Chapter Text
Namjoon prided himself on his observational skills. He was smart and when it came to understanding people that you had lived with for two years, things started to almost come naturally. Whenever Jungkook played with his hair, he was nervous, when Yoongi tugged at his ears he was nervous too. Taehyung wouldn’t look you in the eye if he was lying, and Jimin had a habit of biting his nails whenever he was overstressed. Piece by piece, week by week, Namjoon grew to know all his bandmates little quirks. As a result, it became increasingly obvious when one of them was acting strange, or well, stranger than usual.
When Namjoon thinks back on it, the first time he knew something was up was when Jungkook started wearing sweatshirts. Which wasn’t unusual in the winter, but it was late spring and Jungkook was notoriously hot natured. Whenever they practiced without a camera, the maknae was known to strip as much as possible to try and keep cool, and now he could hardly find the boy without at least a long sleeve shirt on.
Namjoon worried at first that the boy was gonna have a heat stroke or pass out from dehydration or something because by the end of practice he would be soaked with sweat, his shirt clinging to his small frame as he executed every move with the same intensity as he did at the beginning. Then once it became clear that the maknae wasn’t gonna pass out on them, he worried that the long sleeves were covering something less….healthy. He had heard stories of people who hurt themselves and Jungkook had been more quiet than usual, yet it still seemed wrong to consider when Namjoon hadn’t even asked the boy what was going on.
Well, that was going to change tonight. Namjoon had been trying to keep track of Jungkook’s schedule because he wanted to ask the boy in the quiet of their dorm room but it seemed like the maknae was never in the dorms anymore, he was always out practicing; but Jungkook was always home by 10 on Fridays. The boy would come in dragging his feet, and quieter than any of them could recall him being before eating and going to bed. This time, when he went to the room, Namjoon followed.
“Kook-” Namjoon started walking in, the dancer was in the middle of taking off his pants when the leader walked in, and wow, he didn’t remember Jungkook being so lean. Maybe he was finally losing the rest of his baby fat?
“Yeah hyung?” He asked a tired note to his words.
“I was just wondering...uhmm…” Namjoon cut himself off, why was he even bothering Jungkook with this? The whole idea seemed ridiculous now that he was faced with asking the boy directly, “why you’ve been wearing your sweatshirts so much recently?” Might as well finish now I’ve already started.
“Huh?”
“You know, you used to wear short sleeves a lot and now you...don’t?” Namjoon was cringing internally as he waited for the answer.
“Oh, I don’t know, I’ve just been colder recently, plus I’m trying to practice for when we have to perform at concerts,” Jungkook replied, turning from him to ruffle his hair where the sweat had dried with it stuck to his face.
“That’s it?” Namjoon asked, relieved.
“I mean, yeah?”
“So you’re not...like...cutting yourself right?” Namjoon said, just needing to be absolutely sure.
“No.” Jungkook’s tone was stiffer than it had been before, but it was still even.
“So you don’t mind if I check?”
“Go ahead.”
Namjoon took the few steps necessary to bring them closer, Jungkook was still standing in his boxers, and his legs looked a little...bruised? But no cuts. And then when Namjoon pulled up the sleeves of the sweatshirt, he was pleased to see no cuts. Although there was a large bruise on his forearm.
“Where did this come from?”
“Oh, the other day I was practicing some choreography in here and I forgot that the bed was so close and smacked my arm against the post, it’s no big deal, hyung,” Jungkook replied, pulling his arm out of the hold and plugging his phone in by the bed. “Is that all?”
“Yeah. Just be careful Kook, no one wants you to get hurt.”
“Yeah, of course, hyung,” Jungkook said before sliding into bed and laying on his back, phone in hand.
“Okay, well, night.”
“Night.”
Namjoon felt a little ridiculous for having such an active imagination, clearly, everything was fine and he had been watching too much tv. He went back out to the others where they watched a movie before they all decided to call it a night. Namjoon yawned as he walked back into the room, it was only 12:30 but it felt later after the hectic week and he was more than ready for bed. The lights were off and Namjoon stumbled a little trying to get to his bed and he hoped that he didn’t wake Jungkook amongst the rustling. However, everything was quiet and he soon drifted off.
The sound of crying woke him up. Namjoon almost jumped out of bed to figure out what was wrong, but decided against it; Jungkook was a private person and confronting him wasn’t the way to figure out what was wrong. Instead, Namjoon laid there and listened as the boy quietly cried and sniffled, finally after half an hour passed, the noises stopped and Namjoon assumed the boy fell asleep. He figured the boy might be homesick, which wasn’t uncommon, especially since he was so young, so Namjoon decided to watch out in case things got worse.
For a week and a half Jungkook cried at night, then it stopped.
1B Jungkook
At first, Jungkook loved their new choreographer, he was fun and kind but he took things seriously; it seemed like the perfect fit and they were all excited to learn from him. Then things started to change. Jungkook was asked to stay after to work on a part of the choreography that he had ‘struggled’ with, even though he felt like he had executed it just fine. However it wasn’t his place to decide whether or not he needed extra practice, so he went. It was one or two nights for the first month, then it was three or four for a month, then it was every night. Jungkook couldn’t ever recall needing so much help with dance but it certainly felt like he was getting better, he tired a lot slower than everyone else now and his movements were always exactly right, well usually.
Sometimes when he had extra practice, Choreographer Lee-nim would lightly smack him if he wasn’t listening. Jungkook didn’t have a problem with it, he understood that he needed someone to keep him focused when he got tired and it was only after he messed up three times. Then the smacks got a little harder and they came after each time he messed up. However he still felt like things were fine, he was never seriously hurt and it was working; he had however started wearing more long sleeves to hide the small bruises. Then one-day Jungkook managed to mess up the same move four times in a row. He had prepared himself for another smack when a foot hit him hard in the ribs and he fell to the ground.
What was going on, he couldn’t just kick him, right?
“Lee-nim, why? You can’t do this…” Jungkook said, feeling a little confused, “Our last choreographer never did anything like this.”
“Well clearly he had more patience than I did, you can’t expect to keep screwing up and not get punished, it’s amazing you’ve made it this far honestly,” Lee said, walking closer.
“What are you talking about?” Jungkook’s mind raced, suddenly scared, “You can’t do this. I’ll tell the others.”
“Go ahead, you think they’ll care? They certainly don’t seem to care now. I mean they even told you to get yourself together today in practice.”
Jungkook pulled himself up slowly, pain radiating from the spot he got kicked, thinking back to practice today that had become a common occurrence. Jungkook had been dragging a little on his steps because he hadn’t been getting much sleep and Hoseok-hyung who was known for his patience finally told him to stop and get himself together before saying practice was done for the day. Suddenly Lee-nim’s hand shot out and grabbed his arm, pulling him close, “You’re a pathetic excuse for a person and they know it. They put up with you for a long time, but they’re done. You want them to care about you? You have to prove yourself to them and that you aren’t wasting everyone’s time.”
Jungkook whimpered a little as the grip tightened even more before releasing.
“Now get up and run the move again and get it right.”
Jungkook shook a little as he stood but he did as he was told and that night when he got back to the dorms, he cried.
A week and a half later, he couldn’t be bothered to cry, he knew where he was and where he needed to get, and crying wasn’t going to help anything.