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Chloe was drunk. It was painfully obvious to everyone who spotted her, herself included, but she didn't care. Blissful ignorance. That's what she wanted a part of. But no matter how many drinks she poured back, all her thoughts were on her stupid, elegant, beautiful partner: Nadine.
It'd been a week since they'd last seen each other.
But Chloe didn't want to think about it or her self-imposed exile. She wanted to drink until she couldn't feel a thing and then sleep until the hangover left her.
Her phone went off. She ignored it. It was most likely Nadine again, the stubborn jackass. She'd been pestering her for a couple days now. It hurt more that Nadine seemed much more likely to blame herself than to think Chloe was fucking up. Her first texts had asked if she'd done anything wrong or said something off. She was ready and willing to apologize for something she didn't know about yet.
Chloe leaned her head on her hand, elbow on the bar. She looked down at her phone. The new message was bright on her lockscreen. "At least let me know you're okay."
God, Nadine Ross was more than she ever deserved. Chloe hated that.
She motioned for another shot and didn't hesitate to down it once it reached her. She'd probably regret this in the morning.
One more shot. Then she'd head home.
Chloe woke up in a bed that wasn't hers. She knew this right away-- she didn't own purple bed sheets. She let out a groan as she pushed herself up. Her head was killing her. Her vision swam a bit as she looked around. Why did everything look vaguely familiar?
Chloe put fingers to her temples and squeezed her eyes shut. Maybe going back to sleep would help.
"You're up."
Chloe looked over to see Nadine Ross standing in the door way.
Shit. That's why everything seemed familiar. This was Nadine's bedroom.
Nadine, thank the gods, was fully clothed. So was she, Chloe noted. At least that was going for her.
"How did I...?"
Nadine's expression was hard to read. "You fell asleep at the bar. Bar tender couldn't wake you, so he called the first person on your phone."
"You came and got me?"
"You're my partner. I wouldn't have left you there."
Chloe frowned. She really didn't deserve Nadine Ross in her life. She briefly wondered if she had done something absolutely brilliant in a past life because she certainly hadn't done anything to warrant a woman like Nadine appearing in her life.
Nadine gave her a long look before turning away. "I'll get you a glass of water."
Chloe watched her go and collapsed back onto the bed. Her head was killing her, and it wasn't just the hangover. But she was somewhere safe. At least that was going for her.
She must've fallen back asleep because the next time she woke, there was a glass of water on the bed stand and the room was brighter from the sun coming through the windows. With a groan, she sat up and grabbed for the water.
Feeling a bit better, she sighed and rubbed her temples.
After avoiding Nadine for nearly a week, she was now sitting in Nadine's bed. That made the whole "avoiding" deal rather difficult. And knowing Nadine, she'd want answers.
But how was Chloe supposed to explain?
The truth was terrifying and Nadine knew her well enough to tell when she was lying.
This was not going to be fun.
Chloe considered just going back to sleep, but she already knew she couldn't hide forever.
She regretted standing up, but it wasn't her biggest regret of the last few hours. Her head swam as she made her way down the hall.
Nadine was seating on her couch, a book in hand. She looked up as Chloe came down the hall and sighed. Without a word, she moved to her small kitchen, enclosed by a half wall that served as a small table. She tapped a spot, indicating for Chloe to sit down. She, however, moved to the fridge and took out eggs.
Chloe stared at her hands. Nadine was cooking for her. This only made her feel worse.
Nadine had to be some sort of angel. Her partner had avoided her, not explained why, passed out at a bar... And she had gone to pick her up, made sure she was safe, and was now making her breakfast.
Chloe was certain: Nadine was too good for the world. And for her.
Ten minutes later, a plate was set down in front of her. An omelet and a few slices of toast.
"Eat. You'll feel better."
Chloe still didn't look up at her. She picked up the fork and dug in.
The silence between them was malleable. It didn't break until Chloe was halfway through her meal.
