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The sun is just cresting over the Manhattan skyline as Mike sits up next to Harvey, watching the older man sleep. They’ve had a long night--one in a line of many late nights recently that had nothing to do with work--and sleep has just finally taken over Harvey’s weary body. Mike knows his better half wants to be at work in just a few short hours, but Mike thinks a day off is in order instead. Jessica had already suggested it the previous evening after getting into an argument with Harvey that never should’ve taken place. It had been clear Harvey was exhausted for a few days, but the fight made the need for time away from the office clear.
Mike reaches out and grabs his phone from the nightstand, scrolling through his contacts as he’s careful not to stir the blankets too much, lest he wake Harvey. He finds Jessica’s name in his contact list and then opens a new text to her, sending a quick message about taking the day before sending a similar message to Donna and then returning the phone to the nightstand. He doesn’t expect a reply too soon, given how early it is.
As his gaze falls back to Harvey asleep next to him, the older man exhales a heavy breath, curling a fist around the blankets. Mike eases down next to him and gently runs his left palm over Harvey’s bare back. His hands are a bit warmer than Harvey’s skin, and it seems to relax Harvey. Mike leans down and places a chaste kiss on Harvey’s left shoulder before resting his head on the pillow behind the man. He wants to sleep as well, but he can’t. He’s too wide-awake with thoughts and questions, some of which will never be answered. He can’t help wishing he could call Grammy, or even Rachel or Jenny, but those aren’t options afforded to him. Rachel hasn’t spoken to him since she moved to California to attend Stamford several months ago, save for the occasional e-mail, and that ended abruptly when he told her that he was dating Harvey. While she insisted she wasn’t angry, she was apparently angry that he’d moved on. And Jenny....well he still hasn’t spoken to her since that day outside the formerly titled Pearson Hardman.
Mike scrubs a hand down his face, wincing as his fingers bump the edge of his eye socket. There’s still a light bruise there, and he’s told Harvey it looks worse than it actually is, but it’s done nothing to make the older man feel better about current events. Mike hates it. Harvey never knew he was behind him.
The incident had happened after a long day during which Mike had been banished to the library for research. Harvey had already been having a rough day, arguing with Jessica about a case he didn’t want to take, and Mike’s attempts to calm Harvey hadnt gotten anywhere when they’d stepped out for a mere ten minutes to stop at the hot dog truck down the street. So when he’d returned to Harvey’s office that night with proof of a clause that would get their client out of hot water, he’d expected Harvey to be happy.
Instead, he’d walked in on Harvey arguing with the opponent’s lawyer over countersuits. Mike had no clue what they were arguing about but Harvey was emphatic enough that he was almost screaming in the man’s face.
In Donna’s defense, she tried to tell Mike not to go in, and to just leave the papers for Mike, but Mike had figured what he found would bring Harvey back down a few notches with good news, so he went in anyway.
Harvey’s voice was loud enough that it wandered outside the room when Mike opened the door, and attracted the attention of both Louis and Jessica a few moments later, but it was a few moments too late. Because when Mike walked in the room, he was met with Harvey’s elbow in his face.
The pain Mike felt as he curled forward was enough to make him groan. The textbook he’d been holding open fell shut it dropped to the floor, but the room had fallen silent as well.
“Are you okay?” Harvey asked.
Mike nodded, reaching down and grabbing the textbook from the floor before he stood back up with his other hand over his eye. Before he could say anything though, the door opened behind him and Jessica entered the room. Mike glanced behind himself and saw her, and then spotted Louis outside of the room talking to Donna. His attempt at being subtle was terrible though, because it was clear he was trying to figure out what had taken place.
“Who are you?” Jessica commanded at the man standing across from them.
“Sanford Hadley,” the man responded.
Jessica nodded curtly, glancing him up and down. “From Wakefield Katie. Right. Well you’re done here.”
If the man wanted to argue any further, he clearly recognized that Jessica was a fight he didn’t want, and he headed out of the room. Jessica waited until he was out of sight before she turned to Harvey.
“What in the hell was that all about?” Jessica growled as she turned towards Harvey.
