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"Are the two of you having sex?" Bart asked out of nowhere one night. Tim and he were visiting Kon at the Kent farm and they were talking on the roof of the barn. He was both curious and concerned after reading something last week so he finally broke down and asked.
Bart knew that his two friends had been pining after each other for a long time and yet to his annoyance neither had made a move. They had tried to deny their attraction for one another for years, since at least Young Justice, by way of a variety of girlfriends.
Once he and Kon had returned from the future Tim apparently had enough with the denial, pushed Kon up against a wall, and kissed him senseless the minute they were alone. Ever since then they had been inseparable. Now Bart had concerns that his friends needed to address.
"What? Dude, you don't ask questions like that," Kon said with wide eyes.
Tim simply stared at him like Bart had lost his mind.
"I mean, it's cool and all, but I recently thought of something that worried me," Bart continued.
"I -- wait, what worries?" Kon stammered.
"If you guys are doing it, does that mean that Tim is risking jail time?"
They still looked confused so Bart felt he had to elaborate.
"I was reading the sexual crimes law section at the library the other day and a few of the case studies made me think." Bart waved his hand to indicate the taller boy. "Kon, technically you are only like seven or eight years old. Even though you were artificially aged and now appear eighteen, chronologically you are still a child. Men have been prosecuted for statutory rape even though the prostitutes they slept with claimed, and appeared, to be over eighteen. That got me thinking of you two and I got worried."
"Bart, did you just compare me to a john and Kon to a prostitute?" Tim asked, clearly not focused on the right part of the conversation.
"So not the point. I don't want one of my best friends to go to jail because some villain gets a lawyer to accuse you of rape," Bart snapped.
His two friends exchanged a look.
"If you guys wait a few years Kon will be old enough for marriage," Bart said helpfully. "In most states you can get married at sixteen with parental consent, a couple you can even go as low as fourteen with consent. With more states legalizing gay marriage gender wont even be a problem."
Bart wound down his speech. He had done the research after recognizing the problem the couple had. He looked at them to see their reactions to his suggestion and watched as Kon turned a peculiar shade of green at his statement.
"I'm not going to go to Lex Luthor and ask his permission to marry Tim." Kon's voice reflected the panic and horror he felt at that thought.
Bart hadn't considered that issue and could just imagine the headlines if anyone found out about that conversation. This was getting all too complicated.
"We're going to have to ask the adults about this, aren't we?" Kon said with apprehension.
"Be glad you only have to talk to Superman. I have to tell Batman about my love life." Tim replied in a voice of dread.
"And probably Nightwing and Oracle," Bart pointed out helpfully. "If it makes you guys feel any better I can ask Wally and Wonder Woman as well."
In unison his best friends shouted one word at that proposal.
"NO!"
