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Zefram Cochrane was attempting to drink himself into a stupor when the vulcan slid gracefully into the seat opposite him.
"I do not believe we have been properly introduced." he said coolly, raising his voice a little to be heard over the revelers in the camp, "I am Solkar of Vulcan."
"Zefram Cochrane." Once he focused, Zefram recognized the vulcan he'd shaken hands with. The one he'd made first goddamn contact with, "Er, of Earth. Hell of a night, huh?" The vulcan's brows furrowed, and Zefram hurried to explain, "Er, it means it's been an eventful night."
"A curious expression." the vulcan-Solkar-said, "Yet an accurate one. I imagine this is a great milestone for your civilization."
"Yep." Zefram clucked his tongue, "I imagine the press will be all over you guys come tomorrow. You have my pity."
"It appears journalists are similar no matter the race." Solkar would probably have laughed if he was human. Zefram found himself wondering if it was possible to make a vulcan laugh.
"Guess we're going down in history." Zefram said only a little bitterly, "At least we both got in a firm handshake with an alien before our lives go to hell."
"Indeed." If Zefram didn't know any better, he'd say the vulcan looked amused, "I can only imagine the expressions on my crewmate's faces when I took your hand."
"Why? Don't tell me this your first first contact?" Zefram chuckled. Solkar's eyebrow lifted rather highly.
"Not at all." he said, "The reason for any emotional reaction on their part is far simpler than that, though I remember now that you are likely unaware of it. Among vulcans, the act of hand-to-hand contact is one reserved for those in intimate relationships."
"What?" Zefram slowly lowered his glass, "So, wait, we shook hands, what did that...?"
"Simply put," Solkar explained, "the first contact between vulcans and humans was a rather passionate... I believe I've heard the term 'makeout session' used."
"So what you're saying is... I kissed you?" Zefram gaped incredulously, "We made out?"
"Quite intensely." Solkar was definitely enjoying his reactions, "You are turning red, is that a normal occurrence?"
"Uh... shit." he said lamely, looking anywhere but Solkar, "Sorry about that. T-The kissing, not the blushing."
"Oh, I was not offended." Solkar assured him even as he appeared to file the blushing bit away for later, "I am aware that is it merely a difference in cultures. To refuse your hand would likely have caused offense or misunderstanding. It was logical to accept the gesture."
"Still," Zefram didn't know what to do with his hands, "I didn't-Wait, you just full on macked the first human you ever met?"
"I am unfamiliar with that term." Solkar said slowly, "But... yes. However, if I may clarify." he held out two fingers, looking to Zefram to copy him. When Zefram eventually did, he pressed their fingers together, holding them there for a moment before drawing back.
"That was a vulcan kiss. What we did earlier was... something else entirely." Zefram wasn't sure if it was the firelight or the alcohol that made it look like the vulcan was flushing green.
"Oh, god." Zefram put his head in his hands, "Shoot me now."
"Is the idea of kissing me so offensive that you wish for death?" he couldn't be sure, but the alien sounded almost disappointed.
"No!" Zefram's head shot up, "No, that's not it at all! It's just... ah, shit, I just can't believe I screwed up first contact that badly."
"You have screwed nothing up. As I said, I was not offended." Solkar assured coolly, "I confess I have something of a reputation among my crew for being exceedingly willing to enter mysterious or unknown situations with extraterrestrials. In this one, my crew were likely appalled, but not surprised."
"Shit, man, you must be real popular back home." Zefram managed to laugh, sipping his drink to force down the embarrassment still threatening to close up his throat
"However my reputation, I do not make a habit of engaging in such intimate acts with strangers. However..." he seemed to pause, searching for the right words, "Your skill pertaining to the act was... exceptional."
"Y-You're saying I'm a good kisser?" Zefram nearly choked on his drink, distantly wondering if this alien would ever quit catching him off guard. Solkar inclined his head in agreement.
"Indeed. I found kissing you to be most pleasurable." he seemed entirely unaffected by the rapidly reddening human across from him, "Perhaps, should you desire, your talented hands may be better employed elsewhere." He said it like he was offering his business card instead of his body. His... lithe, slim body, hidden under the robes. Thinking about it now, Solkar was not an unattractive man. The hair was a little weird but he made it work, his eyes were dark and seemed to challenge him, his fingers were long and nimble, and his fascinating ears definitely didn't hurt his case.
Before Zefram could answer, with either a holy shit or an empathetic hell yes he wasn't sure, Solkar was called by one of his crew. With an exhale that almost sounded annoyed, he stood, smoothing his robes down and taking one last look at Zefram.
"I do hope you will consider my offer. I believe it would be an enlightening experience for the both of us." With an slight touch to his shoulder, Solkar returned to his brethren by the fire.
Zefram remained in his seat in a state of shock. Solkar, an apathetic alien, had been... flirting with him. Weird, clinical flirting but definitely flirting. Zefram had accidentally kissed an alien, and somehow he'd been good enough to pique his interest. An entire race of emotionless elves and Zefram accidentally kisses the flirty one. On that note, if hands were for kissing, then what did that shoulder touch mean? Was that like... vulcan groping? God damn, he needed another drink.
"Everything alright, Zefram?" Lily's voice snapped him out of his racing thoughts as she took the seat Solkar had just vacated, "That vulcan didn't say anything to upset you, did he?"
"No, but I'm starting to think that fella's some kind of alien maverick." Zefram moaned, putting his head in his hands, "I think they just found the most hotshot vulcan they could and sent him our way."
"Captain Picard said fast and loose vulcans are more common than they'd have you believe." Lily said with a snort, "Why, what did he say?" Zefram glanced back at where Solkar was talking quietly to his vulcan buddies. As if sensing his gaze, he glanced back at Zefram, the firelight creating dancing shadows on his face as he raised his eyebrow in what looked suspiciously like a dare.
"I'm gonna fuck an alien." Zefram said, completely ignoring her question. Lily choked on her drink.