“He’s saying they’re going to sue us into the next millennium, and most of it is crap, but....” Harvey huffed, shaking his head furiously.
“But what?” Jessica asked.
“Some of it could hold up,” Harvey responded.
“Mm-mm,” Mike interjected, holding the textbook towards Harvey. “I bookmarked the page. It’s going to throw their case out completely.”
Harvey stared at him skeptically for a few moments before flipping open the book to where Mike had tucked in a sheet of paper covered in notes. Harvey moved the sheet aside and skimmed the page until his eyes caught what Mike was talking about. A smile started to crest over his face.
“What happened to you?” Jessica asked. Harvey looked up and realized she was looking at Mike.
“Harvey popped me in the eye,” Mike commented. When he glanced over, Harvey’s expression had changed, and he color had drained from his face. Mike’s brow furrowed and then he winced.
“Take care of it,” Jessica said as she headed towards the door. “And no more screaming. Stop making me the mother in this damn building.”
Once Jessica had left the room, Harvey laid the textbook on his desk and then grabbed Mike by the lapel of his jacket and led him out of the room, past Donna and down the hall. Mike was confused, but Harvey turned at the end of the hall and led him into the Partner’s kitchen. He released Mike’s jacket, only to walk over to the freezer and retrieve an ice pack. He grabbed a towel from a drawer afterwards and wrapped the ice pack before walking back over to Mike and pulling his hand away from his eye.
All of the skin surrounding the eye socket was red and swell, and there was already a hint of purple bruising edging under his eye lid.
“Fuck, Mike.” Harvey laid the ice pack gently against Mike’s face, shaking his head at himself. Mike hand slipped up over Harvey’s curling his fingers against the older man’s as he held the ice pack in place. A beat passed before Harvey seemed to realize the position they were in, and Harvey pulled his hand down. While there were plenty of rumours abound in Pearson Specter about Harvey and Mike, they didnt flaunt it in any sense. The only person who actually knew they were dating was Donna, and that was only because she caught them making out a few months back in the bathroom at an event after they’d landed a large client. Granted, she’d been less than cheerful to know that Harvey had kept that secret from her, but she let it go soon after.
“I’m fine,” Mike told him, but Harvey had looked away, and wouldn’t look back at him. He reached out to grab Harvey’s hand, but the older man yanked it back like Mike had burned him. “Harvey-”
“Don’t worry about it. Just go home.”
Harvey headed towards the doorway, but Mike spoke before he got away.
“Fine. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then.”
Harvey exhaled a frustrated breath, glancing up at Mike. “No. I won’t be long. Just go back to my place.” He paused for a moment. “Please.”
When Harvey wakes up, the sun is bright and blaring through the room onto the cherry wood floors. He turns his head over as he moves his arm out beside him, only to find that the space is empty. He groans softly and looks around the area of his bedroom. He quickly spots a pair of Mike’s jeans and sighs softly, rolling onto his back.
Things have been less than great with Mike lately, and he knows it’s one hundred percent his fault. Harvey created the problem when he hit Mike the previous week, and while Mike keeps telling him that it was an accident, Harvey doesn’t see it that way. He had been pissed off when he’d been fighting the lawyer from Wakefield Katie, and he had wanted to hit someone. Just not Mike.
He moves off the bed and walks across his bedroom to the adjoining bathroom, running a hand through his matted hair as he does. He quietly pushes the door shut and then steps over to use the facilities before stepping over to the shower and turning the water on. Once the temperature is to his liking, he steps into the spray, pulling the door shut behind him.
As he stands under the water, he can’t help but be frustrated. For months now, nearly every shower had included one Michael James Ross under the ridiculously mutually self-centered guise that they were conserving water. Their relationship is nothing if not physically electric, and it causes private moments to have an added flare.
In an attempt to ignore his own frustration, Harvey attempts to focus his washing up, scrubbing both his body and his scalp thoroughly clean. It doesn’t take very long though, and as he steps out of the shower some minutes later, his focus is right back on the current problem.
