Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

{BlueSp00k sent a message to All The Single Ladies}

BlueSp00k: guys i just thought of smthing

ImAPidgeon: dude its 3am

BlueSp00k: then whatre u doing here?

ImAPidgeon: point taken continue

BlueSp00k: so apple has air

BlueSp00k: google has earth

BlueSp00k: and amazon has fire right?

ImAPidgeon: yeah?

BlueSp00k: MICROSOFT SHOULD DO SOME SHIT WITH WATER

BlueSp00k: HOW SICK WOULD THAT BE

BlueSp00k: ELEMENTAL TECH

ImAPidgeon: Lance when was the last time you slept?

BlueSp00k: idk like last tuseday

ImAPidgeon: Tuesday*

BlueSp00k: Bitch*

ImAPidgeon: go to sleep idiot

BlueSp00k: cant i have to study

BlueSp00k: theres this test on the digestive system of a goat tmrw

ImAPidgeon: you’re not gonna pass if you don’t sleep

BlueSp00k: ……

BlueSp00k: you got me there

ImAPidgeon: night Lance

BlueSp00k: gdnight Pidge

Lance stares down at the phone in his hand, the words blurring together as his eyes lose focus. He knows he should sleep but the banging from downstairs has him flinching every few seconds, half expecting someone to come storming in and taking out their frustrations on him.

He grits his teeth and locks his phone, tucking it under his pillow before turning onto his sided. His eyes squeeze shut and that is how Lance spends the rest of the night. Alone in his room, listening to his parents screaming threats at each other from the room below.

---------------------------------

{BlueSp00k sent a message to All The Single Ladies}

BlueSp00k: SUP HETEROS

ImAPidgeon: What the fuck did you just call me?!

ItsNotAPhaseMom!: Wtf did you just call me?!

FoodNinja: Hey Lance

LendAHand: *sigh* hello Lance

ImAPidgeon: I’m genuinely offended

ImAPidgeon: You have offended me

BlueSp00k: omg wait Hunk’s the only straight one here

BlueSp00k: Lol!

FoodNinja: I am perfectly happy with my sexuality

BlueSp00k: More like ur perfectly happy with Shay ;^)

ImAPidgeon: Ooooooh Hunk get some!

FoodNinja: not funny

BlueSp00k: aw cmon buddy were proud of u

ItsNotAPhaseMom!: im trying to do hw could you shut up

LendAHand: you? Doing homework?

BlueSp00k: u know theres a mute rite?

BlueSp00k: Keith?

FoodNinja: I think he found the mute

BlueSp00k: R00d!!!!

LendAHand: I mean it was only a matter of time

BlueSp00k: i came here to have a good time and im honestly feeling so attacked

ImAPidgeon: Coz we care about your feelings

BlueSp00k: double r00d!!!!

{BlueSp00k has changed the chat name to SaveLancesFeelings}

{ImAPidgeon has changed the chat name to WhosLance}

BlueSp00k: woah thats deep

LendAHand: oh god what have you done

BlueSp00k: who am I really?

ImAPidgeon: I see my mistake

BlueSp00k: what does it really mean to be Lance?

BlueSp00k: am I anything more than a meme factory?

BlueSp00k: or is that all ill ever be?

{ItsNotAPhaseMom! Has changed the chat name to ShutUpINeedToPassMyClasses}

BlueSp00k: dude the mute

ItsNotAPhaseMom!: I couldn’t find it

BlueSp00k: wait so u were just ignoring us?

ItsNotAPhaseMom!: yeah

BlueSp00k: TRIPLE R00D!!!

ImAPidgeon: get rekt!

LendAHand: Pidge honey

LendAHand: I love you but if you say that again your disowned

ImAPidgeon: THE REBELLION IS NYE

BlueSp00k: BILL BYE THE SCIENCE GUY

FoodNinja: children please

ItsNotAPhaseMom!: this friendship was a mistake

BlueSp00k: too late to back out now

ImAPidgeon: ur stuck with us now bitch

FoodNinja: hey Lance my mums making shrimp empanadas

BlueSp00k: say no more ill be there in two shakes of a lambs tail

ImAPidgeon: who even says that anymore?

ItsNotAPhaseMom!: Lance apparently

ImAPidgeon: Ugh Matt stole my xbox controller again

ItsNotAPhaseMom!: throw something at him

ItsNotAPhaseMom!: steal his tv

ItsNotAPhaseMom!: steal his door

LendAHand: Keith no!

FoodNinja: ….Keith chill

ItsNotAPhaseMom!: C-C-C-CMON C-C-C-CMON GO GO

ImAPidgeon: you triggered him

ImAPidgeon: you awakened his inner theatre geek

LendAHand: God save us all

{ItsNotAPhaseMom! Has changed their name to SquipforPrez}

LendAHand: Keith WHY

SquipforPrez: I will fight for my computer boi

FoodNinja: pls don’t

Chapter Text

To say that Lance was tired Monday morning would be an understatement. His eyes were drooping, his head was foggy and somewhere along the way to the kitchen he had lost a sock. Any hope of today being a good day is gone when he sees his father standing behind the counter, a bottle of beer in his hand as always. It seemed he had one permanently stuck to his hand and it just kept getting refilled. Lance made sure he carefully poured the milk into his bowl, only giving himself the bare amount necessary, causing him to have slightly too dry cereal.

Once he finishes eating he washes his bowl and leaves it to dry, silently tiptoeing around his father and upstairs to wake his siblings. The only reason he still sticks around in this shithole is for his little brothers and sister. Mateo, Nicholas and Adrien were first to be woken, all three sharing a room with a bunk and a single bed. The boys grumble and groan but Lance just gives them a charming smile and sends them into the bathroom to get ready.

Next is little Emily. Lance of course loves all his siblings equally but Emily is the baby of the family, meaning she holds a soft place in his heart. He crouches beside her bed and moves so that he is eye level with the sleeping girl’s cheek. Then with the speed of a cat he’s scooped her up into his arms, delivering morning kisses all over her face. Emily squeals in glee and begs for mercy.

This is their usual morning, their small piece of happiness that they have inside this house. The teen knows that soon this won’t be enough, that soon the young children will learn just how messed up their family is; but for now he will allow himself to savour their limited time of ignorance.

A loud slam from downstairs has Lance propping Emily up on his hip and running down, finding Nicholas on the ground and their father standing over him with a face of rage. Lance’s heart drops.

“El burro sabe mas que tu! You made a mess! Gilipollas!” That tone of voice he’s using. It sends chills down the teen’s back but he needs to step in before Nicholas gets hurt.

“Papa, he didn’t mean to.” Oh god now those eyes are on him. He can feel the unkempt fire of anger burning within those eyes and he knows that he’ll pay for this later. At least for now he can do something. “Nicky c’mon let’s get dressed. We need to get to school.” Lance rushes over to his brother, lifting the 10 year old to his feet and hurrying him up the stairs.

His father’s dark brown eyes and curled lip snarl at him. “We’ll talk about this later hijo.” If Lance weren’t so terrified he might have been proud of how calm he looked on the outside. He gave his father a respectful nod and followed the children to their bedrooms where he helped them prepare for the day. Nicholas approaches Lance hesitantly while the younger ones are busy and grabs a hold of the teen’s forearm.

“Lancey, what did papa mean? Is he gonna get angry at you?” Lance can feel his heart breaking at the fear inside his brother’s eyes. His siblings should never have to feel such negative emotion in a place where they should feel safe. He kneels down and places his hands on the boy’s shoulders, locking their eyes together.

“You have nothing to worry about Nicky, I’ll be fine.” He wasn’t lying. As long as he has them to wake up for everyday he would get through. He would hike through hell and back for these kids.

Dropping the children off at school was the easiest part of their day, all of them knowing better than to cause trouble so early in the day. It’s when he reaches his own school that the day seems to drag along more slowly, something he’s more than happy with. He digs into his pocket and extracts his phone, finding a small number of texts in the group chat already.

{FoodNinja sent a message to ShutUpINeedToPassMyClasses}

FoodNinja: hey guys sorryI won’t be at school today

FoodNinja: Kalena’s sick and mom has to work

Lance cringes at the thought of an entire day of school without his only friend.

ImAPidgeon: that’s fine

SquipforPrez: hope she gets better I guess

ImAPidgeon: guess Lance left already??

SquipforPrez: or he finally got some sleep

LendAHand: I doubt it

ImAPidgeon: on that topic why the fuck isn’t he sleeping

FoodNinja: idk I mean he told me some stuff about his parents fighting so maybe that’s keeping him up or something

SquipforPrez: woah not everything’s perfect in the McClain household?

Lance can see a few more messages calling Keith out on his comment but all he can focus on are those words. They repeat themselves in his head, over and over until he doesn’t think they’ll ever leave. Not everything’s perfect in the McClain household.

AP math is perhaps the most boring class Lance has ever had. He’s almost fallen asleep on his desk twice now and its only ten minutes into the lesson. He takes a quick glance down at his phone, noticing an abundance of texts from Pidge, Shiro and Hunk telling him all about how Keith was out of line and that they talked to him about it. Honestly Lance doesn’t even care about what Keith said. Hell he was completely right, it was the fear that they would find out what’s really wrong that had lance ignoring their messages.

It’s almost five minutes later when Lance gives up and opens the chats, sending quick assurances to the two that he’s fine. If there’s one thing Lance hates it’s when people are worried about him.

He’s about to close his phone and return to his boring math work when he receives a new message from the one and only Keith. Part of him says not to open it, that he has a right to be angry with the boy but a stronger part of him says that Keith wasn’t meaning for it to sound like that. One quiet whisper in the corner of his mind says he deserves it but he ignores it, he’s gotten good at ignoring that voice. From the corner of his eye he catches sight of the mullethead and upon seeing his begging face, sighs and checks to see what he said.

{SquipforPrez sent a private message to BlueSp00k}

SquipforPrez: im so sorry man I stg i didn’t mean it

BlueSp00k: Shouldn’t you be busy being surprised everything’s not ‘perfect’ in the McClain household?

SquipforPrez: lance im so sorry dude

SquipforPrez: I didn’t mean it like that

SquipforPrez: its just your always talking about how great your family is

SquipforPrez: and im a childish douchebag who cant just be happy that his friends are happy

SquipforPrez: it was a dick move to say that and ive been getting lectured all day about it

SquipforPrez: it was perhaps the most asshole move ive ever made and I regret ever even saying it

BlueSp00k: …..

BlueSp00k: I mean I wouldn’t say that was the most asshole thing you’ve said

BlueSp00k: you were kinda a dick before we became friends

SquipforPrez: yeah but its not like you were a fucking angel

BlueSp00k: ExcUSE

BlueSp00k: ill have you know I was the epitome of friendly

SquipforPrez: you were hitting on three girls at once

BlueSp00k: theres nothing wrong with flirting with multiple people

SquipforPrez: It was all in the same chatroom…

BlueSp00k: ………

SquipforPrez: ha I win

BlueSp00k: I mean sure you win the ‘who was more of an asshole adolescent award’

SquipforPrez: that doesn’t even make sense

BlueSp00k: shut up it makes loads of sense!

SquipforPrez: only to you doofus

BlueSp00k: OMG DUDE TOTAL EPIPHANY RN

SquipforPrez: ???

BlueSp00k: Imagine getting a QR code tattoo and when you die and they scan it they’ll get Rickroll’d

SquipforPrez: Lance dude go to bed

BlueSp00k: but what if

BlueSp00k: just imagine their faces

SquipforPrez: are you tired or high? I cant tell?

BlueSp00k: nah I don’t do drugs

BlueSp00k: apart from that one time I took some cold medicine when I wasn’t sick

SquipforPrez: badass

BlueSp00k: IKRRRR

SquipforPrez: now go to bed

BlueSp00k: cant im at school

SquipforPrez: sleep in the library

SquipforPrez: im serious

BlueSp00k: nah ill be fine until I get home

SquipforPrez: that’s five hours away

SquipforPrez: your gonna die

BlueSp00k: ah the sweet release of death I crave~

SquipforPrez: don’t morbidly meme me

BlueSp00k: u cant tell me wat to do mom!

SquipforPrez: im not mother

SquipforPrez: squip is mother

BlueSp00k: TRUE DAT

BlueSp00k: btw I don’t think ive complimented your new username yet

BlueSp00k: id say im proud but the squip was a condescending douchebag

SquipforPrez: YOU WANNA GO M8!!!!?

BlueSp00k: JEREMY HAD ANXIETY HE DIDN’T NEED THE SQUIP ADDING TO HIS SELF-HATRED

SquipforPrez: THE SQUIP WAS JUST BEHAVING AS HE WAS CREATED TO

SquipforPrez: AINT HIS FAULT THE ONLY WAY JEREMY WOULD GET LAID IS IF EVERYONE GOT SQUIPPED

BlueSp00k: BOI I WILL MESS U UP

BlueSp00k: JEREMY COULD GET ANYONE HE WANED

BlueSp00k: HE JUST DECIDED HE WANTED MY SWEET BEAN CHRISTINE

SquipforPrez: still salty he didn’t end up with Michael

BlueSp00k: SAME

BlueSp00k: theyre so gay for each other

SquipforPrez: ive never related more tbh

BlueSp00k: oooooooh whats that supposed to mean?

SquipforPrez: what?

BlueSp00k: did you just accidentally confess to liking someone??

SquipforPrez: ….

SquipforPrez: shit

BlueSp00k: Who?! Who?! Who?!

SquipforPrez: NOBODY!

BlueSp00k: NO ITS SOMEBODY!

SquipforPrez: fuck off I wasn’t planning on even telling you in the first place about this

BlueSpook: whaaaaat?! Whyyyyy

SquipforPrez: coz then id have to deal with your nonstop teasing and annoying pickup lines.

BlueSp00k: *whistles* well someone’s moody

BlueSp00k: ah gtg teacher’s searching the class for phones

BlueSp00k: bye Keithy ;^)

SquipforPrez: its Keith not Keithy

BlueSp00k: whatever you say loverboy~

Suffice to say Lance feels better after their talk, relieved that Keith so easily allowed them to go back to their usual banter. One of his biggest worries was that everyone would start treating him like cracked glass. Thankfully they seem to understand when he changes the subject, that’s gotten him out of a lot of close calls in which his problems would have been exposed.

But now, listening to Mr Sweats drone on about some complex math problem he can’t be bothered solving, Lance can feel his eyes sliding shut all on their own. On any other day he would have tried harder to stay awake, but his father was angry with him and he knows he’s going to need all the sleep he can get before he goes home this afternoon.

