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"-both said some things we didn't mean. I know you Yoongi. Okay? I know you didn’t mean it. And, and you know that I wouldn’t ever mean it either. We were just caught up in the heat of the moment, and I promise , I’ll be better. So can we just go back to normal? I can't lose you...I love you, please, can't we just go back-"
Yoongi presses pause. Scrolls through his contacts and picks "Kook-ah", "call".
Instantly,
[If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again, if you want to leave a message-]
Yoongi lets the automated voice talk, filling the empty room. He stares at his blank, white, dirty ceiling from his position spread eagle on his bed.
Takes a deep breath.
Inhale in. Exhale out.
Redials.
[If you'd like to make a call-]
"-please hang up and try again," Yoongi mutters sarcastically, "damnit Joon, how hard is it to answer your fucking phone."
Hoseok groans from beside him and reaches over to steal a fry, and then his ketchup. "It's been, what, 30 minutes?" He reaches for another fry and Yoongi swats his hand, "why'd he call us here anyway?"
Yoongi, Hoseok, Jimin, and Taehyung all swivel their heads to give a Look to Jin, who is laser focused on his plate of chicken.
"I know you're all looking at me," he states, primly, "and like I said, 10 minutes ago, I have no idea."
"Can't you at least try contacting him? He'd probably answer to you." Jimin reasoned.
"I could...but I won't. My hands are greasy-YAH TAEHYUNG-" as he tried to stop Taehyung from taking his phone, an entire piece of chicken nugget flew out of his hand and plopped on the floor.
They all stared at it for a second, and then Jin's face as it turned an alarming shade of red.
The McDonalds door slams open.
And, in a truly unfortunate turn of events, Namjoon burst through the door, took one step, slipped on the chicken, and would've had a hard fall if the stranger behind him hadn't caught him in time.
Silence.
"Please tell me someone caught that on camera," Jimin blurted out, "like, oh god, please ."
"I nearly died," Namjoon declared, still safely cocooned in the stranger's arms. "I nearly died ." He twisted around to face him and gripped his shoulder, "you saved my life ."
The stranger resembled a deer caught in headlights, undergoing the moral dilemma of living or dying, and leaning closer to death than dealing with the situation at hand. He tried stepping back but Namjoon's unrelenting grip kept him in place. "It-it was nothing, hyung," he shyly replies, eyes shifting and looking everywhere else but Namjoon.
Hoseok, who could never turn down a chance to let others know he was actually older than Namjoon, turns his head, "Hyung? You know this kid, Namjoon-ah?"
"This," Namjoon says, with relish, "is my savior . He's the reason for this abrupt meeting, today. He is the godsend I met awhile ago, to spread happiness in my life, and now, yours. He is... Jeon Jungkook ."
"Uh," Jeon Jungkook looked like he'd rather have the ground swallow him up, never to be seen from again, than be introduced to people in a local McDonald's.
Yoongi snorts, and taking pity on him, raises his hand. "Nice to meet you, Jungkook. I'm Min Yoongi."
The others pipe up with their own names, and after they were all properly introduced, re: Namjoon gushing about Jungkook, his personality, his interests, his achievements, before Jungkook groaned, "oh god, hyung, stop," they ordered a new plate of food to share, and to replace Jin's lost chicken nugget.
As everyone fell into a comfortable chat over the food, Yoongi notices that Jungkook still looks mildly uncomfortable. He leaned over and murmured, "they're a bit excitable but they're good people. I'm sure you'll fit in soon enough."
Jungkook smiles back in reply, "thank you, Yoongi-ssi."
"Hyung, you can call me-"
"-Hyung!" Jungkook yells from the roof of a blue train car, "hurry up!"
"YAH! Not all of us are as crazy as you!" Jin passionately yells back, from where he’s picking his way through the train tracks with the others.
A puff of laughter escapes from the younger's lips, taking with it a puff of cold white. He gives one last call, "you're just slow!" before he ambles further down the roof and disappears from view.
"The nerve of that kid," Jin loudly complains.
"You've created a monster," Yoongi agrees.
The elder sputters, "what, me?? I have done nothing to encourage that behavior! If anything, it's you, always spoiling him with food at every opportunity!"
"I saw you guys sword fighting with condom balloons last week," Yoongi deadpans.
"Four days ago, you two dared each other to lick an icy pole. And did it ,” Hoseok adds.
