could probably challenge Chloe’s, she added, “I mean, we’re friends.”

It’s moments like this that Aubrey is reminded why she had thought she could get along well with the brunette. Sure, it felt like Stacie rode her own wavelength most of the time. And yes, Stacie was her junior, and a freshman at that. But the casual way she could say such genuine sentiments was something that Aubrey really admired about the girl.

So Aubrey feigned an annoyed groan and conceded. She closed her book, and accepted that she probably won’t be getting any studying today with Stacie’s jovial and talkative mood. “It’s not like you talk about your love life beyond your typical innuendos and recent sexcapades.”

“It’s not like you do either.”

Aubrey look at her incredulously, “ I don’t make innuendos and I don’t have sex escapades.”

“Even with Chloe?”

“ Stacie !”

Stacie laughed again. Clearly one of them was enjoying this conversation more than the other. Aubrey felt the other girl eye her, probably wondering if the brunette had pushed her to her limit already.

Apparently, Stacie decided that she had, and said, “Okay, okay. I’ll stop with all the jokes—well at least for today. And I’ll tell you about him. And just to get it out of the way, yes, Brand knows about my ‘sexcapades’, and yes, if it wasn’t obvious already, it’s an open relationship.”

“Brand?”

“My soulmate. Christ, Aubs, keep up.”

By the time Aubrey got back home, she immediately collapsed in bed, because, well. God damn. Cancer. Cancer . Brand, Stacie’s soulmate and Beca’s brother , has cancer .

She was amazed at how nonchalant Stacie had talked about it: “ We totally could’ve gone without the cancer. I mean, with me involved? We were bound to discover the joys of non-monogamy, regardless ”. After the brunette mentioned Brand’s post-surgery therapy, she had easily moved on and talked about him in general. Brand was around Aubrey’s age, and, like Stacie, was some kind of genius. “Correction,” Stacie had said. “He’s just a prodigy. He graduated college early. I, on the other hand, am 100% pure genius.”

The blonde had rolled her eyes in response, and continued to listen as Stacie gushed about her soulmate. Stacie’s eyes had shone, her voice was animated, and there was this certain awe in the way she spoke and explained the dynamics of their relationship.

On a certain level, she could understand Brand’s logic. She tried to imagine herself in his place: abandoned by his father, dead mother, with a brilliant young soulmate meant for only the best of the world, and a disease that could turn decades into days. She tried to imagine having no choice but to take away what measly color she has given Chloe. What was it like having no choice but to take herself away from Chloe? Yes, she can see it. She can see how she would fear for their relationship to be reduced to Chloe taking care of her, being there for her. She can see the fear—unfounded it may be—of their relationship, of her Chloe, being reduced to just her and her illness.

 So she could understand. She would want Chloe to know love past what she was capable of giving. She could see wanting Chloe to know happiness beyond herself. And she could picture that sick desperation of making sure that there was a whole Chloe without her.

Aubrey could feel the bile in her throat at these mere thoughts.

She couldn’t help but look at Stacie in a different light—with new found respect. The amount of maturity Stacie must have to respect her soulmate’s wishes was nothing short of astounding. This time, Aubrey tried to place herself in Stacie’s shoes. The moment that she did was some kind of sucker punch to her gut.

She took a shower to calm her thoughts. This time, Aubrey could not understand. She could not comprehend the amount of strength needed to live in a world where Chloe’s days were numbered.  She could not grasp the possibility of finding—or wanting, for that matter—any comfort, safety, or happiness in the void that Chloe would leave. She could not stomach the idea of every embrace—every touch—tainted with the fear of it being the last.

She didn’t know how long she stayed like that. She didn’t know how long she had effectively trapped herself in the fear of this hypothetical world that fated her to lose Chloe. The water running against her body and the resounding splatters gave no indication of how much time passed. How long did she tremble? Wait, when did she start trembling?

“Bree, I’m home!”

She didn’t remember closing the showers. Nor did she remember grabbing a towel, and wrapping herself around it. There was only now . Chloe was in her arms now . Her lips crashed against hers now . Her soul was singing in her presence now .

Chloe broke the kiss, giggling. The sound of it centered Aubrey. She looked at the redhead’s eyes—blue eyes, someone had told her once. What use did she have of the color blue, when Chloe had given her yellow? What use did she have of the color blue, when all that mattered was Chloe’s eyes were alive?

Just with a look, she knew that her soulmate had enjoyed her time outside. There was a lightness to it that wasn’t there before. A part of Aubrey craved to know what happened to her day, wanted to know what (who) to thank for the skip in her soulmate’s gait, wanted to know how to replicate making her soulmate feel like this.

But the other part, the part that won, demanded that she celebrate Chloe’s existence in her arms. Aubrey nibbled and nuzzled on her soulmate’s neck. She found her pulse, and sucked. Chloe gasped, “What’s gotten into you, Bree?”

“The entirety of me loves you,” was her reply, and she continued her mission on the redhead’s collarbone. Before the redhead could ask more, the towel wrapped around Aubrey’s body slipped, and any further questions from her soulmate were lost. She scooped the redhead up into their room. Maybe she should have that towel framed.

That night, she took her soulmate until the redhead’s exhaustion claimed her. For every kiss on Chloe’s skin, she apologized for their busy year, for her divided attention, for not being enough. For every sound that comes from Chloe’s lips, she promised to love her better.

It was easier said than done.

Aubrey was almost knocked down to her knees when she had realized how lost she was. The idea that she had stumbled upon a communication problem with Chloe, Chloe , was jarring, to say the least.

The next day, Aubrey had prepared breakfast in bed. Chloe had teased her endlessly for it, wondering what the occasion was. It saddened her, wishing that Chloe wouldn’t think she needed a reason to spoil her. It was this sadness that strengthened her resolve to ask her about whatever it was that has been bothering her these past weeks.

Chloe was startled that she brought it up, and evaded the question like a professional. And then. And then , Aubrey was at a lost how to proceed.

Aubrey and Chloe’s relationship has always been…easy—as easy as breathing. Well, finding out she was her soulmate was a bit of a mess, but even then, Chloe had instinctively known how to respond to her. And Aubrey had found, to her delight, that she did too. When one ebbed, the other flowed. Both knew when the other was needed, when not to push.

However, even after years of knowing each other, they apparently didn’t know when it was time to prod. And more importantly, how .

So Aubrey took another route. She actually lessened her load this semester. While her pride did not allow her to even consider dropping some units this semester (the gods know she was taking an impressive amount of uncredited subjects), she did however have some unnecessary (and unofficial) obligations from a number of organizations. She had let them go, and had started giving Chloe the time and effort she deserved. And while the redhead was still mum about her issues, Aubrey was observant.

