Chapter Text
“Operation Bughead?!” Veronica wrinkled her nose.
“C’mon, it’s catchy, it’s cute!”
“Really Kevin? Bughead? What’s wrong with, I don’t know, “Jetty”? That at least has a modicum of gravitas to it. That’s assuming we actually need some sort of juvenile codename in the first – ”
Veronica brought her diatribe to an abrupt halt as a rather sweaty Archie jogged up to them. “What are we talking about guys?”
“Err, Lice”, Kevin replied, bravely ignoring the sharp kick Veronica administered under the bench.
Surprisingly, Archie looked more hurt than sceptical. “Thanks a lot, Kevin," he hissed, "I told you about that in confidence.”
*****
Before Operation Bughead had become the obvious plan of attack, Operation Find Betty New Romance had been going anything but swimmingly. The target remained stubbornly, frustratingly hung up on Archie; Jughead seemed even more grumpy than usual; and even Kevin seemed to be running out of ideas.
Hopeless as it seemed, Veronica hated the idea of their strange alliance coming to naught and giving up on helping Betty mend her wounded heart.
As was true of so many great, and terrible, ideas, the plan had been sown at Pop’s. Watching a dejected Betty walk out the door when the night was still young yet again, Veronica and Kevin agreed that it was time to take matters into their own hands.
It was something Veronica had been deliberating for a while. Cute though Ronnie had to admit he was, she couldn’t help but think that Betty was probably far better off without Archie. And she’d realise that a lot sooner in the company of a more suitable companion. Preferably one even cuter than Archiekins, who would actually treat Betty like the queen she is.
She badly wanted to help her friend, that was true, but, to herself, Ronnie did have to admit that her motives weren’t entirely selfless.
Archie was an open book, and, thanks to the puppydog looks she had caught him turning her way, Veronica couldn’t help but feel partially responsible for Betty’s pain. She also suspected his interest in Riverdale High’s most insipid teacher wasn’t entirely down to his enthusiasm for strumming her instruments, thanks to how grovelingly pathetic he became in the woman’s vapid presence. Thankfully Betty was too blinded by her own hopes and hurt to see where Archie’s attention truly lay.
Just as she’d expected, Kevin was quick to agree that there were few better ways to get over a cute boy than by getting under another, and even Jughead looked surprisingly interested in the conversation.
The stage was set, and the idea was solid, but putting it into practice had proved more headache-inducing than tracking down a Birkin in a sample sale.
Things had looked up when Betty quite willingly went to Pop’s with Trev Brown, one of Riverdale’s most eligible, and cutest, bachelors and Kevin’s first pic for a match. The next morning she was aglow and positively skipped into class. Could they have struck gold first go? Kevin was every bit as thrilled as Veronica, who put Jughead’s less than ebullient demeanour down to Jughead’s less than ebullient demeanour.
“Betty, you’re positively glowing – should I take it the date with Trev was a success?” Veronica had asked.
“Date?! No, it wasn’t a date.” Betty wrinkled her nose. “It was much better than that. We had a great chat about potential stories for the Blue & Gold, and he thinks he might be able to get me an interview with Oscar Castillo.”
“But he’s totally cute, no? You guys would be adorable together.”
“Oh he’s super cute, but …like a puppy. He feels almost like a little brother to me.”
Of course, that was the moment that Jughead finally deigned to look pleased at the situation. Contrary bastard, Veronica thought to herself, giving Kevin a firm nudge before he made a “hey, what’s good enough for the Blossoms..!” comment.
Other suitors had been far less successful. For someone, who had been friends with Betty since childhood, Jughead seemed to have very little idea of what might constitute a suitable match for her and reluctant to even try. When pressed he refused to budge from his suggestion of Dilton Doiley.
Why does the boy insist on being so weird? She’d only brought Jughead in on the plan because he seemed so outraged at Archie’s treatment of Betty – and even more angry than normal at the world now that it had cast a pall over Little Miss Sunshine. Well, that and the fact she and Kevin had been left alone with him for more than 10 minutes, which was 9 more than she knew how to fill with someone who treated awkwardness as sport.
Never one to be deterred, she repaid his uncooperativeness with determined positivity. “Well, he is the smartest person in Riverdale, and Betty is basically a genius. So maybe it isn’t the worst idea in the world.”
It was the worst idea in the world.
Or at least that was what she thought until desperation had led her to the bright idea of choosing Reggie as their next target. She still thought the idea had had some merit – ok, so the boy was an absolute jackass, but who said a cerebral or romantic match was what Betty needed? Non-taxing eye candy was the perfect distraction from a broken heart and the ideal gateway drug to the hard stuff of true love.
Crafty sleight of hand during a game of 7 minutes in Heaven, which they’d somehow managed to wrangle a protesting Betty into, was all that had been needed to put the pair of them alone together. A turn of events that appeared to delight Reggie every bit as much as it vexed Betty.
“Go on Betts, give it a chance” she’d prodded.
Less than four minutes later and Betty was running out the door in furious tears. Without missing a beat and with eyes flashing murder, Jughead flew at Reggie, as Veronica and Kevin raced out the door.
It took some persuasion, but they'd managed to convince Betty to go to Pop’s for a comfort milkshake and to accept their most profuse apologies.
“It’s not a big deal. Just Reggie being Reggie. I’d normally just ignore him or laugh it off, but… I guess I’m just tired, and since the whole Archie mess there just seems to be a parade of boys demanding my energy, when I’d rather just be hanging out with you guys – hey, where’s Jughead?”
“Dealing with Reggie being Reggie, I believe”, said Kevin, with a grimace.
A few awkward moments later and a furious looking Jughead stormed in.
“Betty! Are you ok?”
“Yes, yes, I’m fine. Are you?”
Jughead just shook his head, staring at Betty.
Veronica suddenly had the very unfamiliar feeling of being invisible.
Eventually the world seemed to come back into focus for him.
“Yeah, I’m fine Betts. Maybe Reggie would have hit me but he realised there was a mirror in the room and totally forgot I was there. If anyone else was hoping for 7 minutes in Heaven they’re out of luck tonight.”
It was far from a stellar Jughead quip but Betty laughed as if it was the funniest thing she’d ever heard, while Jughead managed to look simultaneously bashful and delighted with himself.
Veronica and Kevin exchanged a glance
“Umm, I just need to borrow Veronica for a moment”, said Kevin, jumping out of the booth.
Betty’s preoccupied lack of curiosity as the pair headed for the door spoke volumes.
“Kevin, we are utter dullards. Riverdale’s answer to Salinger is head over heels for Betty!”
“God, how did I miss this?! Am I broken? Well, it’s obvious what we have to do now. This whole time… It was as plain as the nose on Jug's face!”