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Teddy couldn't believe he was doing this. A blind date? He’d never been on a date as it was but ever since he’d opened up to his friends and finally told them he was into guys they’d been adamant that he meet this one guy they were sure would dig him. It’s like they think that just because he likes guys instead of chicks that he’d like the first dude they threw at him.
The truth - not that he would admit it - was Teddy enjoyed being single. Everyone made this huge fuss about how awful it was to be alone on Valentine’s Day and that they were so desperate for someone to show some interest, but Teddy liked the solitude. He found it comforting that he didn't have to constantly worry about what he looked like and he had no obligations to be somewhere and with someone all the time. He had the freedom to avoid the shower for days at a time and slouch around in his scruffiest clothes at the weekend watching movies and reading comic books while his friends were out spending money on their dates and having to constantly worry if the wind was worth purchasing hair spray to defend against. He’d done all that and it hadn't been worth the effort. He’d had his heart broken countless times by men but never by a good Firefly marathon.
But here he was all dressed to impress and waiting patiently in the restaurant his friends had picked for a guy he’d never met. He hated meeting people with the intention of romantic entanglement; it put so much pressure on looking right and acting right. He couldn't be comfortable around someone he was meant to impress.
Teddy waited for the guy to show. His date was half an hour late and when he eventually turned up Teddy had already become lost in his own fantasies. “Theodore Altman? Hello?” Teddy jumped and looked up into a pair of lovely brown eyes.
“Teddy. Call me Teddy.” He couldn't help smiling. His friends had picked well. His date was really cute. He was probably a few inches shorter than Teddy which he liked. He was also slender and had dark brown hair that fell forward into his eyes when he leaned towards Teddy to proffer his hand.
“In that case I’m Billy. Billy Kaplan.” Teddy hadn't figured that a handshake was how two guys greeted one another on a first date. “I’m so sorry I’m late. My best friend wouldn’t let me leave the house wearing my Iron Man t-shirt. She insists there’s a difference between casual and scruffy. It took me a good half an hour to convince her that Iron Man isn’t scruffy. I’m afraid she won that argument.” Billy looked as uncomfortable as Teddy felt but at least they now had a topic of conversation that Teddy could engage in. Teddy tried to conceal his appraising eyes as he examined the outfit his date’s friend had picked out for him. He was wearing red checked shirt not fully done up, leaving Teddy to speculate about the rest, he figured that was the intention, and smart, dark blue jeans that looked like they cost more than Teddy’s entire outfit.
“No problem. I was similarly detained. I’m not really good at the whole ‘going on a date’ thing so my friends turned up half an hour before I was supposed to leave and I was still in my pyjamas reading comic books.”
Billy’s eyes betrayed his surprise. “I didn't peg you for a comic book kind of guy. You look more the sporty type.”
Teddy could see he’d piqued the guy’s interest. He knew a fellow comic book nerd when he saw one. “Can’t I be both?”
Billy looked embarrassed, like he felt guilty for having assumed Teddy was a big dumb jock. Teddy loved surprising people with his intelligence. “So is Iron Man your favourite?” At his words, his date’s eyes lit up. Teddy decided then that even if this date didn't turn out romantically, he wanted to be this cute nerd’s friend. “I gotta say I’m more of a Captain America man myself.”
“Actually, although I love Iron Man, my favourite is The Scarlet Witch. She’s so underrated. I mean she can warp reality. How cool is that?” Billy was clearly more than just a passing super hero fan. This guy was a fanboy and Teddy found that sparked into life his own secret love of heroes.
“She also has a hard time figuring out where her loyalties lie,” Teddy pointed out.
“That’s a bit harsh. Her dad is Magneto. It must be difficult having to choose between your only surviving parent, even if he is a crazy homicidal, paranoid psychopath, and being a hero.” Teddy liked that Billy had clearly considered this question in depth before. “So why Captain America?”
