Chapter Text
-15 years ago-
As Sans woke up, his skull was covered in tiny beads of sweat. His soul raced within his rib cage and his chest rapidly moved up and down with shallow breaths. Another nightmare, he thought to himself and nervously looked around the dimmed room, clutching the blanket in his hands. It seemed like forever since he managed to sleep through an entire night without any disruptions, usually in the form of nightmares. Horrible dreams of melting monsters and sharp needles piercing his soul. A shiver traveled down his spine when he thought of it.
"S-SANS? ARE YOU AWAKE?" A tiny voice called from beside his bed. It startled him a bit until he realized that it was just his little brother, Papyrus. "I-I HEARD YOU SCREAM, SO I CAME TO WAKE YOU UP."
"oh, was, uh... was i really screaming this time? s-sorry bro, i didn't mean to scare you. it was just a nightmare."
"IT'S OKAY, BROTHER. I JUST THOUGHT IT SOUNDED SCARY SO, I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS CAME TO SNAP YOU OUT OF IT! DO YOU WANT ME TO STAY HERE WITH YOU AND KEEP THE BAD DREAMS AWAY?" asked the tiny skeleton. Even though young, he had no problem with his confidence, but as for now, his usual fearless expression was replaced with big, worried eyes looking at right at Sans.
"thanks bro. i'm lucky to have such a cool dude to look after me," said Sans and made room for him on his bed.
"YEAH, YOU ARE!" Papyrus chirped happily and crept up beside Sans. He yawned and his bones crackled softly as he stretched his arms. "HEY, SANS... CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING?" asked Papyrus as he made himself comfortable.
"hm? of course."
"WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SICK SO OFTEN?"
"oh... well. that's just how it goes i guess...?" Sans blurted out. He would rather not discuss that with Papyrus. In fact, he would rather not discuss it at all. He felt so guilty having to lie to everyone, especially his brother. He really wanted to tell them, but as for now, he had no other choice.
"WHY CAN'T DADDY GIVE YOU YOUR MEDICATION HERE AT HOME? I DON'T LIKE IT WHEN YOU HAVE TO GO TO THE LAB WITH HIM."
Every first Monday of the month their father, the royal scientist of King Asgore, Doctor Wing Dings Aster brought Sans to his laboratory to give him 'medication', to 'treat his sickness'. Or at least that's what Papyrus and Grandpa Semi were told. In reality, he was taken to the lab in order to perform a few tests for his father. The test-subject was himself, and while he wasn't really sure what his father and his colleagues were testing, he knew that it was very important to them.
People often told how clever he was for his age, and if he may say so himself he was pretty strong too. Apparently, those were traits that made him a good candidate for whatever their project was. The procedure consisted of sticking a long tube, with a needle in one end, and a bag of what his father referred to as DT at the other end and into Sans' soul. It left him feeling very sick almost all of the time afterward. He'd get really worn out, nauseous and his whole body would hurt a lot. Sometimes he'd even get spikes of fevers.
His father, Wing Dings was very scarce on information when Sans confronted him about the experiment and only told him that 'one day, he'd understand', or 'it's for the benefit of all monsters', or 'the greater good'.
One thing for sure was that it was really starting to get tiresome for the nine-year-old skeleton.
Besides, always having to lie was the worst. Wing Dings had been very clear about not telling anyone. It was strictly forbidden. Not even the rest of their family could know. He had no idea why, but he felt obligated to obey his father. So they made up some crazy story about an imaginary illness, because of which Sans would need regular input of medication into his soul every other day.
"YOU ARE GONNA GET WELL ONE DAY SOON, RIGHT? AND THEN YOU WON'T HAVE TO GO AWAY ANYMORE," said Papyrus, half mumbling.
"yeah, of course, bro. dad is, uh... really close to finding a medicine that'll cure me for good! besides, you don't have to be sad while i'm gone. you get this whole room all to yourself. no stinkin' brother to boss you around and you can play with all of my toys if you want..."
"I'D MUCH RATHER HAVE YOU HERE," Papyrus whispered and dragged the blanket over his face.
"yeah? well, me too," Sans mumbled under his breath after a short pause.
The next morning was pretty much like any other first Monday of the month. No one said a word at breakfast, except for Grandpa Semi, who babbled on about something he read in the newspaper.
Wing Dings might as well not have been there at all. Like always his attention was strictly on gathering the rest of the supplies needed for the visit to the lab. Even the normally talkative Papyrus ate his cereal in silence. Sans didn't have much of an appetite himself. He knew what awaited him today, and he did not forward to it.