Harvey brushes his teeth and tries to make some sort of an effort with his hair before walking back into the bedroom. He walks over to the closet and finishes drying off before getting dressed into a pair of loose, torn up jeans and a black henley.
When he opens his bedroom door, the scent of breakfast hits him like a freight train. He can’t help the smile that crosses his face. Of the two of them, Mike is the one who knows his way around the kitchen better, and he never fails to let Harvey reap the benefits of that. Granted, it requires Harvey to spend extra time in his building’s gym, but he doesn’t mind. They spend more than enough time eating take-out that a home-cooked meal is a delicacy.
Harvey enters the kitchen and walks up to the breakfast bar, eyeing the the food set out as he does. There’s fresh bacon and eggs resting on a plate, and the steam rising off of them tells him they’re freshly finished. Sitting beside it is a mug filled with what he’s sure is vanilla cappuccino, because Mike has sought out and exploited this weakness of Harvey’s. Usually a morning like this would get Mike just about anything he asked for, but Harvey knows what he’s seeking, and he doesn’t have the answer. Not the way Mike wants it, at least.
As he’s taking his first sip of the drink, shuffling emits from the next room, and then Mike walks in. Harvey can’t help looking him up and down, taking in the sight of his own jeans hanging loosely off of Mike’s slightly thinner frame, and one of his Harvard t-shirts hugging Mike’s body. It stirs a number of feelings in him, but the most prevalent one wins out, and his gaze drops to the ground.
“I told Jessica and Donna we wouldn’t be in today,” Mike commented from the doorway. “I know you wanted to go in, but-”
“It’s fine,” Harvey replies in a dismissive tone. It’s already after noon and he has no desire to sit at a desk at this moment.
Mike nods, but doesn’t move from where he’s standing. Harvey munches on a piece of bacon, and the silence withers on between them. Finally, Mike steps further into the room and walks towards Harvey.
“We need to talk about whatever’s going on here,” he says.
Harvey huffs, dropping his line of vision to the floor. He doesn’t want to talk about it, and hasn’t wanted to talk about it. That’s not going to change.
“There’s nothing going on here,” Harvey responds.
“I highly disagree.” Mike argues. “There’s obviously something you’ve been angry about for a while now. Last night-”
”Last night I was pissed off about losing the client,” Harvey said with total disregard. “And I was exhausted.”
Mike nods, closing the bit of distance left between them. He reaches out and grabs Harvey’s left hand, lifting it up. His thumb brushes over the knuckles, and Harvey cringes slightly. “So that makes you angry enough to punch a wall?”
Harvey rolls his eyes and yanks his hand from Mike’s grasp, moving to walk past his much younger boyfriend. Mike is quick and agile though, and he grabs Harvey’s arm as the older man passes around him. Harvey growls, and his hand flies up in defense, telling Mike to let him go. But instead, flesh meets flesh, and bone hits bone. Harvey freezes.
It’s not a bad hit. Mike knows it won’t even bruise, much less stay red for more than a fe minutes, but his pride is hurt. Not because Harvey has hit him--he knows it’s wasn’t intentional--but because Harvey won’t let him in. He hates seeing the person he loves most suffering so much and not knowing why.
stWhen Mike finally looks back up at Harvey, the older man is frozen in his spot, unmoving, but the look on his face is eerily familiar. Mike remembers it from the night Harvey accidentally elbowed him. And though he’s never seen it before on Harvey that he remembers, he can’t help feeling like there’s guilt in Harvey’s expression.
“Harvey...”
The older man doesn’t move, or speak. His facial expression doesn’t even change. His eyes seem to grow softer though, and then become glassy with tears. It makes Mike’s heart hurt.
“Harvey,” he tries again. That seems to wake Harvey from whatever has him devoid of expression.
“You should go,” Harvey mutters softly. “Leave, and don’t come back.”
Mike opens his mouth to respond, but Harvey has already turned and walked away from him. Mike stands in the kitchen for a moment, stunned at Harvey’s proclamation. When he manages to get his bearings after a few seconds though, he heads after the other man, determined to get to the bottom of everything. He’s not letting Harvey send him away without a fight.