A mad father was one thing, Lance just hopes his mother isn’t home.

Chapter Text

{FoodNinja has changed the chat name to HELPPPP}

FoodNinja: OKAY SO WHOOPS

LendAHand: that sounds like a bad whoops

FoodNinja: HAHAHAHAHAHA

ImAPidgeon: Hunk what did you do?

FoodNinja: AAAAAAAAAAH

FoodNinja: WHY IS THE ONLY ONE OF US WITH ANY EXPERIENCE WITH GIRLS NOT ONLINE RN

ImAPidgeon: girls? Hunk wtf man

FoodNinja: SHAY ASKED ME TO THE MOVIES AND I TOTALLY BLANKED

FoodNinja: IVE FUCKED UP

ImAPidgeon: whos Shay?

SquipforPrez: Shay?

LendAHand: ooooooh some juicy goss

SquipforPrez: Shiro why

FoodNinja: shes this really pretty really sweet girl I met when Lance and I were getting ice cream the other day and she goes to our school and shes so freaking amazing and I really like her but I messed everything up by telling her that im super busy right now and now I need Lance to help me fix it PLEASEEEEE

ImAPidgeon: jesus Christ thats a mess

FoodNinja: : (

ImAPidgeon: ok I guess we need to find Lance

LendAHand: would he still be in school?

FoodNinja: school ended an hour ago and he doesn’t have extracurriculars

FoodNinja: ive tried texting him but he’s not picking up

FoodNinja: ugh great now im gonna lose my one chance at happiness and live alone as a hermit

LendAHand: Hunk just calm down im sure itll all be fine

FoodNinja: but what if it wont

BlueSp00k: hey guys sorry I was gone so long

FoodNinja: LANCE!!!!!

BlueSp00k: *finger guns*

FoodNinja: I messed up with Shayyyyyy

BlueSp00k: buddy ur fine

BlueSp00k: tell her u were nervous and read the wrong date for ur ‘plans’

FoodNinja: but if I say that ill look lame

BlueSp00k: Hunk man trust me

BlueSp00k: this girl is into u

BlueSp00k: u have my blessings

BlueSp00k: now go young padawan

SquipforPrez: is that gonna work?

BlueSp00k: hell yeah its gonna work

BlueSp00k: the dating world is the one place I can confidently give advice

FoodNinja: WERE GOIN OUT FO R BURGESR THIS FIRDYA1!1!!1!!!

BlueSp00k: told u u could do it

FoodNinja: IM GOING OUN A DATE?!?!?!

ImAPidgeon: that advice worked?

BlueSp00k: coarse it did

BlueSp00k: shit I gotta go

SquipforPrez: where?

BlueSp00k: sorry bye

FoodNinja: but Lance I need to scream to you

FoodNinja: Lance?

ImAPidgeon: well he left in a hurry

SquipforPrez: only just got here too

Keith furrows his eyebrows as he stares at the screen of his phone, confused about why Lance left. What could have made him leave so suddenly? A bad feeling started in Keith’s chest but he pushed it away. If something was wrong Lance would tell them, right? Right. He knows they’ll be there for him, no matter what.

FoodNinja: ok so what should I wear on the date???

Even if there was something wrong, they’d just have to wait for Lance to tell them.

Chapter Text

A hand reaches out to Lance and slaps the phone out of his hand, thankfully after he closed the group chat. That same hand grabs the collar of his shirt and pulls him to his feet, coming face to face with his father.

“You thought I’d forget about this morning? You disrespectful runt! After all I’ve done for you, you have the gal to talk back?!” His father shakes him roughly, leaving no room for the boy to speak. “You’re worthless! Useless! Good for nothing! You just sit in my home and eat my food! What do you have to say for yourself?!”

“N-nothing Papa”

“Callar! I’m going to hit you so hard, you’ll wish you were never born!” ‘Bit late for that’ Lance thinks but dutifully keeps his mouth shut like his father ordered and listens as the threats and insults pile up. “Feo baboso! You’re nothing more than scum!”

It surprises Lance when the first punch comes, his cheek feeling uncomfortably warm before the pain hits. If his father weren’t still holding the front of his shirt Lance is sure he would have been knocked onto his ass, but that isn’t the case for it seems his father has more in store.

He did, as it turns out. It’s nearly an hour later when Lance is finally left alone in his room, nothing more than a whimpering mess after his father’s punishment. The older man slams the door shut behind him with his last words being a warning for his son not to steal food tonight, as though feeding his children is such a difficult job for him to have to do.

“Que te den, cabrón” Lance mutters under his breath, being sure not to let his father hear. That’s the last thing he needs.

It takes some time and effort but Lance manages to drag himself over to his phone and unlock it, happy to find the group chat being spammed by Pidge’s memes. His friends always distract him from what’s really happening in his life, they pull him out of his dark thoughts and help him find reasons to keep going, even if they don’t know it.

He reads through what he’s missed, only feeling slightly guilty for leaving them so abruptly before he types in a greeting. Quickly he’s bombarded by texts and he can finally forget about his problems and be happy, if only for a moment.

ImAPidgeon: Lance!

FoodNinja: Dude youre back!

BlueSp00k: yea sorry Em spilled glitter everywhere

BlueSp00k: u no how much of a pain that is to clean

ImAPidgeon: lol sucks to be you

BlueSp00k: whaat? Are u kidding? Being me is great

BlueSp00k: with this beautiful face and my outstanding wit, the chicks just can’t stay away

BlueSp00k: or the dudes ; ^ )

ImAPidgeon: that’s pretty gay

SquipforPrez: coming from the lesbian

ImAPidgeon: SHUT UP YOU GAY

SquipforPrez: I WILL NOT BE SILENCED

FoodNinja: guys lets not fight

LendAHand: Hunk’s right guys

SquipforPrez: WE MUST BAND TOGETHER TO FIGHT THE HETEROS

ImAPidgeon: THE HOMO WILL PREVAIL

FoodNinja: im being ATTACKED

FoodNinja: Shiro help!!!

LendAHand: well look at the time I have a meeting with my fridge

FoodNinja: Lance help!

BlueSp00k: sorry bro the bi must not pick sides

BlueSp00k: we are at piece with both sexualities and can find ourselves a home in both worlds

ImAPidgeon: you get free cookies with us

BlueSp00k: tempting but no. u cant bribe the bi with things his bestie can make

ImAPidgeon: fuck you and your shitty spelling. Its peace not piece

BlueSp00k: its bitch not pidge!

ImAPidgeon: BITCH ISNT AN INSULT IF ITS HOW I IDENTIFY

BlueSp00k: SPELLING DOESN’T MATTER IF IM FUCKING SPANISH

ImAPidgeon: IT DOES MATTER YOU DOLT IT’S THE LANGUAGE PREFERENCE OF THE WORLD

BlueSp00k: YOURE A LANGUAGE PREFERENCE OF THE WORLD

ImAPidgeon: THANK YOU

BlueSp00k: UR FCKING WELCOME

SquipforPrez: im once again questioning why I chose you shits as my friends

LendAHand: oh please like u had other options

SquipforPrez: FUCK YOU I HAD LOTS OF OPTIONS

LendAHand: the conspiracy books u own don’t count

SquipforPrez: ……..

LendAHand: that’s what I thought

Chapter Text

Now some could say that Keith is a lone wolf. They wouldn’t be wrong. Others would say he’s a jerk. Once again not wrong. But what Keith must disagree with are the rumours about him not having any friends. He can safely say that Pidge, Hunk and Lance are his friends and his brother’s his friend. He doesn’t understand why they’re ignored for being smart. They treat his friends as though they don’t exist, when they about the only positive thing in Keith’s life.

Ah yes, positivity. It’s something he’s been chasing for years, ever since he entered middle school. Positivity and happiness, two things he’s wanted but has been refused for so many years. Of course he’s managed to find small moments where life isn’t shit but until now he hasn’t actually been happy. But now he has his friends, the ones his school feels the need to hate.

That’s how he ended up where he is now, hiding in a bathroom stall and trying to block out the shouts from in the hall. It’s a regular occurrence for Keith to be bullied by his classmates, it’s something he’s had to get used to since coming out as gay.

But this, now, is the worst that it’s been in a while. All he had wanted was to prove them wrong, to take pride in the people he has come to accept as part of his fam-….. Well as part of his life. A big part of his life. However it had all backfired, he’s not even sure what went wrong and it all happened so quickly. First he was gathering up the courage to walk over to Damien (his number one tormentor) and the next said boy was shoving him against a locker and calling him a fag.

God Keith hates that word. Fag. It’s just a word, why does it cut him so deep just hearing it? If the bell for class hadn’t rung Keith would have been given more than just as a shove but you wouldn’t see him complaining. He had ran off to the bathrooms and has been there ever since. It’s nearing the end of the day and he knows if Damien finds him then he won’t get out of it again. God why couldn’t he just be normal!

Normal. Whatever the fuck that is. All he knows is that everyone else is and he isn’t, therefore he must be the one who’s weird. He’s the one who needs help, he’s the one who’s out of the loop. He’s the one who needs to change. He needs to change to fit their standards or they won’t accept him. What complete bullshit. Why should he have to pretend to be something he’s not? Why should he hide who he is just to please people he doesn’t even like? Why would he do that when the people who really matter to him like him the way he is now?

Why the fuck would he give up what he already has?

Because all these people act like they know him, they act like he’s just some retard who can’t get his life under control but they’re wrong. He does have friends, he does have interests and they don’t know him at all. Yeah his life is a mess but whose isn’t? The point is that he’s trying and even when he has to deal with shit like Damien he hasn’t given up.

So Keith sits on the lid of a dingy school toilet and wipes his frustrated tears away because he refuses to cry over this shit again. Because Damien’s a dick, school sucks, people are terrible and he’ll always have to deal with the judgemental eyes on his back as they watch him kiss another man; but he has Pidge and Hunk, the two most amazing friends. He has Shiro, a brother who even though he isn’t always there will always have his back. And he has Lance, oh god how he loves that he has Lance. Lance the gorgeous boy he met over Spacehunt; a shitty game based off of their favourite show Voltron. Lance the hilarious boy who no matter what always manages to get Keith to crack a smile. Lance the very outspoken bisexual who Keith has become so very gay for. Lance who is unknowingly Keith’s support pillar.

God he’s so smitten for Lance.

Chapter Text

Maybe he should have thought more about how he was going to hide the very obvious injuries on his face but at the time all Lance could focus on was his friends. He can admit he regrets that now. It’s 8:46 and he’s already been asked about it countless times. He’s repeated the same lie; how he was riding his bike and lost control as he was going down a hill. People soaked it up quickly and it isn’t until he meets up with Hunk and the others during homeroom that he actually worries about it.

“Dude what happened to your face?!” Hunk asks, his eyes widening with concern. Lance gives him a smile.

“Lost control of my bike, no biggie.”

“No biggie? Lance you look like someone just beat you with a hammer.” He fights back a wince because he isn’t far from the truth and instead lets out a laugh.

“Nah you know me Pide, killer pain tolerance. You should have seen Ma’s face though, she flipped.”

“I’ll bet she did. Honestly if I was your parent I’d be exhausted. You’re so accident prone it’s unbelievable.” Another laugh, this one quieter.

“Yeah” and with that the subject is dropped. “Anyway so how’s Kalena doing?”

“Oh she’s fine. She had a bad cough over the weekend and yesterday Mum just wanted to make sure she’d be okay.”

“That’s good then, Emily wouldn’t stop talking about how boring it is without Kalena in class. Dios mio, is this how people feel when around us because now I’m rethinking every moment I’ve talked about you guys.” This earns a loud laugh from them and just like that their conversation seems to speed through, words coming easier without Hunk’s worry interfering. Honestly Lance loves the boy but his heart is too big. He doesn’t deserve such great friends.

Its lunchtime when the group have the chance to talk again, hiding themselves in the corner of the library and pulling their phones out.

“Ya know Hunk” Lance says offhandedly, “we spend more time talking to each other on the chat than in person.”

“Yeah I guess, but that’s because this school sucks and people would probably eavesdrop.” Lance gives a grunt of agreement before turning his attention to the chat.

{BlueSp00k sent a message to HELPPPP}

BlueSp00k: so how are ur days going?

ImAPidgeon: same as usual, making people jealous by being a genius

BlueSp00k: make me proud Pidgey

ImAPidgeon: >_>

BlueSp00k: wat about u Keith

BlueSp00k: how u doing

SquipforPrez: oh you know hiding in a bathroom coz our schools full of homophobes

SquipforPrez: also im pretty sure I just signed my own death wish so

FoodNinja: dude school sucks

SquipforPrez: no shit

BlueSp00k: to be fair tho all schools suck

BlueSp00k: god I hate highschool

SquipforPrez: god same

ImAPidgeon: did anyone see the application for the Garrison?!?!?!

ImAPidgeon: because this is some serious shit like wow!!!!

ImAPidgeon: theyre accepting a handful of students as scholars!!!!!

ImAPidgeon: I want in so bad!!!

BlueSp00k: go for it

BlueSp00k: ull totally get in

BlueSp00k: Hunk u and Keith should try for it 2

SquipforPrez: really??

BlueSp00k: hell yeah

BlueSp00k: if you guys got accepted into Garrison Tech then Ur futures would be solid

FoodNinja: well what about you

FoodNinja: you should try to get into the Garrison as well Lance

ImAPidgeon: Yeah!!! OMG GUYS WHAT IF WE ALL GOT IN JUST IMAGINE

ImAPidgeon: WED BE ATTENDING OUR DREAM SCHOOL TOGETHER

SquipforPrez: Pidge calm down we don’t even know if were all gonna apply

ImAPidgeon: YOUD FUCKING BETTER

ImAPidgeon: I WONT HAVE MY FRIENDS SELLING THEMSELVES SHORT

ImAPidgeon: YOUR ALL FUCKING BRILLIANT AND YOULL TOTALLY GET IN IF YOU TRY

BlueSp00k: wow Pidge careful ur turning soft

ImAPidgeon: IM NOT SOFT YOU HALF EATEN CHEESE STICK

FoodNinja: don’t worry Lance is just saying that to distract you from the fact that hes currently crying beside me

FoodNinja: praise kink?

BlueSp00k: fuk u 2 buddy

FoodNinja: no thanks that’s gay

BlueSp00k: DUD U JUTS

SquipforPrez: omg Hunk

ImAPidgeon: YOU JUST SASSED HIM OMG

BlueSp00k: HUNK IM SO PROUD?????