When it was time to go, he gave Papyrus a big parting hug and reassured him that he would definitely not feel sick or tired when he got back home. Another lie, of course, but at least it made Papyrus feel better. He smiled and waved at them as they left the small house in the suburb of New Home.
They were heading for the big lab in the Hotlands where Wing Dings worked. On the way there they passed through the core, which gave the scientist an opportunity to check on his creation and make sure that it was running efficiently. Sans had been there with him more times than he could count and he felt like he knew his way around the core almost as good as his dad did.
When they finally got to the lab, a few other scientists greeted them happily with tired smiles and coffee mugs in their hands. Sans had seen them many times before, but he didn't remember their names.
Wing Dings led Sans into his office and closed the door behind him. Sans saw a concerned, almost nervous look on the doctor's face, which wasn't like him at all. He wondered if he got a bad result from last time or something like that.
"what's up dad?" asked Sans and put his backpack down on the floor.
"Nothing." A certain hint of hesitation in Wing Dings' voice almost confirmed his fear that something was wrong. "I just... I mean, I know you've been very patient with all this, son," he continued as he opened a drawer from his desk and grabbed what appeared to be a syringe.
"yup that's me. the patient..." Sans couldn't resist the opportunity for a pun, but he regretted it quickly and carefully glanced at the grim look on his father's face.
"You spend too much time with your grandfather." Wing Dings rubbed his nose bone between his thumb and index finger. "In all seriousness, Sans. I think the progress of this experiment has been going very well, and that means we're ready to move on."
"move on? like, i don't have to get a needle stuck into my soul anymore?"
"No. That's still going to be necessary I'm afraid. Hopefully, once the new procedure is done, you won't experience the same amount of discomfort afterward any longer."
"oh, okay. what is the new procedure?" Sans asked. As much as he liked the possibility of getting rid of the long way to recovery after each session, the new procedure was still a bit unnerving considering his father's hesitation. If it weren't something bad his father wouldn't act like this.
"It's just a single injection. A one-time thing and then hopefully no more discomfort," said Wing Dings.
"huh. really?"
"Yes. If my calculations are correct then you should be able to handle this quite well by now."
"what is this then?"
Dr. Wing Dings sat down on his desk chair and sighed. "Every monster's soul lacks a major part of what human souls consist of, and that's a trait called Determination, or DT for short. It's what we've been injecting it into your soul. Everything we've done so far has been to make you tolerant to this." Wing Dings held up the syringe for Sans to look at. It contained a blue-ish substance that almost seemed to be glowing, somehow. "This is the very essence of my research and I need to find a proper host for this to grow and develop in. That's where you come in. While I think you're more than ready to handle this right now, you'll still need the DT for it to sustain within you," said the scientist and placed the syringe on the desk in front of Sans. He rubbed his bony hands with excitement and Sans couldn't remember the last time he had seen his father so enthusiastic about something. This really did mean a lot to him.
Sans couldn't help but be a little nervous though.
"but you still didn't say what's in it."
A knock on the door interrupted Wing Dings before he had a chance to explain. Not that it mattered. Sans had a feeling that his father wouldn't have answered his question anyway.
"Good morning, sir," said the scientist who entered the room. Sans knew her from before. She was usually the one assisting his father to check up on him during each procedure. Her dull calico fur was clad with the same white lab coat that every scientist at the lab wore and a pair of glasses rested upon her wrinkly, pink nose and strands of tangled hair draped her tired face.
Her name was Fani, a monster of the feline type. Her white whiskers perked up when she noticed him. "Hi, peewee! You ready for today?" she said, sounding as happy as ever. He hated the condescending behavior she had around him and he really hated being called 'peewee'.
"yeah. i guess so," he said with a grimace on his face.
"Glad to hear. Come, this way, please." She seemed to be completely oblivious to his dismay.
Sans gave his father a concerned look before following Fani to the elevator, which dropped down to the basement and into the corridor that leads his usual stay-over-room. On the way there they passed many other rooms. No one spoke of what was in there, but Sans knew.
There were other test subjects, monsters who had been through a lot more than he ever had. Monsters who were so far gone with various experiments that their bodies had started to fall apart. He only knew this because, during his previous stays in the basement, he'd gotten bored and crept out of his room and actually spoke to one of those monsters. It was kind of sad and a little scary even. The monster was nice though and he returned to her more than once. She was the reason for the bad dreams that Sans experienced lately. Out of the blue, her body started falling apart and it was like she just melted.