“Jungkook told me-” Taehyung starts, but gets interrupted by Jin’s garbled yell.
“I saw-” Namjoon also starts, and Jin physically launches himself at him to shut him up. His hands clamp around Namjoon’s mouth tightly, but unintelligible mumbles still escape, Namjoon still going strong despite the manhandling.
“I’ve never felt so disrespected,” Jin whines, ignoring Namjoon, “and by fetuses .” He attempts to make a swooning gesture but his hands are still attached to Namjoon and so they both just sort of sway a little.
Yoongi feels the corners of his lips quirk up.
“If Yoongi hyung’s a fetus, don’t you also count as a fetus?” Taehyung wonders out loud. He and Jimin make eye contact, and matching grins appear on their faces simultaneously. “Fellow fetus, fellow fetus,” they both enthusiastically chant, backing away from Jin.
“Yah, when I get my hands on you-” Jin releases Namjoon, and starts towards the duo. The two break away, running full speed towards the blue train, giggles mixed in with their short breaths, The elder is immediately on their tail, shouting threats at them along the way.
Yoongi, Hoseok, and Namjoon look at each other, flawlessly communicating with their eyes as close friends do, and they walk a little bit faster.
The scene they come upon when they catch up to the others is unexpected. Taehyung is relentlessly pounding on the train car wall while loudly cheering for Jin and Jimin, who are...doing yoga(?). None of them have noticed their arrival.
Namjoon Looks at Yoongi. Should we ask , his eyes scream.
Yoongi Looks at Hoseok. Joonie wants to know if we should ask , he transmits.
What? he replies.
Should we ask? Yoongi repeats, eye twitching a little bit, accidentally.
You wanna dance? Now? Hoseok replies.
Their system is flawed so Yoongi gives up and just says, “what the hell” out loud.
Taehyung stops mid shout to exclaim, “You’re here!” Jin and Jimin look up from where they had apparently transitioned to Downward Facing Dog.
“What the hell,” Yoongi repeats.
“We’re stretching,” Jimin says, like it would explain everything.
“That explains nothing,” he replies, flatly.
“We’re gonna climb the train car, and you know, safety first,” Jimin shrugs.
“Safety second!” Taehyung says.
“Coolness third!” Jungkook’s disembodied voice adds.
“About time you said something, Jungkookie, I’ve been pounding the traincar for foreveeeeeer,” Taehyung pouted.
“Wait,” Namjoon says, “you’re gonna climb the train car? Isn’t that kind of dangerous? Can’t you just use the ladder railings or something?”
“They’re not there,” Jimin, Jin, and Taehyung all reply. “They were right over there last time but now they’re gone.”
“What. Then how did Jungkook get up there?”
“Parkour!” Jungkook’s voice yells, it’s owner still out of view.
The look in Namjoon’s eyes said of course he did and why even .
“Why don’t we just boost each other up?” Yoongi suggests, “Climbing is gonna be such a hassle.”
“That’s...a good idea,” Jin admits, and they all gather in a circle to work out how to go about it. Once they figure it out, they stand in silence, waiting for someone to volunteer to go first. Hoseok keeps eyeing the distance from top of the train car to the ground, and looking uneasy.
“Yoongi...you’re the lightest..” Namjoon reluctantly says.
“Jimin’s shorter than me!”
“Yeah, but he has muscle mass,” he replies, awkwardly.
Yoongi gives him a dirty look, and maintains it even as he’s stepping onto his and Jin’s hands, using one of his own hands to balance himself with the traincar. He only breaks it when he has to, so that he can focus on where to aim his hand on the roof so that he can pull himself up. Jin and Namjoon lower themselves and quickly push up, and suddenly Yoongi is in the air.
It’s going fine. At first. He manages to grab the roof edge.
It should’ve been easy from there, but it was smoother than he expected and he loses his grip. His fingers desperately scramble for purchase but there was nothing and he feels himself.
Falling.
Blood rushes to his ears.
His body flails uselessly, slowly.
Too slow.
When suddenly, he feels something gripping his wrists, and his shoulders aching in protest at the sudden tension put on them. He looks up and sees Jungkook, face tense and worried, concentrating hard on pulling Yoongi up. His stomach does a tiny flip.