BlueSp00k: like were gonna talk about ur attitude later young man but you just gave me sass

BlueSp00k: it only took 7 years of friendship

FoodNinja: guys>.<

ImAPidgeon: we’ve done it. We’ve corrupted the pure

SquipforPrez: all we need is the blood of a virgin and the ritual is complete

FoodNinja: use Lance

BlueSp00k: HUNK

ImAPidgeon: IM SCREAMING OMG

SquipforPrez: screenshots have been taken

FoodNinja: ^.^

BlueSp00k: don’t use ur cutesy emoticons on me

FoodNinja: ^.^

FoodNinja: I love you guys!

BlueSp00k: ……fuck

ImAPidgeon: HISS

SquipforPrez: ew feelings

BlueSp00k: lol wat r those

FoodNinja: god Nevermind I take it back

Chapter Text

{ImAPidgeon sent a message to HELPPPP}

LendAHand: jfc I go to work and come back to this

LendAHand: I missed savage Hunk how unfair

BlueSp00k: sucks to b u brochacho

ImAPidgeon: but you were the one being insulted

BlueSp00k: ….

BlueSp00k: tath was my clone

BlueSp00k: Lonce

SquipforPrez: Lonce?

BlueSp00k: yes

ImAPidgeon: ok yall I sent in my application

FoodNinja: so did I

FoodNinja: Lance? Keith?

BlueSp00k: Pidge did you just unironicaly use ‘yall’

ImAPidgeon: so what if I did

BlueSp00k: stop trying to be Texan

BlueSp00k: thats Keiths job

SquipforPrez: howdy

ImAPidgeon: so did you guys apply for the Garrison???

SquipforPrez: yep

ImAPidgeon: Lance?

BlueSp00k: idk if I should….

ImAPidgeon: WHAT

BlueSp00k: don’t get mad

BlueSp00k: its just maybe its better if I just stick to normal school

BlueSp00k: im not like u guys

FoodNinja: Lance c’mon man

ImAPidgeon: SHUT YOUR FACE

ImAPidgeon: LANCE MCCLAIN YOU ARE A GENIUS AND I WONT HAVE YOU TALKING SHIT ABOUT YOURSELF

ImAPidgeon: THE GARRISON IS THE PERFECT PLAEC FOR YOU AND YOU WOULD BE ACCEPTED SO FAST I STG

ImAPidgeon: THIS SCHOOL WOULD BE LUCKY TO HAVE YOU

LendAHand: ok Pidge is right but in a less aggressive way

LendAHand: Lance your really smart. Maybe you can’t see it but you are and if you applied then this would be everything you would need for your future

FoodNinja: yeah man ive known you all my life, youre insanely smart

SquipforPrez: what they said

BlueSp00k: thanks guys

FoodNinja: please please please apply for the Garrison???

FoodNinja: even if you don think youll get in at least youll have the chance

ImAPidgeon: they worded it better than me but yeah

BlueSp00k: ok fien ill apply

ImAPidgeon: WOOOOO

SquipforPrez: Yeet

FoodNinja: …...

LendAHand: …….

ImAPidgeon: ……

BlueSp00k: im sh00k!!!

SquipforPrez: what?

BlueSp00k: you just did a internet

BlueSp00k: :3

SquipforPrez: ?????

BlueSp00k: accept my praise Keith

SquipforPrez: fine god

BlueSp00k: yay!

ImAPidgeon: ew

FoodNinja: c’mon Pidge leave them alone

Bluesp00k: ??

SquipforPrez: ???

LendAHand: ah young love

SquipforPrez: WHAT

SquipforPrez: HAHAHA WTF YOU TALKING ABOUT OLD MAN

FoodNinja: you guys are adorable~~~

BlueSp00k: ahem

BlueSp00k: like you and Shay?

{FoodNinja has left the chat}

BlueSp00k: thats what I thought

ImAPidgeon: he fought in a war he wouldn’t win

ImAPidgeon: rip Hunk

{BlueSp00k has added FoodNinja to the chat}

BlueSp00k: boi wear the f u goin

SquipforPrez: **where

BlueSp00k: HOW DARE

BlueSp00k: I FOUGHT FOR YOU KEITH

SquipforPrez: you should fight for English lessons

BlueSp00k: YOU SHOULD FUCK OFF

SquipforPrez: salty much

BlueSp00k: DON’T SPEAK TO ME U ANGST TRAIN

SquipforPrez: dumbass

BlueSp00k: ugly mullet!

ImAPidgeon: Hunk look they have pet names

ImAPidgeon: fangirl with me

FoodNinja: no im scared he’ll make fun of me again

BlueSp00k: naw buddy~

BlueSp00k: Ill do that anyway

SquipforPrez: watch your backs im hunting you down

BlueSp00k: yaas Keith avenge my dignity

SquipforPrez: what dignity

BlueSp00k: *SCREECHES*

Chapter Text

{ImAPidgeon changed their name to ImSoGay}

SquipforPrez: relatable

ImSoGay: omg guys help me

ImSoGay: I saw this super pretty girl at the mall today

ImSoGay: and she started talking to me???

SquipforPrez: so whats the problem?

ImSoGay: BC SHES FUCKING GORGEOS OMG I ALMOST HAD A HAERTATTAKC

BlueSp00k: my time has finally come

BlueSp00k: **gorgeous **heart attack

FoodNinja: Ooooh nice one Lance

ImSoGay: excuse me im trying to pine my ass off over here

BlueSp00k: I wont apologise

BlueSp00k: I saw my chance and I took it

BlueSp00k: revenge is best served in pieces

BlueSp00k: soon enough ur going to regret everything uve ever said to me

ImSoGay: right….. anyway so im dying and this girl is perfect how do I socialise not-awkwardly

SquipforPrez: youre asking your socially awkward internet friends how to not act awkwardly in a social situation?

ImSoGay: ……..point taken

ImSoGay: Keith pls help me : (

SquipforPrez: ew girls

ImSoGay: Shiro?

LendAHand: fuck off im busy adulting

ImSoGay: Hunk?

FoodNinja: sorry Pidge you saw how bad I was with Shay. If anything I’ll make the situation worse

ImSoGay: …..

BlueSp00k: well well looks like theres only one option left

ImSoGay: *sigh* Lance will you help me not fuck up with this cute girl?

BlueSp00k: SINCE YOU ASKED SO NICELY!!!

BlueSp00k: ask her if she likes spiderman

ImSoGay: what? Why?

BlueSp00k: cos if she does then you can invite her to go see the movie together

ImSoGay: that… she… we… what?

BlueSp00k: so whens the date?

ImSoGay: next Friday after school….

BlueSp00k: ur welcome

----------------------------------------

{FoodNinja has changed their name to Mr.Lucky}

BlueSp00k: I take it the date went well then?

Mr.Lucky: holy crow Lance I really really like Shay

BlueSp00k: then tell her

Mr.Lucky: but what if she thinks im too clingy?

BlueSp00k: Hunk my dude my main man my pal my bro

BlueSp00k: she agreed to go on a date for a reason

BlueSp00k: that reason is because she likes u

BlueSp00k: so text her and say that u had a great time and ud like to do it again soon

SquipforPrez: where the hell is all this dating advice coming from?

BlueSp00k: experience

SquipforPrez: you mean you’ve dated someone before?

BlueSp00k: only one serious relationship but that ended a while ago. Most of the time I go on a few dates and then we call it off

SquipforPrez: what why?

BlueSp00k: because theyre not the right people for me and im not right for them

BlueSp00k: why are you so suddenly interested in my love life?

SquipforPrez: im just surprised you have one

LendAHand: careful Keith I can smell the jealousy from Italy

BlueSp00k: ???youre not in Italy???

SquipforPrez: Shiro I will end you

BlueSp00k: jealousy?

ImSoGay: Keith is the kind of jelly

ImSoGay: **king

BlueSp00k: omg Keith!!

SquipforPrez: shit

BlueSp00k: ur jealous that the guy u like hasnt made a move aren’t u? ;^)

BlueSp00k: fear not young one ur time will come

{GayFuck sent a private message to LesboShit}

GayFuck: I can’t…

LesboShit: jfc hes oblivious

LesboShit: be honest are you crying?

GayFuck: just a little

----------------------------------------------

{BlueSp00k has sent a message to HELPPPP}

BlueSp00k: so a hot guy just gave me his number??

ImSoGay: holy quiznak

ImSoGay: are yoou gonna call him?

BlueSp00k: idk?

Bluesp00k: I mean his face is a fucking blessing from th gods

{BlueSp00k has sent a photo}

LendAHand: wow

SquipforPrez: hes not that hot

ImSoGay: are you kidding me? Dude im very gay and even I cant deny his face has been crafted by a deity

BlueSp00k: right?

BlueSp00k: ok im gonna message him

Mr.Lucky: good luck buddy

{Lancelot has sent a message to AlexanderHam?}

Lancelot: uh hi this is Lance from earlier today?

AlexanderHam?: ph Lance hey!

AlexanderHam?: hold on just let me fix my name

{AlexanderHam? Has changed their name to Avocado}

Lancelot: avocado?

Avocado: that’s me

Avocado: im glad you texted me, I was scared you wouldn’t at first

Lancelot: really? I was trying to build up enough courage to text you all day XD

Avocado: well I guess it’s a good thing you did

Avocado: now we can get to know each other better

Lancelot: wanna play twenty questions?

Avocado: sure you go first

Lancelot: ok whats with AlexanderHam?

Avocado: oh that. My sister is really into Hamilton and she’s the one who made my account so I’m stuck with it

Lancelot: fair enough

Avocado: my turn. Are you single?

Lancelot: wow youre pretty forward

Avocado: is that a yes or no?

Lancelot: yes Im single

Avocado: wanna go on a date?

Lancelot: pretty sure its my question

Avocado: my apologies good sir

Lancelot: you are forgiven

Lancelot: whys your name avocado?

Avocado: well theyre hard and sturdy on the ouside but inside theyre super mushy and soft

Avocado: jk I just like avocados

Lancelot: I mean avocados are great

Avocado: so you want to go on a date?

Lancelot: I admire your dedication

Lancelot: a date would be nice

Avocado: cool. Lets meet up at the ice cream stand tomorrow

Lancelot: that works for me

Lancelot: I have to go by Alex

Avocado: bye Lance : )

{BlueSp00k has sent a message to HELPPPP}

BlueSp00k: welp

FoodNinja: good welp or bad welp?

BlueSp00k: Good welp. Very good welp.

ImSoGay: oh shit proper grammar and everything

ImSoGay: it went that well?

BlueSp00k: we’re going on a date tomorrow

SquipforPrez: tomorrow? That’s uh really quick

BlueSp00k: is it?

LendAHand: don’t listen to him we’re really happy for you Lance

BlueSp00k: yeah, im gonna go organise an outfit brb

{LesboShit has sent a message to GayFuck}

LesboShit: dude I get that you like him but you need to be supportive

GayFuck: how can I be supportive if the guy ive been pining over for 3 fucking years announces hes going on a date with some attractive dude he just met?!

LesboShit: look Keith I get it, this sucks for you

LesboShit: but you know how Lance can get

LesboShit: if he sees one of us is negative about his relationship hes going to start overreacting and then blame himself for shit he didn’t even do

GayFuck: I know

LesboShit: listen maybe just dm him more often, ask how his day has been

LesboShit: the more involved you are in his life, the more he’ll realise how fucking awesome you are

GayFuck: k im gonna go eat ice cream and sulk now

LesboShit: have fun buddy

Chapter Text

SquipforPrez: I just don’t think a date straight away is a good idea

SquipforPrez: I mean he knows nothing about this guy

LendAHand: Keith…

{ImSoGay has changed SquipforPrez’s name to JellyBean}

JellyBean: bitch

{JellyBean has changed their name to EmoSoul}

EmoSoul: Im not jealous guys

ImSoGay: sure

EmoSoul: IM NOT

Mr.Lucky: Keith you’ve been talking to us about this date for the lats two hours

Mr.Lucky: and even if you are jealous (which you are) you can’t interfere

Mr.Lucky: Lance really likes this guy so we have to like him as well

EmoSoul: but what if we turns out to be a dick

ImSoGay: then we have a valid reason to commit homicide

LendAHand: but other than that there’s not much we can do

ImSoGay: in other news the hot girl I wetn to the movies with texted me

ImSoGay: I was gonna wait till Lance got back but Im kinda really excited so

ImSoGay: she asked me out on a proper date

ImSoGay: as in she said “dress nice, I’m taking you out to dinner”

ImSoGay: is this the world’s way of saying I wont go to hell

EmoSoul: no im pretty sure your atheist soul is going to hell

ImSoGay: fuk uyo

EmoSoul: im happy for you Pidge

{BlueSp00k has sent a message to HELPPPP}

BlueSp00k: there are tears

EmoSoul: what happened

EmoSoul: did he do something to you

EmoSoul: say the word and ill sprint over to beat his ass

BlueSp00k: ….

BlueSp00k: not that your protectiveness isn’t flattering but wtf dude

LendAHand: what Keith means to say is

LendAHand: how did the date go Lance?

BlueSp00k: amazing??

BlueSp00k: likethis guy is somehow perfect?

BlueSp00k: he bought us icecream and we walked around the park, then he took me to the market and got me a keychin

BlueSp00k: “something to remember this day by”

BlueSp00k: HES SO FRIVKEN SWEEET

ImSoGay: are you gonna go out again?

BlueSp00k: hopefully

BlueSp00k: I mean if he wants to

BlueSp00k: oh god what if I read this whole situation wrong and he doesn’t really like me and all he wants is to be friends or to fuck I mean im not ready f that kid of shit what if I dissapoi t him oh god oh dog oh god

EmoSoul: Lance youre overthinking this

EmoSoul: this Alex guy asked you on a date because he likes you

EmoSoul: hed be an idiot not to

EmoSoul: take your own relationship advice yeah?

BlueSp00k: ….

Mr.Lucky: ….

LendAHand: ….

ImSoGay: ….

EmoSoul: shit

BlueSp00k: Keith~~~~~

EmoSoul: fuck off

BlueSp00k: that was so sweet :^3

EmoSoul: I take it back

EmoSoul: I said nothing

BlueSp00k: u said everything

EmoSoul: you have no proof

ImSoGay: I took screenshots

EmoSoul: GUCK YOU PIDGE

{Avocado has sent a message to Lancelot}

Avocado: hey I had a really nice time today

Lancelot: me too :^)

Avocado: I was um wondering if… maybe we could meet up again sometine?