When he rounds the corner and finds Harvey back in his room, the older man is picking up clothes that Mike knows belong to himself, and tucking them into a duffel bag Mike brought over weeks ago with clothes for the weekend. He knows that all his clothes won’t fit in the bag, and he doesn’t care. He’s not leaving.
“Harvey, stop,” Mike tells him. Harvey just continues to pick things up.
Mike huffs and walks over to to Harvey, grabbing his arm to force him to look at him.
“Stop it, Mike,” Harvey says as he reaches for a wrinkled thermal shirt. Mike kicks the shirt aside, and Harvey rolls his eyes, stepping over to grab it.
“God damn it, Harvey-”
”Stop it-”
“Harvey!”
“Leave it alone, Mike!” Harvey roars. It’s the first time he’s really looked at Mike clearly in days, and there are tears in his golden-brown eyes. He inhales a deep breath, seeming set on continuing to scream at Mike, but instead, no words come. Left in their place are shaky breaths while Harvey continues to look entirely furious. The tears in Harvey’s eyes finally fall, and Mike feels like someone is cutting his heart into pieces, one slice at a time.
“Harvey.” His voice cracks, and there’s a knot in his throat.
“You have to go,” Harvey whispers, staring at him with a broken expression. “You can’t let me hurt you. I won’t let you allow me to do that.”
Mike’s brow furrows, and he shakes his head. “What? No. You’ve never hurt me.”
“I’ve hit you,” Harvey responded. “More than once.”
“Both times on accident,” Mike reminded him, but Harvey didn’t seem to accept that as a plausible explanation. Harvey stares at the floor once more.
Mike closes the space between them, lifting his hands to Harvey’s face. Harvey tries to reach up and remove Mike’s hands, but Mike is insistent, and he stands firm.
“Stop fighting me,” he insists when Harvey tries to yank his hands down. He lowers into Harvey’s field of vision and makes sure he has the older man’s eyes on his. “You have not done anything to hurt me, other than refuse to tell me what’s hurting you.”
“Michael, please,” Harvey whispers. It’s so soft and filled with pain that tears fill Mike’s eyes.
"I love you, Harvey Reginald Specter.” Mike tells him. “And I’m not letting you go. You haven’t hurt me. You never will hurt me. I know that for a fact, so why don’t you?”
Harvey shakes his head, refusing to catch Mike’s gaze as tears start to stream steadily down his face. Every tear is only worrying Mike more, but he doesn’t know what to do. He does the only thing he can think of and wraps his arms around Harvey, holding the other man as tightly as he can.
Harvey is slow to respond, but when he does, he returns the hug, crying into Mike’s shoulder. He knows he doesn’t deserve this comfort, but he loves Mike too much to keep fighting him. It’s just that much more exhausting, and he was still tired to begin with.
An unknown period of time passes with the two of them just standing in the middle of the bedroom, hugging. When Mike finally does lean back, he places a kiss against Harvey’s temple before resting his forehead there.
“Okay?” He asks softly.
Harvey sniffs and then reaches up to wipe tears from his face. “I think.”
“Will you talk to me now? Please?” Mike requests.
Harvey glances up at him, bottom lip trembling at the thought of where to even find the words. He inhales a deep breath and then turns and walks over to his bed, sitting down on it. His feet curl against the edge of the bedframe while his hands grasp the mattress. He blinks a few times to clear his vision.
“It was my mom,” he whispers softly.
Mike feels a knot form in his stomach immediately. He already knows about a number of issues Harvey’s mother has created in his life by being less than exemplary. He can’t even fathom what this new morsel of information is going to make him feel.
“It wasn’t all the time,” Harvey continues. “And it got better after Marcus was born, because she was gone more. But before Marcus, and whenever she was around after...”
Mike walks slowly over to the bed and sits down on the edge of it, leaving well over a foot of space between himself and Harvey. He rests his hands in his lap, not wanting to disturb Harvey’s train of thought.
“She hurt you?” Mike asks.
Harvey laughs haughtily. “Hurt isn’t a proper word for it. She was cruel, and she didn’t care.”