Jungkook pulls him up up and, with Yoongi coming back to his senses midway and helping out too, over. He hauls himself up too enthusiastically, however, and ends up crashing into Jungkook. The younger barely seems to notice, his hands reaching up instead, cupping Yoongi’s face.
“Are you okay?” he asks, eyes scanning the older’s face intently, a furrow still in his brow. Yoongi’s stomach flips again.
“I’m fine,” he croaks, and clears his throat. “I’m fine.” He hastily backs away from Jungkook, making sure he leaves enough space so that he doesn’t topple off the roof again. He turns around and leans off the roof, “I’m fine!” he shouts to the others.
“Thank god!” one of them say, and the others start expressing their relief too.
Yoongi tunes them out, busy thinking about why he still feels Jungkook’s phantom touch lingering on his wrist.
It’s nothing, he decides.
Probably the adrenaline or something.
Namjoon always raves about the stars and the universe as a whole, but this week especially, he makes sure everyone cleared up their schedules to “experience” it with him. “Tonight’s special,” he insists, “the sky’s going to be especially clear tonight.”
So here they are, all gathered up again to lay on top of the blue train car. They’re arranged in a lopsided circle, with Hoseok and Jimin lying next to each other having whispered conversations on one side, feet sticking out beyond the edge, Jimin’s barefoot, Hoseok’s socked. Namjoon and Taehyung are on the other side, curled towards each other, as Namjoon enthusiastically points out star alignments and Taehyung genuinely listens. The others let the lecture wash over them, occasionally tuning in to catch a random fact or two. Yoongi and Jungkook are on the third side of the roof, squished between Hoseok’s corner and Taehyung’s corner, and across from Jin, who appears to be napping. Jungkook was excited at first but he quieted down after a while and Yoongi thinks that he probably fell asleep too.
“Jungkook,” he says quietly, to check.
There’s a replying, “Hmmg?”
Yoongi turns his head and jolts a little, not expecting Jungkook to be so close. He’s squinting blearily, like he’s just woken up, but Yoongi barely notices that, instead focused on how narrow the gap between them is. They’re so close that he's sure that if Jungkook breathes, he'd be able to feel its warmth.
"You should look at the stars," he whispers to the small small small distance between them. Jungkook blinks owlishly and gives a tiny, almost imperceptible nod. Yoongi smiles in return and shifts his head to admire the stars again, shining bright. He sighs softly, content.
He doesn't notice Jungkook staring at him a beat longer before looking at the sky too.
It's a beautiful day. The sky is that bright blue that Jungkook always liked, with a bunch of fluffy clouds littered all over it, making strange shapes that he would've adored. If Yoongi closes his eyes, he's sure he'd be able to feel Jungkook's heavy weight leaning against his side, head propped lightly on his shoulder. And maybe if he focused, he'd be able to hear Jungkook, laughing, teasing, "that cloud over there, that really small one over there, next to the teacup, it looks like you."
Yoongi doesn't close his eyes. Doesn't focus. Doesn't want to think about Jungkook at all. He just looks straight ahead, at himself reflected in the mirror, in all black. Looks at his tie. Looks at his blazer. Looks for imperfections. Looks and looks and but doesn't look at the gaping empty space beside him. Because he doesn't want to think about Jungkook.
But that's impossible.
Because he's always thinking about Jungkook whether he wants to or not, it being ingrained into his body. But also because, especially because, it's the day of the Funeral.
How could he not think of him when he'll be buried. And Yoongi will have to accept that he'll really be gone. Forever.
He loosens his tie with trembling fingers, throws it on the bed. He slides to the floor, his back to the bed for support, and drags his hands down his face.
Namjoon , he thinks, I should at least tell Namjoon , and digs out the phone from under the bed, from where he threw it last night when he couldn’t sleep, couldn’t even close his eyes without visualizing Jungkook’s pale, lifeless, dead body. His fingers shake uncontrollably as he dials.
“Hello?” Namjoon answers.
“I can’t go.”
“What do you mean you can’t go? It’s going to start in 30 minutes, Yoongi, you can’t not go.”
He feels something lodged in his throat and can barely talk around it, “I can’t, Joon. I just can’t.” See him like that. Accept that he’s gone. I can’t can’t can’t can’t.
Namjoon sighs. “Alright, hyung. I’ll tell the others. Just,” he hesitates, “promise me that you’ll visit him someday.”