Lancelot: well if my schedule allows- oh look im free everyday for the next year

Avocado: haha good

Avocado: so wyd

Lancelot: switching between talking with u and talking with my friends

Lancelot: hbu

Avocado: puzzling over how youre talking to all of us at the same time

Lancelot: well im a gr8 multi-tasker ;^)

Avocado: youre adorable

Lancelot: is it hot in here or is that me blushing?

Avocado: the only hot thing here is you

Lancelot: *dies*

Avocado: noooooo

Avocado: *revives*

Lancelot: …. *dies*

Avocado: *revives*

Lancelot: *ultra dies*

Avocado: *infinite revives*

Lancelot: well damn

Lancelot: u done did got me there

Avocado: ; )

{BlueSp00k sent an image to HELPPPP}

BlueSp00k: so this happened

Mr.Lucky: ship

ImSoGay: ship

EmoSoul: “ultra dies” relatable

ImSoGay: hey shitbags did you all send your applications in to the garrison?

ImSoGay: coz theyre closing them in a week

FoodNinja: yup

EmoSoul: yeah

BlueSp00k: yasss

ImSoGay: … Everytime you say ‘yasss’ you die five years younger

BlueSp00k: yasss

BlueSp00k: yasss

EmoSoul: yasss

EmoSoul: yasss

EmoSoul: yasss

BlueSp00k: yasss

BlueSp00k: yasss

LendAHand: ……….yass

Mr.Lucky: ok we get it you want death

Mr.Lucky: you depressing little twits

BlueSp00k: *gasp* Hunk!

BlueSp00k: watch ur language young man

Mr.Lucky: yes mom

BlueSp00k: jokes on u because ur mom is amazing

BlueSp00k: that woman is a saint

ImSoGay: true

EmoSoul: he’s not wrong

BlueSp00k: see even Keith thinks so

Mr.Lucky: I never disagreed with you

Mr.Lucky: I freaking love my mum

Mr.Lucky: she’s fierce

BlueSp00k: rawr~

LendAHand: Lance please don’t bring that back

BlueSp00k: Dad is Tired™

LendAHand: I’m not your dad

LendAHand: stop calling me that

ImSoGay: but Dad….

EmoSoul: you can’t just abandon us…

LendAHand: Keith I’m literally your brother wtf

BlueSp00k: would it make u feel better to be called Daddy?

{LendAHand has left the group chat}

{BlueSp00k has added ShiroGONE to the group chat}

BlueSp00k: c’mon Shiro u know better than to try and leave

ShiroGONE: sigh

ShiroGONE: now I don’t even have my name

ImSoGay: oh let me fix that for you

{ImSoGay has changed ShiroGONE’s name to Dad}

Dad: really?

BlueSp00k: ur right it’s a bit boring

{BlueSp00k has changed Dad’s name to Dad-senpai}

Mr.Lucky: perfect

EmoSoul: there’s…..no words to describe how beautiful tis is

Dad-senpai: I hate you all

Dad-senpai: I wish for death upon you all

BlueSp00k: hey u and me both buddy

Mr.Lucky: Lance…

ImSoGay: dude you good?

BlueSp00k: fine y?

EmoSoul: because you sounded super depressing just now?

Dad-senpai: Lance are you feeling okay?

BlueSp00k: guys im fine chill

BlueSp00k: so I made one self-deprecating joke it doesn’t mean anything

BlueSp00k: worry-warts

Dad-senpai: ok…

BlueSp00k: so who actually took notes in Iverson’s class today?

BluSp00k: coz I sure didn’t

Chapter Text

{BlueSp00k has sent a message to HELPPPP}

BlueSp00k: why don’t we have any friends

EmoSoul: literally the reason we’re all in a group chat together

BlueSp00k: no I mean

BlueSp00k: outside of the five of us

BlueSp00k: I know that we all know people

BlueSp00k: so why don’t we talk with them?

ImSoGay: are

ImSoGay: are you suggesting we add to this mess of a chat?

BlueSp00k: yes Pidgeon yes I am

EmoSoul: and who pray tell are we adding?

EmoSoul: what ‘other friends’ do you have?

{BlueSp00k has added LaLaLLura, Coranic and Matththhthhhthhew to HELPPPP}

ImSoGay: why the hell did you add Matt?!

Matththhthhhthhew: well if it isn’t my favourite Pidgey!

LaLaLLura: I’m confused, what am I doing here?

Coranic: I’m also questioning my presence here

BlueSp00k: sup fam I, Lance have graced you all with a place in the group chat

{LaLaLLura has left the group chat}

BlueSp00k: bitch

{BlueSp00k has added LaLaLLura to the group chat}

BlueSp00k: ungrateful little shit

Coranic: Lance my boy!

BlueSp00k: Coran!!!

Coranic: how have you been?

BlueSp00k: *thumbs up*

BlueSp00k: yo everyone who don’t know, this is Coran he’s my kind of uncle

EmoSoul: kind of?

Coranic: Well you see, technically speaking Lance and I aren’t related, however I have known him for most of his life and used to be kind good friends of his parents

Coranic: we still ‘hang’ as you young’uns would say

BlueSp00k: Allura is Coran’s niece so we grew up together

ImSoGay: oooh what was Lance like as a kid?!

LaLaLLura: adorable

LaLaLLura: I don’t know what went wrong

ImSoGay: so how the fuck do you know my brother?

Matththhthhhthhew: he saved me from drowning a couple months ago no shit

EmoSoul: im sorry what

ImSoGay: WAIT SO WHEN YOU SAID YOU FELL INTO A FUCKING PUDDLE YOU MEAN TO TELL ME YOU ALMOST DIED?!?!?

Matththhthhhthhew: wow tough crowd

Matththhthhhthhew: yeah. Then when we talked I learned that Lance is a pretty chill dude so we exchanged facebooks and here we are

BlueSp00k: we meme together

EmoSoul: jesus Christ

Matththhthhhthhew: no just Matt

LaLaLLura: so these are the infamous friends you’ve been speaking about?

BlueSp00k: not all of them

BlueSp00k: Hunk’s at a study group and who knows where Shiro is

ImSoGay: enjoying some peace and quiet away from his children

LaLaLLura: children?

ImSoGay: us. We’re the children. Hes honorary father of the group

Matththhthhhthhew: wait Shiro as in Takashi?

EmoSoul: you know my brother?

Matththhthhhthhew: he’s your brother?

ImSoGay: ughhhhhhh this is a mess

Coranic: I agree strange person ive never personally met

-------------------------------

{Mr.Lucky has sent a message to HELPPPP}

Mr.Lucky: im gone for an hour and we suddenly have three new members and 400 new messages?

Dad-senpai: sweet lord jesus save me

LaLaLLura: HUNK!!!

Mr.Lucky: Allura!!!!

Dad-senpai: who?

Mr.Lucky: Lance’s kind of cousin

Dad-senpai: right…

--------------------------------------

BlueSp00k: so now that everyone’s on track

BlueSp00k: I have one more friend to add

EmoSoul: should we be worried?

{BlueSp00k has added LiteralSunshine to the group chat}

BlueSp00k: This is Shay everyone!!!

Mr.Lucky: SHAY

LiteralSunshine: HUNK

ImSoGay: wait Hunk’s girlfriend Shay?

BlueSp00k: the very same

Dad-senpai: Lance how the fuck

BlueSp00k: hey I’ll have you know that I’m a very fun person

BlueSp00k: lots of people enjoy my company, right Shay?

LiteralSunshine: of course Lance, you’re quite funny

Mr.Lucky: wait the two of you hang out together?

BlueSp00k: if by hang out you mean ‘meet up to discuss how she will never hurt you and then end up getting caught up with our shared adoration with you’ then yeah

LiteralSunshine: Lance and I eventually started coffee dates to talk about how you’ve been

BlueSp00k: I gave her advice for your dates together

LiteralSunshine: we’ve really bonded as friends

BlueSp00k: she has my approval

ImSoGay: oh that’s cool then

LaLaLLura: hello Shay, we simply must meet up together with Lance and chat

LiteralSunshine: it could be like a girl’s day!

LaLaLLura: Pidge you’re welcome to come along also

ImSoGay: uh maybe?

EmoSoul: wtf has happened to this chat

Dad-senpai: idk but its become an even bigger disaster

Matththhthhhthhew: I resent thtat

Matththhthhhthhew: any chat with me in it is a gr8 chat

Dad-senpai: yeahhhhhh no

Matththhthhhthhew: don’t be a TakaSHIT

BlueSp00k: oooh nice one Matt! *high five*

Matththhthhhthhew: *high five*

ImSoGay: disgusting they’re both so cringeworthy that they’re instantly perfect friends

BlueSp00k: watch it Pidge, Matt’s got so much dirt on u

Matththhthhhthhew: you were simply the cutest baby, were’nt you Gremlin?

{ImSoGay has changed their name to Gremlin}

Gremlin: what a sweet nickname

Gremlin: Ill cherish it forever

Matththhthhhthhew: youre a pain in my ass

Gremlin: you are an ass

Dad-senpai: ah siblings, can’t live without them

EmoSoul: I mean I could live without mine

Dad-senpai: ex-fucking-cuse me

Mr.Lucky: c’mon guys let’s not fight

LiteralSunshine: Hunk’s right, why don’t we all make up!

Matththhthhhthhew: Gremlin…

Gremlin: Mattatta

Matththhthhhthhew: are we bringing out the pokemon names now?

Matththhthhhthhew: Pidgey?

{Gremlin has changed their name to Pidgeot}

{ Matththhthhhthhew has changed their name to Mattatta}

LiteralSunshine: this isn’t what I had in mind by making up…

Pidgeot: nah were cool now, rite?

Mattatta: chill

BlueSp00k: why must u change ur names so much?

BlueSp00k: u should feel happy being who u are

Pidgeot: bitch just because you’ve had the same username since you were twelve

BlueSp00k: bitch atleast I aint twelve

{Pidgeot changed EmoSoul’s name to Skuntank}

Skuntank: fuck you im not a skuntank

{Skuntank has changed their name to Zorua}

Pidgeot: naw that’s adorable

Zorua: most badass pokemon

Mr.Lucky: now I want in on this!

{Mr.Lucky has changed their name to Ursaring}

Mattatta: fam where you @

LaLaLLura: well I don’t know much about pokemon but

{LaLaLLura has changed their name to Cresselia}

BlueSp00k: Allura not u 2!

Cresselia: my apologies Lance but I do love this pokemon!

{Coranic has changed their name to Watchog}

BlueSp00k: Coran!!!

Dad-senpai: finally a chance to escape my name

{Dad-senpai changed their name to Tyrunt}

Mattatta: bitch no you aint

Tyrunt: I am fierce

Mattatta: yeah and Im straight

{Mattatta changed Tyrunt’s name to Aipom}

BlueSp00k: sigh

BlueSp00k: Shay aren’t u going to change ur name?

LiteralSunshine: well you see I don’t actually know much about pokemon

Pidgeot: theres literally the perfect pokemon for you hold on

{Pidgeot has changed LiteralSunshine’s name to Sunflora}

BlueSp00k: I cant even deny how well that fits

Pidgeot: c’mon Lance complete the group

Mattatta: friends who meme together stay together

BlueSp00k: but I like my name:-(

Pidgeot: dude why its from your cringier days

BlueSp00k: yeah but its

Zorua: its?

Ursaring: Lance buddy?

BlueSp00k: forget it just something stupid

BlueSp00k: Emotionally attached y’know

{BlueSp00k has changed their name to Quagsire}

Pidgeot: YO WE JUST GOT LANXCE TO CHANGE HIS NAME WTF

Pidgeot: AND TO QUAGSIRE

Pidgeot: HOLY LORD IF IM DREAMING PLEASE DON’T WAKE ME

Pidgeot: Ive known you for 4 years and not once have you changed your name

Mattatta: lets give a big round of applause to Lance!

Quagsire: lol no

Quagsire: whoop parentals are home gtg

Ursaring: why?

Quagsire: they asked me to help them out with some stuff no biggie

Watchog: really?

Quagsire: yup just some chores around the house you know the deal

Quagsire: stupid parent stuff

Quagsire: anyway I really need to go now so baiiii

Cresselia: I call bullshit

Watchog: yes it does seem unlikely that his parents were asking for his aid

Ursaring: nah relax guys this happens all the time

Pidgeot: Lance’s parents need to talk to him or he has to take care of his siblings

Zorua: or he has to make dinner coz his parents are working late

Watchog: I see…

Sunflora: that’s how it is in big families I suppose

Sunflora: everyone needs to pitch in

-------------------------------------

Zorua: hey Lance…

Zorua: are you a Pikachu? Because you are shockingly beautiful.

Zorua: I think I need a paralyse heal because you’re stunning!

Zorua: You’re more beautiful than a Beautifly.

---------------------------------------

Lance could honestly say he was petrified when he heard his Mama enter the house. She had been away on a business trip for the week but apparently had decided to come home early. That only meant one thing…

“Lanzo! Get your lazy ass down here!” Meekly he ducks his head and pads down the stairs, knowing by now that being quiet is the easier option. “Ah there you are. What took you so long?”

Lance can admit that his Mama is physically very attractive. He gets his tan skin from her, along with his curvy eyebrows, triangular face and blue eyes. The only thing to really set the two apart is her stern frown that she seems to constantly hold on her lips.

That frown is the barrier that separates her real personality and the mask she lets the outside world see. Underneath her frown is a bubbling pit of hatred, aimed directly at her son.

“Lanzo, your father told me about your behaviour while I was gone. What do you have to say for yourself?”

“Nothing Mama, there is no excuse.”

“No there isn’t. Come, let’s go down to the basement and chat.” Lance has to hold back a flinch when his Mama guides him to the stairs by the shoulder. The basement is the only place where no sound gets out.

------------------------------------------

Quagsire: Keith what?

Zorua: ah so you’ve responded

Quagsire: what are you doing?

Zorua: well I saw you were kind of upset and pick up lines always seem to cheer you up so…

Quagsire: did

Quagsire: did you google pokemon pickup lines?

Quagsire: to make me feel better?

Zorua: is that weird?

Quagsire: no it’s the nicest thing ever

Zorua: did it work?

Quagsire: ???

Zorua: do you feel better?

Quagsire: no

Quagsire: because now I feel outdone

Quagsire: I am the ultimate flirt

Zorua: idk I had some pretty good lines

Quagsire: you put the “cool” in Tentacool

Zorua: weak

Quagsire: r00d

Quagsire: if I were a Clefairy I’d DOUBLE-SLAP that ass

Zorua: bold but I’ll allow it

Quagsire: Are you a Hitmonlee? ‘Coz you’re body is kickin’

Quagsire: Did you use CONFUSE ray? Because you’re making me dizzy

Quagsire: starMiE and starYU belong together, do you get the message?

