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I'm listening.

Summary:

Yoongi had special feelings hidden the whole life.

Work Text:

'Hip hop is dead.' The person shyly smiled to the camera and walked off.

After the skit Yoongi got to the dressing room and while no one was looking took a bunch of selcas with maids outfit.


Few years later.

Shooting the 11th episode of Run.

'What the fuck is this?' Suga was looking at the reflection. Yoongi hated that it felt so right. Hated that feeling ever since childhood.

'Yoongi! Go!'

The said man sighed. 'Time to pretend to be a female student...'

After the shoot Jimin couldn't look away. 'Hyung, you look so beautiful.'

'Yeah, thanks, Jiminie.' Yoongi was on his way to the bathroom.

'Wait. Hyung...'

'What? I'm on my way to the bathroom, you want me to piss myself in the hall?'

Jimin showed a shy and a bit disappointed little smile. 'Sorry. Don't yell at me, hyung.'

'Sorry, Jiminie. I just really have a lot on my mind. Tell me what you want later okay?' Yoongi gently lifted Jimin's chin up to look at the soft brown eyes.

'Okay, sorry again.'

Yoongi just smiled at him and rushed to the bathroom. After doing what was planned Suga started taking selcas again. Yoongi wished to remember this appearance.

Suddenly, there's a knock on the door.

'Hyung? Could you hurry?'

Suga opened the door. 'All yours, Joon.' Yoongi walked away emotionless.

 

A few months later.

'Hyung?' Namjoon opened the door to a bedroom. There the rapper was quietly reading a book on the bed alone.

'What is it?' Suga's eyes moved up from the book and at the friend.

'Can I talk to you?'

'What's up?' The book was put down as Namjoon sat next to Yoongi.

'I want to talk about you, hyung.'

'What do you mean?'

'Um... Remember the filming of Run's episode 11?'

'Yeah?'

'It seemed like something was bothering you.'

'Well, you see... There's this thing that has been a bit of a problem for me for as long as I can remember.'

'Can I help you with anything?'

'No. I don't think so.' The older looked away.

'Just know I'm here for you, hyung.'

'Mhm.' Yoongi got back to reading the book.

Namjoon realised that the conversation was over. 'I'll leave now, but don't hesitate to ask for anything.' Yoongi just murmured something that seemed like a thanks and the younger left.

 

One evening Yoongi and Hoseok were the only ones in the dorm on a day off. They were watching TV, some drama was on. Yoongi wasn't paying much attention to it and laid down on the man's lap looking up to the ceiling. Hoseok smiled at his hyung and ran his fingers through Suga's hair.

'You want to sleep?'

'Mhm.'

'Okay.' He saw a blanket nearby in an arms reach. 'Would you like me to cover you up so you wouldn't get cold?'

'I don't care.' The older sighed.

Hoseok chuckled and did cover him up. 'Does that feel good, hyung?'

'Mhm.'

The one called J-Hope turned down the volume on the TV and focused on his friend, placed a hand on the other rapper's stomach.

'Do you want to talk about something?'

'Like what?'

'You often tell me something before falling asleep, maybe you wish to share your thoughts now?'

'There's something I wanted to tell someone for a long time, but there's no good way to say it... It would make me loose people...'

'I can't speak for other people, but you'll never loose me.' His hand traveled up to Yoongi's cheek as he cupped it. 'I care about you too much.'

The older blushed, turned to the side and hid his face in Hoseok's belly. 'Stop it, Hobi.' A muffled noise escaped from the lips that were glued to younger's shirt.

Now Hoseok turned off the TV, laid down himself and moved Yoongi, whom he wrapped his arms around, to lay on his chest. His hand gently rubbing the older's back.

'Even if you don't want to tell me, I won't be mad. I don't know what you're feeling or thinking. I want to help you, but I don't want to bother you if you're not ready or simply don't feel like sharing it with me. It's up to you, hyung.'

'Please... Don't say hyung... Not while were alone...'

'Okay, if that's what you wish for.'

After half an hour of silence Hoseok felt something wet on his chest. A little spot in the shirt. A tear.

'Yoongi... My sweet friend, what's wrong? You've been so distracted lately...' He whispered hugging the quietly weeping person closer.

'Hobi, don't leave me... Please, don't ever leave me...' Yoongi's arms were desperately clinging onto Hoseok.

'I will never.'

'I'm a lie... I've been lying to you... To everyone...' Yoongi's shoulders began shaking as more tears streamed down.

'Why are you saying this? I don't understand it. Your hurt is scaring me.'

'I'm not what you think I am... I'm not the kind of Min Yoongi you think.'

'You're not the kind of Min Yoongi? What doesn't make you the Min Yoongi?'

'I'm not the man you think... I'm not...' Yoongi broke down completely. His eyes drowned in Hoseok's chest.

'Yoongi... Please, don't feel like that...' He really tried to calm his friend. 'What can I do for you? What can I do to make you feel better?'

'Accept me...'

'You know I do. I accept you and I love you.' That made Yoongi cry harder. 'Yoongi, my beautiful kitten, please, tell me what's bothering you... Talking out help. Speak to me...'

'I... I-I... I'm not even sure what I am... Hobi, I don't even know!' Yoongi choked on his tears and frustration. When the tears finally calmed down Suga whispered in a heartbreaking whimper. 'You're my sunshine, but why is it dark now?'

'Look at me, baby.' The man asked and Yoongi slowly complied. Looked up at the man, hiding great worry behind a bright smile, with the wet and reddened eyes, a twitching lower lip. 'Let me help you. Tell me, what is it?' His fingers lifted Yoongi's chin up slightly. 'I'm listening and I won't leave you. I will never leave you.'

'I'm not... Truly man... I'm...' Yoongi's fingers tapped on Hoseok's cheat lightly. Hoseok's so warm, familiar, safe...

'Are you a woman?'

Yoongi's head shook in disbelief. 'I don't know... I just know I'm not a man...'

'Well, you don't have to. Maybe you're agender... Perhaps gender fluid... That's all okay and valid.'

Yoongi's arms wrapped tightly around Hoseok's neck and shoulders. 'I love you so much! Hobi, I love you! Why are you so precious?' The older kissed the other neck in the moment.

'I love you too, Yoongi.' He pulled his friend up to place a kiss on the lips. 'I always will.'

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