Mike doesn’t respond, so several minutes pass in silence. Even so, Harvey doesn’t get up or move, and Mike realizes he’s trying to find the right words.
“I remember this one time, I couldn’t have been more than five or six, she came home because my Dad had a gig, and she’d been out drinking, but he was the only one bringing any kind of cash in so he had to go. I remember he told her all she had to do was put me to bed in thirty minutes, and then left...” Harvey paused, shaking his head.
“She started drinking alcohol in the house, and I remember asking about having a snack. She told me to go get a piece of fruit, but the bowl was out of my reach, so I’d gotten a stool and tried to climb it. My foot slipped on the second rung, though, and I fell. I wasn’t hurt, but I apparently made a bit of noise, because she came in ranting and raving about what a nuisance I was, and when I stood up, she backhanded me. I fell, and then she kicked me in the legs and told me to go to bed.”
“Oh my god,” Mike murmurs. “Harvey-”
“I got up later that night to get a drink,” Harvey continues. He glances over at Mike with tears brimming in his eyes. “She got mad at me for getting up, and she downed a glass of bourbon before throwing the glass at me. It hit the wall, but those little scars on my back and arms that I told you I got in an accident-”
“She did that to you?” Mike asks. He can’t hide the anger in his voice. He’s filled with unadulterated rage towards this woman and he’s never even met her.
“The sick part of it all, is that I put up with it because I figured maybe I just got dealt a bad hand. I thought maybe if she took all her aggression out on me, things could stay good for Marcus and my dad...” Harvey shakes his head again. “She didn’t ever care about any of us.”
Mike gulps and tentatively reaches out to Harvey, resting a hand over Harvey’s. He squeezes lightly, and after a moment, Harvey squeezes back.
“She was supposed to love me, and she hurt me.” Harvey spoke softly. “I do love you, and I have hurt you. I don’t want to do to you what she did to me.”
“You won’t,” Mike responds. “You’re better than that.”
”You don’t know that,” Harvey says dismissively. “You can’t know that. You may have an eidetic memory, Mike, but you can’t tell the future.”
“Maybe not,” Mike replies as he closes the space between himself and Harvey. He interlaces his fingers with Harvey’s, reveling in the comfort of that feeling. It’s been more than a week since he’s felt it. “But I know who you are, in this moment. But if it’ll make you feel better...” He pauses, hesitant to speak what he’s about to, but he knows Harvey needs to hear it, if only for his own sake. “If I ever see you becoming that person, I’ll leave.Whether it’s just us, or there’s a houseful.”
”You have to promise,” Harvey insists.
Mike leans forward and brushes his lips against Harvey’s. They both shudder, and Harvey crushes against him, pushing his tongue into Mike’s mouth as his free hand moves to the back of his neck. Electric, like always.
“Promise,” Harvey begs before his tongue is brushing over Mike’s bottom lip once more.
Mike’s free hand fists around Harvey’s shirt for a moment before finally pushing the older man away from him. They were in the middle of a serious conversation, and it matters. Even if the previous moment occurred because Harvey had been putting him off for the past few days, it doesn’t change the fact that the conversation isn’t finished, and Mike won’t let Harvey suck them into a relationship where sex is the only thing that comforts him. He believes in Harvey, and he needs Harvey to believe in himself as well.
“I promise to always stick by you and help you,” Mike tells him. “And I promise to never let you physically hurt me on purpose. But I will never abandon you.”
Harvey seems less than satisfied with Mike’s words, but he seems resigned to arguing the subject any further. He leans back over and kisses Mike, chastely this time. Granted, their hands still move up eachother’s bodies, but there’s less fervor this time. The moment is relaxed and welcomed, instead of rushed and forced. They drift back against the bed, and Harvey leans over, curling a food around one of Mike’s legs and pulling the younger man over him.
He’s lucky, he thinks, because Mike is his net, catching him when he free falls. He’s stopped Harvey from hitting the ground today, and likely saved his sanity in the process.
That’s more than Harvey could’ve thought to ask for.