“I will,” he promises, even though it feels like the last thing he’d be able to do, “Just not today, not yet.”
"You're so silly, hyung."
"Yeah, well I can kick your ass any day, you punk."
Jungkook carelessly slings his arm around Yoongi’s shoulders and he's temporarily distracted by how close and how warm he is. Jungkook shrugs, and breezily says, “You can try.”
"I'll take you up on that someday. Just imagine, Jungkook and Yoongi, man to man, in a fight to the death,” he half-heartedly shadow boxes the air, demonstrating his killer techniques.
Jungkook snorts and smiles that stupid shit-eating grin of his, eyes crinkling at the edges. "For you, maybe."
Yoongi’s heart flips even as he wonders what he sees in such a cocky brat. But with Jungkook still so close by, with his vanilla scent enveloping him gently, he can’t seem to mind.
Sometimes he has dreams.
Dreams of Jungkook’s smiling eyes. Of them sitting together at a piano, content for the first time after so long. Of Jungkook in a wheelchair, safe, because he made it to the hospital in time. Of that one trip they all took to Busan, to the ocean. Of Jungkook blowing on his lighter, face soft from the light of it, and from his nap on his thighs. Most of all he dreams of the fight ending differently. Of everything being different.
Sometimes he has nightmares.
He doesn't really remember them when he's awake but certain words stick with him: piano, fire, car, whistle.
Sometimes he wakes up, and can't tell them apart. Dreams or nightmares.
He wonders which he prefers.
He's not sure how much he's had to drink. He's not sure why he drank in the first place. The only thing he's sure of is that he feels a little numb. A little lonely.
Ah , his mind supplies, I should call jungkook to keep me company .
His hands fumble around the pockets of his jeans in search of his phone, and when he finds it, he has to lift his hips a little to wiggle it out of his back pocket.
“Call,” he says sluggishly, “Jungkook.”
Nothing happens.
His eyebrows furrow before they ease again and he giggles, “Call...Kook-ah.”
They furrow again when nothing happens. But then he remembers that he disabled Siri on his phone because she kept picking up words in his conversations and recommending him pizza shops close by.
Grumbling, he puts in his passcode and calls Jungkook.
[ring, ring]
Why won’t he pick up..?
[this person can’t be contacted right now. If you’d like to leave a message, please wait until after the beep.]
He rarely answers texts but he usually responds to calls?? Or was it the opposite.
It’s when he hears the beep that he remembers.
Oh.
That’s why.
He doesn’t notice when the door opens, when Jin comes in.
“Oh Yoongi, not again,” he sighs, seeing the mess of empty and partially empty bottles littered around the room, seeing Yoongi staring blankly at the ceiling, phone clutched tightly in his hand. He walks over and takes it out of his hand, pressing end call, “you have to stop doing this, it’s not good for you.”
Then, more softly, “he wouldn’t want this.”
When it happens, it's because of something dumb. Two people drunk at a party. That's all it takes. Unspoken words and heavy gazes. Heated looks and clumsy fingers.
Friends one day, and after...well..he'll deal with that.
That's how they work, Yoongi realizes, as he watches the dust float around in the morning light. A cosmic reaction. And the aftermath.
Spikes of activity in the midst of normalcy, reminiscent of a seismograph representing the state of his heart. Beating for Jungkook. Jungkook. Jungkook.
With a single look, his heart trembles.
With a touch, his heart shakes.
And when they come together, his heart quakes.
And then,
the aftermath.
When Jungkook returns from the bathroom, it's with a surety in his gaze. At odds, Yoongi thinks wryly, with the way his hands nervously twist his shirt, hovering over the hickies littered over his neck.
He carefully lays back down on the bed, on his side, body turned towards Yoongi’s. The bed shifts from the weight and brings Yoongi a little bit closer. Jungkook’s gravity his mind supplies, hysterically, and Yoongi consciously thinks calm the fuck down with the metaphors .
“So, um,” Jungkook starts, and he winces at himself, “I was thinking. And, this might’ve been only a drunken mistake for you,” he takes a breath and blurts, “but I like you, and I’m hoping you feel the same way too? But no pressure! Really. I just. If there was a chance that this could work out.” His voice gets smaller with time, “ I wanted to at least try, you know..in case.”
And Yoongi is once again faced with that young shy boy he first met. He feels his eyes soften, the tension in his face smoothing away with the knowledge that Jungkook trusts him to this degree. To trust him. With his heart.
