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Over the years Merton had learned to resent snow days. He knew he should be as happy about them as the next public school student; it meant a day away from the endless parade of teenagers who were more popular, more well-adjusted, and generally happier than him, and that alone should have been enough to make him look forward to the occasional school closing.
The only problem with having a day away from his fellow students was that it made him even more aware of his status as class outcast. It was like having a spotlight turned on him while everyone around him pointed and whispered words like 'freak' and 'loser' just loud enough for him to hear. And maybe that was a little melodramatic, because he had a feeling that none of the other kids noticed his absence long enough to remember why they hated him, but that was how it felt whenever he spent a snow day alone at home.
While the rest of the kids in his class were out enjoying their day off, having snowball fights or going skating or just hanging out together, he was always alone. Until this year he'd never had a reason even to hope that things would be different, so when he looked out the window of his Chemistry class and saw the snow coming down in thick, wet flakes his heart sank into his stomach more out of habit than anything else.
He tried to tell himself it was just a passing storm, that the snow wouldn't stick and any minute now it would let up. So of course by the time he got to History it was coming down even harder, and when he heard the scratch of the intercom groaning to life he knew what was coming before the principal even started talking. When classes were cancelled for the rest of the day the entire class broke out in a chorus of cheers. Merton just sank a little lower in his chair and scowled.
Eventually he had to get up and make his way through the throng of excited teenagers, shoving against the sea of warm bodies until he reached his locker. Tommy was already there when Merton arrived – smiling, of course. It was the excited, youthful grin that his best friend reserved for Christmas and football and large buckets of fried chicken. It was exactly the grin Merton had expected to be confronted with, and it made him want to turn around and head in the other direction. Instead he forced a weak grin in response and opened his own locker, shoving books in and fishing his keys out of his backpack before he pulled his trench coat on.
"Isn't this great?" Tommy said as Merton swung his locker shut and turned to face him again. "A whole day with nothing to do. I love snow days."
Merton muttered something that could have been interpreted as an agreement and shifted his backpack onto his shoulder. "You want a ride?"
Tommy's smile faltered momentarily, but he felt into step beside Merton as the smaller boy turned in the direction of the parking lot. "What are you talking about? Merton, it's a snow day."
"I heard the announcement," he answered, keeping his eyes on the floor in front of him so he wouldn't have to see the confusion – or worse, hurt – in Tommy's eyes. He didn't want to have this conversation with Tommy; he didn't want to say something to hurt his best friend's feelings when Tommy was the first person that had ever looked past his image to get to know the person underneath.
That meant a lot to him, but sometimes it was hard to forget that the only reason they even knew each other now was because Tommy had needed something from him. And he didn't want to resent the only person that had ever cared enough to want to be his friend, but sometimes he wished Tommy had never talked to him that day at the beginning of the year.
He had his hand on the door when Tommy caught up with him, a hand closing around his arm to pull him back out of the flow of traffic. "Merton, what's the matter with you? We get a whole day off school, why are you acting like your dog just died?"
"I don't have a dog." He was tempted to add 'unless you count yourself', but he had a feeling Tommy would take it the wrong way.
As it was Tommy rolled his eyes, his hand still firmly gripping the other boy's arm as he leaned a little closer. "You know what I mean." His voice was low, his eyes darting to the side to make sure no one was watching them. Normally that didn't bother Merton at all; secrecy was a normal part of both their lives, and the less attention they drew to themselves the better. Right now it bothered him, though, but he didn't say anything because he knew Tommy wouldn't understand why.
He shrugged as well as he could with Tommy holding onto him, glancing out the front door at the snow falling down in clouds of white. "All I asked was if you wanted a ride."
The words didn't come out as casually as he'd been going for, but he forced himself to hold the other boy's gaze anyway. Tommy stared at him for another long moment, but he finally let go of Merton's arm and took a step backwards. "So you're just gonna go home?"
He hadn't actually said that, but he had a feeling that pointing it out would start something he wasn't sure he wanted to finish. Anyway, that was pretty much the plan, so there was no point in denying it now. "It's not like there's anything else to do. Look, if you want a ride fine, but I'm not gonna stand here all day and argue about it."
