Chapter Text
"Mama? Why do I have to hate the devil?" a six-year-old Yoongi whispered looking up into a pair of eyes almost identical to his. They were downstairs in the basement, where Yoongi had yet again been punished to stay. It was almost every day now that the scary lady would lock him down there, but he didn't mind. Darkness had always been a place of comfort, strangely warm in some sense. His mother would be there too, more often than not, whispering encouraging words to him while her hands played with his soft hair.
His mother hummed, her hands stopping briefly as she thought of an answer. Looking down at him she smiled before deciding to tell him the truth. It would be the last time she would talk to him, as he was going to turn seven the next day. It was times like this that made her hate the rules that came with being what she was, but rules were how heaven worked... it was how everything worked.
"Dear, never hate anyone because someone else tells you too. The devil... do you think he is bad?" It wasn't a question to ask a child so young but then again, Yoongi wasn't just a normal child. He hasn't been so for a while now if what she feels is right.
"Ms. Lin says he is. She says that if I don't hate him, God will make me suffer." It took all she had not to go up there and give the women a piece of her mind. Unfortunately, even if she did so, it would be useless... no one would be able to see her, especially someone with a soul as rotten as the women's.
"What do you think?" She whispered feeling a presence like no other, there, with them. It was a presence she knew all too well. She wasn't surprised, as it was a matter of time before he came, she knew. Yoongi was as much of a blessing as he was a curse to the other, of course, his body would be burning until he saw the kid who would one day be his wings and soul.
"Mama I think... I think he is in pain." the words made her turn to look at her son yet again. That was not something she had expected to hear from him, especially not while he was this young. If the connection was this strong between them so soon, she couldn't imagine how the other man was feeling now, having to hide in the shadows. "But... why is he evil?" he whispered as if the word itself would bring pain with it.
Perhaps she should be quit and let him believe just that. It would be easier for her son if she could keep him away from the other. She knew Jungkook wouldn't stop protecting him even if Yoongi hated his guts but somehow even the thought made her stomach twist. She had already done him harm for a lifetime so with that in mind she uttered the next words carefully.
"If I tell you the story will you promise to be a good boy afterward and let me leave?" She didn't have much time left, the clock was ticking. In about 10 minutes her son's birthday would come... 10 more minutes before she had to say goodbye. It hurt, she loved the boy so much. She regrets ... so much.
Despite the circumstances she smiled down at her baby boy, taking a deep breath and preparing herself when she saw him weakly nod even though his hands tightened around her.
"He was the favorite son, just like you are to me, baby. God loved him so much as he was the perfect angel. Sadly... perhaps Lucifer was too perfect... too pure." she chuckled at her words. the irony- "While other angels focused on only the good, he was... different. He would stare down every day, and he would worry about all humans. In his eyes they were precious and yet many of them weren't being accepted up to the skies." She remembers it clearly. The dirtied have no place in the land of light they would say everytime they saw another person fall. Back then hell didn't exist, no they didnt even have anywhere to go. "Without a purpose and without a home- they would slowly turn into something dark... unwanted and alone" as she said those words she felt the tension rise in the room.
She knew the only other being there in the room beside her and her son was remembering it all. He had probably tried to repress it, after all, he wasn't exactly treated fairly anywhere. Turning back and looking at the shadow of him she sighted before shaking her head. He had yet to show his face to her, after what had happened he had disappeared, leaving her there. She remembers that day well... it was the day she started thinking of heaven more like a prison than a home and yet she couldn't leave it.
"Like me mama?" the boy spoke and her eyes widened. Those words hurt like a sword piercing her very heart.
