Work Text:
It takes Noiz about five days to realize he’s in trouble. Deep trouble.
His current condition isn’t the source. True, he’s bandaged up tighter than a mummy and feeling every itch of the casts against his skin, every pinprick of the needles the doctors and nurses prod him with, and every shift of his hospital gown and the scratchy blankets on him. Sensations piling up on top of one another and each is interesting and new and wonderful for all of a day and a half before they’re just downright irritating, but right now he’s not paying attention to any of those things. Aoba’s laughing at him and it makes his brain fizzle in the strangest of ways.
It’s not any kind of quick chuckle but a bent double, stomach-clutching, tears-in-eyes peal of laughter. Noiz has never heard Aoba so unrestrainedly mirthful before now.
His entire body rings with the sound.
Aoba straightens up on his stool, gasping for air and wiping at the corner of his eyes.
“Th-that was the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard,” he manages to say.
Noiz can’t even remember what it is he told him. He’s silent for a second too long. Aoba’s humor dies down.
“Noiz?”
“Your laugh is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.” It’s a lie. The biggest lie he’s ever said to anyone, but he has to recover somehow and an asshole-ish remark is the first solution to pop into his head. There’s no way he’s going to ask Aoba what else makes him laugh like that. He wants to know, though. The information is strangely important to Noiz.
Aoba falls for the mean-spirited teasing easily. His eyebrow rises and he purses his lips.
“Nice comeback, brat. Did your grade school pals teach you that one?”
He decides to lay it on thick. “Don’t get mad at me. You’re the one who’s a snorter.”
“I don’t snort!” The absolutely affronted expression on Aoba’s face almost makes Noiz smile. “I don’t!” He repeats when Noiz simply looks at him. “I can hear myself laughing, idiot.”
“Not very well, apparently.”
“Go to hell!”
They end up trading barbs throughout the entirety of Aoba’s visiting hours. Noiz watches Aoba’s reactions carefully, noting the rises in his humor and which buttons to push until Aoba is exasperated and fuming and amused all at once. Noiz feeds off the energy generated by their silly, immature conversation like a starving man. By the time it winds down he’s completely buzzed off it. He’s sitting up ramrod straight in bed, amazed at how quickly the day’s passed, casting around for anything else that’ll delay their parting. But Aoba is swinging his Allmate’s bag over his shoulder as he stands, attention split between him and the dog.
“…for reminding me, Ren. Hopefully the store isn’t closed, yet. Noiz, if something feels strange or uncomfortable, you have to call a nurse in, alright? It could be serious.”
“Stop worrying.” Noiz crosses his arms the best he can. “I can last a night on my own.”
“I can’t help it! You’re still wincing a lot when you move. I want to make sure you’re okay.”
“Look, I’m not going to die before you come back tomorrow. Take it easy.”
Aoba's brow creases. “But I told you, didn’t I? I might not make it for tomorrow’s visiting hours. Wednesdays are my late days at work and Granny wants me to run a few errands.”
There’s another moment-too-long pause where every thought in Noiz’s head flat-lines in lieu of a suitable response. This time, he’s not entirely sure Aoba even notices.
“I’ll try my best to swing around in the afternoon.”
Noiz shrugs, his face schooled into nonchalance. “Whatever. If you can’t visit you can’t visit.”
“Sorry.” Aoba’s smile is truly apologetic. “Have a good night, Noiz.”
“See ya.” Noiz’s wave ends up looking like less of a farewell and more like a dismissal.
The door closes and Aoba is gone. Noiz sighs and settles into the mattress. He senses a sleepless night in store for him.
Time slows down to a crawl.
The days blend into one another as Noiz recovers. Just as Aoba promises, he tries his best to visit him even when his schedule is packed. He gives him snacks to counteract the bland hospital meals Noiz picks at, music playlists to fill the silence that surrounds him at night, and above all else gives him company. Noiz is quick to come to grips with the intensity of his craving for it, but there are times when it’s close to overwhelming.