She had seen that Chloe had lessened her caffeine intake recently, and replaced it with tea. So she made sure to stock up on the different kinds of tea that she noticed Chloe searched for on their shared PC (the ads were relentless, so it didn't count as snooping). She knew that Chloe had recently bought a water bottle that can hold exactly 500mL worth of water, and that she refilled it at least three times. So she made sure to wash said bottle every night, and casually mentioned a water drinking tracking app for Chloe to download. She noticed that every morning and night, Chloe tried to find something hot to inhale. She’s watched Chloe peacefully inhale the steam from a mug of tea or just plain water every now and then. So she made sure that there’s always hot water around—extremely hot water, so that the steam lasts longer.

And yet. Yet she still didn’t know what’s keeping her soulmate in a daze and her sleeping patterns wrecked. Every time she even hinted at talking about it, Chloe backtracked so fluidly, she’s almost in awe. But Aubrey was at her wits end. She’s so desperate to know that she almost considered going to Beca Mitchell.

She knew that the midget knew . She’s sure that Chloe had told the brunette that day when they went out for a ride around town. Chloe had come back chipper, and the two had seemed closer since. She found the two constantly talking, be it in person, or through texts and chats—sometimes even phone calls. And whatever it was that Chloe had said made the brunette vigilant too. It seemed that, like Aubrey, Beca had been observing changes in Chloe.

During one of their practice breaks, Chloe had been eyeing her tea in disgust. Beca then produced a bottle of honey out of nowhere! The same brand of honey Chloe has been using on everything: toast, yogurt, pizza, and tea, to name a few. (Someday, Stacie and Fat Amy will tell them that, in that moment, Aubrey and Chloe had looked at Beca like she hung the moon).

Beca must know.

But damn everything good in the world if she actually asked Beca before she did so with Chloe. If she had the audacity to ask about her own relationship to someone who wasn’t in it, then she should be able to ask the person who was in it first. Aubrey is blowing this out of proportion—all she had to do was ask Chloe —but she didn’t know how to stop.

“Beca, a word.”

More accurately, her mouth didn’t know how to stop.

Beca spun around, and she saw Stacie raise her eyebrows before shrugging and joining the rest of the retreating Bellas. Chloe shot her a questioning look, but was unable to do much, considering she had a makeup class after this rehearsal. Before long, she was alone with Beca, and the latter was looking at her expectantly.

Jesus. Why did she call the midget here? She should’ve called Chloe, not her. Talked to Chloe about this, not her. Why is she even getting obsessed about this? Chloe would tell her whatever it is when the redhead is ready. She knows this. So why does Chloe’s silence feel like a failure on her part?

“Hello? Earth to Aubrey?”

Christ save her. “You know you’ll have to take that ear monstrosity out for the Fall Mixer.”

There’s a hint of exasperation in Beca’s eyes before she responded, “Gee, it’s like you really don’t like me, do you?”

“I don’t like your attitude.”

The brunette’s response was to give her an infuriating smirk. “Posen, you know me better than that.”

Aubrey blanched.

Oh god, she did know her better than that. She knew about her family from Stacie. She knew about her dreams and aspirations from Chloe. And she knew how Beca pouted when she’s trying to find a sound, how she lighted up when she sees Stacie or Chloe, how determined and focused she can be, how she looked like when she rests, how she looked like when she’s frustrated—she knew how Beca looked like when she’s exasperated...from…from Aubrey herself. When in all the aca-loving saints and gods did that happen? And why is she suddenly stuck on this?

“Shit, Bree, are you okay?”

Bree .

Aubrey was not in control of this conversation. Of her frozen expression. Of her thoughts. (Of anything in her life right now, really). And she felt like Beca knew that, because the brunette gives her the most tender look she’s ever been given, tainted only with concern. Beca’s eyes didn’t leave her, as she gently gives her one of the chairs, and silently prompts her to start cleaning up the gym. Which was good. Stacking up the chairs was good. Cleaning the board was good. It was routine.

She didn’t expect Beca to break the silence.

“Maybe you should let someone help you next time,” the brunette said. Aubrey almost choked on her own saliva. Beca coughed awkwardly and added, “Help you with closing up the gym after practice, I mean.”

“I’m—it’s fine.” She replied.

Beca shrugged in an attempt at nonchalance, “Well, Chloe’s mentioned you’ve been doing more, recently. I, er, well, someone could help, you know. You don’t have to do it by yourself.”

She hummed, “Really, now. What else does Chloe say?”

Beca stumbled as she brought up a stack of chairs to the others. “Seriously? Besides how much ‘sweeter’ you’ve been lately? A lot . I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard her say, ‘I should just marry that woman right now.’ in a day.”

Wait. What?

“No.”

“Yes. Dude, a blind person can see how much you’ve been doting on her, on every want and need.” Beca deadpanned, but then her eyes softened, and she added with the softest voice, “Don’t know much about soulmates, but I know that’s the kind I wish my mom had.”

 Aubrey whipped her head so fast, it almost hurt. Did she just…? This was the first time they’ve acknowledged the fact that she knew about Beca’s brother, and by extension, her mother. And did she just…?

There’s something stuck in Aubrey’s throat, and she, maybe, hated the nonchalant smirk that made its way to Beca’s face, and the very nonchalant way she grabbed their bags, and said, “C’mon, let’s lock up the gym.”

And maybe she didn’t hate it at all.

“Oh, but I’m still not taking these ‘monstrosities’ off tomorrow.”

Never mind. She definitely hated it. She shouted to the midget’s retreating form, “I really don’t like your attitude!”

Chapter Text

Chloe should not have felt some sort of relief when she heard her soulmate greeting her goodbye. She also shouldn’t have found it easier to breathe, once she heard their car drive away from the apartment. But the guilt latching onto her for indeed feeling that way? Well, that was only right…

That sounded bad, right? Even in her own head, it sounded bad. It wasn’t anything her soulmate did. But Chloe was tired. Tired that Chloe would worry Aubrey. A worried Aubrey was a distracted Aubrey. And distractions were the last thing her bright and brilliant soulmate needed right now. It soothed her guilt to know that Aubrey was with their equally bright and brilliant friend, Stacie. Surely, the two of them would be in some café right now, riding each other’s productive streaks. So yes, at least her soulmate had Stacie.