"Oh, baby." she knew her sons' life would be a spiral at the most but for him to feel alone and unwanted at only seven, it hurt. Looking away from her son's eyes she continued the story knowing she had no right to comfort him. It was all her fault anyway... if she had just been a little bit stronger, a little less selfish- "One day, as the angels gathered around, it was just one missing, Lucifer. Although he was the favorite son he was also the one that people seemed to pay less attention too, in a way. It was hard for him to be heard. He had to sit there every day and look down at what all of them were supposed to protect. That day though... there was something different about him. Now that I think about it, something of that sort was to be expected. That fated day he saved the soul of a little girl. She was a fragile thing but she had grown up badly. Although she had done it all to survive, one who sins, can't come to heaven."
The poor girl had stayed down on earth for so long that she had become a lost soul. Yoongi's mother remembers her, and she remembers when Lucifer saved her too. How selfless he was... a real angel.
"He hurried to her and took all the sins away, something that is a sacrilege of his kind. A tainted angel is not an angel anymore." She remembers when he came back too, how he ran to her scared, one of his feathers having turned dark grey. She had helped then, trying her hardest to get rid of the thing and after they had reached their goal she had made Lucifer promise to not do such a thing ever again... how naïve she had been. Lucifer was never one to ignore someone in need... his heart had always been too big... even for an angel.
"That girl- the next day she ended up in heaven, pure and happy. Ah how pretty her smile had been... she had been saved. Unfortunately having found out he could save them, Lucifer did so again and again, person after person. It was wrong and so it didnt take long before he was found out. After all, he didnt exactly hide it" Quite the contrary, he was very vocal about it. He had called on them one after the other begging for everyone to open their eyes to the pain they were causing by staying away. They could save them all but why would they? She guesses even angels are selfish.
"Mama, why was it wrong? Angels are good. They save you... you saved me right?" The words made her want to scoff. She hadn't saved him, if she had, he wouldn't be here now, but how could she say that to her baby. If he knew the truth... she had condemned him because she chose herself. Selfish
Forcing herself to nod she continued noticing she only had 4 minutes left.
"Nothing can exist without rules dear, and he was breaking the highest rules there are... those of his father. When God found out he was furious, "pained" he called it in front of the others. He went to Lucifer and told him to stop but the boy wouldn't back down. So he was given the choice... heaven or humans. Lucifer...he chose the later. As soon as the words were said his wings turned black...heavy... he fell" It was a traumatic sight and an even more painful conclusion. He was his favorite and yet he was thrown like trash for being too good... for being too much of an angel.
She had seen him struggle for a long time afterward. The solid wings... each feather so delicately placed belonged to a sin he had taken from humans. Creatures that when had seen him, had called him a monster and stalked him away. She wonders about how hurt he must have been, he fought for them and they too threw him aside. "Shunned by all he still continued to save them, creating a world where the souls of the unwanted could finally live... a home." This was it... this was their goodbye. She would never see her boy again. Looking down she noticed he had fallen asleep cutely wrapping himself around her as if to never let her go. Pulling her hands away from his hair she kissed his forehead before getting up to leave him. "Happy birthday, baby." Be Happy and choose you.
This time she turned around towards the man in the shadows missing her old friend. "Take care of him. I can't come back anymore. He is your responsibility now." Her words felt cold but they both knew the hidden meaning. They were forbidden to ever interact, although she still cared. She always would. "Jungkook, please for once don't give up on yourself and don't give up on him. I'm sorry for having you save me again..."
Her white wings opened and in the blink of an eye, she was gone leaving the two alone. As a lone tear slipped from his eyes, Jungkook took her place near the boy and threw his jacket around his small body. Who knew, that his last chance would be a frail human, the same kind of creature who became the cause of his falling from grace. Jungkook is scared. No matter what he had done, he never truly changed much. Souls were still suffering separated because of some stupid rules. He wonders why his father gave humans free will if he only intended for them to suffer for their choices even after death. How monstrous and yet he is branded as evil.
This child was no choice of his father. Yoongi was an unforeseen equation capable of ruining everything. Closing his eyes Jungkook knew that the only thing he could do was protect the boy and his future. soulmate
"Ah, Min Yoongi, what will you grow up to be for me?"