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It was late in the evening and Prosciutto was awake. He was checking any last preparations before going off to a mission assigned by his team's leader. He heard someone knocking on his door. He walked across his bedroom and half-opened the door to avoid the person outside coming inside. The person was no other than his fellow assassin and user of the Stand known as Little Feet, Formaggio.
"Hey, Prosciutto!" Formaggio smirked. "I just came over because we are having a game upstairs. You want to join us?"
"No," Prosciutto said coldly, without the slightest bit of interest. Though he couldn’t help feeling curious. "What kind of game?"
"A drinking game!"
"I am inclined to believe that this would be your idea of fun?" the user of the Grateful Dead asked. His nose wrinkled with distaste. "Who else are the participants of the said game?"
"There is Ghiaccio, Melone, Illuso... and Pesci," Formaggio replied.
At the mention of Pesci's name, Prosciutto's eyes flared.
"You brought Pesci into your game?!" he raised his voice. "Don't you remember what happened the last time he got very drunk?"
"Yeah, it was fucking hilarious!" Formaggio laughed. He recalled a memory involving Pesci and an old woman's dentures, which ended in a bloody mess. "Anyways, I promise nothing like that will happen again."
"I doubt it."
"Come join us, buddy! Risotto is a no-show tonight, and we wanted to have an even number of players for our game."
“Six players, huh?” Prosciutto sighed. “I’ll join, but only so I can keep an eye on Pesci.”
Prosciutto followed him upstairs where they find the rest of the assassins sitting around a circular table. Illuso was sitting beside Ghiaccio, who was across Melone. Formaggio took his seat while Prosciutto sat far away from him.
"I'm so happy you could join us, fra'!" Pesci grinned, sitting between Prosciutto and Melone. "I missed going to these drinking games."
"Pesci, I thought I told you never go to this kind of activity. Especially if HE'S involved," Prosciutto warned him, casting a dark glance at Formaggio. "These games can get vulgar, especially if HE’S making the rules."
"I was bored and since half of us are going to our assignments soon tomorrow, I decided to have a little excellent game," Formaggio began as he sets up the wine bottle and several glasses.
"Oh, joy," Prosciutto groaned.
"Well, let's get on with this then!" Ghiaccio snapped. "I have a long drive tomorrow!"
"The rules of the game are simple," Formaggio continued. He has a wicked smirk played on his lips. "We will play the ‘I Have Never’ game. To those who don’t know this or who do know but need a reminder, the rules are: a person will say 'I have never’ about the thing he had not done and then drink. However, if another person had done that said thing he has to drink too. We should all be honest with our answers and the one who gets drunk first will be given a punishment."
"Yes, but if we should be honest with our answers, I think it’s best that anything we say tonight never leaves this room," Illuso added.
Formaggio zipped his lips. "I swear on my father's soul, I won’t breathe to a single soul."
"I wanna start!" Pesci volunteered eagerly.
"This game is too simple, I suggest a new idea for this game," Melone spoke up.
"What do you have in mind?" Ghiaccio asked, with an irritated expression on his face.
"In addition to the drinking of alcohol…" Melone began as his fingers stroked his hair as though he were some dastardly villain. "The person should be required to take off a part of his clothing or accessory."
Prosciutto’s jaw popped open. Pesci blushed like a child. Ghiaccio made an indignant noise. Illuso nodded in agreement.
"Absolutely not!" Prosciutto and Ghiaccio shouted in unison.
"Absolutely yes!" Formaggio laughed. "We will call it the strip-drinking game!"
He poured the glasses with wine and they all took one. Pesci was the first to start.
"I have never bribed anyone," he began.
"Damn it," Formaggio drank his glass and took off his red leather jacket, leaving behind a mesh shirt. "My turn. I have never had someone walking on me masturbating."
Prosciutto blushed, thinking of a memory where he just got out from a bath after finishing and Formaggio rudely walked in to ask him a question.
Bastard probably brought it up since I’m here, he thought bitterly.
He took a drink. So did Illuso. Everyone fell into an awkward silence.
"Okay, since both of you drank," Formaggio said, "One will strip while the other will give the 'I have never'."
Illuso chose the former; he unbuckled his belt. He poured wine into the glasses to the ones who finished their glasses.
Prosciutto thought for a long time. What should he say to get Formaggio stripped down faster, and embarrassed him?
"I…. have never… fantasized going down on someone of the same sex."
Nobody moved. Formaggio drank and, out of nowhere, Melone drank his glass after much hesitation.
"Who did you fantasize, Melone?" Formaggio asked mischievously.
Melone said nothing but winked deviously at him. Formaggio became a little uncomfortable and he decided to take off one of his arm warmers and let the other guys do the talking.
"I have never lost my virginity to an older woman," Melone said.
Ghiaccio drank his glass down and took off his thick-rimmed spectacles.
"I have never eaten strawberry cake!" he said as though it was the most random thing he can think of.
Pesci drank to that and clumsily took off his left shoe, almost falling off from his seat. He then said, "I have never run over a poor innocent dog. Wait--"
Prosciutto angrily takes a drink, almost spitting it out. "Pesci!"
"Fratellone, I forgot!" Pesci cried as Prosciutto smacked him.
"Shut up and strip," Melone demanded.