Quagsire: I think I'm going to need a Burn Heal because you're hot

Zorua: okay okay you get your title back

Quagsire: whoop!

Zorua: …

Zorua: hey Lance

Quagsire: ???

Zorua: Are you from the Hoenn Region? 'Cuz you're the only HO I see

Quagsire: BINCH THAT’S NT A FJICMKJF FJHJKD

Zorua: ;)

Chapter Text

{Quagsire has changed the group chat name to The Nerd Herd}

Zorua: why the change?

Quagsire: because we’re a bunch of nerds

Pidgeot: hey!

Mattatta: I resent that!

Quagsire: we all changed our names to pokemon

Quagsire: plus I had a Poke Pick-Up Line war last night wih Keith

Mattatta: …I accept that

Pidgeot: with Keith eh? ;)

Zorua: don’t make it weird

Ursaring: guys shouldn’t we be getting ready for school?

Aipom: exacty stop interrupting my sleep

Cresselia: actually I think its quite nice that they check in with th group chat before leaving in the mornings

Cresselia: its always nice to know how they are

Quagsire: speaking of the chat

Quagsire: I was wondering if it was okay with u guys

Quagsire: if I could add Alex to the chat

Sunflora: who’s Alex?

Pidgeot: Lance’s boyfriend

Cresselia: oh I think that would be a splendid idea!

Zorua: really?

Quagsire: I wont if u guys aren’t ok with it

Aipom: go ahead Lance we’d all like to meet him

{Quagsire has added AlexanderHam? to The Nerd Herd}

Quagsire: guys this is Alex

Ursaring: hi Alex! I’m Hunk!

Aipom: I’m Shiro, it’s great to finally meet you

Pidgeot: Pidge

Mattatta: Matt

Sunflora: I’m Shay!

Cresselia: Hello, I’m Allura. It’s nice to see that Lance wasn’t lying about having a boyfriend;)

Watchog: Coran, Lance has told me a lot about you

AlexanderHam?: its nice to meet everyone

Quagsire: is Keith here?

Pidgeot: probably but he’s being a sulky bitch

Quagsire: osunds about rite

AlexanderHam?: wow so this is the famous group of friends I’ve been told so much about

AlexanderHam?: Lance speaks very highly of you all

AlexanderHam?: it’s a shame I couldn’t meet Keith though

Quagsire: Alex!!!!

Pidgeot: oh? Whys that?

AlexanderHam?: well out of all of you Lance spoke about him the most

AlexanderHam?: I would have liked to see if hes really as cool as Lance led me to believe ;)

Zorua: of course I am

Zorua: whatever he said is true

Zorua: he knows all of my dirty secrets and I hate it

Quagsire: Keith!!

Zorua: Lance

Quagsire: u could atleast pretend to be excited to see me :^(

Zorua: sigh

Zorua: LANCEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Zorua: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pidgeot: I hate you all

AlexanderHam?: haha I guess he was right then

AlexanderHam?: there really are people who can match his personality

Quagsire: Alex:^(

AlexanderHam?: don’t be sad babe

Quagsire: <3

AlexanderHam?: <3

Pidgeot: ew romance

Quagsire: says Miss Second Date

Quagsire: how did that go anyway?

Pidgeot: I stg I will castrate you

Quagsire: ah so it went well then?

Pidgeot: …fucking….yes

Cresselia: oh did you kiss?!

Pidgeot: ALLURA YOU CANT JUST ASK EOPLE THAYT

Cresselia: So you did!!!!!

Zorua: is she as short as you or did she have to bend down to reach you?

Pidgeot: Keith don’t be a little shit

Zorua: youre right that’s your job

Pidgeot: I hate this family

Quagsire: so how does Matt feel about you getting a girlfriend?

Pidgeot: SHES NOT MY GIRLFREND

Mattatta: Thank you for asking my opinion on this Lance

Mattatta: Pidge I’m afraid you cant bring this girl home with you

Pidgeot: what? Why not?

Aipom: Matt….

Mattatta: coz shell take one look at me and turn straight;))))))

Pidgeot: …..

Aipom: …..

Quagsire: …..

Zorua: …..

Ursaring: …..

Sunflora: ……

Cresselia: ……

Watchog: *universal sigh*

Mattatta: what? C’mon that was good!!

AlexanderHam?: haha

Mattatta: see? Alex liked it

Mattatta: Alex youre my only frien nw

AlexanderHam?: oh?

Quagsire: hiss

Quagsire: my bf

Pidgeot: hey Lance did you remember to do your geography hw?

Quagsire: …..

Zorua: god damnit Lance

Quagsire: to be fair I was a bit distracted

AlexanderHam?: ;)

Cresselia: tmi

Pidgeot: ew

Aipom: nopeing out of that one

Zorua: *gags*

Quagsire: kinky

Mattatta: that’s rich coming from you

Quagsire: exCUsE

AlexanderHam?: I mean he’s not wrong babe

Quagsire: Betrayal

{Quagsire has changed AlexanderHam?’s name to CUTEcumber}

CUTEcumber: this isn’t insulting

Quagsire: I know ;^)

*Zorua: ….

CUTEcumber: you’re adorable<3

Pidgeot: jc guys

Quagsire: what?

Pidgeot: save it for the pm

Pidgeot: we don’t want your sexting in here

Quagsire: we’re not sexting

Pidgeot: look Lance we get it you’ve got a bf now

Pidgeot: whoop de doo

Quagsire: hold on babe

{Quagsire has kicked CUTEcumber out of the chat}

Quagsire: that’s not what this was

Quagsire: what’s wrong with you?

Pidgeot: I’m fine but you’re kind of pissing me off

Quagsire: I didn’t do anything

Quagsire: you just started acting

Pidgeot: acting what? Say it

Quagsire: you started acting bitchy

Sunflora: ok guys lets calm down

Aipom: Shay’s right let’s all stop fighting and just settle

Pidgeot: oh yes great observation Lance

Pidgeot: I bet your boyfriend is so proud of you

Quagsire: don’t bring Alex into this he didn’t do anything

Zorua: oh come off it Lance

Zorua: if you hadn’t brought him here then everything would have been fine

Aipom: you know that isn’t true Keith

Quagsire: you’re saying it’s my fault that you’re both acting like shit?!

Zorua: IM SAYING ITS YOUR FAULT FOR RUBBING IT IN OUR FACES THAT YOU HAVE A FUCKING BOYFRIEND

Zorua: WE GET IT OK

Quagsire: IM NOT RUBBING IT IN YOUR FUCKING FACES

Quagsire: IM SORRY IF I FELT THAT THIS GUY WAS AMAZING ENOUGH THAT HE DESERVED TO MEET MY FRIENDS

Quagsire: WHO BY THE WAY ARE ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS IN MY FUCKING LIFE

Quagsire: I GUESS ITS ALSO MY FAULT THAT IVE FINALLY FOUND SOMEONE WHO DOESN’T THINK IM SOME FREAK AND USELESS WEIRDO

Quagsire: ALEX LIKES ME FOR BEING WEIRD AND THAT’S THE FIRST TIME THAT’S EVER HAPPENED

Quagsire: I EXPECTED YOU GUYS WOULD BE HAPPY FOR ME

Quagsire: LIKE SUPPORTIVE FRIENDS WOULD

Quagsire: BUT APPARENTLY YOU GUYS CARE MORE ABOUT HIW MUCH TIME IM TAKING UP IN YOUR LIVES THAN ME FINALLY NOT LYING AWAKE AT NIGHT CRYING MYSELF TO SLEEP

Quagsire: OR THAT IVE ACTUALLY STARTED LIKING MYSELF AGAIN

Quagsire: OR HOW HE NOTICES WHEN IM HAVING A BAD DAY AND HE RESPECTS MY BOUNDARIES AND THAT’S MORE THAN I COULD ASK OF ANYONE

Quagsire: BUT YEAH WHY SHOULD I WANT TO INCLUDE HIM IN MY LIFE

Quagsire: FUCK YOU

{Quagsire has left the chat}

Cresselia: I left for five minutes!

{Cresselia has left the chat}

Aipom: well that went well

Ursaring: great fucking job guys

Ursaring: very supportive

Chapter Text

The next day Keith was prepared for Lance to demand him and Pidge for an apology. What he wasn’t expecting was for both Lance and Hunk to completely avoid him. He’ll admit, it had stung when they had made eye contact and turned their backs to him but there wasn’t many moments where he could approach them anyway.

Pidge was dealing with the same problems. The entirety of the day she had been trying to talk to Hunk but the most she could get out of him was “not right now”. She wanted to be angry at him for that, but the second she had seen Lance that morning all she could feel was guilt. Because Lance looked terrible. His eyes were rimmed red and he had dark bags underneath them, something he would usually cover up.

The two were forced to sit at their usual table at lunch, group of four now halved. Keith and Pidge talked and agreed that while Lance’s relationship annoyed them, they valued their friendship with him more. The only problem they have now is getting Lance to forgive them.

Keith finally gets his chance during AP Math. He’s been watching Lance from across the room the entire time and when he finishes his task he practically bolts up out of his seat to hand it up. With that done he shuffles over to the tan boy, with the excuse of helping him with his work. Lance doesn’t even glance up from his sheet, instead writing down the formula for question 23 which Keith has already forgotten about.

“Lance?” The boy blinks but otherwise shows no sign that he heard his name. Stubborn as always. “Lance please will you at least listen?”

“Why? So you can mock my relationship some more?” His words are tight, straining as he keeps his voice low. Perhaps if they weren’t in class Keith would get yelled at again, but if there’s one thing he knows about Lance it’s that he doesn’t like making trouble for other people. Not unless he knows they’ll be okay with it.

“Look I get that you’re mad-”

“Do you really Keith? Because it sounds more like you expect me to just let it go and ignore the entire problem.” Keith scoffs.

“Isn’t that what you’re doing anyway?” Lances eyes finally lift up to glare at him, which yeah that’s not really how Keith wants Lance to look at him but at least it’s something. “As far as I can tell, you’re just running away from confrontation instead of talking it out maturely.”

“I’m talking now aren’t I? What do you want from me Keith? I figured you’d be happy I’m not wasting you’re time with my annoying crap.”

“I never said that!” Keith gets shushed by Mr Duraily, lowering his voice to a stage whisper. “You’re putting words in my mouth. Listen, I hadn’t wanted to upset you okay? I tried to be nice but you can’t put the blame on me and Pidge when we wouldn’t have even fought if Alex wasn’t added to the chat.”

Lance all but slams his pencil down onto his desk and fixes Keith with his steely eyes. “That’s not true and you know it. I added him because you all said I could, I asked for permission first. Alex didn’t do anything wrong and if you and Pidge hadn’t called us out like you did then there wouldn’t have been a problem in the first place.”

“Did you get agreements from everyone Lance? Or just the ones who always agree with your bullshit?” So yeah okay he shouldn’t have said that, but it’s done now.

Keith has never been able to say that he’s been scared of Lance until now. Before he had always been so sure that even if Lance were somehow able to take him on, he would never hurt his friends like that. But right now, as the taller make raises himself out of his chair with a creak, Keith feels a jolt of fear down his spine. Lance looks angry, like the only reason he hasn’t decked the black haired teen is because they’re in class. Which only makes it scarier. Is he going to punch him the second the bell for break goes?

Lance doesn’t give an answer to Keith’s statement, walking away to hand up his assignment before he slings his bag over his shoulder and scowls. “Don’t talk to me.”

With that said he walks out of the door right as the bell rings, instantly disappearing in the flood of students rushing to escape the school. Keith watches him go with wide eyes, not quite processing his words until he’s already gone and by then it’s too late. Keith frowns and looks down at his clenched fists, wishing he could punch something to release this frustration. That something preferably being Alex’s face.

He meets up with Pidge afterwards and the shorter of the two sighs when she sees his pout.

“So you weren’t able to talk to him?”

“No I talked to him.” His voice is sharp, an undertone of hurt that most wouldn’t be able to hear leaking through and Pidge’s eyes soften.

“It didn’t go well, did it?” Keith shakes his head. “Well you’ve had more luck than me I guess. Hunk would barely even look at me. He even asked to switch lab partners! He’s never switched lab partners, not even when I ate his peanut butter cookies without asking.” Keith listens with one ear, zoning out to the sound of Pidge’s rambling voice.

Lance will forgive them right? He’s not one to stay angry at his friends, even if he pretends to be. It’ll all blow over soon and they can go back to how they used to be, Keith can silently pine over the Cuban and still get to be his friend. He just has to be patient and wait for Lance to cool off. Everything will be fine.

That night Keith comes home to find Shiro talking on the phone, something he prefers to avoid doing since he lost his arm. He doesn’t know who he’s talking to, but based on the somber expression his brother is wearing there are only a few options.

“-It’s going to take some time but things will work out. None of us were expecting that to happen….. You can’t blame yourself for this. Listen you did the right thing in introducing everyone. It is not your fault that things got out of hand…….. Lance-.” Ah now he understands.” –You are smart, funny, attractive and kind. If Alex can’t see that then he doesn’t deserve to have it……. No I’m not telling you to break up with Alex…… I think you should let him know how this is making you feel. Relationships require communication Lance, you need to tell him when something’s bothering you…… I know…. Don’t worry they’re not mad at you…… Okay, if you need anything, just let me know. Don’t bottle it up…… Bye Lance.” Shiro takes the phone away from his ear and lets out a sigh.

“You were talking to Lance?” Keith raises his eyebrow, watching how Shiro startles and unconsciously rubs his right shoulder.

“Keith, when did you get home?”

“Just now. You’re avoiding the question.”

“Maybe because it isn’t any of your business.” Shiro’s tone is low, warning him not to overstep his boundaries. “I was comforting a friend.”

“Right. I’m going to my room.” The unsaid words hang heavily over them, telling the younger boy exactly what he had been thinking. Shiro is comforting Lance because he’s taking his side. Lance was talking with Shiro because he agrees with his relationship. Keith can’t even trust his own brother.

------------------------------------------------------

Zorua: for what its worth im sorry for fighting

Zorua: im not going to say sorry for not liking your boyfriend though

Zorua: so if that’s what your looking for then I cant help you

Chapter Text

Five missed calls. Twenty unread messages. By now Lance is sure he’s being ignored, which sucks because he thrives off of attention and having his boyfriend ignore him probably means he’s mad at him. Eventually Lance gathers enough courage to go over to Alex’s house and ask him in person, something that’s easier thought about than actually done apparently.

