Chapter Text
Looking back, Eddie would have characterized the main theme of his childhood as that of overwhelming stupidity. That sounded pretty negative, he supposed, but he didn’t mean it in a bad way. The way Eddie looked at it, people were just born stupid. When you’re a baby, you don’t know shit. You can’t talk or feed yourself, or do even simple maths. You’re just stupid.
If people were born stupid, then growing up mostly became about learning new things. You learned to walk, to talk and feed and clothe yourself with your mom telling you that no, shorts and a tank top were not appropriate attire for a snow storm (well, most people did. Eddie’s mom would continue to have a say in his wardrobe for much of his adolescence, breaking into his teen years).
But in the summer of 1988, Eddie Kasprak would have to say that he was still pretty stupid, about a lot of things. Sure, he got decent grades and could tie his own shoes and get dressed on his own (despite what his mother seemed to think) but he didn’t mean about that kind of stuff. About the big stuff, the real Life stuff… he was just stupid.
Most people would have figured it out right away, he thought. He had enough signs, enough clues. Still, until it was spelt out for him, right in front of his face, he just… didn’t get it.
It was that day at the barrens, that really made him think he might have been missing something. It had been fine at first--sure, the water had been cold and he thought he might have gotten a touch ill from it, not to mention he heard there could be leeches in the water and despite their supposed medicinal qualities, he has no desire to meet one... oh and he’d almost drowned.
It had happened when he’d stepped down into deeper water and lost his bearings--for a moment, he’d kept himself up, kicking his legs beneath him--but then a voice in his head, his mother’s voice, began to screech “ Eddie! The water, you can’t swim! Eddie you’re going to droooown!”
Panic had seized him and his head had bobbed under and he’d been sure this was how he was going to die, all because he’d been stupid enough to ignore his mother and go into the deep water when he knew he couldn’t swim (except he could swim, was quite a strong swimmer actually).
But then, salvation--a hand came out and grabbed his under the water, yanking him forward to where he could stand. His head came back up and he got his feet under him, and took a deep breath of air. Whipping his head around, he was surprised to find out who his savior had been. He had expected it to be Bill who had noticed, Bill who had grabbed him and pulled him back… but it was Richie.
“You okay, Eds?” Richie asked.
Eddie nodded, and coughed once. “Don’t… call me Eds.”
Richie grinned, and ruffled Eddie’s wet hair, making it stand on end. “He’s good.”
They resumed splashing around, getting up on each others shoulders and trying to knock the others over. And despite it all, it had been a good day. A great day, really. One of Eddie’s best. Even drowning hadn’t been so bad, and Richie hadn’t even made a big deal of out if it. Poor fragile Eddie, he could have died, quick call the ambulance-- there was none of that. And he was grateful.
The trouble came after they’d gotten out of the water, and were drying off. Beverly had lain down on the ground in a patch of sunlight, eyes closed as she let the warm air dry her off. That was when Eddie noticed the staring. Five pairs of eyes were locked onto the girl on the ground, staring so hard Eddie thought their eyeballs might pop out of their heads, like the way they always did on Sunday morning cartoons.
Ben and Bill, Eddie wasn’t all too surprised about. They clearly both had some weird thing for her, which to him seemed too bad for Ben, because there was no way she was going to choose him over Bill. Nothing against Ben, he seemed like a nice guy and he had some fun idea about building a clubhouse to hang out in… but he just wasn’t Bill.
So those two, that made sense. But it wasn’t just them staring. Even Stan was staring at her, his face flushed and his eyes wide like he was seeing one of the super rare birds he always talked about. Eddie actually looked around for a minute, to see if maybe there was some bird… but it was just Beverly. Hell, even Mike was staring, although he had the decency to only be half-staring, trying to pretend he wasn't.
And then there was Richie, staring just as hard as anyone. His jaw was slack and his mouth was opened slightly--not unusual, but typically when his mouth was open either words were coming out or food was going in. Now he was just quiet, quiet and staring.
Eddie stared too, partly so he didn’t feel left out and partly to try and see what everyone else was looking at. As far as he could tell, it was just Beverly. She was a pretty girl, he guessed, and she didn’t laugh at him like other girls… but none of it seemed worth losing your mind over. Besides, she was a smoker, that cigarette smoke irritated his asthma.
After a moment, Bev looked up and the others all pretended they’d been doing something else. Richie mumbled something about the sun being bright, and Stan started babbling about some bird he’d thought he’d seen in the trees--but Eddie knew, there had been no bird.
