Chapter Text
Looking back on his life, Jack had never expected it to turn out like this.
As the seasons changed, as humid summer turned into bitter winter, he found himself changing with them in ways he’d never imagined. He’d always been a soldier, always willing to serve and do what was best for the people. No. Not the people, he decides; for his family.
For Lena, for Angela, for Winston. Most importantly, for Gabriel.
The thought makes his chest hurt, and so he takes a drag of the cigarette he’s holding, instead focusing on the acrid taste and the burning in his lungs. If they could see him now, they’d be ashamed, he decides.
Shaky fingers push through grey hair, before he unclips his visor and places it on the wall he’s leaning against. Immediately the world goes blurry around him, barely seeing eyes staring blankly ahead, and Jack feels lost. A part of him wishes he could just leave this place, return to Overwatch, to his family. But he knows it wouldn’t be the same. And after all he’s done, he realises with an ache in his heart, he doubts they would want him back.
Jack sighs, takes another drag of his cigarette. And another, until he lets the stub fall from his fingers, crushing it against the floor with his boot. He lights another one. The flicker of flame from his lighter is the only source of warmth in the frosty outdoor air.
He doesn’t need to see to recognise the figure that opens the glass door in front of him. The blurred black figure steps outside, shuts the door behind him. They look at one another in silence. Jack breathes in the smoke, breathes it out, his heart thudding a little quicker. As it always does when he’s near him.
“You should be getting ready, Morrison.”
The words make Jack’s chest ache with longing, head rushing back to the days when he would call him words of adoration, rather than speaking so officially. So unattached.
“I am ready.” Is all he rumbles in response, and silence falls over them again.
Slowly, the masked figure approaches him, taking the stub of a cigarette out of Jack’s hand and dropping it to the icy floor. Clawed hands make their way to his hips, and a sigh falls from him, letting his eyes close. He tries to pretend that things are different, that the man would kiss him sweetly and gently reassure him that things were going to be okay. Neither of those things happen.
Instead, Jack opens his eyes, staring at the figure before him. He raises his gloved hands to the skull mask covering his face, and when he’s not stopped, he gently lifts it and places it beside him, beside his visor on the wall. The hands on his hips tighten.
Being so close, he can vaguely make out his face. His dark skin, his unkept beard, the scars marring his features. He gently lets his thumb trace one on his cheek, feeling the cold skin.
“What are you doing, Jack?”
“What happened to us, Gabe?” The shorter man counters his words with a question he expects no answer to. Unsurprisingly, he doesn’t receive an answer.
When Gabriel doesn’t reply, Jack pushes the boundaries by leaning forwards and pressing their lips together. He’s cold and unresponsive for a long moment, and Jack sighs when the other man kisses him back, giving in to his whims. With his eyes closed, he can pretend for a moment that they’re back where they used to be. Jack can pretend that they’re standing in his office at the Overwatch base. He can pretend that they’re kissing with meaning and passion, that the love he feels is mutual between them. He can almost feel Gabriel’s hands exploring his body, his lips brushing against his as he whispers ‘mine’. But in reality, the kiss is just cold and meaningless, so he pulls back and keeps his eyes shut.
The silence is suffocating, and desperation rises in his chest.
When he’d discovered that Gabriel, his best friend, the love of his life, was still alive, he’d felt his world crash around him. Especially as Gabriel was no longer that man, but instead the shadowy figure of Reaper. But Jack had hung onto the stupid hope that they could still be together, as they were always meant to be. He’d left everything behind, everything he’d fought for, to join Talon and be with Gabriel. And still, it wasn’t the same. He’s unsure why he’d expected it to be the same.
His doubts are quickly silenced as Gabriel presses their bodies together, and Jack opens his eyes to survey the other man, unseeing blue meeting dark brown.
“Come, mi amor,” Gabriel murmurs, knowing exactly how to twist Jack back around his little finger. “It’s time to go.”
And just like that, he leaves as silently as he had arrived, not before picking his mask back up and hiding his features with it again.
Jack clenches his hands into fists, teeth gritted together, before he sighs again. Inhale, exhale. Like he had been trained to do, he falls back into soldier mode, slotting his visor back into place. He picks up his pulse rifle, and breathes again.
He wonders if this is how he would spend the rest of his damned life, chasing after a shadow he could no longer have.
As he walks towards the glass door and sees his reflection, a broken image of the man he once was, Jack decides that it was worth it. For every extra day he gets to see Gabriel, it was worth it. It has to be.
Looking back on his life, Jack had never expected it to turn out like this.