The door opens and Alex’s floppy brown hair peeks out. His freckled face falls upon seeing the Cuban and he’s just about to close the door when Lance sticks his foot between the gap. He winces. The movies definitely make it seem smoother than it is, that shit hurts. Thankfully the paler boy widens the space when he sees the foot and after a second, rolls his eyes and allows him in.

The two walk up into Alex’s bedroom and sit awkwardly beside each other on the lilac sheets. Lance coughs into his fist and turns to face his boyfriend.

“I um, I didn’t see you before school today.”

“I stayed home.”

“Oh… I tried calling you.”

“I saw.” Okay, ouch.

“Alex can you at least look at me when I’m talking to you?” The freckled boy does as asked and raises an eyebrow coolly. “Obviously you’re mad at me for something but I can’t fix it if you don’t tell me what’s wron-“

“I’m not mad at you Lance.” He blinks.

“What?”

“I’m not mad at you. I’m mad at your friends. They were disrespectful and rude, and I’m angry about how you’re avoiding talking to them because you’re scared.” There’s silence, broken only by the waver in Lance’s voice.

“I don’t-….”

“You can’t even fight it.” Alex’s eyes soften. “You can’t run away from everything.”

“Well then what am I supposed to do?!” A hand comes up and rests on Lance’s cheek, rubbing soothingly over his skin.

“I can’t tell you that. But they’re you’re friends, so no matter what you choose they deserve to at least be told upfront. Don’t ignore the problem and hope it’ll solve itself.”

Lance closes his eyes and leans into the hand, letting out a low hum. “How are you so smart?” Alex chuckles and slowly slides his hand around to hold the back of Lance’s neck. The tan boy tenses, growing uncomfortable.

“I just am.” Alex shifts closer, his other hand laying itself on Lance’s thigh, tracing circles on the pant leg. “You know, I’ve been very upset today. I was crying and everything.” He leans in and rests their foreheads together. “Make me happy again?” Lance squirms.

“I-I don’t know. This is a bit fast isn’t it?” Alex pouts.

“Don’t you want to make it up to me? Prove that you love me Lance, I need to know for sure.” With reluctance Lance allows Alex to lock their lips together, stiffly gripping the front of Alex’s shirt. His words swim in his head and the guilt begins to eat away at him. Alex doesn’t deserve to be sad. Lance is just a nuisance. He’s lucky to have Alex, lucky that he puts up with his shit. If this is what Alex wants then it’s the least Lance can do.

So with that thought in mind, Lance ignores the unwilling voice in his mind telling him it’s not a good idea and instead follows Alex’s guiding hands. Alex’s needs come first, Lance will prove that he can be a good partner. He’ll prove that he can make Alex happy.

-------------------------------------

{Ursaring added Cresselia to the group chat}

Cresselia: thanks hunk

Ursaring: np

Aipom: Allura! Hows Lance?

Cresselia: idk he went over to Alex’s

Cresselia: hes trying to fix their relationship afer what happened

Mattatta: i talked to him earlier hes not doing to good

Watchog: indeed my boy called me this morning and I could tell he was still upset

Watchog: he did a good job of hiding it

Pidgeot: is he still mad at us?

Cresselia: hes more mad at himself for trusting you

Pidgeot: I tried apologising to him but he wont speak to me

Pidgeot: he keeps leaving everytime I see him

Zorua: I spoke to him in math

Ursaring: you mean you yelled at him in math

Zorua: I didn’t yell!

Ursaring: uh huh

Aipom: listen obviously were all upset right now and thats fine

Aipom: but we cant blame each other

Cresselia: why not?

Cresselia: it was their fault after all

Zorua: it was not!

Cresselia: you had no reason to yell at him like you did!

Pidgeot: I don’t like when couples get all gross and shit in the main chat ok?!

Pidgeot: that’s what the privates are for!

Ursaring: but you didn’t have to say what you did

Ursaring: you didn’t have to make lance feel bad

Mattatta: okay that’s enough

Mattatta: how do we fix this

Cresselia: ……

Sunflora: Allura please we’re all really sorry and we want to make this right

Sunflora: Lance is our friend and I for one don’t want to lose any of my friends

Sunflora: so will you please help us apologise??

Cresselia: Hunk?

Ursaring: well I don’t like fighting….

Cresselia: Coran?

Watchog: you know Lance wouldn’t want to lose anyone he cares about

Cresselia: no matter how angry he is with you all hed never want to stop being friends

Cresselia: ill help but if this happens again im removing you all from his lfe

Cresslia: I wont allow toxic people in Lance’s life

Aipom: we understand

Sunflora: what do we need to do?

Chapter Text

It’s close to midnight when Lance returns home from Alex’s house. After their - ahem- time together, they had settled down and watched one of Alex’s history documentaries. Needless to say Lance had fallen asleep and is now rushing to get back before his parents do.

Of course nothing is ever that easy, especially for Lance and it’s just his luck that when he opens the door it’s his Mama’s face he sees.

“Lancito, you’re home late.” Her voice shows no emotion, yet it sends fear rippling through Lance like waves over the ocean.

“I-I’m sorry Mama, I was-“ a sharp resounding CLAP interrupts him and judging by the rapidly growing warmth on his cheek, he won’t be able to hide this bruise with a dab of make-up like usual. He turns his head back to face steely blue eyes and a deepening scowl.

“Don’t give me your pathetic excuses, ti poca merda. I am your Mother and I have a right to know where you’ve been. Now tell me.”

“I was…” Lance hesitates but the darkening look in his Mama’s eye wins him over. “I was with my… boyfriend.” Of all the things Lance’s Mother was waiting for, that wasn’t it because for a moment she looked taken aback. All too soon however her look changes to outrage.

“Boyfriend?! You’ve been sneaking off to have sex with some boy?! My son, a fag!” Every word feels like a bullet but honestly he doesn’t know what he was expecting. This is going better than he thought it would, really. His Mama’s hand grasps him by the back of the neck and soon he’s being dragged downstairs, the all familiar dread brewing in his stomach. “I’ll show you what happens to fags in this household, puttana.”

The door to the basement shuts behind them and in the dark damp space underneath the house, Lance quivers fearfully. He hopes to all higher powers in the universe that his siblings never have to see this room. Dried blood splattered along the walls and floor, some being years old while others relatively fresh. A messy pile of various tools such as hammers and knives, also covered in crimson.

This is the place of his nightmares, the place that consumes his waking thoughts and imbeds terror into his heart more times than he can count. He knows every nook and cranny of this room and what he knows above all else is that there is no getting out without permission.

“Now don’t look at me like that, I’m doing this because I have to. You need to learn your place, Lanzo, you are nothing more than a dirt smudge upon my shoe. Now if you behave then this will be over quickly.” But to his Mama, Lance never behaves.

---------------------------------------------------

Thursday morning brings them to a total of three days of avoiding each other and with each passing minutes the tension only grows. It doesn’t go out of Keith’s notice that Lance has a giant bruise on his cheek but the boy has always been accident prone so it isn’t hard to brush it off as another untied shoelace incident.

He can’t say he doesn’t try to talk to the two of them, he’s approached many times only to have the lanky boy and his Samoan friend leave before a word can get out. It’s becoming quite tiresome if he’s honest. But life seems to have seen how pitifully he’s doing and gives him a hand, in the form of a school play with Lance’s name written neatly on the signing sheet.

Now Keith has never had a huge interest in theatre, in fact he finds it kind of boring but it’s the best chance he has at talking to Lance without the boy walking out on him. So before he can overthink his decision he scribbles his name underneath the Cuban’s and bolts. No doubt Pidge will give him shit for this but if everything goes well then it’s worth the humiliation. The… complete…. And utter… humiliation….. on… stage…

Yeah Keith’s screwed. Maybe he can convince Pidge to join with him. Bribe her with coffee or food, though knowing the Gremlin she’d just make him buy her food anyway. God why does friendship require so much effort?

To add to the annoyance building on Keith’s mood, he’s been seeing Alex hanging around their school entrance a lot. He knows for a fact that Lance’s boyfriend does not attend Altea High School (which he’s thankful for because if he was forced to see Alex’s face every day he just might punch him).

Seriously though, what kind of creeper stands outside of a school every day? Doesn’t this guy have his own school to attend?! Why can’t everyone just stop rubbing it in Keith’s face that Lance doesn’t fucking like him?!

Keith takes in a shaky breath and enters the cafeteria, taking his usual seat with Pidge at their designated table. As it has been for the last few days they are the only two sitting there and despite his indifferent exterior, Keith is not a fan of the emptiness surrounding them. He and Pidge just aren’t as talkative as Hunk and lance are, they don’t have much to say and if they do it’s usually brief and to the point. They don’t do the whole useless banter like Lance, and yet they miss it.

He just needs to keep his brave face on, the first play rehearsal is tomorrow. There he can talk to Lance and fix everything. Tomorrow.

Chapter Text

Pidge doesn’t want to say that she’s had a good week. She hasn’t. Two of her closest friends have isolated themselves because she couldn’t keep her mouth shut. It stung and if she weren’t so freaking petty then maybe she’d do something about it, but this is Katie Holt we’re talking about. She has a reputation to uphold.

Point is, it’s been pretty sucky. Which is why she doesn’t deserve to be this happy right now. Where did this happiness stem from? Only the most amazing girl in the world. Pidge can quite honestly admit to being smitten with Beezer, she has been since she first laid eyes on her, but never would she have thought that she’d have the chance to go out on a second date with this girl.

It had been as awkward and adorable as the first, Beezer had taken her to a robot themed restaurant. It had Pidge close to tears. Nobody but her friends had taken this much interest in what she’s said before.

So now Pidge is stuck between squealing like a teenage girl (which she is but that’s unimportant) or wallowing in her guilt. But of course the world can’t just let her sort out how she should go about apologising, no life needs to distract her from what’s important with other important things. Like her (maybe, hasn’t asked yet) girlfriend.

{BeezKneez sent a private message to PidgePie}

BeezKneez: hey Pidgie

PidgePie: hey Beezie

BeezKneez: your a copy cat

PidgePie: your adorable

BeezKneez: aaaaaaah

BeezKneez: anyways I wanted to ask if your busy rn

PidgePie: not that I know if

PidgePie: why

BeezKneez: ;-)

PidgePie: suspicious

BeezKneez: meet me at the park in 5?

PidgePie: last one there buys coffee tomorrow

BeezKneez: YOU LITTKNJFK JSITI

The park is strangely empty for 5 in the afternoon. Or maybe not, Pidge isn’t sure. She hasn’t actually gone to a park in years. Is this what direct sunlight feels like? Ew. It takes her a minimum of three minutes to find Beezer sitting on a park bench by the water fountain, and honestly Jesus Christ how is she so perfect? It’s like a scene from some cheesy rom-com, with the sun reflecting off of the water just enough to leave Beezer glowing and Pidge’s heart explodes.

She walks over and upon catching the girl’s attention, smiles shyly. Beezer grins and jumps up, throwing her arms around Pidge tight enough that she can feel her bones cracking but she hugs back anyway.

“Hey.”

“Hey.” They smile dorkily at each other and in this moment, Pidge can’t even be mad about having to buy them both coffee later. “So is there a particular reason you wanted to meet here?”

Beezer chuckles (and wow her laugh is adorable). “Can’t I just want to see you?” With that Beezer grasps Pidge’s hand in her own and leads them down a path, stopping every now and then to admire the nature. Pidge can’t even lie, she was staring at Beezer the whole time. Is she embarrassed? Yes. Does she regret it? Nope. She won’t be ashamed for allowing herself to admire the view. The view that is her (maybe (Damn if she hadn’t pissed off Lance then she could have gotten his advice on this)) girlfriend.

They carry on like this for nearly two hours, stopping to get pretzels at a nearby stand. It’s calm, it’s quiet and it’s everything that Pidge could ever want. So she doesn’t even think twice when she leans down and kisses her.

There’s no hesitation from the other girl and when they part Pidge can definitely see a blush on her cheeks. Beezer smirks.

“And here I thought I’d need to make the first move. You surprised me Pidgie.” Said girl blushes a dark shade of red and turns away in embarrassment.

“S-shut up, you enjoyed it.” Beezer tilts herself onto her toes and plants her lips onto the Italian’s cheek.

“Yeah I did.”

---------------------------------

{BeezKneez sent a private message to PidgePie}

BeezKneez: I had fun on our date;)

PidgePie: me too

PidgePie: so hey are we dating

BeezKneez: are

BeezKneez: are you serious?

PidgePie: im sorry but im super oblivious to these things and like my usual go to advice giver isn’t available at this time so I have no idea what im doing

BeezKneez: dont apologise its fine

BeezKneez: id like to think were dating

PidgePie: so your my girlfriend now?

BeezKneez: yep

PidgePie: Nice

Chapter Text

There are few people who know Lance’s weakness, these are his siblings, his parents and Hunk. What is this weakness you ask? He is very easily guilt-tripped. One comment on how someone needs help or a past mistake that led to a fight is all it takes to have Lance indebted to them. It’s because of this weakness that he was so easily convinced to re-join the group chat. All Hunk had to do was mention how fighting makes him anxious and Lance was reaching for his phone.

So now he’s here, on his bed and staring blankly at the dark phone screen. Why does he have to be such a pushover for people? Why can’t he just not care like everyone else? No Lance needs to make everyone happy even when they don’t deserve it because otherwise he’ll feel bad and end up apologising. He frowns and unlocks his phone, opening the messaging app with reluctance.

{BlueSp00k re-joined the group chat}

Ursaring: hey Lance

Cresselia: my blue boy!!!

BlueSp00k: Hunk, ‘Llura a pleasure as always

Watchog: Lance my boy how are you feeling?

BlueSp00k: im fine Coran :^) I just needed some time to cool off

BlueSp00k: where are the other members of this chat

BlueSp00k: don’t tell me my absence has caused a rift between the group

BlueSp00k: darn I knew I was the support pillar

Zorua: as if

Aipom: welcome back Lance

BlueSp00k: nice to be back Shiro

BlueSp00k: I guess u could say I was…

BlueSp00k: ShiroGONE too long;^)

Aipom: *sigh*

Aipom: just this once ill allow the pun

Sunflora: Lance im so happy youre back! Are you still upset?!