And Chloe now had the freedom to...be tired. Her Russian literature book was still where she had thrown it. Her paper was still in its unstarted state.  And her notes for an upcoming test were still unstudied. In her defense, all of those would’ve been easier to take care of if it weren’t for the stupid clawing feeling stuck on her throat! ...which does not exist, Chloe. You’re fine.

Right.

If Aubrey was here, she would’ve gathered her up in her arms, and asked her what was wrong. She would then help her list down everything she still needed to do, and plan them in an orderly manner. She would rearrange her study routine to include checking up on Chloe. And by the end of the day, Aubrey would beam at her for finishing everything, and hold her like she’s the most wonderful thing that's happened since sliced bread.

The catch? The thought of Aubrey effortlessly making her feel safe and in control felt ironically draining.

Ting!

[miniDJ]: hey

…Ting!

[miniDJ]: Stacie said you were in the mood for a ride

…Ting! Ting!

[miniDJ]: I am coincidentally always up for a ride

[miniDJ]: pick you up in 15?

…Ting!…Ting!…Ting! Ting!

[miniDJ]: c’moon

[miniDJ]: Would it help if I said that the car music will be good?

[miniDJ]: C’mooon, you gotta talk to me at some point, right?

[miniDJ]: …or not. We can not-talk on the drive even

…Chloe took another glance at her stupid text book. And, well, it didn’t take long for the pint-sized DJ to arrive after that. She did her best to ignore the guilt of being pleased about it. If everything made her feel guilty, then might as well indulge. She hopped into the car, and was instantly greeted with a “Chloe!”

“Huh. I thought we could not-talk?”

“Oh! Right! I mean—shit, I’m still talking—”

Chloe softly giggled, and Beca caught onto her teasing. She heard Beca snort, and felt a gloved hand punch her shoulder lightly. “I do hope you were serious about the music though,” she reminded her, buckling up as they drove away from the neighborhood.

“Here,” was the response, chucking an unlocked phone at her. “Choose whatever.”

In a sudden burst of energy, Chloe snatched the phone. She didn’t feel something within her lighten up per se, but her lips tugged upwards without effort—without consent—and she resigned herself to riding this (this mood? This day?) out. Both figuratively and literally.

A playlist caught her eye—well multiple playlists. Something filled her up at the sight of Aubrey’s name and hers just before Stacie’s. But before she could tease Beca about it, she noticed something far more intriguing. “You have a playlist for your dad.”

She lets her thumb hover on the list called Sperm Donor , as Beca rolled her eyes. “Ugh, yes. My therapist got paid a hundred dollars to tell me to make a playlist.”

Chloe inhaled sharply, not expecting the sentence, not expecting her own reaction even. Before she could think better of it, she chirped, “You went to therapy?”

After a turn, Beca side-eyed her, with an amused expression. “Between the dead mom, the deadbeat dad, and the insistence of my might-be-dead-soon-brother, it wasn’t really much of a choice.”

Chloe blinked as she tried to unpack all of that. The venom in Beca’s voice when her father was mentioned wasn’t anything new. But the part about her mother and brother was. It’s not like Chloe hadn’t picked up on the small hints about her mother’s absence. Nor had she missed the worried undertones Beca’s voice sported on the rare times Beca mentioned her brother. Rare as it was, mentions of his brother were usually about “ the fact that he’s so whiny about his medication is peak hypocrisy .”

But, oh wow, this was the most direct—and most specific—thing she had ever said about her family.

There’s a smugness to Beca’s face right now, almost as if she took satisfaction in having surprised her with this honesty. Her back was relaxed into the driver’s seat, one hand on the wheel, and the other resting lazily on the shifter. Beca looked like she felt at home at the moment.

Something softened inside Chloe at the sight.

The attention span she’s been attempting to hold throughout the day settled. For the first time today, Chloe felt herself here. Her mind was in the moment, zoned into Beca’s challenging smirk, into how the leather felt on her back now, into her own hands resting by the car door. Her mind registered the slight itch in her throat–unfortunate–as she inhaled a hint of hibiscus and rose in the car.

She shot Beca her own smirk and a decisive press on the shuffle button. Beca snorted as the notes filtered through the car. And then,

I wouldn't hesitate, to smile while you suffocate and die

And that would be just fine, And what a lovely time, that it would surely be

So bite your tongue, And choke yourself to sleep

Chloe’s eyes bulged out. She’s mortified that her reaction was to bite down an amused laugh. “For serious?” she asked with raised eyebrows. The upward twitch of her lips is a lost cost.

“So I was angry,” Beca shrugged, unapologetic. A wave of curiosity washed over Chloe, and she welcomed it, wanting it to wipe out everything else that was clamoring for space in her mind. She didn’t wait for the song to finish before hitting ‘next’.

A few notes in staccato signaled the start of the next song. Chloe lets her head bop in tempo, and then…

Melting in my bed now, Trying to keep my head 

Dancing with the dead, these seconds dissolve

She only had enough time to raise an eyebrow before Beca responded, “So I may have been sad, just a little bit.”

Her voice didn’t waver, it didn't contain any nostalgia or grief. Instead, there was a hint of righteousness to the statement. The song continued, memories try to provoke, cycling like a record that keeps breaking slowly . But Beca’s expression hadn’t betrayed anything else. She went through her words over her mind, Beca said that she had been sad, implying she wasn't anymore. Chloe chose to take it at face value. Still, she felt uncomfortable letting the song linger, maybe she could listen to it on her own instead? She hit next.

Hey! I’m a loser, Hallelujah!

No I never wanna walk your way

I’ve come to peace with it that I’m a piece of shit

And there’s nothing much left to say

Beca barked out a laugh, “Exactly how I think my dad manages to live with himself. So maybe I was petty, eh?”

She responded with an amused giggle of her own, “And you aren’t now?”

“Hey! I could still kick you out of the car, you know?” Beca retorted. Chloe felt herself relax at her friend’s playful behavior. After the previous song, she had started feeling guilty about opening the playlist in the first place. But now, watching Beca herself bop her head left and right at the current one, singing along with gusto, Chloe allowed herself to relax into the seat once more and enjoy the music.

When the next song started out with Are there crimes that you never committed? I doubt it, sometimes I wonder when you will die? Chloe decided that that was as good a time as any to tap out of the playlist.

“So I was definitely angry,” Beca shrugged.

Chloe rolled her eyes, “That’s your five stages of grief, huh? Angry, sad, petty, and angry again.”

She snorted, “That’s just four.”

“What’s the fifth then, Becs?”

Beca gave another shrug and with a small hum, “I’ll tell you when I figure it out. But anyway, we’ve been driving for a while now. Anywhere you want to go in particular?”