He turned before Tommy could answer and headed for the door, wincing against the cold blast of air that stung his skin as he stepped outside. The snow was thick enough to make it hard to see where he was going, and he gripped the front of his thin coat and tugged it a little closer around his neck. He started off in the direction he thought he'd left his car, hoping he wasn't going the wrong way. The last thing he needed was to spend the morning trying to find the hearse in a snowstorm.
"Merton."
Tommy's voice caught on the wind and thinned out, barely audible by the time it reached Merton. He heard it anyway, despite the fact that he wasn't blessed with his best friend's super-sensitive hearing. For a few seconds he thought about ignoring the other boy, but he had a feeling if he did he'd regret it later. Tommy was going to want an explanation as it was, and Merton wasn't sure how to tell the other boy what was wrong. There wasn't really any one thing; it was just a memory of the way things used to be creeping up on him and reminding him of why he couldn't expect any of this to last.
"Merton," Tommy repeated as he finally caught up with the smaller boy, his cheeks red from the cold and his breath coming out in hot white puffs of smoke. "Are you mad at me?"
"No." It was the truth, or as close as Merton was willing to get. He wasn't mad at Tommy; it wasn't his best friend's fault that Merton couldn't let go of the fact that a year ago Tommy had treated him the same way everyone else in school still did. "Look, Tommy, I just don't like snow very much. Are you coming or not?"
"Not like snow? How can you not like snow?" Tommy asked, ignoring Merton's question and the impatient sigh that escaped the other boy. Most of the students were long gone, but there were still a few left cleaning off the cars surrounding the hearse. Merton barely noticed them, though; he was too busy trying not to think about how good Tommy looked standing in the snow with fat white flakes settling in his hair.
"I just don't, okay?" Merton practically snapped, brushing a little more aggressively than he needed to at the snowflake melting against his cheek.
"So I guess the snowball fight in the town square's out," Tommy said, his voice taking on that lilting tease that Merton had come to know and fear. He was defenseless against pretty much all of Tommy, and the other boy knew exactly how to play all his weaknesses. This was one fight Merton was determined not to lose, though, even if it meant going home alone the way he'd done every year of his life until he and Tommy became friends. "How do you feel about ice skating?"
Merton rolled his eyes and scowled so he wouldn't accidentally smile at Tommy's hopeful expression. It was getting harder to hang onto his sullen mood, and he knew Tommy was going to declare victory any second and drag him off to some Pleasantville High snow day ritual. The funny thing was that this was the first time in his life he could actually show up at the snowball fight or the skating party and not be stared at, but he didn't want to go. All he really wanted to do was go home and feel sorry for himself.
"I don't like ice either," he shot back. "And before you say it, no, I don't want to go to The Factory for hot cocoa and Tommy's Greatest Hits."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Tommy asked, reaching out to grab Merton before he could turn away. "What the hell did I do?"
"Tommy, come on, you know what happens every time you get around all your other friends. Everybody spends the whole time telling stories about how great and cool you are, and they all pretend I'm not even there. You don't need me around for that."
"I want you around." Merton looked up briefly at the quiet statement, his heart skipping a beat at the mixture of hurt and affection in the other boy's eyes. "Come on, Merton, I can't help it if I'm popular."
"I know," Merton admitted, his shoulders falling a little. He knew he was being unfair, but he didn't feel much like being fair right now. And it wasn't that he wanted Tommy all to himself – well, that wasn't all of it, anyway – but he didn't feel like spending the entire day being ignored by the rest of the senior class. Most of them barely tolerated his presence out of respect for Tommy, and a few of them were openly hostile whenever they got the chance.
And he knew it wasn't Tommy's fault, but the fact was that until Tommy got bit by that wolf he'd treated Merton exactly the way the rest of his friends still did. It was hard to reconcile that Tommy Dawkins with the Tommy he knew now; the one he'd watched sleep dozens of times in the past few months, the same one who knew every inch of him and had the ability to reduce Merton to a quivering wreck with just a few well-placed kisses. "I just don't feel like it, okay? Come on, it's freezing. Just help me clean off the car and I'll drop you off wherever you want."
Before he could make a move for the car Tommy was right in front of him, hot breath warming his cheek and in turn, several other parts of his anatomy. From the look on Tommy's face he had a feeling his best friend was well aware of the affect he was having on Merton, and if he wasn't mistaken Tommy was enjoying it. Strong, familiar hands reached for the front of his trench coat, and a second later Merton was being hauled forward and pressed against a very warm, very solid Tommy.
