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It was his wedding day, the happiest day of his life. After all these years Cory Matthews was finally going to marry his childhood sweetheart… Topanga Lawrence. He smiled contently at the end of the alter as he waited for his bride to enter. The only thing that would make this day better would be if his best friend Shawn Hunter were here.
The two had had a petty fight before the wedding. Shawn had desperately wanted to talk about his feelings (a first for him, honestly), and Cory wanted to ignore his at least until the honeymoon was over. He knew what Shawn was talking about; things would be different. They wouldn’t be Cory and Shawn anymore. No more sharing a bed at sleepovers or spontaneous road trips in Shawn’s dad’s mobile home or impulsive adventures with just each other to keep them going. Before this the two had done everything together, and now Shawn wouldn’t even be at his wedding.
Cory swallowed his hurt and looked up as he heard the string quartet begin playing the bridal procession. Walking down the aisle was his beautiful bride, all smiles on the arm of her father, and Cory smiled wistfully. God he wished Shawn was here, he thought as he took Topanga from her father’s arm and stood with her in front of the officiant. She gave his hands a squeeze, and the two of them looked to the officiant.
The ceremony was uneventful, and to Eric’s credit it was a really well done wedding seeing as he got the best man position only hours ago. That is, until it came to the vows. Cory had only been half listening, piping in with “I will” when prompted, but he had to pay a little more attention to repeat the vows. He repeated after the officiant: “I Cory… take you Shawn…” he looked up, waiting for the officiant to continue with the vows, but the man was staring at him slack jawed. He looked to his bride instead and saw a furious Topanga that looked like she could strangle him. “What?” he whispers in a hushed voice, not sure what had happened that caused such a shift in her mood.
He looked to the spectators, his friends and family, and they looked at him with dread. His mother’s face was crumpled in a cringe, and his father was holding his face in his hand. His sight didn’t stay with them for long though as he looked into the crowd to see a wide-eyed Shawn Hunter standing at the end of the aisle. Cory dropped Topanga’s hands and took a step in his best friend’s direction. “Shawnie…” he said softly, as if not believing his eyes.
Topanga huffed and shoved her bouquet into his chest. “Why don’t you just marry Shawn!” she snapped bitterly. He barely saw the tears in her eyes before she stomped back down the aisle, fuming with rage.
Cory then registered what had happened. He said Shawn. His fingers find his temples, and his head pulses with anger at himself. “Stupid…” he mutters. He hurt Topanga. On their wedding day. How could he do something like that? How could he hurt the person he loved? How could he say Shawn’s name?
The spot once occupied by his bride was filled quickly by his best friend coming to his side. Shawn grabbed Cory’s hands from pressing through his skull, and he pulls them to his chest. “Cory, look at me,” he says distinctly. There was no anger or disappointment in his voice, only a steadiness that allowed Cory to relinquish control. Cory looks at his best friend through teary red eyes, and he wants Shawn to yell at him, tell him how awful he is for hurting Topanga like this. Instead Shawn looks at him earnestly. “It’s going to be alright,” he says so declaratively that Cory almost believes it.
Almost. He wasn’t so sure he knew what ‘alright’ was right now. With just one word he had flipped his entire world upside down. This wasn’t how it was supposed to happen. He was supposed to marry Topanga, and they were supposed to be together forever. That was the future, a nice house with a white picket fence and two or three kids… that was what his life was supposed to be. Now he’s here, abandoned at the alter with no future in sight all because he said the wrong name. “Why did I say your name, Shawnie,” he says, almost to himself.
Shawn hears him and pulls him into a hug. Cory then realizes that he’s sobbing, leaving a mess of snot and tears all over his best friend’s tux. “I don’t know, Cor,” he says, rubbing gentle circles in the man’s back, “but it was a mistake,” Shawn says, but something about his tone is off. He doesn’t have time to question it though as Shawn leads him back down the aisle and out of the chapel. He hails a cab to take them back to his brother’s apartment where they can talk in a more peaceful environment.
Cory plays with his and Shawn’s still interlocked hands, and Shawn pulls away, not wanting to ruin his friend’s relationship. They reach the apartment building, and Cory slings his arm around Shawn as they walk up the stairs, keeping him close even without holding hands. Once inside, they collapse on the couch together, and Shawn helps Cory sit up to let him explain. “I don’t know what happened,” he says with a pained expression, and Shawn knew that Cory had absolutely no intention of hurting Topanga with his words. “Where is Topanga?” he asks worriedly, sitting up as if he’d find his bride in the room.
Shawn puts his hands on Cory’s shoulders to help calm him. “She’s not here, buddy,” he says in a soft voice. “Walk me through how you remember it,” he tries again. Maybe a different phrasing would get a better response.
Cory instinctively leans into Shawn’s touch and sighs. “I was getting married, and you weren’t there… and I really wanted you there… because you’re my Shawnie,” he explains as if it were completely normal for him to be thinking of his best friend at the altar when marrying his soon to be wife. Shawn bites his lip. “Next thing I know, she’s running away, and you’re here.”