Like the day he wakes up from a cozy afternoon nap and finds Aoba reclining on the cramped visitor’s sofa next to him, a magazine over his face and headphones over his ears. He’s snoring a bit, making the pages flutter with each breath. It’s especially bright in the room. Aoba must have pulled up the blinds and opened the window while Noiz slept. There’s a warm breeze pouring in, and everything is so peaceful and quiet Noiz can’t bring himself to wake Aoba. He just wants him close. He wants Aoba in his bed, he wants to try his luck at walking with his injured legs so he can join him on the sofa, he wants to do anything to erase the distance between them and fall back to sleep under the ease of Aoba’s proximity and touch. His insides twist themselves into painful knots with the need and he has to turn his head away to cool himself down.
Aoba eventually twitches to life, and instinct has Noiz shutting his eyes and going limp. With the swirl of longing thoughts riddling his mind he’s not sure he’d be able to look Aoba in the face, anyway.
He yawns. “Aw, he’s still not up?” There’s the squeak of shifting rubber cushions followed by the sound of footsteps.
“I won’t wake him.” Aoba’s close, now, his voice a whisper. “I'll come back tomorrow.”
Noiz almost opens his eyes at that.
Soon, he hears the door creak open. Then a little laugh.
“Kid’s cute when he’s asleep.”
The comment should have annoyed Noiz. It doesn’t.
“Hey…”
All of Noiz’s muscles go taught when Aoba grabs the top of his head, fingers slipping between the strands of his hair as he brings their faces close.
And it’s ridiculous, the most ridiculous thing in the world that Noiz finds it difficult to breathe. They’ve been even closer than this. He’s kissed Aoba before, why is this so —
His thoughts crash into one another. He has kissed Aoba before, hasn’t he? That night in Glitter feels like it happened a million years ago to Noiz, but the sensation of Aoba’s tongue sliding against his — recalled with pinpoint accuracy over the chaos of the rest of his mind — sends electricity crawling across his skin.
He wants to kiss Aoba again. Again, and again, and again.
“You have freckles, Noiz!” Aoba is smiling. The rational part of Noiz’s brain notes that Aoba is probably attempting to rile him up.
For once, his efforts work.
Face hot, Noiz slides his bandaged fingers under Aoba’s wrist and pushes his hand away. Aoba is quick to let go of his head and Noiz’s lungs are able to take in air again.
“What does it matter that I have them?”
“They almost make you look innocent,” he says with an obnoxious grin. “It’s adorable.”
“Shut up. Freckles don’t mean anything.” Noiz’s thoughts are the furthest thing from innocent. He has to dig his fingers tight into the mattress to keep himself from grabbing Aoba by the front of his shirt and fitting their lips together.
“Is something wrong with your mouth?”
The sudden concern catches Noiz off-guard. “What?”
“You keep biting it…”
“Oh.” He glances away. “It’s itchy.”
“Geez, don’t bite down that hard! Are you trying to eat it off your face? Rub it with your hand.”
Noiz is tempted to tell Aoba he’d much rather rub it against Aoba’s mouth. He opts to silently follow Aoba’s suggestion, instead, and immediately regrets it. The light stimulation from his fingers has his lips throbbing hard enough to make him consider begging for mercy.
“Better?”
“…Yeah.”
The night is another restless one for him. He sleeps in fits and starts, waking up to cold sweat and a racing pulse.
Nearly two weeks have passed since his admittance to the hospital. Noiz is desperate now. Aoba’s been touching him in a lot of little ways, such as readjusting one of his numerous bandages or helping him wipe crumbs of food from his face. There’s always some layer separating their skin, but the contact is enough that Noiz is constantly torn between flinching out of Aoba’s reach and pitching forward to force more of Aoba’s hand against him.
His nerves are frayed past endurance. He can barely stand to look at Aoba, but at the same time he’s coming up with shameless excuses to keep him in his room past visiting hours. The tiniest, most innocuous things are often enough to get a reaction out of him. Earlier that day Aoba scooted his stool as close to Noiz’s bed as possible so that they could watch something on one of their Coils. Noiz kept a straight face, but his neck and ears roared with heat. He can barely recall what video they were watching. The warm press of Aoba’s arm against his thigh as he leaned in took up far too much of his interest.