BlueSp00k: Shay my gorgeous girl

BlueSp00k: tho my heart bled for many days I have since revived myself to my natural glory

Mattatta: your happier than I thought you would eb

BlueSp00k: food is the medicine for all forms of emotional overload:3

Ursaring: aka hes been stealing my food this whole week

Ursaring: he cleared my kitchen of everything no joke

Sunflora: Lance that isn’t healthy

BlueSp00k: relax beautiful

Cresselia: no need to worry Lance has done this in the past

Cresselia: give him a day and he’ll have burned off all those carbs without even trying

BlueSp00k: is that jealousy I hear in ur voice dear?

Cresselia: YES HOW THE FUCK DO YOU NOT GAIN WEIGHT

BlueSp00k: secret technique ;^)

Pidgeot: Lance?

BlueSp00k: oh wats this?

BlueSp00k: a small mortal praying to me?

Pidgeot: can we dm real quick?

BlueSp00k: look at that im so popular

{BlueSp00k sent a private message to PiddlePop}

BlueSp00k: what is it u need youngling?

PiddlePop: i just thought it would be easier to do this without the rest of the group there

PiddlePop: im so sorry Lance

BlueSp00k: ur forgiven

PiddlePop: wait what?

BlueSp00k: its fine Pidge I cant even remember what happened

BlueSp00k: all in the past

PiddlePop: but I haven’t even apologised properly

BlueSp00k: u don’t need to

BlueSp00k: I shouldn’t have invited alex to the chat it obviously made u uncomfortable

BlueSp00k: im sorry for overreacting when u called me out

PiddlePop: don’t do that!

BlueSp00k: ???

BlueSp00k: do what?

PiddlePop: pretend that its all better so that everyone else is happy

PiddlePop: your allowed to be angry at us Lance

PiddlePop: hell you should be after what went down

PiddlePop: let me make it up to you

PiddlePop: forgive me because you actually want to

PiddlePop: please

BlueSp00k: ok then :^) lets try this again

PiddlePop: Lance I apologise for being a self-infused ass and ignoring how happy your relationship made you

BlueSp00k: Pidge I apologise for overlooking your views on the matter and instead putting you in a situation where you felt the need to yell at me

PiddlePop: we cool?

BlueSp00k: idk abot u but im the coolest B^)

PiddlePop: you’re a loser lol

PiddlePop: hey Lance?

BlueSp00k: yes smol gremlin?

PiddlePop: thanks for not hating me

BlueSp00k: I could never

BlueSp00k: yor like a sister to me

PiddlePop: OKAY THAT’S ENOUGH FEELINGS EW

BlueSp00k: aw but Pidgey you looooooove me

PiddlePop: you have no proof

BlueSp00k: I have screenshots

PiddlePop: ill wipe your phone

BlueSp00k: just finished backing them up onto multiple devices

PiddlePop: I trained you well

{BlueSp00k has sent a message to The Nerd Herd}

BlueSp00k: Pidge loves me:3

Pidgeot: if not for the laws of this country I would kill you right now

BlueSp00k: no u wouldn’t

BlueSp00k: because u loooooove me

Aipom: I take it you guys made up

Pidgeot: sadly

Watchog: Lance is that you I hear entering through the back door?

BlueSp00k: yeet

Aipom: why?

BlueSp00k: Allura has an icecream stash and I know where it is

Cresselia: BITCH YOU BETTER NOT

Ursaring: rip Lance no one gets in between Allura and her ice cream

Zorua: why don’t you just eat your own food?

BlueSp00k: what was that?

BlueSp00k: I thought I heard a voice

BlueSp00k: but that cant be because it sounds just like the person I told never to talk to me again

Mattatta: ooooh that’s petty dang

Aipom: I don’t see this ending well

Zorua: I thought you were over that now

BlueSp00k: hey Coran do u still hav those red liquorice things?

Watchog: erm no

Zorua: seriously? Youre going to ignore me?

BlueSp00k: Hunk would u be a dear and tell Keith that I have nothing to say to him?

Ursaring: uh…. He has nothing to say to you?

Zorua: stop being so childish

Sunflora: oh my

BlueSp00k: ah yes im being childish for not forgiving you

Zorua: yes! You forgave everyone else!

Bluesp00k: everyone else also apologised without blaming me

BlueSp00k: funny how that worked in their favour huh

Aipom: okay!

Cresselia: Lance why don’t you come help me paint my nails? You know I always have trouble doing my hands

Watchog: you can even stay for the night if youd like

BlueSp00k: thatd be nice

BlueSp00k: thanks guys

Chapter Text

{BlueSp00k has sent a message to The Nerd Herd}

BlueSp00k: Brushing your teeth is the only time you ever clean your skeleton

Pidgeot: …Lance what the actual fuck

BlueSp00k: how clean is ur skeleton?

Pidgeot: I

Pidgeot: go to sleep

--------------------------------------

{BlueSp00k has sent a message to The Nerd Herd}

BlueSp00k: To your stomach all potato is mashed

Pidgeot: I thought I told you to sleep

BlueSp00k: you did

Pidgeot: mate don’t test me

Pidgeot: go to bed

--------------------------------

{BlueSp00k has sent a message to The Nerd Herd}

BlueSp00k: im still it from that game of tag when I wasfiev

BlueSp00k: will I be it forever now?

Pidgeot: im this close to fucking waking Shiro to deal with you

BlueSp00k: your probably still it too Pidge

Pidgeot: ….

-----------------------------

{BlueSp00k has sent a message to The Nerd Herd}

BlueSp00k: if two people on opposite sides of the world dropped a piece of bread then the earth would be a sandwich

Pidgeot: that’s it

Pidgeot: SHIROOOOOOOOOO

Aipom: death is that you?

Aipom: oh Nevermind

Aipom: yes Pidge?

Pidgeot: get Lance to go to sleep and stop bothering me with these weird ideas

BlueSp00k: Shiro

BlueSp00k: a buttload of underwear is just one pair

Pidgeot: see what I mean?

Aipom: hm I never thought of that

Aipom: how strange

Pidgeot: SHIRO

Aipom: fine

Aipom: Lance Pidge you young children should be sleeping at this time of night

Pidgeot: don’t bring me into this!

BlueSp00k: but its morning

Pidgeot: 4 in the morning

Pidgeot: when I would like to be sleeping

BlueSp00k: I cant sleep

Aipom: why not

BlueSp00k: can I talk to u guys in a different chat?

Aipom: of course

{BlueSp00k has added ShiroGONE and PidgeGunderson to a group chat}

BlueSp00k: do you think I was too harsh on Keith?

PidgeGunderson: that’s what this is about?

PidgeGunderson: lance ive already told you youre allowed to have feelings

PidgeGunderson: you don’t have to forgive him if youre not ready

BlueSp00k: yeah but what I said was kinda mean

ShiroGONE: look Lance I know that youre conflicted

ShiroGONE: but its probably best to avoid confrontation if youre not ready to make up

ShiroGONE: that means that while what you said could have been nicer it was the right thing to do

ShiroGONE: I love my brother but he does need to learn how to apologise properly

BlueSp00k: so I ignore him?

ShiroGONE: no just don’t go out of your way

ShiroGONE: maybe tell him that while youre not ready to forgive him you want to stay friends

BlueSp00k: what if I just forgive him?

PidgeGunderson: mate I will not repeat myself

ShiroGONE: forgiving someone before youre ready can lead to you resenting them for it so its probably best not to

BlueSp00k: hm

BlueSp00k: k thanks for the advice

BlueSp00k: sorry for keeping you guys awake

PidgeGunderson: its whatever

-----------------------------------

{Zorua has sent a message to The Nerd Herd}

Zorua: I wake up to a spam

Zorua: does anyone ever sleep?

BlueSp00k: nope

BlueSp00k: im running purely on caffeine at this point

Zorua: oh

Zorua: youre speaking to me?

BlueSp00k: what I said yesterday was douchey so

Zorua: does this mean we’re friends again?

BlueSp00k: im still mad at u

BlueSp00k: apologise right and we’ll see

Zorua: I guess I have my work cut out for me then: )

Pidgeot: naw look at these two

Mattatta: im so proud of my bois communicating

BlueSp00k: OMG IT COMPLETELY SLIPPED MY MIND

Zorua: ???

{BlueSp00k has changed their name to Elf Boi}

{Elf Boi has changed Zorua’s name to r00dolph}

{Elf Boi has changed Pidgeot’s name to The Grinch}

{Elf Boi has changed Cresselia’s name to Sugarplum Fairy}

{Elf Boi has changed Watchog’s name to Jingle Bell}

{Elf Boi has changed Sunflora’s name to Angel}

{Elf Boi has changed Ursaring’s name to Rein-Dearest}

{Elf Boi has changed Mattatta’s name to Tree Boi}

{Aipom has changed their name to I Asked Santa For Death This Christmas}

Elf Boi: Shiro what the fuck

I Asked Santa For Death This Christmas: I thought I should be honest

{Elf Boi has changed I Asked Santa For Death This Christmas’ name to Daddy Christmas]

Daddy Christmas: how is this better?

r00dolph: ummm excuse me?

Elf Boi: what its perfect

Elf Boi: because when its cold your nose goes all cute and red

Tree Boi: omg

Elf Boi: and you’re a rude ass bitch

The Grinch: moment ruined

The Grinch: how are you Keith?

r00dolph: ….

Elf Boi: anyway

{Elf Boi has changed the group chat name to JOLLY FUCKS}

Elf Boi: get ready for christmas guys

The Grinch: Lance its not even mid November

Elf Boi: hence why ur the Grinch

Sugarplum Fairy: omg finally

Sugarplum Fairy: ive been waiting all year for this

Sugarplum Fairy: Lance wanna help me and Coran get everything out of the attic

Elf Boi: boo where do you think Im hanging right this second

Elf Boi: also can you start dusting in here like wow

Sugarplum Fairy: ah yes coz cleaning our attic is the first thing we need to do

Elf Boi: don’t sass me

Sugarplum Fairy: then don’t say stupid shit

The Grinch: oooooooooh

Rein-Dearest: Oh I can start baking Christmas cookies!

Elf Boi: WHOOP

Elf Boi: yo this Christmas is gonna be lit

Tree Boi: every Christmas is “lit” to you Lance

Elf Boi: that’s how I know its gonna be lit

The Grinch: sigh

Elf Boi: Christmas is approaching Grinch

Elf Boi: you cant escape it

Chapter Text

{Sugarplum Fairy has sent 5 pictures to the group chat}

Sugarplum Fairy: has you ever seen someone more beautiful

Rein-Dearest: Lance youre adorable!!

Daddy Christmas: is he doing that on purpose?

Tree Boi: im proud of my son

Tree Boi: wat a catch

The Grinch: god damnit

The Grinch: I cant be snarky about those pics

Elf Boi: Allura! When did you take tht

Sugarplum Fairy: while you were distracted with untangling the lights

Sugarplum Fairy: you just looked so precious with your little tongue poking out

Elf Boi: don’t say that its weird

The Grinch: excuse?!

Tree Boi: Lance you smol fluff

Tree Boi: accept our praises

Elf Boi: whatev

Elf Boi: anyway so I found the tree ornaments but the house lights are stuffed behind some giant thingy

r00dolph: giant thingy?

Jingle Bells: don’t touch that!!!

Elf Boi: ?

Jingle Bells: it’s a surprise

Elf Boi: right well you can get the house lights then

Elf Boi: I need to get home

Sugarplum Fairy: say hi to Adrien for me

Elf Boi: if hes not at soccer practice then sure

Rein-Dearest: yo Lance are you free this weekedn

Elf Boi: it all depends on the minis

Elf Boi: ill return with an answer in max two hours

r00dolph: question

r00dolph: why is it up to your siblings

Elf Boi: well if they already have plans then I wont be free will i?

r00dolph: well why don’t your parents just take them

Jingle Bells: that is a good point Lance

Jingle Bells: I haven’t talked to your parents in a while

Jingle Bells: should I call them?

Elf Boi: what? NO!

Elf Boi: look mum and dad are busy with work and ask me to help out a bit

Elf Boi: theres really no problem

Elf Boi: I just need to babysit a lot

Elf Boi: I gotta go drive safely

r00dolph: suspicious much

Rein-Dearest: yeah but don’t push it too hard

Rein-Dearest: Lance doesn’t like talking bout it even with me :/

-------------------------------

{Sugarplum Fairy sent a message to JOLLY FUCKS}

Sugarplum Fairy: yall are invited to Coran and I’s christmas party

Rein-dearest: id hope so after all the years weve been friends

Sugarplum Fairy: shush Hunk this is a formality

Daddy Christmas: id love to come Allura: )

Tree Boi: will there be alcohol?

Sugarplum Fairy: yes

Tree Boi: count me and Pidge in

The Grinch: I don’t gete a say so sure

The Grinch: you coming Keith?

r00dolph: uh maybe

Sugarplum Fairy: that’s a yes

Sugarplum Fairy: Shay?

Angel: I should be free

Sugarplum Fairy: great I cant wait to see you all there

Sugarplum Fairy: its being held the week before Christmas and itll be lit

r00dolph: is Lance going?

Sugarplum Fairy: lol that’s funny

Sugarplum Fairy: as though he has a choice

Rein-Dearest: Lance and I have been attending Allura’s parties since we were twelve

Rein-Dearest: before that he’d go alone

Sugarplum Fairy: we take our traditions very seriously

r00dolph: noted

Daddy Christmas: well im sure we’re all going to have a wonderful time

Sugarplum Fairy: im positive you will;)

------------------------------

{Takashit sent a private message to BaneofMyExistence}

Takashit: fuck I think I like Allura

BaneofMyExistence: I thought you had a crush on Matt

Takashit: what why

BaneofMyExistence: uhhhhh Nevermind

Takashit: what do I do

BaneofMyExistence: you realise who your asking right?

BaneofMyExistence: the guy whos been pining for over 4 years now?

BaneofMyExistence: almost ruined his entire friendship because he was jealous?

BaneofMyExistence: that guy

Takashit: pls I need help

BaneofMyExistence: just ask Lance

Takashit: NO

Takashit: Lance and Allura are practically cousins remember?!

Takashit: he’d spill the metaphorical beans

BaneofMyExistence: give him some credit

Takashit: even if he didn’t tell er im pretty sure he wouldn’t like me crushing on his cousin

BaneofMyExistence: Allura doesn’t have a problem with me liking him

BaneofMyExistence: im pretty sure hell just be thrilled to ship you guys

Takashit: good point

Takashit: but ill wait until hes back online

BaneofMyExistence: yeah no shit

Takashit: don’t sass me Keith

{BaneofMyExistence has changed their name to FuckYou}

Takashit: unnecessary

FuckYou: your unnecessary

------------------------------

{Tree Boi has sent a message to JOLLY FUCKS}

Tree Boi: HOW COULD THEY JUST ALLOW HIM TO RUN THE HOUSE

Tree Boi: I WOULD SLAP HIM SILLY IF HE WALTZED INTO MY PLACE

r00dolph: ???