She didn't make it.
Instead of explaining what happened, or comfort him, his father simply urged him not to go to see any one of them again. He was just supposed to stay in his room.
"Please, make yourself comfortable on the bed, and I'll get the IV bag. You see, before we can give you the injection, you need to have a bit of an excess of DT. Just a little more than you're used to. It may make you feel a bit... uh, tingly. Don't worry though! If all goes well everything will be just fine from now on! That's a good thing, right?" said Fani eagerly. She spoke way too fast to sound sure of her own words.
"sure." Sans shrugged his shoulders and got up on the examination table. "although dad didn't tell me exactly what the thing in the syringe is. only that it was something he had worked very hard on." In the corner of his eye, he could see her body stiffen as she fumbled with the long tube, connected to the needle.
"Oh. Well anyway, it should be fine."
"but what is it?"
"Look, I'm sorry, but if the doctor didn't tell you then neither should I. Not that I think he's going to keep it from you. I think he's just had too much on his mind right now. I really think he should be the one to tell you... it's his project after all. Like I said before, don't worry." She made a poor attempt of a smile. "It should be fine."
"heh. you keep saying that word. should." A nervous chuckle involuntarily escaped his throat.
"Oh, peewee you know that's not what I meant. Of course, it'll be fine," said Fani gawkily. She hesitated a while before slowly nearing him with the familiar IV bag, filled with red substance in her hands.
"Ready?"
"yeah."
It always stung when the needle pricked his soul. After that, it wasn't that bad. At least not until a few hours after the procedure, and this time he feared he would get affected worse than before because of the increased dose.
He didn't like how both his father and Fani talked about if the new experiment would be a success or not. How it should be fine.
He didn't feel fine though. He felt far from fine. His stomach turned when his father entered the room holding the syringe shown to him earlier. Despite the fact that his father wasn't much of a talker, just a single comforting word or at least a little encouragement would have been nice. Best of all would be to know exactly what to expect from this, but he couldn't imagine that would ever happen.
"dad..." Sans began, but the royal scientist interrupted him.
"I'm sorry Sans. This may hurt a little. As soon as I know for sure the installation is successful I will give you some painkillers. Until then I'm afraid any drugs might affect it." He clutched the syringe in a tighter grasp.
"seriously dad. what is that?" asked Sans. He tried to keep his voice as steady as he could as Fani removed the needle from his soul, carefully padding it with a piece of cloth.
Wing Dings sighed deeply but didn't say anything. Sans thought he would leave him with that, but finally, the royal scientist spoke. "What it is, is a chance to redeem monsterkind and break the barrier without having to wait around for more humans to come along. That's all you need to know. Now keep absolutely still. I'm going to inject it through your eye."
"what? n-no...!" Chills traveled down his spine at the thought of that needle entering his eye. Suddenly not even the barrier seemed so important. Before Fani could get a hold of him, Sans got down from the bed and quickly drew back from them both until his back hit the wall.
"Take it easy Sans, it'll be..." Wing Dings began.
"you keep saying that, but it won't be fine! i'm not letting you do that!" He pressed himself as close to the wall as he could. "it's not worth it, right dad? what if something goes wrong and i end up like the other experiments down the corridor?"
Wing Dings' face was completely emotionless. "How disappointing. I was hoping you'd be willing to cooperate. I expected more of you."
"don't do that," said Sans, fighting the tears forming in his sockets. "i've always been cooperative. i have never complained before. i've done everything you've told me to and put up with everything you've done. but i don't want to do this anymore, i'm scared!"
"Please get back up on the bed. If you don't do it on your own, we'll have to make you."
"no! you always say you'll stop the minute i'm telling you to. i'm telling you to stop now!"
"I know, but this is necessary and we've come so far." A blue light ignited around Wing Dings' hand and magic grabbed a hold of Sans' soul and dragged him back onto the bed.
"dad, please..." Sans begged, but to no avail. The blue magic Wing Dings cast on his soul kept him put in place and he couldn't even struggle.
When his father approached him with the syringe in his hand, he couldn't hold back the tears any longer. He silently sobbed when the needled hoovered so close to his eye.
"It's okay. Everything will be fine," said Wing Dings before inserting the syringe into Sans' eye with a swift motion.
A very sharp pain radiated through Sans' skull and spread through his whole body. Even if he tried he couldn't hold back the agonized scream that escaped his throat. The sensation of not being able to move goaded on the panic that spread in his abdomen and he barely noticed when Dr. Aster removed the now empty syringe and put a bandage over his eyes.