That same night he decides enough is enough. He can’t take it anymore. It’s a wonder none of his suffering has shown. Either that, or Aoba has an alarmingly dense side to him. Noiz figures it’s probably a bit of both. It sticks him in a loop of frustration with only one foreseeable way out.
He’s going to have to be upfront. Tomorrow. Tomorrow he’ll say what he has to say to Aoba.
But first: a meeting.
“Noiz! Standing by for instructions!”
“Standing by!”
“Standing by!”
Noiz stares at his floating horde of Allmates, wondering why he thought it would be a good idea to wake up all of the bunnies at once. He wants a second opinion, not over a dozen of them.
“I need to get my thoughts in order,” he begins quietly.
“P! Loading audio recording program, awaiting voice input!”
“Unnecessary. I just…have to say this out loud to someone, I guess.”
“Canceling audio recording program. What would Noiz like to say?”
“Tell us!”
“We’re listening!”
“We’ll help in any way we can!”
Noiz looks down at his hands. This isn’t a simple matter of wanting Aoba physically. If that were the case he would have long since asked for that. It ran so much deeper than Noiz first anticipated. Such depth is what kept him bottled up until now.
“I like Aoba,” he tells his Allmates. “I like him a lot. He’s been doing so much for me ever since I met him. How can I not like the guy the way I do?”
It feels good to say these words aloud. A wonderful sense of relief washes over him. He’s finally a little calmer.
“We know, Noiz!”
“We’ve already made the necessary adjustments to our data on your personal preferences.”
“Aoba’s at the top of the list! The very top!”
Noiz smiles slightly. “Yeah. He would be.”
“Status report: Our thought circuits are operating at maximum capacity!”
“Noiz is uncertain! That’s very unlike Noiz!”
“I like Aoba,” he repeats. The concept cements itself inside of him. “To the point where I’m pretty sure I…”
“P?”
Noiz decides to skip the word teetering on the tip of his tongue. It’s dangerous, it’s frightening, and it’s a little too soon to confirm out loud even for him. “Forget about it. I haven’t said anything to him yet because I think I'm asking for too much from him. I want Aoba to like me back the same way. I want that so badly. And it bothers me. He’s given me everything I ever wanted. He pulled me out of that dark room. He gave me pain. He wants to teach me even more about the world. It should be enough that he’s gone as far as he already has for me.” He sighs. “But it isn’t.”
His Allmates are silent. He looks up and discovers that they’re not looking at him, but at each other. They’re the robot version of confused, and it’s the most lifelike they’ve ever acted. It seems he’s not the only one who underwent a metamorphosis in the past couple of weeks.
“Noiz,” says the leader as they turn to him, “as your Allmates we are programmed to act and advise in ways that ensures our master’s happiness and wellbeing!”
“We don’t understand human emotions and interactions very well, yet, but…”
“We think that if Aoba liking you back will make you happy…”
“You should ask him if he does! It’s a simple solution, very simple!”
“You say Aoba has given you a lot, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t willing to give you more!”
Hope rushes through him at his Allmates’ words. “Maybe so. Stranger things have happened.”
“It’s not strange at all. In fact, the probability is in your favor!”
“Our scanners don’t work well on others, but according to our observations Aoba’s mood always improves when he visits you.”
“He’s happy with you, too! Super happy!”
Noiz trusts the accuracy of his Allmates. The idea that he can make Aoba happy just by being around is enough to banish the last of his hesitation. “That settles it, then. I’ll talk to him tomorrow and get everything sorted out.”
“P! Go, Noiz, go!”
“You can do it!”
“We believe in you!”
“I think I’ll start slow,” he says, speaking more to himself than to the Usagimodoki. “Maybe ask if I can touch him. Really touch him. If he says no, I…I’ll still think of him. I’ll keep that promise no matter what, but…”
He settles back into bed, exhilaration pumping energy through his veins. He's not going to get a wink of sleep tonight. “I can’t even imagine how amazing it’ll be from now on if he says yes.”