Jungkook. With Yoongi .
His lips curl into a smile and he nods. "I," his voice comes out as a rasp, voice not accustomed to talking so early in the morning, "I want to try too. With you."
Jungkook looks a little surprised, a little awed...a lot happy.
He reaches out and enlaces their fingers together and Yoongi impossibly sure, from his very bones, that whatever may come their way, they'll be able to work through it.
Together.
Sometimes when he’s feeling especially sad, he’ll drink. He’ll drive for hours with no destination in mind. He’ll fight. He’ll do anything to forget.
Other times, he does anything he can to remember. He’ll listen to Jungkook’s last voicemail just to remember his voice. He’ll look at photos to remember his face. Or, like right now, he’ll wear a flannel.
Because it used to be Jungkook’s.
Like Yoongi, who also used to be Jungkook’s.
He grips his phone, knuckles white with tension.
Jungkook won't answer. Yoongi knows he won't.
But if there's even the slightest chance that he can reach Jungkook...
He calls.
*buzzbuzz*
Yoongi groans and flips over, head buried face down into his pillow.
The buzzing continues, vibrating the bed along with it. He groans again, loudly. He peeks over at the other inhabitant of the bed but Jungkook is still dead to the world. There's no way he's gonna answer the phone though, it isn't even his. So he kicks Jungkook’s calf.
He still doesn't respond. Huh.
Yoongi kicks again, harder. He severely underestimates his kick, however, and watches with wide eyes as Jungkook rolls right off the bed.
He peeks over, and can’t help the squeak he makes when he gets a face full of pillow.
“You’re so mean to me hyung,” the younger pouts as he gets up and goes over to answer the phone. “It’s Jiminie,” he absently says.
Yoongi hums in reply and yawns, eyes already half shut. He misses the wicked gleam in Jungkook’s eyes, and ignores Jungkook as he comes closer, tucking the phone between his head and shoulder.
“Uh huh,” Jungkook agrees to something, and abruptly holds Yoongi down and starts tickling his sides. The older’s eyes pop open, wide awake, and he tries to squirm away, giggles escaping against his will. Jungkook relentlessly pursues, a wide grin splitting his face.
“Jungkook,” he gasps, short of breath, “sto- Kook , I can’t-*giggle*” The younger decides to give up and instead uses his huge muscled body to crush Yoongi. The older grunts, still futilely trying to escape for a while, before giving up and just lying down, breathing hard, trying to recover his breath.
He’s close enough to Jungkook now that he’d be able to hear Jimin talk, even though he’s been quiet for awhile. “ARE YOU GUYS SERIOUSLY FUCKING WHILE I’M ON THE PHONE,” Yoongi hears, loud and clear. Jungkook laughs and Yoongi feels the vibrations travel through to him. It feels weird. “I’m hanging up.. I don’t want to know anything about this.”
“We’re not doing it, hyung. I was just tickling Yoongi-hyung.”
“I said I didn’t wanna know anything about your weird sex games,” he complains.
Jungkook sputters incomplete protests, completely flustered and Yoongi watches with interest as a blazing red creeps up his neck. The younger eventually breaks off his mumbles with a groan and buries his face in the crook of Yoongi’s neck. The older absently comforts Jungkook, hand reaching up to stroke and fiddle with his hair.
Jimin’s wheezing laughter continues on for a little while more before they finally taper off. “Anyway, I was calling cause Taehyung wants to go to the beach. You in?”
Jungkook instantly perks up. “The one in Busan?”
“You know it,” he replies and Yoongi knows he probably winked or did something just as dumb.
“We’re in!!”
“Thought so,” Jimin hums a little in thought, then adds, “and dress nicely, Jin’s bringing his camera.”
Yoongi scowls as he looks in the mirror. His fingers pick at the collar of Jungkook’s too-big white t-shirt, hoping, maybe, that if he positions it just right, it won't look as baggy. Or maybe, at least cover 70% of his shoulders.
He blows a strand of hair away from his face and sighs a little. Of course it rained today, the one day he managed to make himself look nice for a date.
Now, he just looks like a mess. The shirt just...drapes over him, covering his body except in the areas where it sticks to some wet patches on his chest. The basketball shorts jungkook offered fit, but you could barely see them under this fucking huge t-shirt. And to top it all off, a loose flannel that has definitely seen better days and looks infinitely better on Jungkook.
