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"What do you mean you need to go to Idumea?" Magnus says, trying to hide the panic in his voice, but fearing he failed miserably.
Magnus knows the capital of Edom is Idumea. He knows entirely too much about Edom, and he has spent centuries trying to forget any and all things related to that part of his life.
The fact Alec, his Alec had just mentioned needing to travel to its capital sent dread and fear into Magnus, the kind of fear he has been actively trying to avoid since he began a relationship with him.
Alec looks at Magnus, aware that to the others in the room it may seem like Magnus is fine, completely put together, like nothing and no one has gotten to him, but Alec knows different. He can hear the change in Magnus' voice, almost a nervousness, an underlining panic. His brows are elevated, and he can't stay still, even more jittery than normal.
Alec can also see the distress in Magnus' eyes, the subtle change is there, it's evident if someone knows where to look. Alec's concerned but he's not sure how to approach the subject and ask Magnus, so he answers his question instead. "Yes," Alec says, "ever since the rift was opened the day Valentine died, letting in demons, we have been getting demonic activity in this very spot."
Magnus nods, the words filtering in a little at a time. "Yes, but I closed the rift, how could there still be demon activity going on? I thought the demons disappeared..."Magnus asks, eye brows bunched in confusion.
Izzy looks up from the computer. "They have." She sighs, "but there's clearly something still going on. Our sensors are indicating demon activity in this area, entering the city and spreading. We need to get to Edom and shut this down from the inside, and we obviously need your help with that." Izzy can see Magnus is not pleased, but she stresses the importance of Magnus to their mission anyway. "We also need a way to get back, which is also where you come in, Magnus."
Magnus shakes his head vigorously. Hell no, no, absolutely not. Sometimes he is amazed at how naive these Shadowhunters can be. "No, this is a bad idea. Traveling to Edom is not like going to Mardi Gras and worrying about if you stepped in something wet on the sidewalk and trying to guess if it was either water, beer, or piss, you stupid Nephilim!" Magnus is practically shouting. He knows he's being unreasonably angry to his friends, as they don't understand his history and that's not their fault, but this is Edom.
Alec looks at Magnus in concern because now he knows there is something going on, something Magnus hasn't told him. Magnus can be witty and sarcastic, but he's never mean. This is fear talking. He's about to take a step forward and order everyone out so he can talk to Magnus privately but before he can do that, Jace interrupts. "Listen...we know going to Edom is no walk in the park, Magnus." He says.
Magnus huffs and rolls his eyes in annoyance, contemplating if he should say something sarcastic in response but chooses not to.
"But... if you won't do it, Clary can."
Magnus narrows his eyes at Jace, wanting very much to bring him down a peg or two; his overconfidence is dangerous, but for the sake of Alec he doesn't. Magnus looks at Clary who is clearly uncomfortable, but doesn't refute what Jace has said. Magnus looks to Alec for support, but the wind is knocked out of him when he sees him look back at him with torn eyes, as if he's considering it, as if he's going to do it, and Magnus realizes he will if Magnus won't help him.
"Alexander... " Magnus breathes, too upset to say anything more. He knows what could happen if they go to Edom. Alec can't go to Edom. "You can't go to Edom... please." He begs. And while Magnus is mortified to show this much vulnerability in front of more than just Alec, he's willing to do it for Alec, to keep him safe.
"Magnus... I don't understand. You've never had a problem like this with any of my missions..."Alec says, looking around at everyone, clearly uncomfortable to be having this conversation in front of an audience. "Do you want to talk about this...," he trails off.
And Magnus knows Alec is implying they talk about this privately, but Magnus knows everything needs talked about now because Alec is about to start making plans to go to Edom and Magnus will be damned if he let's them go without him. If he lets Alec go without him.
"No." Magnus shakes his head. "I'll help, but not because I want to, because you're leaving me no choice. If I don't go, you'll all be sure to die. This is a horrible idea and it's more dangerous than you can possibly imagine; it might very well kill us all." Magnus takes a deep breath, as if the air itself will give him courage and strength. "Edom, is the demon realm run by my father Asmodeus, The Prince of Hell or King.... depending on how you look at it, where he rules it with Lilith." Magnus blows out a breath, as if the words had been locked inside of him for so long, finally providing him some relief and room to breathe and continue, "who is not my mother, by the way." He adds quickly. Magnus chooses to leave out the part about his mother. Only Alec knew about his mother and he's sure Alec will be able to draw his own conclusions about his mother and Asmodeus now.