Shawn looks up at his goofy friend, made to take his hand away, but Cory’s hand shot up to hold his in place. “Why didn’t you go after her, Cor?” he asks softly.
Cory looks at his friend with confusion, as if it never occurred to him. “She ran away, Shawn. You can’t make someone get married if they don’t want to.”
Shawn purses his lips to keep from frowning. “Don’t you want to marry her?” he asks genuinely. For all the talk they had done about Cory and Topanga always being married, in the end it was Topanga who proposed and Topanga who made most of the calls regarding marriage. Had Cory messed up as a last ditch effort to get out of it?
Cory shrugs, “I think so. I mean, I love her, and we’ve been together our whole lives…”
“But?” Shawn asks, sensing a hesitation in his friend’s voice.
Cory collects his thoughts then looks up at his friends beautiful blue eyes. “It didn’t feel right,” he explains, “You weren’t there. I can’t get married without you there.” Shawn’s head spins at his friend’s words, and he wants to tell Cory his feelings now more than ever, more than even this morning. “She looked so happy, Shawn… I didn’t feel that.”
Shawn frowns at this. Truth be told he loved his best friend, was in love with Cory since he can remember, but he wanted his friend to be happy more than anything. “Topanga doesn’t make you happy?” he asks, voicing his thought. Cory looks away, ashamed, shrugs once, waits, then shakes his head. “Then don’t marry her,” Shawn says assertively. It wasn’t his job to tell Cory how to live his life, but he sure as hell wasn’t going to sit back quietly and watch his best friend do something that didn’t make him happy. Cory looks at him again with confusion. “You deserve to be happy, Cory, and if that’s not with Topanga, that’s okay.” He pauses a beat then smiles shyly, “So why did you say my name then?”
Cory’s face turns cherry red, and the curly haired young man looks down and runs a hand through his brillo head. “I guess you were on my mind,” he says vaguely, and Shawn knows there’s more to it than he lets on.
Shawn bites his lower lip, looks at his friend so lost and uncertain, and decided to be brave. “Cory, can we have that talk now?” When Cory looks up he elaborates, “The one I wanted to have this morning.” Cory looks thoughtful for a moment before nodding tentatively. “I was selfish,” Shawn starts off, and Cory’s self pity is immediately replaced with his need to care for Shawn.
Cory reaches out now to hold his friend and says, “No, Shawn, you just wanted to talk. That’s not selfish.”
Shawn shakes his head and sniffles; Cory didn’t understand. “No, I didn’t want you to get married,” he explains completely. Cory crinkles his brow. “I didn’t want to let you go.” Cory pulls back slightly and studies his friend. Shawn’s face is splattered with tears, and the boy absolutely refuses to make eye contact. “And I didn’t come to be supportive… I wanted to…” Shawn gulps, shaking his head. He pulls away from Cory, turns his back to his friend.
Cory moves to kneel on the ground in front of him, looking up at Shawn with concern. Softly he brings a hand up to wipe tears from Shawn’s face and asks softly, “What do you want?”
Shawn finally meets his eyes, and Cory holds his stare. He doesn’t realize how close they are until Shawn reaches forward to run a hand through Cory’s hair. “I wanted…” he pauses, voice trembling, hands shaking noticeably. Cory nods encouragingly and gives a reassuring smile. “I wanted to tell you how I felt.” Cory holds his breath, for what he doesn’t know. Shawn’s looking at him like he set the sun in the sky, and Cory wants more than anything not to let him down. “Cor, I love you,” Shawn finally says softly.
The words hang heavy as both parties wait for affirmation. Did he mean as a friend? Would he say he loved me too? “Shawnie…” Cory says softly, and Shawn lets out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. “I love you too.” Shawn doesn’t remember dying, and he certainly didn’t think he’d made it to heaven. However the only reason he can come up with for Cory to feasibly say those words to him is that he’s in heaven. Not even his dreams would be this kind to him. “Shawnie are ya there?”
Shawn snaps from his reverence and focuses back on Cory - his face, his eyes, his mouth. Shawn bites his lip again and is amazed he hasn’t split it open yet. “You mean that?” Shawn asks, voice a tremor. Cory nods genuinely. “No, Cory… I mean, I really love you,” he explains. Surely Cory didn’t get it.
Cory more confident now nods knowingly and responds, “I know,” he puts a hand on Shawn’s waist and repeats, “I really love you too.” Shawn’s mouth is slightly ajar as his brain still struggles to process what Cory said. He makes to protest again, to keep insisting, but Cory shakes his head and pulls Shawn in closer.
Cory kisses him full on the mouth, effectively shutting him up. When he pulls back Shawn’s eyes are closed, mouth puckered expectantly. Cory chuckles slightly, “I’ve never had that effect on Topanga.”
Shawn reemerges from his stupor, invigorated. “Wrong name,” he says before pouncing at his friend.