Ah. There it was, something spiked inside Chloe as she processed the question. The frustration returned, trickling into her neck. She should be studying right now. At home. Or she should’ve just gone with Aubrey. Get an aca-grip, Chloe . She opted out of her soulmate’s TLC, because she was supposed to be capable of being okay on her own. But this didn’t count, did it?

“Chloe?”

She felt Beca give her a quick side-eye, and she cleared her throat before responding, “I’m kinda not sure, actually. Take me anywhere.”

She felt Beca’s quick glance once more. The silence feels thick for a moment, but then Beca shrugs, smirks and rolls her eyes.

 "Sure, let the freshman figure out where to go," she playfully quipped, and the atmosphere lightened. Chloe felt like this has been the best decision she's made today so far.

Chloe knew this had been the best decision she's made today. Her cheeks had started aching from all the smiling. She tried to bat away the licking on one cheek, only for another one to take up their crusade.

The puppy cafe was empty, save for the two of them. They had a monopoly over the puppies’ attention. Coffee tables were positioned along the sides of the cafe, with numerous beanbags scattered around. In the middle of the store was a wide play pen filled with dog toys, but the adorable little pets were free to roam around as they pleased. The actual cafe was separated from the main entrance of the store, making it safe for the dogs to trot around.

She glanced at Beca—a deep laugh of disbelief bubbled up from inside her—and found her to be on the floor, arms spread as if in surrender. Surrender was a good word to call the scene: four puppies making a home on top of the brunette. On one of her outstretched arms was a pupcake they’ve ordered. Three more pups were yapping at the treat. The most comical part was Beca’s facial expression: blank face, eyes towards the ceiling.

"I can't tell if you're enjoying yourself at all or not," Chloe giggled.

“Rest assured, Chloe,” Beca muttered. “I am not.”

Chloe scooted over to the bean bag near her friend, and copied Beca’s position after deciding that her current position wasn’t too bad. The shih tzu—Buddy—that she was holding seemed to agree as she settled on her chest.

“If you dislike this so much, why did you bring us here in the first place?”

Beca attempted to side-eye her, but ultimately failed due to one of the furry pups that decided to use her shoulder as a pillow and her sprawled hair as a butt warmer. “Stacie told me to take her here whenever she’s too anxious or angsty. She’s practically my only frame of reference for acting like a friend, so…”

Chloe felt her shoulders stiffen. Buddy let out a quiet whine before snuggling his cheek further on her chest. “Who said anything about feeling angsty?”

Beca’s dogs yelped as she rolled to her side and leaned her head on her palm. One pup, Grouch, exuded an air of indifference as it slid off of the smaller human, lazily resettling beside her without a care in the world. Chloe wanted to be Grouch.

“I don’t know, Chloe. You tell me,” Beca retorted, absentmindedly petting the puppy beside her. A squeezing tension made its way running up Chloe’s neck. She didn’t notice her throat going dry so suddenly, and just when she was about to plaster the biggest smile she could muster, Beca added with a shrug, “or don’t.”

Chloe huffed out, her uneasiness mixing uncomfortably with slight amusement. Her friend’s statement had been clear that she didn’t have to talk about it at all. She knew that if she steered the conversation away from this, Beca would follow suit. So why did her throat tighten up the way it did now? She didn’t even know what she wanted to say or where to start. All day, her emotions were crayons left far too long in the heat. She could barely identify where the yellows and the reds started turning into sunsets. 

So where to start? Nothing about the past days had elicited a singular feeling in her that she could simply process. Well. Nothing, except for— 

“My paper for Russian Literature is due in two days. I haven’t even started yet.”

Beca hummed in response, and it’s apparently the trigger she needed to spew everything out.

Because Chloe knew exactly what she needed to do for her paper. The outline has been all mapped out! But her eyes refused to focus on a single line of reference long enough to read even just a paragraph. Her mind was in overdrive that she refuted every idea she had before she could even write or research about them. At the same time, her head felt frustratingly sluggish, having made little progress in anything despite the hours she put in. And it’s just. One. Paper. Except it’s not. It’s also true for every other thing in her life. Meanwhile, her soulmate is out there being Wonder Woman. So Chloe just needed to get at least one thing right on her own right now. Just one single thing to get the ball rolling. She should be able to do that much, right? She has to, because being soulmates with someone like Aubrey meant that she was an equal. And this was unbecoming of her.

She couldn’t keep the crack from her voice as she admitted that she had never felt so unworthy.

And that’s without mentioning what she’s speculating about her damned throat. She definitely wouldn’t be verbalizing this one out loud though; the universe can’t make it real if it stays in her thoughts. And besides, Beca’s already sniffling from what she had unloaded on her so far, and—wait, what.

Chloe stopped mid-rant, bewildered, “Aren’t I supposed to be the one crying right now?”

“Shut up, I’m not crying, woman. I’m asthmatic ,” she muttered.

Chloe’s initial reaction was to call her bluff, but she paused and squinted at her. “No way! And you thought a dog cafe was a good idea?”

“Ugh, I told you, Stacie’s my only god damn frame of reference. Stop complaining, or I won’t bring you back here next time.”

“Next time. Meaning you expect me to be an anxious mess again in the future?” She raised an eyebrow.

“Ah, so you admit, you were feeling like a mess today.”

Chloe laughed. She’s pretty sure the amount of times she swung from the highs and lows today wasn’t normal. But the pressure on her nape was gone, and Beca had yet to give any comment or judgment about her word vomit. Instead, the freshman was wearing the same open expression she had while listening to her entire rant. She gave her a soft smile, “For serious though, tell me how you knew I was off?”

“I really didn’t,” Beca shrugged. “But you were restless on the ride back. You kept shuffling the songs, barely letting any of them finish. You were answering me weird. You keep shaking your head mid-thought, I think. And well, my brother had similar tells for when he gets pretty down for a while. The dog cafe wasn’t a bad choice, regardless of what’s up with you.”

Both Buddy and Grouch whined at the same time to complain about the lack of petting. Chloe cooed at them. Beca had rolled her eyes, but acquiesced nonetheless.

“You’re not gonna tell me that everything’s going to be okay?” Chloe hedged.

“Do you want me to?” Beca looked at her with deep fathomless eyes. All Chloe has ever needed was yellows and reds, but for a moment, she wondered.

Beca had offered no advice to her troubles nor pretty words to coax her into some kind of action. So Chloe thought out loud things she had never wanted to verbalize into existence before. And for that day, it was enough.