"Are you going to tell me?"
Chloe visibly flinched. She took a deep breath, but still didn't look up. Part of her wanted to play dumb. Say "what do you mean?" and act like it was an accident or say her phone had broken or literally anything that might free her from the situation. Instead, she mumbled the only thing she could. "It's not really... simple. I don't know how to explain."
A sigh left Nadine. "Try."
Chloe finally looked up. Nadine was leaning back on the counter, tension in every muscle. Her arms were crossed and her eyes were red, like she was about to cry.
That hurt more than Chloe expected.
She set her fork down and ran both hands down her face. She usually had no issue finding things to say, and now? God, why did Nadine do these things to her? It took another minute more before she could find what she needed.
"You terrify me," she admitted.
Nadine started at that. "W... Why? You're my partner. We work together."
Chloe shrugged. "I don't know."
The mercenary made a move like she was going to move closer, but held herself back. "I wouldn't hurt you."
"I know, I just... That's not how you scare me."
God, Chloe was bad at feelings. This whole deal was what she was the worst at and she had a chance of losing her closest friend by saying something stupid. The truth was she could pinpoint the moment that had filled her with equal parts joy and terror. And it had seemed so casual, Nadine probably didn't even remember it.
The two had been laughing, joking about some man or other, and Chloe had been overwhelmed. Nadine had touched her, gently, on the arm and said something sweet-- Chloe couldn't remember what but it'd made her feel... warm and full and suddenly very, very scared.
Chloe was horrible with that. She didn't know how to handle it. Casual relationships were her forte, not... not what she suddenly saw Nadine as.
"I don't know how to say it." She shook her head. "The hangover doesn't help..."
Nadine stepped closer. "Did I do something wrong?"
Chloe laughed. She actually laughed. It was bitter, but she did. "No, darling. I'm just an idiot." She shook her head, pushing her food away. She steadied her breathing, and finally got out what she'd been trying to avoid.
"I'm terrified of how much I care about you."
Nadine's jaw dropped. "Why... Why does that..?"
"You know me. I'm not good with people. And I'm really not good with how I feel about you." Chloe had given up. It was all or nothing now. She felt like she was going to cry but she did her best to half smile at her partner.
She watched Nadine's expression turn curious. "I have a question for you."
Chloe made a vague hand gesture. "Fire away."
"Platonically? Or romantically?"
Chloe looked away, running a hand through her hair and down her neck. "Yes." She chose not to look back up; the counter top was suddenly very interesting.
A hand cupped the side of her face and guided her to look up. Nadine was only a few inches away. She leaned forward and pressed a kiss first to her forhead, and then her cheek, and finally, the corner of her mouth.
Chloe was breatheless. "What are you...?"
Nadine grinned. "Making up for scaring you, obviously."
"Oh..." Chloe was overwhelmed again, honestly. But this one didn't feel as... hopeless. She didn't think she could feel hopeless with Nadine so close.
"Feel better?"
"I, I think so. Still have a bad hangover, though." They leaned their forheads together, both grinning. "I'm an idiot," Chloe mumbled.
A laugh left Nadine. "Maybe. But you did make it this far."
"Yes, but only after avoiding you, making you feel like you did something wrong, and getting completely shitfaced."
"Don't forget the part where I had to go pick you up."
"Ah, right. Thanks for that."
"What else am I here for?"
Chloe hummed. "It seems I'm lucky enough that you're here at all. I don't get to choose what for."
Nadine kissed her again. "So we're dating then?"
Chloe opened her eyes and pulled back a bit. "I'm not great at this whole emotion deal," she brought up again. "But I want to try."
Another kiss. "I have one request."
"Hm?"
"Tell me when something is wrong. Don't just disappear and hope it resolves itself."
Chloe nodded. "Okay. Okay, I can do that."
They shared a long look. "So we're dating?"
"Yeah. We're dating."