Aoba stands outside of Noiz’s door. He places his hand on it but doesn’t knock.
Considering all that happened yesterday, it’s extremely idiotic he’s nervous now. But here he is, completely unsure how to act once he enters the room.
“Aoba?” Ren sticks his head out of his bag. “Are you alright? Your emotional reading is somewhat unstable.”
“Can you blame me?” Aoba mutters, curling his hand into a fist. He still doesn’t knock. “I haven’t dated anyone in years. Are he and I even dating? Is it too soon to call it that? I have no idea what I’m doing and — ”
“Hey.” Noiz’s muffled drawl cuts him off. “Are you going to come in or not?”
“Hold on a second!” Aoba takes a deep breath and opens the door. Noiz is sitting in bed, hands folded over his stomach. He looks as unperturbed as ever.
“Yo,” he says.
“Hello.” Aoba closes the door behind him, but he doesn’t move away from it. He has one hand on the knob, fingers twisting the lock shut. Better safe than sorry.
“How are you holding up?”
Something in Noiz’s tone has Aoba narrowing his eyes. “What exactly do you mean by that?”
“I’d feel bad if you had trouble walking this morning.”
“You say you’d feel bad but somehow I don't believe you, you smug asshole,” Aoba snaps, but the tension inside him breaks and he lets out a reluctant laugh.
“Do plan on standing by the door the entire time you’re here?”
“Of course I don’t.” Aoba goes to his usual seat on the stool, shedding his jacket and putting it and Ren’s bag on the sofa behind him.
“Not there.”
“Hm?”
Noiz is scooting over in his bed until he’s pressed against its side rail. He pulls back the covers and pats the empty space he created.
“Lie here.”
Aoba blushes like mad. “Won’t that be uncomfortable for you? There’s not a lot of room.”
Noiz raises an eyebrow. “If we can fuck on this bed, we can lie on it together.”
“Did you really have to say it like that?!” Aoba grits his teeth, but he bends down and removes his boots.
After all, Noiz makes a very good point.
He slips into Noiz’s bed as carefully as he can, making sure not to jostle him any more than necessary. Noiz shifts closer as soon as Aoba’s under the covers, nuzzling their lips together in a brief, fond kiss.
“Welcome back,” he says, voice low.
“Did you sleep well?” asks Aoba.
“Better than I have been, yeah.”
Aoba turns on his side, putting his arm around Noiz’s waist. Warmth cocoons over the two of them. It’s lulling and gentle, and the smile on Noiz’s face makes Aoba’s heart unsteady. He has a great smile, one that Aoba hopes to see more often in the coming days.
“I have no idea what I’m doing, either,” says Noiz, and it takes Aoba a second to realize that he overheard the conversation between him and Ren, “but I do know I want us to be together.”
“I’m glad we’re in the same boat, at least.” Aoba wraps his arm tighter around Noiz. In response, Noiz tucks some of Aoba’s hair behind his ear. He no longer has much feeling in it, but the touch still makes him shiver. For the first time ever, the sensation is a good one.
Noiz kisses his forehead and snuggles into him as well as he can with most of his limbs in casts.
“I don’t know where this is all heading,” Aoba says, resting his head on Noiz’s shoulder, “but I’d like to find out with you.”
“We can work out the details as we go along.” Under the sheets, Noiz strokes Aoba’s arm. “Discover more fun stuff to add to our challenge list. Things like that.”
Aoba lifts his head up. “Are you serious right now?” he asks, voice flat.
Noiz’s grin is devious. “Do I look like I’m joking?”
“And you say I’m the one who can’t set the right mood, you little pervert?”
Noiz laughs, and while it’s one of the most wonderful sounds Aoba’s ever heard, he still cuts it off with a firm kiss. He’s not exactly annoyed, though, not when Noiz is smiling so sweetly against his lips. He can’t help but smile, too.