The Fall Mixer was a flop, and judging from how much Aubrey was laying it on them, they weren’t going to get the money they needed for Regionals. So Beca grabbed a cookie from her pocket, and started munching. If she was going to listen to Aubrey’s tirade, she’ll need something sweet to counter all the negativity.

“I hope you all remember the way you feel right now so you will never want to feel this way again.” Beca munched her cookies faster.

She noticed Stacie trying to catch her eye, and she looked like she was about to suggest something. But then, Aubrey continued judging them, “How are we going to pay for Regionals? A bikini car wash is out of the question…”

“Excuse me?” Stacie asked, whatever she was about to say was forgotten.

“Maybe we could start a singing telegram business. Thoughts, Chloe?”

Their eyes swiveled to the redhead in question, and Beca tensed. The redhead wasn’t listening, and it showed. Judging from Aubrey’s expression, it was obvious that Chloe hasn’t told her soulmate yet about the redhead’s recent worries.

Beca felt guilty that she knew. It was an accident that she noticed during their little trip to the puppy cafe—which by the way, she had barely recovered from the asthma. She shuddered at the thought of Aubrey’s retribution if she had shown up to this mixer with a clogged nose. But really, on the topic of Chloe, if the signs weren’t so similar to Brandon’s melancholy, she wouldn’t have guessed it at all.

Beca turned her focus back on Aubrey. It was obvious to her that the blonde was at her tipping point. Her vibrant green eyes were smoldering with frustration, worry, and helplessness. Beca knew that the Bella captain was definitely going to lash out. She grabbed another cookie to munch.

“ Chloe ! For serious! What is wrong with you?”

There it is.

“I HAVE NODES.”

And there goes Chloe’s—wait what?

“What? Oh my God! Chloe—”

For all the fuckery in this world, “Hold up, what the fuck are nodes?” Beca demanded. This was certainly not the topic of their conversation in that four legged hell.

“Stacie, you are evil,” Beca said venomously.

Following Stacie’s suggestion, they had all agreed on selling baked goods to raise funds. It was why, against all logic applicable to the DJ, Beca found herself awake and chipper at 8 o’clock in the morning. She was practically salivating at the thought of smelling fresh baked goods in the air. Unfortunately, when she burst into their Bella Captains’ apartment, Aubrey grinned at her, and said,

“Just in time, Beca. We were waiting for an Amy sitter.” Aubrey wore a knowing smirk that matched Stacie’s. No .

“Whatever the she-demon said, it isn’t true!”

“Stacie said nothing, Beca,” Aubrey said condescendingly. The nerve. “She just helped plan the job assignments to be as productive as possible.”

“And do you know what’s anti-productive?” Stacie chirped. “Someone who claims to make the dough, but eats it instead.”

The audacity!

And so it was that she and Fat Amy were left out of the fun. Jessica and Ashley were out organizing the booths they’ll be putting up around the campus. Lily was trusted with the glorious job of making the dough. Cynthia Rose and Denise were in charge of shaping them and baking them in the oven. Aubrey, Chloe, and Stacie, being the only ones with steady hands, handled the icing once they were baked.

To keep them off the food, Fat Amy was tasked to monitor all their phones (which they were not allowed to use as per Aubrey’s demand for a distraction-free zone), and poor Beca had the task of monitoring Fat Amy.

Stacie was pure evil. Beca could’ve at least been assigned with Jessica and Ashley. At least then, she could’ve driven around the city as they handled everything they needed for the booth. Maybe if she glared at the floor long enough, she could burn a hole that would grate on Aubrey’s nerves every time she saw it.

The smell of the ingredients made her grind her teeth. Impatiently, Beca reached out for her phone, and Fat Amy slapped it away rather painfully.

“El Capitan’s orders!”

“I just wanted some fucking music!”

Thankfully, before that escalated, one of the phones pinged. Fat Amy, eager to have something to do too, snatched it and yelled, “Yo, legs! ‘ Pa ’ sent you a message!”

Stacie shouted from the kitchen, “What does it say!”

“Find the eigenvalue of—what the, Stacie, I’m not saying all these math horseshit!”

They heard Stacie’s laugh, and replied, “I’ll answer him later, forget about it!”

And that was about the most interesting thing that happened over the next half an hour. Fuck her life.

Beca gazed back at the kitchen and watched the two captains. The slight tenseness she had recently observed on Aubrey seemed to have been replaced by a constant worry. Beca could understand. To say that she was shocked that Chloe had nodes was an understatement. It wasn’t exactly what Chloe had been confiding in her recently—which is something that Beca is pretty sure that Aubrey still didn’t know.

Beca didn’t like that.

It wasn’t her place to tell Chloe how to handle her problems. The last thing she wanted to do was throw around words like anxiety and depression around when Chloe barely acknowledged the problem. God knows her own ex-therapists found that out the hard way. And it wasn’t her place to tell Aubrey behind her back, even if she thinks it’d help Chloe deal with everything. Honestly, the best thing Beca could do was be a reliable, solid, and steady friend Chloe could go to. And that’s all well and good, except Beca also felt that it wasn’t her place to provide that either—at least, not with Chloe’s own clueless soulmate hovering around her in genuine worry and concern.

For fuck’s sake, the only place Beca’s sure she belonged to right now is by that fucking stand mixer making glorious cookie dough that Lily seems to be bastardizing with—hang on a minute.

“Hey, Fat Amy, do you know what Lily’s puttimffsfs.” And the real tragedy of the day occurred: Beca can now say what Fat Amy’s hand tasted like.

Beca bit the hand she almost choked on, and drew a strangled scream from Fat Amy. She was readying to verbally beat down her friend, when the look on Fat Amy’s eyes told her she should be readying her right hook instead.

“What is going on there!” Aubrey shouted from the kitchen.

Beca abruptly stood to complain, when Fat Amy slapped her hand on Beca’s mouth hard enough to shove her back to the coach.

“Nothing at all!” Fat Amy replied in a sickeningly sweet and innocent tone. “Beca and I were just thinking that Chloe looks like she could use some hot tea and a quick break.”

Aubrey turned sharply to Chloe, who was attempting to tell her co-captain that she was fine. Aubrey ignored this in favor of looking Beca in the eyes…which were always so expressive. The appreciation in those green eyes were enough to tell her what she needed to do. And Beca would definitely prefer to make tea and help Chloe relax for a while than to attempt making sense of the enigma that was Fat Amy and her actions.

So she did just that, and in doing so, missed the victorious look Fat Amy threw Lily, and how Lily’s impassive face gave way to the tiniest smirk and the smallest of nods to their fat friend.