Magnus doesn't look at Alec. He looks everywhere but Alec; however, he hears an intake of breath, and he can hear someone's breathing become more rapid and quick. Magnus is almost certain it's Alec's, but he's too afraid to look up and check; he has to finish, and if he looks at Alec now he won't be able to.
"It is not a pleasant place... it is a barren, burnt-out wasteland, one in which is dangerous and will suck the life right out of you... us, if we're not careful."
Magnus finally looks up, thinking he will have a huge weight lifted off his shoulders now that the truth is revealed, but he doesn't... all he feels is anxiety and fear. He's fearful about what he will see in his friend's faces... he's fearful of what Alec will think about him keeping something this big from him for so long and what he will think of him now that he knows he's the son of the Prince of Hell.
He doesn't see any of that in Jace, Izzy, and Clary's faces, just surprise and perhaps awe.
Alec's face is, however, expressionless. He can't read anything in his face, just the rise and fall of his chest that is going much faster than it was moments ago.
"So let me get this straight," Jace begins, causing Magnus to look away from Alec."You're technically the Prince of Hell?" Jace asks.
And Magnus laughs; he can't help it, even though he knows nothing about this situation is funny, but leave it to Jace to make a joke at a time like this.
"Technically..." Magnus says, rolling his eyes. "But I prefer to be called The High Warlock of Brooklyn."
And Alec turns abruptly, walking out of the room, not saying a word to anyone as he goes.
Magnus watches him go, his stomach sinking.
"Go after him." Izzy says, touching his shoulder in comfort.
"I... "
"It will be okay." Izzy assures him.
Magnus nods, forcing himself to face this head on.
***
Magnus thought about knocking before entering Alec's office but decided against it. He knew Alec wasn't doing any work related business. When he entered, Alec's front was facing the door, half sitting on the desk, legs crossed at the ankles, his arms folded in front of him, looking at the ground.
"What else don't I know about you?" Alec asks, never looking up from the ground, as if he found something incredibly fascinating down there.
Magnus' chest clinches. "Well, considering I'm centuries old, I'd imagine quite a lot. It all starts to blur after awhile..."Magnus says, trying to lighten the mood.
Alec looks up, meeting Magnus' eyes, and Magnus thinks he might see a ghost of a smile on his lips, and he wants to cry with relief.
"Why didn't you tell me, Magnus?" Alec whispers.
Magnus shrugs."I dunno... I guess, I've been trying to forget that part of me for so long, and if I'm honest... like I said when I told you about my mother, I didn't want you to see the ugly parts of me, and being the son of the Prince of Hell, is about as ugly as it gets..." Magnus looks away from Alec's face, avoiding eye contact. "And I didn't want to be reminded of the fact you're literally half-angel, Alec, and I'm literally half-demon." Magnus says, the words tasting bitter on his tongue.
Alec gets up from the desk, making his way over to Magnus. "Magnus, hey...look at me." Alec touches Magnus' chin gently as he lifts his head to look at him.
"You have been listening to the Clave too much, Magnus. You of all people know we are not our parents. I grew up in a world that told me being who I am was wrong and that Downworlders are beneath us, but here I am, out and openly in love with one of bravest and kindest Downworlders in New York. We are not who our parents and society tells us we are. You are not your father. You may be half-demon, but Magnus... you are also half-human. We are more alike than different, and you are the most amazing person I have ever met. There is nothing ugly about you, there never has been, and there never will be, no matter who your family is, and there will never be anything you tell me about your past or who your family is that will make me run or see you as anything other than beautiful, so you remember that the next time you're trying to decide if you should tell me something about yourself you think I won't understand or like." And with that Alec wipes the tears from Magnus' cheeks, kissing him on the forehead.
"I love you so much, Alexander." Magnus whispers, admiring his boyfriend's words and how he spoke them. Alec has always been blunt and matter of fact, speaking the truth whether is hurt someone's feeling or not; it is one of the things Magnus loves most about him and admires about him. Magnus knows Alec is being truthful because that's who Alec is.
"I love you, too."
"Now, let's go figure out how to shut down this rift for good without dying. " Alec takes Magnus' hand. "This place really that bad?" Alec questions.
Magnus looks at Alec, straight in his eyes, conveying just how serious he is. "It's worse than you can imagine."
Alec nods. "Then we will figure this out... together." He says, kissing Magnus on the lips.
"Together." Magnus mumbles against Alec.