Teddy shrugged. “He was just a kid from Brooklyn who wanted to be a hero but he couldn't, and then he was given a chance and he seized it. He defied all those people who didn't believe in him and he’s still not scared to be compassionate. I’m a kid from Brooklyn. I like to think that it could happen to me.” Teddy finished talking and he looked up into Billy’s face expecting to see humour but Billy wasn't laughing at him. He was smiling at him fondly like he’d said something wonderful.
Their evening continued in a similar fashion. They talked for hours about comic books and heroes and then they’d fallen in to talk of games and other things that they filled their time with. Billy confessed that he was a straight A student because most of his spare time was spent studying; a trait his mother, the psychologist, had drilled into him from a young age - which Teddy found adorable.
After they’d eaten they walked through the park and continued talking and laughing. The topic turned to more serious things like dream careers after college and favourite movies. Teddy discovered that Billy could be really sarcastic when he wanted to and also that he was a closet musical fan. He re-watched all his favourite musicals on rotation every couple of months. By the end of the night Teddy was ready to ask him out again.
“Hey, look…I know this was a blind date and generally they’re pretty disastrous so I’ll totally understand if you don’t want to go out again but at least, maybe we could hang out again as friends.” Teddy’s heart sank, he had been reaching for Billy’s hand when Billy had started talking but he pulled back now. They’d been walking through the park and Teddy’s hands were frozen because he’d spent a good few minutes trying to build up the courage to reach out and take Billy’s fingers in his own.
“Um, yeah, if that’s what you want. I’d like that.”
“You don’t sound particularly enthusiastic. We don’t have to if you don’t want to. It was just a suggestion.”
“Ah, no, it’s just that….I thought…ah…I thought the date went really well.” Teddy’s hand rubbed the back of his neck subconsciously. He hadn't been this nervous for a long time but for once it felt like a good kind of nervous. “I was going to ask if I could take you out again. But if you don’t wa…”
“Yes, please. I mean yeah, that would be totally cool with me too.” Billy must have been at least as nervous as Teddy because when Teddy finally looked at him, he was also rubbing the back of his neck in an automatic nervous response. As if he wanted to be doing something else with his hands but was resisting by using them for something else.
“Great.” Teddy truly grinned now. He reached out for Billy’s hand hoping that it wasn't too soon and that he could hold it as he walked the smaller man home. “Christ Billy, your hands are freezing. Why didn't you put them in your pockets?”
Billy looked embarrassed. “This is going to sound incredibly stupid.” But he was grinning. “I was trying to find the confidence to hold your hand.” Teddy found it amazing how Billy was so easily able to laugh at himself.
Teddy didn't discard Billy’s slur towards himself as he had wanted to instead he said something out loud which he had been thinking and had not meant to verbalise. “I have the sudden impulse to kiss you.” Billy’s step faltered and then his grip on Teddy’s fingers tightened.
“I wouldn't object,” he said after a moment’s silence. Teddy had almost forgotten what it was he’d requested. He halted suddenly bringing Billy to a stop a step in front of him. Using Billy’s momentum he pulled him round to face him and then he stepped in, wrapped his free hand around the back of Billy’s neck and leaned in pausing barely an inch from his face. He could feel the warm rush of Billy’s breath on his lips and he shivered internally, not from the cold. When Billy didn't back away or resist, Teddy moved forward and met Billy’s mouth with his own. The kiss was hardly the gentle kiss he’d been intending. It was firm and abrasive but Billy didn't hesitate to return the pressure moving his own hand to press just beneath Teddy’s ear and kissing him back with the same need.
An errant thought passed through Teddy’s head before he discarded it as impulsive and in poor taste. They were both adults. Would Billy object to coming home with him on their first date? Of course he would. Billy was not that guy and they hadn't met in some sleazy pub after a full night of drinking. Teddy would be patient. What was the dating rule? Three dates? Teddy could wait that long, he supposed.