Once Beca proved that she was capable of not eating any of the cookies, the captains allowed her to watch and make commentary of Aubrey’s and Stacie’s hideous attempts at icing (they were pretty actually, but it did make Chloe giggle a lot, so...). It made the passing of time easier, and before she knew it, they were storing the cookies in their proper containers. Beca was even deemed trustworthy enough to put the Bella logo stickers on the packaging.

It was late lunch by the time they were finished, and the other girls were eager to get their weekend back. Aubrey and Chloe were seeing the others out, and helping them load the cookies in their respective cars. But Beca glanced at the state of the kitchen, and gave Stacie an expectant glare. She got an exasperated sigh in response, but her best friend dutifully started cleaning up the table. It was only fair to clean up, since she barely helped with anything, and because their captains had offered their kitchen to work in.

Beca grabbed her phone, and finally put some music on, as she got started on washing the dishes. The first notes of music she heard was a blessing to her soul, not at all different to the relief she feels when taking her bra off after a long day. She had said so to Stacie once, but Stacie only snorted. The leggy brunette didn’t really have the same connection to music as Beca did.

A good song came up, and Beca started to sway and sing along as she washed the dishes. She didn’t notice Stacie smirking.

In fact, Stacie’s smirk grew bigger when she noticed Aubrey and Chloe started walking back in the apartment and to the kitchen. Chloe was trying really hard not to giggle at Beca swaying her butt and scrubbing the dishes in sync with the rhythm of the song. Aubrey seemed to be mirroring Stacie’s expression, but was apparently not just content to witness such dorky domestic moves from Beca.

“ The way you grip my tongue,” Aubrey belted sultrily. There was a maddening glint in Chloe’s eyes at the sound, and at the sight of Beca almost dropping the whisk she was washing when the brunette realized she had an audience. The deep red of a blush Beca began sporting complimented the song’s title well. Aubrey continued the song, “ Pour you down a little more, and my lips go numb.”

The song seemed like some kind of inside joke between Aubrey and Beca. And Chloe looked like a mix of being positively hungry to be in on it, and positively delighted at watching Aubrey and Beca teasing each other. The redhead did eventually join in once Beca and Aubrey started flicking water and suds at each other’s face. After all, someone had to save dishes from crashing to the floor.

Stacie could have practically been a ghost, what with how absorbed the three of them were in their own little world. And oh wasn’t that just interesting , Stacie thought. She observed how much at ease Beca was, despite having to remove her gloves in an unknown environment…but, this wasn’t exactly an unknown environment, was it?

Stacie tried to think back how often Beca spent her time with either of the captains in the apartment and in general. Upon further observations, Stacie decided that she didn’t even need to think back. It showed . Despite the fact that the three of them were engaged in a musical-water battle, Chloe and Aubrey made no move to come near Beca’s personal space. It was obvious that both captains were conscious of each of their arm spans and were taking cues on Beca’s reactions whenever they got too near.

Stacie almost jumped at the tap of her shoulder. She turned abruptly, and saw Lily’s frustrated face. What the hell? Stacie was pretty sure everyone else left already.

“I’ve been trying to tell the triad ages ago that I’m leaving with the fliers we printed,” Lily said in a huff. Then she grabbed two bags of cookies that Stacie observed to not have the Bella stickers on them. And then she left.

All these happened in such quick succession, and all Stacie had been able to formulate was, “Wait! What did you call them?”

Chapter Text

Aubrey Posen knew this was going to be a bad day the moment she woke up—late. Thanks to her soulmate. For Chloe’s part, she had only one class today, which was in the early morning and just before Aubrey’s scheduled test. Chloe had breakfast duty, as well as wake-me-up-from-my-all-nighter duty.

Chloe had also overslept.

Scratch that, Chloe was still in the process of oversleeping when Aubrey woke up 15 minutes before her test. She counted it as a win that she vomited before brushing her teeth, and not after. She also counted it as a win that she still managed to finish the test. What wasn’t a win? She ended up not having enough time for lunch before her next class. Also not a win: afterwards, trying to catch her Bellas all over campus to collect their income from the cookies.

By the time that Lilly had presented a thick envelope of cash—far more than what she should have earned—Aubrey was tired. And hungry. And stressed. The throb in her head wasn’t going to go away no matter how many relaxing breaths she took. She wondered what she had done to deserve ending up here, at this specific moment.

It was supposed to be simple. How could selling cookies be not simple?

She looked at Lilly’s unblinking eyes, and (unsuccessfully) forced herself into some sort of calm. “Are you telling me that the cookies you sold on campus —the ones with The Barden Bellas’ logo on it—were edibles ?!”

Yes. Pretty unsuccessful.

Lilly’s face scrunched up, as if somewhat offended that Aubrey had come to that conclusion. Hope flared inside the captain that maybe, just maybe, she had misunderstood this all along. Maybe there was a perfectly fine explanation why the silent Bella had given her wads of cash—

“No, I’m not an idiot. The ones with the logos were clean,” Lilly exclaimed, or at least, the Bella Captain assumed it was an exclamation, what with it barely being a whisper.

Aubrey didn’t stop herself from pinching the bridge of her nose. You knew this was going to be a bad day , she told herself. So really, Aubrey, the fact that practically half of the profits now comes from Beca who bought from Stacie’s, Chloe’s, and her own share, and that the other half comes from edibles sounds just about right, doesn't it?

“Tell me that you’re the only one who sold the ‘other kind.’ And I hope you’re telling me that this”—-she jabs at the stupidly thick envelope—“means that they’re all gone now?”

Lilly’s eyes widened, and her lips thinned—a good imitation of a fish. Aubrey felt like a vein could pop out of her head at any moment. She also couldn’t stop the twitch in her eye.

“ Who. Else. Had. Them ?”

Lilly made a choking sound—good. Aubrey was past the point of holding back the sharpness of her tone.

“Lilly!”

“ Fat Amy, ” Lilly whispered as if it was the name of a dead man—it was as good as.

“The same Fat Amy who sold what’s left of her shares to Beca the Cookie Monster?!”

Chloe was still in bed when she heard a knock on the door. She stifled a groan. If it were Aubrey, she would've called her name out and gone inside the room already. She wasn't expecting any visitors today, and to be honest, she didn't particularly want to see anyone at the moment either. The only thing Chloe wanted to do right now was order her soulmate's favorites for dinner. She wanted to make up for the disaster that was this morning. And getting Aubrey’s favorites delivered was something that can definitely be done on her bed. Opening the front door, however? Not so much.