He leans a bit closer to the mirror, to see what he can do about his hair. But it's still really damp from his shower and no matter how he styles it, it looks like some variation of a wet dog. Reluctantly, he gives up and opens the door, ready for Jungkook’s laughter and teasing. Even spreads his arms out to really show it off, and makes a face when the plaid slips down and covers his hands.
Jungkook looks up from where he was watching tv on the couch and his face kind of just...blanks out. He quickly gets up, walks overs, and tugs Yoongi into his firm body, arms wrapping around his waist in a loose hug and buries his face into his still, slightly wet hair.
Yoongi is. Very confused.
"Oh god," Jungkook mumbles, "you're so cute. How are you so cute."
The shorter cranes his neck and see what Jungkook’s face looks like but the younger's hand instantly rises to hold his head still. Yoongi manages to see a glimpse of a red ear before he was forced back into the crook of Jungkook’s shoulder and a tiny smile slips onto his face without his permission.
He steps a little closer, his own arms coming up to loosely encircle jungkook and they just. Stand there. For awhile.
It's nice.
He doesn't remember much about that day, or the days after it, and wonders if it's a blessing or a curse.
What he does remember:
- An all nighter at the studio, losing himself in his work to forget about their fight for just a moment
- Falling asleep at some point
- A voicemail sent 3 hours ago before
- Jungkook’s bloodcurdling scream
And then,
nothing.
Yoongi finds a photo in his wallet. He's confused for a second until he remembers, in a flash, that Jungkook once took his wallet from him while he was blearily making coffee in the afternoon, too sleepy to protest, and put something in it while saying, "it's because I look good," a beat accompanied by a giggle, "and you look dumb." Yoongi never bothered to check.
It's of them.
Jungkook was right, he does look good. And Yoongi looks dumb.
Jungkook’s immortalized with the sun shining on his hair just right. With a smile more radiant than the sun, with eyes full of stars, gazing right into the camera, and, inadvertently, right at Yoongi. The Yoongi in the picture looks as transfixed as Yoongi in the present feels. As full of love as he thinks he always will be. Full full full to the brim, to the point of overflowing. The difference between the two though, is that past Yoongi could do something about it, and did. Remembers rising to his toes and taking a handful of Jungkook’s surprisingly soft hair and pushing his head down to meet Yoongi’s in a desperate kiss. Remembers Jin's scandalized gasp and the click of the camera, Jungkook’s sheepish look when yoongi saw that picture in his wallet.
And present Yoongi, overflowing, overwhelmed, can only sit alone in a cold room, looking at photographs.
Missing Jungkook.
They’re all hanging out again, at their special space on the abandoned train tracks. They sit in the loose circle of random couches that they found and dragged over, shedding blood (Namjoon tripped and skinned his elbow), sweat (none of them were safe from the sweat), and tears (of relief, that it was over).
It’s one of those days where they don’t talk much but just savor the presence of the others. A bottle of something cheap and vaguely alcohol-like is being passed around the circle, someone taking some swigs directly out of it occasionally, because none of them realized that they didn’t have cups at the hideout until it was too late.
“I really love you guys,” Hoseok says emotionally, out of nowhere. The others nod and agree and turn to the people next to them to say their i love you’s too. “No really,” Hoseok emphasizes, because it feels too much like a school icebreaker. He takes a swig out of the bottle and passes it to his right, onto Jungkook, “I don’t know what I’d do without you all.”
Jungkook continues the spiel, also taking a long swig out of the bottle, “‘s insane, y’know? That we all managed to meet each other.” He stares blankly at the bottle before he wrinkles his nose, “what’s in this?”
“Feelings,” Yoongi darkly whispers from across him.
“No, wait, Jungkook has a point,” Jin says, digging into his jacket, and then his pants for something.
“I do?” Jungkook asks.
“Aha!” Jin cries in delight, lifting and showing off his phone. “Gather round, children, I have documented the day fate tied us all together.”
They all lean in, heads squished against one another, with no expectations and come out of it having witnessed Namjoon tripping on a chicken nugget in slow motion.
"Wha-? How?" Namjoon gaped, looking absolutely flabbergasted, as everyone collectively lost their shit. "How'd you get a video of that?"