Billy seemed to have a knack of verbalising everything Teddy was thinking. He pulled away from the kiss but only just. He was still in reach and Teddy could still feel his breath in short bursts and clouds of steam. “Is it terrible that I really want you to come home with me? But I feel like we should stick to the three date rule.” Teddy laughed breathlessly.
“I think it’s scary how you always seem to know what I’m thinking. In that case, is it too soon to take you out tomorrow? I take that back because that makes me sound like I just want to get in your pants. What are you doing this weekend? There’s an event at the flower garden for the first flower viewing of the season. The Cherry Blossoms look unbelievable this time of year.” Billy had been grinning throughout Teddy’s rambling.
“I think that sounds wonderful.” He let go of Teddy’s hand to move his arms around his neck and stretching up on his toes, he kissed Teddy again. Initially Teddy had been upset by the loss of Billy’s hand but the moment he realised Billy’s intention that feeling had vanished. His own hands snaked around Billy’s waist to pull him closer.
“Which one?” He hummed into Billy’s mouth, the response was favourable.
“Both.”
…
Their second date had been a wonderful success. Teddy had taken Billy to a museum and then they’d gone for an easy dinner at Teddy’s favourite burger joint. While they were eating they’d walked and chatted again and Teddy was under the impression that they’d be doing a lot of that. He enjoyed it immensely as Billy talked through most of it and he found that he really liked listening to Billy. Every now and then Billy would apologise for talking so much and ask Teddy a question and then he’d respond to whatever Teddy had said with some enthusiastic anecdote or joke of his own and would lose himself to his train of thought again. Teddy couldn't be happier.
The weekend arrived and Teddy drove to Billy’s house to pick him up and take him to the flower garden. He’d been insistent as the cold weather wasn't letting up and he was worried that it’d rain later. Billy opened the door as soon as Teddy pulled up and grinned at him through the window. “I knew you’d be a truck driver. I called it.” He jumped in the warm cabin of Teddy’s truck and Teddy didn't even wait for him to close the door before pulling him in for a kiss. “Hmm. That was a nice way of saying hey.”
Teddy chuckled “Hey.” Billy sat up to pull the door shut and Teddy took advantage of his momentary distraction to slip his fingers over Billy’s hand and lift it to his mouth to press his lips to Billy’s knuckles. He’d missed Billy in the two days since he’d seen him but he’d never admit that. He’d never found himself spending his usual down time thinking about someone else so much. He’d had his share of crushes but they’d been short lived and never as intense as the crush he was sporting for Billy Kaplan. Billy was intelligent, adorable, brave, witty and the perfect amount of geeky fanboy. “Ready to go?” Billy nodded and allowed Teddy to hold his hand a moment longer before he slipped it out of Teddy’s and under his thigh.
That was one of the things Teddy had noticed Billy doing a lot. Whenever they were sitting down Billy would maneuver his hands under his legs. Teddy was still unsure whether it was a nerves thing but it hunched Billy’s shoulders forward and made him look so small and cute. He figured Billy wouldn't much like it if Teddy called him cute so he kept his observation to himself. Billy had a lot of nervous habits that Teddy was noticing like how he blew his hair out of his eyes whenever it slipped forward or whenever they walked Billy watched his feet like they had suddenly turned into glass slippers and he might lose one at any minute. Billy putting his hands under his legs meant that he couldn't reach over and take hold of the one closest to him while he was sat at a traffic light or whenever he wasn't using his right hand but more importantly it told Teddy that Billy was still nervous or uncomfortable around him and this upset Teddy. He wanted Billy to be his wonderful self at all times around him but he couldn't figure out how to bring it up.
“You ok?” Billy had been looking out of the side window as they drove not talking. It was unusual that Billy didn't fill the silence with streams of words that Teddy tried is best to listen to.
Billy glanced up when he spoke. “It’s our third date.”
“Oh. You know there’s no pressure to do anything just because somebody at some point decided that three dates was a good number? They don’t even have to be dates if you’re uncomfortable with that. They can just be us hanging out.” Teddy prayed that Billy didn't say yes to that. He liked Billy, a lot, but if it was what Billy wanted he’d do whatever meant so that Billy would still spend time with him.