"Chloe! I'm 70% sure you're in there!"

Oh. Chloe perked up a bit at the sound of the voice, but was still undecided if it was worth waging war with gravity to open the door. She grabbed her phone, and typed out instructions on how to find the spare key. A phone chime later saw Beca Mitchell knocking on her bedroom door. She hollered her in.

Chloe giggled softly as she watched Beca take in the bedroom like it held a world wonder. Technically, this was Aubrey's room. Back when they were freshmen, her soulmate insisted that it was healthy for them to have separate spaces. But Aubrey forgot to account for the fact that Chloe was just irresistible. In practice, Aubrey's room became theirs, and Chloe's became a study room.

"What would you have done if I wasn't here, Ms. 70% sure?" She asked, her voice pulling her visitor away from the picture frames that seemed to have distracted her.

She twisted in bed to look at her with eyebrows up in question. Beca, in turn, gave her a once-over. The redhead was lying down on her front, perpendicular to the bed, and with a phone in one hand. 

Beca looked unimpressed.

"Ah, one of those days, is it?"

And was apparently also sporting a too knowing look.

"Haven't showered today either, I bet. Haven't even eaten, maybe?" The playful smirk on the brunette's face was contagious, and Chloe found her lips being tugged into a small smile.

"Behold my powers, Becs. Not even a semester in, and I've somehow made myself so important to you that you carve out a special time of your day just to judge me," is her response, turning over to spread eagle as to aid the brunette in beholding her.

She missed Beca’s eyes glazing for a brief moment, but definitely heard her snort, "Definitely, dude. From strangers to being my backup ‘rescue-me-from-boredom' person. Very impressive."

"You did not call me a backup—Beca Mitchell, do I look like I'd be anyone's second choice?" Chloe challenged, as she rolled over, and propped herself on her side. She patted the bed and gestured for her to come sit. An almost painful and uncomfortable look crossed the brunette's face. Odd. And yet, she couldn't help but giggle again as she watched Beca gingerly sit at the edge of the bed.

"But really, what are you doing here, Beca?"

Beca scrunched up her nose cutely, "I told you, I'm bored. Two of Stacie's professors are gone for a week. So she’s cut the rest of her classes and gave herself a long weekend to visit my brother."

"Oh," Chloe said in a curious tone. The last time the brunette mentioned his brother, it was to list his apparent similarities to the redhead—unpleasant as it was to be called out by the sunshine that was Beca. Aubrey hadn't said much about what she knew about Brand other than what Chloe had already known herself. And the pair of soulmates seemed to have stumbled into a silent agreement not to push each other too much for information about their pint sized Bella; both of them seemed to be holding on dearly to whatever trust they've been handed by the brunette.

But for all that she did know, the siblings seemed quite attached to each other. So she found it curious and asked, "And you didn't come with her because?"

"Because my professors aren't gone for a week?"

Chloe raised an eyebrow.

"Ugh, okay, fine. Brand refused to fund my ticket as that would 'enable my flippant college lifestyle.' Plus the sperm donor's also watching my attendance like a hawk."

"So poor you will have to settle for little ole me."

"Now you get it," Beca nodded, but then her smirk turns into a small smile. Chloe zeroed in on it, feeling drawn in. "But between you and me, Brand just doesn't like me seeing him after his recovery therapy sessions. And I honestly don't really want to be anywhere near Stacie and my brother whenever they 'reunite.' I'll have enough of that during thanksgiving, thank you very much."

Chloe laughed at that, thrilled at the easy and more open way Beca has been talking to her recently. As her laughter died out, she noticed the critical look she's being given.

"C'mon, get up," Beca ordered, getting up herself, and promptly yanked her upward. The world tilted in the wrong direction, and Chloe squawked at the sudden move.

"Go shower, and I'll try to see if there's cereal or some shit here for you to eat."

Chloe groaned, already mid-flopping right back to bed. “Beca! I did not let you in, only to be managed . Leave me to my moping, woman.”

With surprising speed, Beca grabbed her by the wrist before she could actually fall back and pulled her closer. Chloe wasn’t sure what caused her to gasp. Was it just the sudden movement? The fact that she was a few inches short of being flushed against Beca? Or the sharp and imperious look that was currently trapping her own gaze with? Yes.

Beca’s voice carried a subtle depth that didn’t help, “ Behave , Chloe. I’ll give you a reward if you’re a good girl about this.”

Oh . Chloe ignored the faint heat that stirred from those words, and took them for the friendly teasing that it definitely was.

“Hmm, what’s the reward?,” Chloe tried to respond playfully. Her voice may have felt dry. Surely, it was the nodes. And surely, she had imagined Beca flicking her gaze towards…

Before she could finish the thought, Beca released her to rummage through her messenger bag, and pulled out a—“ Tada! I’ve still got a tub of cookies!”

Chloe gave her most unimpressed look, “That’s it?”

“Oh, come on. These are healthy cookies! Organic! Fat Amy’s got her own bunch apparently. Lucky since Posen banned everyone else from selling me more, damn her.”

Chloe stifled a giggle with a mock sigh and made a show of giving in with exasperation. Milk and cookies for brunch beats nothing at all, right?

Aubrey wasn’t panicking per se. Yes, Beca was not answering her calls. And yes, Stacie was similarly unreachable. But the fact that neither could be found in their dorms meant that Beca wasn’t currently blitzed out into oblivion. Right? Her traitorous brain chants:

Beca eats cookies in class. Beca eats cookies as she walks. Beca eats cookies as she works. Beca eats cookies as she drives—

Aubrey wasn’t panicking. Not yet. She had sent Fat Amy and Lilly to scour the campus, so there’s a chance that they’ve already found her. Before something stupid happens. In the meanwhile, she was going to go home and tell Chloe what’s going on. If there was any other Bella who Beca was likely to hang out with or know what she was up to, it was her soulmate. Chloe might know how to find her. And if she didn’t, then at least she can finally panic in the safety of Chloe’s presence.

She grabbed the keys to her apartment, and it’s only then that she realized she still hasn’t eaten anything today. Chloe had sent her a text earlier, promising to have her favorites delivered for when she got back home. Or at least that’s what Aubrey thought she meant. What Chloe’s message actually said was:

[ChloBear] : Sun rose. I dnt. 4givings a process. Step 1: u. Night noms. pad thai.

The tension she had been carrying the whole day abated a little at the thought. She typically hated textspeak. But her soulmate makes it look cute. And her soulmate always made everything better—even if she did forget to wake Aubrey up today. She’d tell Chloe what was going on, and they’d grab a bite, and they’d get through the day together.