It troubled him more than it should have. Not the others staring, exactly, not even Richie… but the way he just didn’t feel like it. The way the others could look and Beverly, and look like they were learning all the secrets of the universe, and he could look at her at the same time and just his friend in her underpants.
It was about a week before school would start, and Eddie was headed to the arcade to meet Richie and the others. He’d mostly managed to put the stuff about Bev behind him, except for the occasional gnawing worry that he was in some way broken. Maybe, he sometimes wondered, it was a vision problem. Should he have his eyes checked? When was the last time he’d been to the optometrist? It suddenly seemed much too long. He would get on that, soon.
When he reached the arcade, he was surprised to find Richie, Ben, Stan and Mike outside the arcade, whispering. They looked up with almost guilty expressions when he came up to them, and then pulled him into the circle.
“What’s going on? What’s happening, why are you guys being so weird?” Eddie asked, looking around at their flushed faces.
“There’s a party going on tonight,” Richie explained. “At that abandoned house on Neibolt street.”
Eddie wrinkled his nose. “My mom said that house is full of crackheads and lepers,” he said. “Why would people want to have a party there?”
Richie shrugged. “I heard the cops rounded up those crackheads last month, so the house is free now.” He said. “Besides, I’ve heard about kids going up to Neibolt street all the time,” he grinned. “That’s where they do it, ”
Eddie frowned. “Do what?”
Richie looked at him. “You know,” he raised his eyebrows. “ It. ”
“Just because you say it again doesn’t mean I’m going to suddenly know what you’re talking about--”
Grabbing him by the shoulders, Richie pulled him forward. “ Fucking. ” He said, a bit too loudly. “It means fucking! ”
Eddie’s face turned red. “Oh. Well how was I supposed to know that?”
Richie shook his head and released Eddie’s shoulders. “Everyone knows that, numbnuts,” He muttered. “It’s a universally known truth.”
“Well, I mean clearly it isn’t if I didn’t know,” Eddie muttered. “And besides, who cares? It’s probably just going to be like, high school students or whatever.”
Stan was shaking his head. “Gretta Jenkins is going,” He said. “She told so, when I went with my mother to the drug store this morning. And,” he added. “She called me a pussy-licker,”
Eddie’s lip curled slightly. He didn’t know why Stan had felt it important to add that.
“I heard a bunch of kids from our grade are going,” Ben was saying. “They were talking about it in the candy store. And you don’t need an invitation or anything, you can just.. Show up, and they can’t kick you out.”
"They could probably still kick us out," Mike added. "Just because it isn't their house doesn't mean they can't give us the boot."
Eddie looked back and forth between Richie, Stan and Ben. “You guys don’t seriously want to go, do you? That house is probably covered in diseases and-and I mean what if the crack heads left needles lying around. You can get aids from used needles, you know, I read about it in--”
“Eds!” Richie was once again holding him by his shoulders, shaking him. “No one is saying you have to go. Don’t give yourself an asthma attack. We can go without you.”
That didn’t make him feel better. Not only would he be left out, again, the thought of Richie up in that disease infested crackhouse with some girl made him feel ill.
“Go where?”
Eddie turned and found Bill and Beverly striding towards them. Beverly smiled widely as she met up with them, and Bill stuttered out a hello.
“Neibolt street,” Richie explained. “There’s a party, tonight,”
A horrible thought occurred to Eddie then, a truly terrible half-formed idea; what if he went, and with Beverly… what if he could prove to himself and to everyone else that he wasn’t broken, wasn’t sick in some way--well, besides all the usual ways--
It was an awful idea, and he couldn’t even have said where it came from, but the worst part about it was how it was out of his mouth before he could even finish thinking it.
“D’you wanna go?” He asked Beverly, the words pouring out of his mouth with no way to contain them. “With me? To the party?”
Beverly looked surprised, but it was nothing compared to the look on Bill’s face; shock, confusion… betrayal? Shit, Eddie hadn’t even considered that, how Bill and Ben would feel. Well, Beverly was still her own person, she would probably say no anyhow--
“Sure,” Beverly said, pulling a cigarette out from behind her ear. She lit it and took a puff. “Sounds fun.”
Eddie wanted to pass out, and not just because he couldn’t stand the smell of cigarette smoke. He was going to a party, in a crackhouse, with a girl. And he was gonna do…
it.