Chapter Text
They were all grateful to be back alive, in one piece. The mission had been stressful, to say the least, and they had barely pulled through. But they were there, together, and that’s what mattered. They were all throwing praise around, making sure everyone knew that they were part of the reason that they were still alive, still together.
Everyone except Lance, anyway. He was standing off to the side, away from the group, but still close enough to hear everything they were saying.
“Man, your timing was perfect, Pidge!” Hunk said. “If you had opened the hangar doors any later, we would’ve been toast.”
“Nah, that was nothing,” she replied. “You and Shiro were the real lifesavers in there. You really came through with distracting the Galra to keep them away from me.”
Shiro chuckled. “I don’t know, if Keith wasn’t keeping the ships outside away from the base, we all would’ve been goners.” They all agreed and kept talking.
Lance, who seemed to have been completely forgotten at this point, had finally had enough. It wasn’t enough that he had saved Keith’s ass out there more times than he could count, or that he took out nearly a third of the fleet that had been trying to get inside to back up the other Galra and take out Pidge, Hunk, and Shiro. It wasn’t enough that Blue had taken more damage than any of the other lions, that she had to be carried by Shiro and Hunk in their lions on the way back because she was too damaged to fly herself. They had to ignore Lance’s hard work, all the close calls he had saving their asses, even though he was right out there with Keith.
“Yeah, because it was all up to Keith out there,” Lance snapped. The others looked at him, surprised at the anger in his voice.
“Somebody had to keep the Galra away from the others,” Keith retorted.
“And who was it that was saving your ass when you didn’t notice the Galra that were coming up right behind you?” Keith opened his mouth, ready to retort, but Lance cut him off. He knew he was being harsh, that they were all wound up from that mission, but he was just so angry. “Did you even notice that I took out almost a third of their fleet when you were being too reckless to see that they were slipping past you? I bet you didn’t care about all those close calls that Blue and I took when we were saving your ass.”
“Where the hell is this coming from, Lance?” Shiro asked, confused as to why their normally level-headed Blue Paladin was so upset.
Lance balled his hands into fists to stop their shaking. “I just don’t understand why you’re all ignoring everything I did out there!” He was shouting now, and he could feel tears pricking at the corners of his eyes, but he kept going. “You all get praised, telling each other how great you did out there, and you completely forget about me. If I had messed up just a little bit out there, I could have gotten myself killed! But do any of you care? No, why would you? I’m just the seventh wheel. I’m replaceable. You could get rid of me at any point, and what difference would it make?” Blue’s angry rumbles vibrated in his head, telling him that what he was saying was wrong. He was her pilot, and no one could replace him. He ignored her, feeling a spark of guilt that he quickly snuffed out.
“Lance, you know that’s not true,” Hunk said. Lance could see the guilt evident in his best friend’s eyes. He reached out toward the Blue Paladin, and Lance stepped away. Tears were streaming down his face now, and he couldn’t stop the shaking reverberating throughout his entire body.
“Then tell me why. Why do you ignore everything I do? Why is it that you criticize every wrong thing I do, and then completely ignore everything I do right?” His voice wasn’t even angry anymore, and the other paladins felt guilty at the sadness in his words. How long had he felt this way? How had they allowed it to go this far?
Lance was finding that it was getting harder to breathe. He raised a shaky hand in an attempt to wipe the tears still falling from his eyes, but he stopped when the others began to move toward him. No. No no nononono. He needed space. He needed to be away from them. He did not want to be near them.
He turned away and ran, his weak legs trembling in protest. He just wanted to lay down, curl into a ball, and let this pass. Before he could make it to his room where he could do just that, however, his legs gave out beneath him, and he collapsed to the floor in the hallway. He couldn’t get enough air into his lungs, and every failed breath increased the number of black dots in his vision.
He ignored the footsteps coming closer to him, instead curling into a ball on the floor as he desperately tried to get enough air. He felt someone pull him up, and he could barely make out a shock of white hair in front of him through his blurred vision. He weakly protested as someone grabbed his hand and pulled it to their chest.
“I need you to try and breathe with me, Lance. Can you do that?” That was Shiro’s voice. He tried to nod, and he felt Shiro breathe a bit heavier so that Lance could distinguish each breath easier. He tried to match his own breaths to the rise and fall of his leader’s chest, starting to hyperventilate more when he failed to do so. Shiro noticed this.
“It’s okay, Lance. You’re doing great. Just go slow. Try and breathe with me. It’s okay if it takes a few minutes. You can do it. You’re doing better already.” Lance relaxed a bit at the calm tone of his voice, and found it just a bit easier to take in some air. It still wasn’t enough, though, and the black dots weren’t leaving his vision.
After a few minutes, Lance found that he could breathe normally again. He was still a bit shaky, but his vision was normal, and he could breathe.
“Are you back with me, Lance?” Shiro asked. He nodded, and their leader breathed a sigh of relief. “Is it okay to give you a hug?” He nodded again, and he was brought into a warm embrace. He leaned into it, and he felt sluggish as his head dropped against Shiro’s shoulder.
Shiro pulled away after a minute, and Lance reluctantly did the same. He was exhausted, and he had found himself nodding off in the warm embrace. Shiro sighed. “We’ve got a lot to talk about, but that can wait until tomorrow. I think you need some sleep.” Lance sighed in agreement, and Shiro helped him up. “Do you want to go to your room?”
“No, I’d rather not be alone.” Lance hated how weak his voice sounded.
“Well, I think the others went to the lounge. Will you be okay to be with everyone in there?” Lance hesitated before nodding. Now that he wasn’t upset, he felt embarrassed by his breakdown, but he felt guilty for snapping at his team, his family, more than anything. He wanted to apologize, and he wanted to be with everyone.
Shiro lead the way to the lounge, Lance tiredly stumbling behind. When they arrived, Lance found he was nervous about how his team would receive him. They would probably be upset with him for snapping like that, for blaming them for his own insecurities.
He was surprised, however, to see relief and guilt evident on all their faces. He opened his mouth, about to apologize, when his teammates beat him to it.
“Listen, we’re really sorry about that, Lance,” Keith said, surprising the blue paladin. “You did a lot for us out there, you do a lot for us, and it’s wrong of us to just leave you hanging like that.”
“Honestly, if it wasn’t for you, we’d be toast,” Pidge agreed. “We can always count on you to save our asses when we need it, and we tend to take that for granted.” Shiro grunted, showing his disapproval of Pidge’s word choice.
“Yeah, and who else would be the perfect person to taste test all my food?” Hunk added, making the others chuckle.
Lance smiled. “Aww, you guys are gonna make me cry. Bring it in.” He put his arms out, gesturing for the others to get in on a group hug. They all obliged, Keith doing so hesitantly.
They still had a lot to talk about and work through, but that could wait. What they really needed at the moment was some team bonding time.