She swung the door open. And the same strength that had just filled her a moment ago was enough to floor her when it left just as swiftly.

The apartment was in complete disarray. Lights were turned on in varying brightness. The TV was buzzing away and no one was there to watch. The speakers were humming a playlist as well from another room. Aubrey was sure that all the glasses in their cabinets had been strewn about, each filled with varying amounts of water and some of which had been clearly knocked over—not broken though, thankfully. The sofa’s littered with opened packets of chips. Further into the kitchen were at least ten takeout boxes of what suspiciously smelled like Pad Thai. And—sweet Jesus, oh no —a familiarly unmarked container is on the floor, containing what looked to be cookie crumbs.

The curse left her lips before the thought registered in her brain, “What the fuck ”

To top everything off, something yipped and came barreling towards the sound of her voice. Aubrey blinked. Was she really looking at her neighbor’s puppy right now? Yes. Yes, she was. The little thing was jumping up at her leg.

Last she checked, looking at an empty tub of edibles was not enough to cause anyone hallucinations. This was real.

Aubrey swallowed her incredulity, and started calling out to her soulmate in great concern. Fortunately, it did not take long to find her in the house. Unfortunately, the sight that greeted her in their bedroom was less kind.

She found them both on the floor in the corner of the room. Beca’s knees were drawn up. Her head was buried in her arms where gloved hands were clearly digging into. She was trembling , breathing heavily. Behind the freshman was Chloe, with her arms wrapped around the quivering Bella, her chin propped on the other’s shoulder. Chloe’s eyes looked wild but unfocused. She could hear her soulmate murmuring softly, I’m here. You’re okay. I’ve got you. This will pass. I’m here, you’re okay, this will pass, I’ve got you…

For a moment, Aubrey was transported back to this year’s hood night, helpless as she watched Stacie comfort Beca. But there’s no Stacie now. And Chloe was looking baked to oblivion right alongside with her.

“Hey, hey,” she started softly as she knelt in front of them. That snapped both of their attentions to her. Beca’s trembling gaze was glazed over. Chloe looked at her in panic and alarm—it struck the most abhorrent feeling in Aubrey’s chest. 

“I didn’t know!” Chloe pitched in a desperate tone. “I swear, I swear. I wouldn’t have—they didn’t even taste—we already finished it when we heard the floor start breathing!”

She cupped each of their cheeks, and felt Chloe exhale, leaning into her hand. She felt Beca slightly relax as Chloe's tenseness eased.

“You're safe with me now,” Aubrey declared with soothing confidence. She pressed a kiss at the crown of their heads.

Auto-pilot kicked in for Aubrey. She helped them into a fresh set of pajamas—Chloe’s looking too big and altogether too adorable on Beca—and coaxed them to bed. She filled up tumblers of water and set it on the bedside tables. She left the mess alone, but all the lights were set to an acceptably dim level. She knew not to turn it all off. At this state, Chloe was scared of the dark. The TV and music were shut off. By the time she was done, Chloe and Beca were zoning in on the waves from the aurora projector that they got for…specifically this reason. Aubrey did her best to push their sophomore year out of her mind, and focus on the good things: Chloe looked serene and Beca’s tremors seemed to have stopped.

Aubrey was about ready to join them and start her vigil. Yet, she couldn’t help but think she forgot about something…something about her neighbors— “ Fuck ”

As if summoned, yips came bounding into their room.

“Bree,” Beca said, eyes wide. “The pillow is barking!”

Chloe proceeded to coo at their pillows with a shhh . 

Aubrey crouched down at the puppy with his adorable eyes. She should return him to the neighbors. But she was loath to leave the two alone in the house again. She wondered how the puppy got here. She wondered if their neighbors were looking for their dog—a brief flare of annoyance flashed through her. The reason she knew that the pup was their neighbor's was because she and Chloe often heard him cry out in their neighbor’s absence. Since the couple weeks that the pup arrived, they had to sometimes toss dog food over the neighbor’s backyard to quieten the pup’s hunger. Their neighbor’s should be out there already looking for the pup frantically. And yet.

The puppy whined and licked her hand.  That’s that, Aubrey guessed. She grabbed him and made her way to the bed. The dog hopped onto the pillow—

“No, Bree! Pillows make Beca sneeze!” Chloe exclaimed and drew Beca to her with an arm—Aubrey assumed the logic was to get Beca’s face away from the pillow and use her chest as a substitute. She saw Beca press closer, but nod nonetheless.

Aubrey has since learned to take what Chloe says at face value whenever she’s spaced. It was easier not to question it. And frankly, after the day she had, she didn’t even have any energy to do otherwise. So she grabbed some blankets and some more pillows and made a makeshift bed for the puppy on the floor. Maybe the universe was having mercy on her, because the dog actually settled contently. She hoped fervently that neither of them had thought to feed the “pillow” anything weird.

She carefully joined them in bed and let herself sink into the mattress. Later, she will think of getting the entire mess sorted, but right now… rest .

“Bree?” Chloe whispered. Her eyes were glassy and her pout wobbly.  “Does this count as breaking my promise?”

Aubrey’s heart clenched. She forced herself to purge the sudden fury she felt in one blink. She wasn’t sure who it was really for. For Lilly who had made the cookies? Fat Amy, for selling it to Beca without explicitly telling her what it was?

She reached over for her hand and kissed the back of it, her eyes never leaving Chloe’s. “I promise you it doesn’t.”

Chloe hummed. And then, “The quiet is echoing. Can you make it stop?”

Beca made a confused noise in response, but Aubrey knew exactly what her soulmate meant. She started with a song that she knew Chloe loved, and took it down a tempo the way Chloe preferred when her head was in the clouds. Beca, in her faded state, seemed to be taking her cues from Chloe. Tensing up when Chloe froze, melting down when Chloe eased. 

She wondered where their thoughts were at now, but she had no intention of breaking the peace that had settled into them as she sang. Watching them together, unguarded, made something twist inside her in the gentlest of manners. They lookeed like puzzle pieces clicked into place. Fitted together in an effortless way. They looked like a view beyond a horizon—beyond her at the moment. Yet she couldn’t help but find the beauty in the space they left behind. 

She saw Chloe drift off, and she was sure Beca wasn’t too far there. She wouldn’t let herself follow, content to stretch whatever this warm feeling was as long as she could. So she hummed some more, “ Pulled the windows down, to the wild wind. Better days arrive, darling if you let them in… ”