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This was never her idea. Her strained relationship with Taako was a source of pain in her life, certainly, but she had accepted this as a product of what she did, what she needed to do. As much as she would love to make amends, to have her brother back, she respected Taako’s decision to forget her. It was only fair.
Magnus disagreed. He was disappointed in Taako for refusing to repair, or even acknowledge, the rift in the family caused by their strained relationship. He was disappointed in Lucretia for being so complacent. He couldn’t believe that two members of his family that had been so close for so long could live contently with this animosity between them. It’d been long enough, and Magnus wasn’t going to stand for it anymore. He wanted his family back.
He invited Taako to dinner, bragging about how his cooking skills had improved and telling him that the dogs missed him. He neglected to mention that Lucretia was going to be there, and that Magnus would be out of town for the night.
Her stomach was in knots hours before Taako was expected to arrive, and as she heard the door beginning to open, it felt as though all of her internal organs were rioting within her. She didn’t want to have this conversation at all, but she couldn’t stop herself from hoping that it went well. She did miss him.
The door swung open, Taako’s eyes met with Lucretia’s, and they both froze. His desire to turn heel and run was palpable and did not go unnoticed by Lucretia. She decided to break the silence before he got the chance to leave.
“Hello, Taako.”
“Lucretia.”
His usual lively and singsong voice was noticeably absent. Her name was spat from his lips more than it was spoken. The cautious optimism that was previously lingering in Lucretia’s mind was quickly stamped out by the utterance.
She opened her mouth to speak, but his words came first, loud and quick.
“Where the fuck is Magnus?” he demanded, putting his hands on his hips and looking back towards the door.
“He… He stepped out, briefly, to retrieve some wood for the fireplace. He should return shortly.” A lie. Magnus was two towns away, visiting Carey and Killian. Lucretia didn’t think Taako would be staying long enough to find out if it were true, anyways.
“Cool, cool. I’ll be waiting outside for him, then,” his normal cadence was back, an attempt to act as if nothing was wrong.
As Taako turned towards the door again, Lucretia found herself saying his name. “Taako… please.”
Please stay. Please talk to me. Please fix this with me.
“Save it,” Taako answered with vitriol, not even turning to face the woman we was speaking to. “I didn’t come here for you. He said you weren’t here.”
“He.. wanted me to talk to you.” Lucretia’s voice was quiet and she spoke slowly, testing the waters. She didn’t know what Taako was like nowadays. She didn’t know him at all anymore.
He stopped. His hands rose to bury his face in. “Fucking fine. I’ve heard enough about this from them. Fuck it,” Taako said, more to himself than to Lucretia. He turned and walked past her briskly, taking a seat at the dining table a few feet away from the doorway. “You wanna talk? Alright, Lucy. Come here and fucking talk to me.”
She sat in the seat furthest from where Taako was and rested her folded hands on the table, not knowing where to go from here. After a few moments of silence, she spoke. “How… how have you been, Taako?”
“Fucking great actually. I have a sweet, kickass fiancé, a sweet, kickass career and my sweet, kickass sister is here to enjoy all of these things with me,” Taako said, his sarcastic tone withstanding. He paused briefly before adding, “No thanks to you.”
Lucretia sighed quietly, electing to ignore his obvious passive aggression. “I am glad to hear it,” she said with as much warmth as she could muster. She meant it. He deserved to be happy, and Lucretia was glad he had found that peace.
“How are you? Wait, nah. How’s Magnus?” Taako’s words were syrupy and dripping with an inflection that suggested an ulterior motive.
“He’s good. We… we’re good,” she replied, beginning to feel defensive.
“Ah, yes, ‘we’re good,’ of course. It’s ‘we’ now, isn’t it.” He leaned forward, now looking directly at Lucretia, smirking.
“I was under the impression that you knew this,” she said, meeting his stare with one of her own. “Do you not approve?”
“Of course I don’t. Magnus is an idiot. You’re just a replacement,” Taako spat, his confident demeanor wavering ever so slightly.
“I…” Lucretia began, but he cut her off.
“You can stay here and play house all you want, but don’t for a moment believe that you’re anything but Magnus’s new charity project. He loves to feel like the most caring and heroic man in the world. He pities you, and it makes him feel good to help pitiful people. He doesn’t love you.”
Lucretia said nothing. She broke eye contact with Taako, looking down at her hands.
“You fucked up, Lucy. You wiped our fucking memories and sent us along to find new lives. And we did. He found someone he loved, and it wasn’t you.”
“Ta-”
“I’m not done talking. You forced a decade of misery on me. I spent like 12 fucking years not looking for my missing sister because I didn’t know I had one. You sent me off with a fucking stagecoach and hoped for the best. I went through hell because of you.” His voice was shaking. Tears began to form in the corners of his eyes, threatening to fall down his cheeks.
“You were my fucking sister, too. I want to forgive you. I do. I wish every fucking day that I could just forget what you did to me and let everything go back to normal. You don’t deserve it, but I do.” Taako saw Lucretia open her mouth to speak, but continued. “When I see your face, that moment comes flooding back. The things you took from me come flooding back. And I can’t pretend I don’t hate you.”
Every word he spoke felt like a fresh wound. They were both desperately fighting back tears, neither one willing to be the first to break down. The silence was deafening and Lucretia was stricken with the thought that this entire thing was a mistake. Speaking to him and hearing those words had only made things worse.
“I’m sorry,” Lucretia managed to choke out before her efforts to keep it together finally failed. Her tears fell and she buried her face into her hands, leaning onto the table in front of her. Sobbing. She hadn’t allowed herself to cry in months. A buildup of emotions all came flooding out at once.
They sat in silence for a few minutes, the only sounds echoing through the house being quiet sobs and the dogs barking outside.
Taako composed himself and sighed. “I’m sorry too. But I can’t forgive you. Not yet. Maybe never. I don’t fucking know and I’m not in the mood to think about it. I’m gonna go.” He stood up, wiped his eyes and walked towards the exit, pausing in the doorway briefly.
“I love you, Taako. I always will. I’m sorry.” Lucretia began to stand up to walk towards him, but he had already left, the door slamming behind him just as she reached it. He was gone.
Lucretia stood there for a while, lost in her own thoughts. It wasn’t forgiveness. It wasn’t even closure, but it was something. That was good enough for now.