The Grinch: hes watching cat in the hat

Daddy Christmas: Matt why

Tree Boi: FOR THE MEME SHIRO

Tree Boi: THE MEME

Elf Boi: wow what a convo to come back to

Tree Boi: LANCE

Tree Boi: TELL THIS MAN THE IMPORTANCE OF WATCHING A MEME

Elf Boi: one must do what they have to

Elf Boi: the memes must live on through us

Elf Boi: so that one day in the future our descendants may look at all that we have done and see

Elf Boi: that we were the dankest

Rein-Dearest: *wipes tear* that was beautiful

Elf Boi: *dabs*

Tree Boi: HOW ARE THEY NOT DEAD AFTER ALL OF THIS SHIT

Elf Boi: oh yeah Hunk were chill for this weekend but I need to be home before lunch on Sunday

Rein-Dearest: that’s cool

Rein-Dearest: hey Keith do you wanna come over 2?

r00dolph: oh uh sure

Daddy Christmas: look at my little brother being social

Elf Boi: Proud Daddy™

Daddy Christmas: I know where Keith hides his knives don’t test me

r00dolph: no you don’t you fuck

Daddy Christmas: under the loose board on the third step

r00dolph: …

Elf Boi: hes been found out!

Daddy Christmas: lol I hear him frantically moving his knives

r00dolph: somewhere youll never find them

Daddy Christmas: no doubt ill stumble upon them within 24 hours

r00dolph: no

r00dolph: because theyre somewhere youll enver find them

Elf Boi: sounds fake but okay

The Grinch: are we all just ignoring that Lance dabbed

Tree Boi: CAT YOU FUCKING BINCH HOW PETTY ARE YOU

Chapter Text

{Princess sent a private message to Prince}

Princess: yo

Prince: ooh who’ve you got a crush on?

Princess: how is it you can always tell

Prince: it’s a gift now spill

Princess: erm well you see

Prince: is it Shiro?

Princess: sort of?

Prince: sort of?

Princess: weeeeeeeeeell I do have a crush on him but

Prince: *gasp* drama?

Princess: I find myself being incredibly attracted to Matt also

Prince: A love triangle

Prince: the most notorious of plot twists

Princess: Lance

Prince: Let me have my fun

Princess: I need help

Princess: what do I do?

Princess: I like both of them but I don’t want to choose between them

Prince: gimme like two secs to find a solution

Princess: yet another gift you have

Princess: somehow you always manage to find a way around problems

Prince: Ok so here’s the dealio

Prince: you like two smoking hot men

Prince: and they would be fools not to like you because you are equally smoking hot

Princess: ty

Prince: Suggestion put on the table is date them both

Princess: How?

Prince: Expanding on that

Prince: step one: I find out how they feel about you

Prince: if all is well we move onto step two

Prince: step two: talk to the both of them, explain how you are open to a three way relationship

Prince: polyamory is the name of what you want if im reading the situation right

Princess: *gasps*

Prince: *gasps inspanish*

Princess: Lancey Lance my sweet son

Princess: youre such a smart boy!

Prince: ty ty

Prince: yo the kids are chilling if you want to come see them

Princess: ADRIEN MY LOVELY SON

Prince: I thought I was ur sonD:

Princess: you’ve been replaced by my angel

Prince: D:

{Elf Boi sent a message to Jolly Fucks}

Elf Boi: Top Ten Anime Betrayals™

The Grinch: what happened this time?

Sugarplum Fairy: nothing Lance is just jealous

Elf Boi: I HELP YOU OUT

Elf Boi: I SOLVE YOUR ISSUES

Elf Boi: AND YOU CAST ME ASIDE LIKE IM NOTHING

r00dolph: lol

Elf Boi: quit ur laughing Mullet

r00dolph: or what

Daddy Christmas: I think we’re getting off topic here

The Grinch: and what is the topic exactly

Elf Boi: Allura played favourites

Rein-Dearest: she didn’t!

Elf Boi: I know!

Sugarplum Fairy: boo hoo so I prefer your adorable younger brother over you

Sugarplum Fairy: why are you surprised

Elf Boi: not surprised

Elf Boi: just hurt

r00dolph: whats it gonna take to get you to stop complaining?

Elf Boi: depends on how willing u are to drive me to maccas

r00dolph: only if you buy me a frappe

Elf Boi: done now come pick me up

r00dolph: omw

The Grinch: what did we just witness

Angel: something magical

Tree Boi: and gay

Daddy Christmas: Matt!

Tree Boi: I mean that in the best way

Sugarplum Fairy: speaking of gay

The Grinch: nice segway

Tree Boi: nice rhyme

Sugarplum Fairy: if youre all comfortable with discussing it, I was wondering about everyone’s preferred pronouns and sexualities seeing as we never properly introduced ourselves

Sugarplum Fairy: its completely alright if youd rather not answer

Daddy Christmas: I think that’s a great idea and itll help everyone get to know eachother

Sugarplum Fairy: ok ill start. I go by she/her and Im straight

Tree Boi: Im a Flaming Bisexual™ and I go by he/him

Angel: Im actually pan and I go by she/her

Rein-Dearest: im straight and I go by he/him

Elf Boi: like Matt I am also a flaming Bisexual™ and I mostly go by he/him but I don’t mind really

Elf Boi: Keith would like everyone to know that he is “hella gay”

The Grinch: same Keith

The Grinch: im a giant lesbian

Daddy Christmas: what a nice way to put it

The Grinch: I thought so

Tree Boi: your turn Shiro:3

Daddy Christmas: im male and while im not flaming I am bisexual

Sugarplum Fairy: wonderful!

Sugarplum Fairy: I can really feel us all bonding!

Jingle Bells: you know I havrnt put much thought into my sexuality

Jingle Bells: however I cant deny that I find Alfor quite “smokin” as you kids say

Sugarplum Fairy: CORAN THAT’S MY FATHER

Elf Boi: omg

The Grinch: AHAHAAHAHAHA

Daddy Christmas: nope

Chapter Text

{Elf Boi has sent a private message to r00dolph}

Elf Boi: so on a scale of 1-10

Elf Boi: how does this shirt look on me

{Elf Boi has sent a picture}

r00dolph: what

Elf Boi: I have a date with Alex and I don’t know if I should wear this shirt or not

Elf Boi: so I decided to get a non-biased opinion

r00dolph: so you came to me?

Elf Boi: yes

r00dolph: I knw fuck all about fashion

Elf Boi: yeah but u no me

Elf Boi: so?

r00dolph: uh do you have any blue shirts

r00dolph: blue matches well with your eyes

Elf Boi: really?! Thnks Keithy~~

r00dolph: don’t call me that

Elf Boi: too late

{Elf Boi has changed r00dolph’s name to Keithy}

Keithy: ….

Elf Boi: whatcha gon do bout it

{Keithy has changed Elf Boi’s name to Lancey}

Keithy: boom

Lancey: Keiiiiiiiiiiiiiith~

Keithy: oh shit

Lancey: look at our cute matching name=3

Keithy: your supposed ot be embarrassed!

Lancey: lol for that I would need shame

Lancey: which I am sorely lacking

Keithy: cant argue with tha

Lancey: k well I gotta go meet up with the bae

Lancey: later

Keithy: bye

{The Grinch has sent a message to JOLLY FUCKS}

The Grinch: im just saying its not going to be the same without him

Rein-Dearest: well of course not but that’s the point

Rein-Dearest: this is a new actor whos going to view the role differently

r00dolph: whats the arguemant now

Daddy Christmas: theyre not arguing

Daddy Christmas: Pidge is just upset about someone leaving a musical she enjoys

The Grinch: BEN PLATT IS A BEAUTIFUL AMAZING INDIVIDUAL AND IM STRAIGHT AS FUCK FOR HIM

r00dolph: I love Ben Platt…

r00dolph: my gay is strong for him

Tree Boi: yanno who else is gay for Ben?

Tree Boi: Lance McClain!!!!!!

The Grinch: you might have to speak up I don’t think he heard you

Tree Boi: MY SON LANCE “MEME MACHINE” MCCLAIN

r00dolph: hes on a date

Daddy Christmas: and you know this how?

r00dolph: he was asking me what he should wear

Sugarplum Fairy: he was what?

r00dolph: is tht os hard to believe?

Sugarplum Fairy: no its just that he usually asks me for fashion advice

Sugarplum Fairy: did he say why he was asking you specifically?

r00dolph: idk something about a non-biased opinion

The Grinch: so he went to you?

r00dolph: hey im very faur!

The Grinch: mmhmmm

The Grinch: so what did you tell him

r00dolph: that he should wear a blue shurt because it compliments his eyes

Sugarplum Fairy: ooh good call

The Grinch: dang Keith your typos are at maximum percent today

r00dolph: shut your mouth

The Grinch: make me

Tree Boi: know what? Most people would feel awkward saying this about their little sister but im not like other people so

Tree Boi: KINKY

The Grinch: you’re the Jared Klienman to my existence

Tree Boi: naw

The Grinch: unwanted and annoying

Rein-Dearest: Ohhh good one Pidge

Jingle Bells: and so the realisation that I am a grown man in a group chat with a bunch of teenagers falls upon me

Daddy Christmas: I feel your pain

Jingle Bells: shut up you’re a fetus

r00dolph: best part is hes not wrong

r00dolph: is he Shiro

Daddy Christmas: Keith don’t do something youll regret

r00dolph: Shiro’s birthday is on a leap year

r00dolph: technically hes 6

The Grinch: FETUS SHIRO IS CONFIRMED

Tree Boi: I already knw but its nice to see people picking on him

Rein-Dearest: aw Shiro that’s so cute

Sugarplum Fairy: haha

Daddy Christmas: Lance would never treat me like this

The Grinch: that’s because Lance is a suck up

r00dolph: says the one who rolled a red carpet along the school hall the day Hunk made brownies

Rein-Dearest: don’t listen to him Pidge I appreciated the gesture

The Grinch: nothing but respect for my President™

Tree Boi: the only president I have is my lord and saviour Jesus Christ

Daddy Christmas: the only president I have is the sweet release of death

r00dolph: lol me

------------------------

{Elf Boi has sent a message to JOLLY FUCKS}

Elf Boi: wow I missed a lot

Elf Boi: u good Shiro?

Daddy Christmas: *sighs in Dad*

Elf Boi: lol so your actually a smol boi

Daddy Christmas: pls don’t

Elf Boi: does this make u

Daddy Christmas: don’t say it

Elf Boi: a Baby Daddy

Daddy Christmas: ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Elf Boi: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Daddy Christmas: you’re a disappointment

Elf Boi: ok Daddy

Chapter Text

{Young ‘N’ Rotten}

Sharkie: yo Keith whats the answer to the math question

Gaylien: which one?

Sharkie: All.

Goblin: ask your teacher

Sharkie: ummm no?

Hunkules: why not

Gaylien: whenever anyone asks for help Mr Duraily starts a lecture

Sharkie: and then everyone will be salty atm e

Gaylien: want me to come over and help

Sharkie: please

Hunkules: Pidge do you have the diagram for the environmental health project

Goblin: probably ill check

Hunkules: thanks

Goblin: wait

Goblin: Lance is that your fucking boyfriend outside our class window?!

Sharkie: wat

Goblin: {(1) image sent}

Sharkie: omg it is

Gaylien: whats he doing here?

Sharkie: ill find out

{Babe <----------> Bae<3}

Babe: babe why are you outside Pidge’s classroom?

Bae<3: wait this sint your class?

Bae<3: damnit

Babe: whatcha doing here?

Bae<3: well I was hoping to convince you to skip the rest of the day and come over to my house;)

Babe: aw babe

Babe: I would but I have rehearsal today

Bae<3: you can afford to miss one day right?

Babe: not if I want to get the lead role

Bae<3: but baby…

Babe: …

Bae<3: please

Bae<3: ive been feeling down and this would really cheer me up=(

Babe: …ok

Bae<3: great! Meet me out front after class!

Bae<3: <3

Babe: <3

{Young ‘N’ Rotten}

Goblin: so?

Sharkie: he came to pick me up

Hunkules: in the middle of the day?

Sharkie: yeah im skipping

Gaylien: um but we have rehearsal

Sharkie: I wont be able to make it today

Gaylien: Lance if you miss it you might not get the lead

Sharkie: I know

Sharkie: but Alex isn’t feeling too great so I have to be there for him

Hunkules: are you sure you cant just come back later

Hunkules: this role is really important to you

Sharkie: I know how important it is to me ive been dreaming about it for forever

Sharkie: but Alex comes before that

{Hatie_Kolt has made a group chat}

{Hatie_Kolt has added Red.K and Hunk-Man}

{Hatie_Kolt has changed the chat name to Help Our Blue Boy}

Hatie_Kolt: ok so I don’t like whats happening here

Hunk-Man: me either

Hunk-Man: Lance has been wanting the lead role for months now

Red.K: I told you Alex was bad news

Hatie_Kolt: yes I know you were right

Hatie_Kolt: point is im not letting him mess up Lance’s future

Hatie_Kolt: so we need a plan of action

Hunk-Man: wait were not splitting them up are we?

Red.K: that’s where I saw this leading

Hunk-Man: guys we cant break them up

Hunk-Man: have you seen how happy Lance is

Hatie_Kolt: would you prefer him happy for a short time or happy in the long run

Hatie_Kolt: because I don’t see this relationship heading anywhere but into the fucking flames

Hatie_Kolt: so make up your mind now and decide if your going to watch Lance crumble alone or help us help him

Hunk-Man: but I feel so guilty

Red.K: Hunk it’s the right thing to do

Hunk-Man: I know…

Hatie_Kolt: look we wont involve you if you don’t want to be involved but you cant tell Lance about this chat

Hatie_Kolt: under ANY circumstances

Hunk-Man: alright

Hunk-Man: just don’t hurt him please?

Hatie_Kolt: who do you take us for

Red.K: I would die before I hurt Lance again

Hunk-Man: ok lets settle a bit jesus

{JOLLY FUCKS}

The Grinch: gather round yall ive got a bone to pick

Daddy Christmas: aren’t you in class

Tree Boi: ooh drama

The Grinch: a little binch told me that hes not going to be going to the rehearsal

The Grinch: and this binch aint Keith

Daddy Christmas: Lance is that true?

Elf Boi: Pidge you tattle tale

Daddy Christmas: Lanec you cant skip class