Jin beams. "McDonald employees," Jin pauses dramatically, "are kind to good people.”
"Good looking people," Taehyung adds, and high fives Jin.
Taehyung doesn’t make any contact for 2 months until, suddenly, he does.
"Can we meet at that cafe on 3rd?"
When he gets the text he's more than a little disbelieving, and still hurt that Tae just refused to even look at Yoongi when he heard the news. But he goes. Because it's Taehyung. Because he can't lose anyone else.
When he steps through the door of the cafe, he's instantly enveloped by warmth. Arms are wrapped around him, squeezing him so tight that he comes off the ground.
"I missed you hyung!!" Taehyung nearly shouts in his ear, and Yoongi grimaces. He gently taps his shoulder and Tae lets him down, looking a little embarrassed about being so enthusiastic.
"I missed you too," Yoongi blurts out, because it's true. "Let's get a table, yeah?"
They make small talk, how have you been, what's been going on in your life, has your dog been well, until they order and the mood shifts suddenly. Yoongi can feel it, sees it in the serious glint in the younger's eyes, the subtle lean towards Yoongi, creating the illusion of privacy.
"I'm really sorry, hyung," he says lowly. "After Jungkook- was gone, I needed time. I wanted to be there for you but every time I looked at you-" he sounded choked up, "I saw him, you know? Like, he would just open the door and come in, like nothing happened. I'm. I'm really sorry."
Yoongi could feel tears prickling his own eyes as he listened. He firmly grabs Taehyung’s hand and looks him right in the eye, because Taehyung needed to know,
"I forgive you.
I'm sorry too."
[Voicemail from Kook-ah: Play]
"Hey Yoongi, it’s Jungkook. You probably didn’t answer your phone cause you’re in the studio. Normally I would just go there and talk it out face to face but this time feels different. That fight- was harsh. I just- I need to apologize as soon as possible. So just, listen. We both said some things we didn't mean. I know you Yoongi. Okay? I know you didn’t mean it. And, and you know that I wouldn’t ever mean it either. We were just caught up in the heat of the moment, and I promise , I’ll be better. So can we just go back to normal? I can't lose you...I love you, please, can we just go back. I-” Jungkook takes a deep breath, but his voice still trembles as it comes out, “I’m so sorry.”
Suddenly, the distant city sounds that were just a backdrop to Jungkook’s voice becomes louder, cars honking and screeching, peoples’ frantic screaming. Clearest of all, most heartbreaking of all, is a scream that only comes when you know your life's in danger, when there’s nothing you can do about it but scream.
Jungkook’s scream.
There’s a clattering sound afterwards, like the phone’s been dropped. And then, a woman’s voice, a bit distorted. “Someone call 119, someone’s been hit-”
[Voicemail From Kook-ah: End]
In the spring of 2015, Min Yoongi visits a grave in Busan, carrying with him a bouquet of Esmeraldos and an apology on his lips. He sets the flowers down gently at the base, and with equal care, sits down.
He takes a deep breath in,
opens his mouth,
and cries.
[Jungkook’s Voicemail: 16 Unopened Messages]
"Jungkook, Jungkook answer your fucking phone, what was that? Fuck. Fucking shit. You better be okay. We-we can work everything out just fucking be okay Jungkook. Please. Fuck ."
“Jungkook? It’s Jin, Yoongi called me and he sounded really worried. Please call me back if you’re okay.”
".............."
"..............."
"...................Jungkook, please......."
"..............."
".............oh Yoongi, not again……...you have to stop doing th-"
"..............Jungkook, I......"
"..................."
"...................."
"I'm sorry."
"I'm really sorry Jungkook I really am.........."
"......I-I miss you....please.....come back....."
"....................."
"Hi, Jungkook...I think I might be ready to start trying to move on. It's probably gonna take awhile to-to-yeah it's gonna be awhile. And..it might be better if I stop leaving these kind of messages for you. So..I guess this is goodbye?
...Goodbye Jungkook.
I love you."
"Hey Jungkook, it's been a few months since I've left you a message, huh. Life now is, it's good. It's better.
I still miss you. I hope you're happy, wherever you are.
I still think about you sometimes, and it's okay. It's good. You...really made me happy, Kook-ah. Thank you. I hope I did the same.
...
I love you, I think I always will.
Goodbye."
[I'm sorry, this number can no longer be dialed. Please hang up and try again.]