"I have never used my Stand to cheat in games," Prosciutto said after taking off the large pendant around his neck.
Formaggio’s jaw dropped and he drank his wine.
"I’ll get you next time," he grumbled as pulls down his trousers, revealing his underwear.
Prosciutto secretly cackled. Formaggio is losing much faster than he expected.
"I have never believed in such a thing called true love," Formaggio could not think of anything else.
Only Pesci drank and took off his other shoe. Ghiaccio poured more drinks.
Pesci thought and then spoke with reluctance, "I... I have never used ropes to tie up my lover and perform erotic tortures on them!"
"Pesci, what the holy hell?!" Formaggio was trying hard to hold back his laughter.
"I-it was the only thing I can think off!"
Melone drank again to everyone’s surprise. Illuso sighed heavily and drank as well.
"…. Melone, you should be the one to strip this time," Formaggio said.
Melone smirked at him. He decided to pull off the upper half of his thin suit, revealing his chest.
Formaggio whooped. "All right! We finally got decent skin showing!"
Prosciutto felt his head getting heavy from the wine, but he hoped he doesn’t pass out soon.
"I have never used latex gloves to touch myself," Illuso said.
"Y-you–How did you know?!" Prosciutto cried with embarrassed outrage (much to Formaggio’s delight). He drank and took off his shirt. He grumpily announced, “I have never had inappropriate thoughts of Risotto Nero."
This is a lie. Prosciutto did find their leader to be one sexy bastard he wouldn't mind seeing naked, but there's no way in hell he's going to allow anyone else, ESPECIALLY Formaggio, force it out of him to humiliate him. Plus, he's too lazy to think of anything else.
It seemed nobody suspected his lie since only Ghiaccio drank to it and stripped off a shoe.
Wait--him too?! Prosciutto was taken aback.
"What kind of inappropriate thoughts are they, Ghiaccio?" Formaggio grinned.
"Shut up. I have never… um… never done anything sexual with my Stand," Ghiaccio said, his face red with angry embarrassment.
In a shocking twist, everyone drank. Melone took off his gloves, Pesci shyly removed his coat, Illuso pulled off his vest, Formaggio removed his mesh shirt, and Prosciutto pulled off pants.
It took a while for Ghiaccio to speak. "… I’m disgusted to be affiliated with all of you!"
Prosciutto secretly sighed in despair. Note to self: Wear more clothes or at least two more accessories.
Formaggio chuckled evilly.
The game continued and only Formaggio and Prosciutto were down to their underwear. The rest of the assassins hadn’t removed any more of their clothing.
"I have never gone to bed... in the nude," Formaggio smirked cockily.
Prosciutto coldly stared at him before drinking his glass (Melone drank his' too). He lost.
"You rotten bastard…" he hissed.
"Well, Prosciutto. It looks like you’re the first one out of the game," Formaggio sneered excitedly. "You know what to do~"
"Oh, you just love to see me get naked, don’t you?"
Prosciutto slowly goes to remove his underwear. There was a tense silence in the room. The others waited and stared in anticipation. Prosciutto’s underwear hit the floor, but he remained in his seat, keeping his legs crossed. He pouted with annoyance.
"There. You happy?" Prosciutto hissed.
Formaggio whooped with triumphed. "Satisfied!"
"I shall avenge youuuu!" Melone said in a slurred voice. He picked up his glass after Ghiaccio poured the wine. "I have never placed itching powder on Ghiaccio’s bed."
Ghiaccio blinked with confusion. "Why would you bring that up…?"
Formaggio drank much to Ghiaccio's shock.
"That was you?!" he shrieked. He looked as though he was going to throw the near-empty wine bottle at Formaggio’s head. "I thought it was Pesci who did it!"
"Yeah, I just FRAMED Pesci," Formaggio replied nonchalantly.
"You had me punished for something I didn’t commit!!" Pesci was on the verge of tears. "Prosciutto made me clean the toilet!"
"I couldn’t forget that smell," Illuso mumbled. "It took weeks for you to get rid of that stench…"
"Well, now you caught the real culprit." Formaggio climbed on top of his chair. With a flourishing wave of his hand, his underwear was ripped off from his body. The user of Little Feet stood like a champion.
"Rules are rules, I’m out of this game too!" he announced proudly.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU ALL DOING?" Risotto Nero’s voice roared and everyone jumped when they saw the leader of their team had walked in.
"We are playing a strip-drinking game," Melone answered lazily.
"And Prosciutto and I just showed everyone our Stands," Formaggio replied offhandedly. "Not So Tiny Feet and The Grateful Dick."
Illuso spilled his drink on his pants. Risotto's eye twitched.
"Put your clothes back on, Formaggio," he commanded in a stern tone.
"Relax," Formaggio waved his hands and then goes to retrieve his trousers.
"All of you go back to your beds," Risotto ordered. "The last thing we need is half of you botching up your missions because of a bad hangover."
"Ghiaccio has inappropriate thoughts about you, just to let you know," Illuso told him before ducking out of the room before Ghiaccio could murder him.
"COME BACK HERE YOU FUCKER, YOU SAID NOTHING LEAVES THIS ROOM!" the blue-haired assassin yelled.
Everyone else left the room. Pesci was the last to leave mumbling, "I don’t like this game anymore. I’m gonna be sick tomorrow…"
La Fine.