“No, that’s not it. I wasn't worried about that. Well I was, but not for the reason you think.” They pulled up at a stop light and Teddy took the opportunity to reach over and squeeze Billy’s knee.
“Whatever it is, you can tell me.” He meant it. He was quickly starting to realise how lucky he was that he was being allowed this precious time with this wonderful boy. He wanted Billy to be able to tell him anything and everything. Billy returned the gesture by sliding his hand out from its hiding spot under his leg and squeezing Teddy’s hand.
“It’s just that…I mean I've had boyfriends before…we’re boyfriends right?” Teddy hadn't really thought about labels but he really liked the idea of being Billy’s so he nodded not wanting to interrupt whatever Billy was about to confess. The agreement clearly helped Billy relax because his shoulders sagged and Teddy hadn't even realised that they were hunched. “I've had boyfriends before but I've never really done the whole dating thing. And it’s been a while so I've never actually made it to the…um…’third date night.’ If you know what I mean.” Billy used his hands to air quote his speech. Billy looked directly at Teddy begging him to understand and Teddy wished he could turn and look Billy in the eye but the law and the hope of keeping them alive kept his eyes on the road.
“You've never slept with a guy?” The question wasn't surprise or even meant in any way other than confirmation of what Billy meant.
“I've never slept with anyone, no.” Billy looked ashamed like he felt that he had some sort of obligation to have slept with someone. Some obligation that he hadn't fulfilled and Teddy hated whatever it was that had made Billy feel that way, whether it was some specific person having mocked him for his lack of experience or whether it was society in general.
“You’re nervous,” He stated. Billy nodded. “Don’t be. We’ll do everything at your pace. We don’t even have to do it tonight. Whenever you’re ready, Billy.” Teddy was not going to admit that he hadn't either. But he’d gone out and bought all of the necessary supplies, he’d even gone online to see if there was anything he’d not taken into account. He was pretty sure he knew what he was doing.
Billy punched his arm playfully which Teddy took to mean ‘I’m still manly’. Teddy thought it was adorable that Billy felt the need to qualify this in his presence. He knew how tough Billy could be. On their last date, a group of high school kids had shouted some abuse at them when they’d been walking hand in hand. Teddy had been happy to let it go but Billy had stepped in threateningly, ready to knock the homophobia out of them. It had taken a good few minutes for Teddy to talk Billy down from his rampage but he was flattered that Billy was willing to step in to defend his honour in that way. “I just don’t think we should plan it. It sort of feels….forced that way. I’d rather just let it happen.” Teddy understood. He wasn't going to lie though, he’d imagined Billy in all manner of positions since their first date. His favourite of which was Billy naked and straddling his thighs.
The date was a huge success until the rain came and Billy was suddenly really grateful for the heated shelter of Teddy’s truck. They’d been mid picnic when it had come. Visible as a wall moving towards them across the city, they’d packed the remaining food into the bag Teddy had brought and run. Still, by the time they reached the car park they were both dripping wet. “We’re going to get your car all soggy.”
“I’m really not bothered Billy. Get your ass in the car before you drown.” He had grimaced and climbed into the cabin which was already so much warmer than outside but his wet hair and clothes made him shiver so Teddy pulled the blanket out of the bag they’d been using for the picnic food and draped it over Billy’s shoulders while he was leaning forward adjusting the air conditioning.
“What about you?”
“I’ll be fine.” But he was clenching his jaw to avoid visibly chattering his teeth.
Teddy pulled up outside Billy’s apartment and when he didn't move to get out of the car Billy hesitated. “You’re coming in right?”
“I didn't think you wanted that tonight.”
“That isn't what I meant. If that’s where it leads then great but you’ll get sick if you don’t come inside and dry up.”
Secretly Teddy thanked the rain for catching them.