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Kids can be cruel. Teenagers can be merciless. When your parents burden you with an unusual name, you become an easy target for everything from lighthearted jokes to malicious taunts. By fourth year, Euphemia was sick and tired of putting up with the Hogwarts bullies, she jinx three Slytherin boys who were following her around, singing a crude song they wrote about how the name Euphemia has many euphemisms. With a satisfied smirk, Euphemia returned her wand to her robes and turned to make her way to Gryffindor Tower.
Unfortunately, she turned to see her Charms professor standing in front of her with folded arms. The week's worth of detentions Euphemia received as punishment were worth it in her opinion. The classroom being used for detention was almost empty. One boy, who Euphemia recognized as Monty, a Gryffindor in her year, was sitting at the front of the classroom, doodling in his notebook.
Euphemia also enjoyed drawing, so she took a seat next to him. Monty seemed startled by her presence. He hastily closed his notebook.
"Wait," Euphemia said "I just wanted to see what you were drawing. I like to draw too."
Monty looked her over with furrowed brows. Then, he seemed to have reached the conclusion that she could be trusted. His face soften and he opened his notebook again.
"I was just working on a logo for my potion." Monty told her.
It may have been the first time Euphemia heard his voice. Monty was very shy and kept to himself, only speaking to other students if forced to do so by teachers during class activities. On the pages of his notebook were sketches of brand logos for something called "Easy Sleek Hair Potion". One sketch featured a bubbling caldron, one had a witch applying some sort of liquid to one side of her head that appeared to smooth her frizzy hair while the side without the liquid looked like an unkept bird's nest, another featuring a handsome wizard with slick hair who's arms were around two pretty girls.
"What is Easy Sleek?" Euphemia asked.
"It's a potion I'm working on." Monty said without meeting her eye.
"Well, I'm lousy at potions. But, I know art and you're pretty good. These are just sketches but they're well done."
Monty blushed. "Thanks."
"So," Euphemia began, kicking her feet up on the table. "What are you in for?"
"I was dueling in the corridors." Monty admitted. "People think they can tease me and get away with it. They can't. I have a lot of patience, but after four years of abuse I decided to show them who they were messing with."
"Why do people tease you?" Euphemia was curious. Monty was a decent enough looking boy. He got good marks in all his classes and never showed any personality for people to mock it.
Monty became nervous. He shuffled his feet and cleaned his glasses with his robes. Looking away from Euphemia, he spoke, "It's my name."
"It can't be worse than Euphemia."
"You must've forgotten the sorting ceremony our first year. Everyone had a good laugh at you till they hear my name. Nobody remembered your embarrassing name after mine blew it out of the water."
"What is your name again?" Euphemia had forgotten. Monty always went by Monty when interacting with his few acquaintances. The professors called all the students by their surnames.
Monty spoke in a voice so low, Euphemia barely hear it. "Fleamont."
Euphemia snorted. She couldn't help it.
"Hey, I've dueled one person today. I'm already in detention for it so I've got nothing to lose!" Monty, or FLEAMONT said.
"I'm sorry, sorry." Euphemia insisted. "I'm not laughing at you actually. Ok, maybe I was, just a little. Fleamont is quite an unfortunate name." Monty tensed up and Euphemia quickly continued. "But, what's really funny is how you got sent to detention for dueling after somebody made fun of your name and that's why I'm here too! I jinxed some stinking Slytherins who've always found my name hilarious."
Monty laughed a little too. That was the beginning of a beautiful friendship. By sixth year, that friendship became something more. They married shortly after leaving Hogwarts. Monty made a lot of Galleons with his hair potion, changed from Easy Sleek to Sleekeazy's at Euphemia's suggestion. They desperately wanted a child, but eventually gave up hope. Just when being parents seemed impossible and the couple came to accept that, Euphemia discovered she was pregnant. She had a beautiful little boy, who they named James. To spite his father, James liked to keep his hair untidy at all times.
A few decades later, James Potter earned himself detention and sat in alone in the same classroom, doodling on his transfiguration notes. But, instead of sketching logos for future business ventures, James was drawing his initials intertwining inside of a heart with the initials "L E". As scribbled, the old wooden door of the classroom opened behind him. James didn't bother to look up. He assumed it was Professor Flitwick.
"Have I served my time, warden?" James asked.
"No. But, you got a cell mate." A sweet but tired voice answered.
James looked up and saw Lily Evans walking down the aisle of desks towards the front of the classroom. She took a seat not far from his. James smiled. The first term of sixth year was nearly over and he was finally at a place in his relationship with Lily Evans where she wouldn't chose furthest seat possible. He could talk to her without being met with an eye roll or curse.
"What are you in for, Evans?"
"Evidently, it's rude to call one of the Slytherin prefects a 'slimey wanker', even it's true." Lily said.
James high-fived her. Lily smiled, not feeling an ounce of regret for her actions. "What about you?"
"I transfigured Sirius' shampoo into platinum blonde hair dye." James said, casually.
Lily burst out laughing.
"He didn't get too upset. It was the other boys who used the shampoo afterwards that complained to McGonagall. So, if you see a lot of blonde gits in the common room, you know why." James ruffled his hair subconsciously, but stopped when he realized Lily was looking at him.
"Trying to be the only brunette in Gryffindor Tower, Potter?" Lily smirked.
James raked his brain for a joke to reply with that wouldn't come across as egotistical. He made it a point this year to deflate his big head.
Lily took out her History of Magic textbook and turned to the chapter Professor Binns had assigned the class to read by Monday. James quickly flipped to a clean page in his notebook before Lily could peer over and see that he'd been doodling her initials like a lovesick little girl. James pretended to concentrate on his transfiguration notes, and stole glances at Lily as often as possible without giving himself away. He didn't need to study anyway, transfiguration was his best subject.
Lily dropped her quill on the ground and it rolled in James' direction.
"I got it." he said with a little too much enthusiasm. He picked up the quill and handed it to her.
"Thanks." She took the quill and went back to studying.
James tried to inconspicuously slide his chair closer to hers.
"I see you trying to be stealthy." Lily said.
"Ha, I wasn't trying to be stealthy." James lied. "If I didn't want you to see me you wouldn't have seen me. I'm the King of stealth. Stealth is my middle name."
Lily lowered her eyebrows and tilted her head in mock confusion. "Huh, stealth is an awfully strange way to pronounce Fleamont."
"Hey," James pointed a finger at her. "Fleas get a bad wrap. They're really noble creatures actually. John Donne wrote a poem called The Flea and sometimes muggles train fleas to do tricks and put a flea circus!"
Lily laughed again. She hated how he could always make her laugh uncontrollably. "I remember when you put fleas on Remus' sweater as a prank, yelled "FLEAMONT STRIKES AGAIN!" in the great hall, but then, since you share a dorm, the fleas got all over your clothes too!" Her laugh got louder. She used to be self-conscious about her laugh, but James liked it. It was dorky and endearing.
"Ok, not my best idea." James conceded.
"And do you think was you best idea?" Lily wondered.
"The hair dye prank." James proclaimed.
"Really?" Lily was surprised. "You've pulled off way more elaborate stuff than hair dye in a shampoo bottle."
"Yeah, but that's what got me sent here at the same time as you."
Lily blushed. She punched his arm and said, "Get back to studying, Potter."