"What are you doing?" he hissed, looking frantically around them as he clawed at Tommy's hands in a vain attempt to get the other boy to let go.
"Warming you up," Tommy answered as though this was the sort of thing they did every day. Well, technically it had been happening pretty steadily for the past few months, but never in front of other people. When they were at school they were just friends, it was an unwritten rule that neither of them had ever questioned. "You need a better coat, Merton. I know you've got your image to worry about and all, but I don't think frostbite's the look you're going for."
Struggling against Tommy's grip was warming Merton up a little, but it wasn't doing much good as far as actual escaping went, so he finally gave up and flattened his palms against Tommy's chest. "Tommy, somebody's going to see us," he warned, his voice dropping as though he was afraid someone might hear them as well.
"I don't care."
A sharp tug later and he and Tommy were practically sharing the same physical space. They were so close that Merton could feel the familiar curve of Tommy's pelvis pressing against his side, and he swallowed hard and glanced desperately over his shoulder in the direction of the hearse. He was tempted to point out that he might care if someone saw them, but he wasn't sure he could lie that convincingly. Tommy could always see right through his lies anyway, so Merton had given up trying to put things over on his boyfriend a long time ago.
"This is a pretty weird time to come out, you know," he muttered, doing his best to look annoyed.
Tommy just shrugged and slid one arm under Merton's coat to circle his waist. "Yeah, well, I figured keeping it quiet would be easier for you. I didn't want to give anybody anything else to use against you. I can't just stand here and let you freeze to death, though."
Merton opened his mouth and then closed it again, testing and discarding several responses before he finally settled on one. "If you'd let me go so we could get in the car that wouldn't be a problem," he pointed out, trying and failing to control the grin that tugged at the corners of his mouth when Tommy laughed against his neck. It wasn't what he wanted to say, but he had a feeling Tommy understood. And maybe later he'd find the words to thank Tommy for trying to protect Merton from something he'd never wanted protection from, but right now his mind was swimming with too many different emotions.
He'd always assumed that Tommy was protecting his own reputation by keeping their relationship a secret; it had never occurred to him that Tommy was trying to protect Merton because he knew he couldn't be there all the time to stop the inevitable torture that would go along with being Tommy's boyfriend. For the first time since Tommy pulled him close Merton let himself relax, his hands leaving Tommy's chest to slide around the back of his neck. He leaned up at the same time he pulled Tommy forward, pressing cool lips to the other boy's cheek just below his ear. It wasn't much of a thank you, but he had a feeling Tommy would know what he couldn't find the words to say.
When he pulled back again Tommy was still grinning, apparently oblivious to the rest of the world as he focused on making sure Merton didn't freeze to death before they finally made it to the car. The other boy's good mood was turning out to be contagious, and for the first time since he noticed the snow Merton was glad they had a whole day with nothing to do. Slowly he pulled his arms out from around Tommy's neck, letting his fingers explore the warmth of the other boy's skin as he met Tommy's gaze again. "You're not just doing this so I'll go to some dumb snowball fight, are you?"
"Nope," Tommy answered, pulling abruptly away from Merton and leaving the smaller boy feeling even colder than he had before Tommy stopped him. "I don't feel like getting all wet anyway. Let's just go back to your place."
"Tommy, are you sure? I don't mind if you want to go." As soon as the words escaped his lips Merton wanted to kick himself, but he did his best not to let it show on his face.
For a long moment Tommy just looked at him, then he took a step forward and took hold of Merton's chin. "I don't need anybody else, Merton," he said, leaning forward to press a brief, firm kiss against the other boy's mouth. When he pulled back his grin was just as bright as it had been before, and he let go of Merton's chin to slide an arm around his shoulders. "Come on, let's go home."
Merton didn't answer; for the first time since he could remember he was actually speechless, and he knew if he tried to talk it would just come out in an incoherent rush. He knew Tommy liked him; he knew Tommy wanted him, even, but needed him? The concept was so foreign that Merton had no idea how to respond to it. When he felt Tommy's hand tighten on his shoulder he decided that he didn't need to say anything; he had a feeling Tommy already knew how he felt, and when he finally found the right words to say it out loud Tommy would still be there to hear them. For now he was just going to enjoy their day off; for the first time in his life he was actually looking forward to a snow day.