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Ray was most comfortable on the couch when he stretched out. That was where the habit of putting his feet in Jack’s lap came from. Ray would have his head in one of the lads or Geoff’s lap, his stomach would be over Ryan would liked to use it as a desk for his laptop, and his legs and feet would be over Jack. Even when it was just him and Jack on the couch, his feet were always in the man’s lap and being affectionately caressed.
He wasn’t sure when the affection stopped. When Jack started staring down at his feet like they were offending him. Ray stopped putting his feet in Jack’s lap but could no longer be comfortable on the couch for very long. He wasn’t the only one Jack was drawing away from either but Ray had no idea how to fix it. Did they just act normal? Did they need to smother him?
A night home with Gavin and Jack had been perfect. Ray even got his affectionate caresses back as they sat on the couch together. Then Gavin had fallen asleep over him and Ray took him to bed, asking Jack to join him the moment he felt tired. He curled up with Gavin and waited up for as long as he could until sleep took him.
Waking up to the sound of a car peeling away was disorienting.
He realizes that Jack is not in the living room and sends him a text asking if he needs to talk. Maybe the man just wanted some alone time? When he and Gavin make it to the living room though, a small panic rises because Jack left his key. The Brit’s breathing becomes ragged and he acts without thinking, getting the man to sit down and giving him water. He warns the other boys that Jack left without saying anything, and it’s Michael’s response that allows him to stay calm.
This late? Idiot better hope that someone else finds him before I do. -Michael
It soothes him because someone’s still joking. He needs that right now. Breathing becomes something he doesn’t have to focus on as he keeps trying to get Jack to answer. Sitting down with Gavin, he tries to keep the other man calm with anything he can think of but the Brit gets a text that makes him cry and Ray wants to punch whoever sent it. He tries again to get Jack to tell them where he is- using the guilt of making Gavin cry because the man hates doing that- but there’s no answer. He wraps himself around the Brit and tries to get his phone so he’ll stop stressing out from it but he doesn’t have the energy to fight with him.
Why won’t he answer them?
Everything only seems to go down. He has a phone call with Michael he doesn’t remember, tries to get a hold of Geoff and can’t, Ryan won’t answer his phone either and for a minute he wonders if the gents have just grown tired of the youths. He pushes the thought aside and Michael gets home.
Talking doesn’t seem like something he can do and Gavin starts hyperventilating so he just leans on Michael and tries to calm the other down. Michael doesn’t take his silence well and keeps muttering about the different ways to murder a man in a really thick accent. It’d be cute if Ray had the mood to enjoy it.
He sends Jack the situation and asks if they’re in a soap opera because he couldn’t have just left them.
Right?
Wrong, apparently. Maybe he’d found someone else. The thought sends him into tears and he asks again if Jack wouldn’t just leave them. Apparently he will and that’s all Ray can take. With a few deep breaths, he manages to get his thumbs in his control again to send another text to Jack before he lets Michael wrap him and Gavin up in comforting arms.
I guess you would. I’m so sorry Jack. You deserve someone who makes you happy. I hope wherever you ran has them. I’ll miss you. I still love you and need you. Always will. -Ray
Faintly, he realizes that Geoff and Ryan are home and it makes him breathe easier. They’re not gone too. They’re here. They’re here. But Jack is still gone. Maybe..Just maybe, Jack will be happier. Before he knows it he’s in the car with them and off to an apartment he’s never seen- just to make sure his lumberjack of a boyfriend is even still alive.
The door of the apartment is wide open and Ray’s never felt such an extreme rush of panic in his life.
But then Ryan’s rushing past them and Jack’s alive. He’s breathing and okay and asleep on the couch curled up around his phone. Idiot. Fucking idiot! He follows Ryan when the man carries him into the bedroom. After watching Jack curl his arm around Gavin, it feels like a small part of the weight has been lifted. He joins the lads, laying next to Gavin and running his hands through Jack’s hair.
He wakes up with Jack’s hand holding him tightly and exhales shakily before sitting up. The man’s awake and still holding the lads tightly- all of the tension in Ray’s chest dissolves and he leans over to kiss the man’s cheek. He’d kiss him more if he wasn’t afraid to dislodge Geoff. He makes his way to the door and hesitates there for a moment, mouth open as he begins to say something, but one look at the gents in the room makes him close his mouth and shake his head. He can talk to Jack later.
Pulling Ryan onto the couch, he curls up in the man’s lap and runs his hands over his shoulders. Half of the R and R connection had been up all night moving around and the exhaustion shows clearly so he won’t let the man move now. Gavin and Michael join them and they stay curled up on the couch trying to keep each other until the sound of Jack’s laughter reaches them.
Ray can feel all the worry just melt away as he lays against Michael and Gavin, letting Ryan get up to go tell Geoff and Jack they’re all packed and ready to go home. He smiles at the other lads and lets his head fall onto Michael’s shoulder. They’re all going home.
Just..Be happy okay? I need you to be happy. -Ray