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Jake tried to remain upbeat and optimistic most of the time. He really did. Life could throw all the shit at you it wanted, but a smile was sometimes the best defense for keeping it at bay. And it wasn’t like Jake was normally a downer to begin with and had to fight against it. He was naturally peppy and excited about most everything he encountered.
It was just… really hard to get excited about spending Christmas alone.
He and his sister had spent the holidays together for years. It wasn’t like they had anyone else. Except that now Jess did and had been invited by her boyfriend to spend the holidays with his family. She’d been hesitant about leaving Jake alone, too, but he’d insisted. He didn’t want to feel like he was holding her back. She deserved all the happiness in the world. He told her he’d just spend the holidays with some friends. Things just… hadn’t worked out that way.
So now it was Christmas Eve and Jake was alone, housesitting for the sister he was missing so dearly, and feeling just the teensiest, tiniest bit bitter about the holiday season this year. His mood was not at all brightened by the carolers making their way around the street.
He’d spotted them earlier, going down the other side, and knew it was only a matter of time before they came back up the street again. The longer he thought about it and stewed in it, the more upset he got. Who needed Christmas cheer, anyway? All the shitty-ness filling up the world didn’t go away just because of some dumb holiday. By the time he heard them singing for the next-door neighbors, Jake was seeing red.
He pulled on his coat as he stepped out the back door, not bothering with shoes since they weren’t on his way. The snow that covered the ground was freezing, but Jake didn’t let that stop him. He’d be back inside the warmth soon enough. Just as soon as he convinced those carolers that it’d be better for them to move along to a different neighborhood. He scooped up a fistful of snow as he rounded the house, packing it into a tight ball and moving to crouch behind a bush. There was enough snow around him to easily source additional ammunition. He set about shaping as many snowballs as he could as he listened to the carolers wrap up at the neighbor’s house and start making their way over.
They sounded so happy; it twisted Jake’s gut to hear. It reminded him of all the Christmases he and Jess had spent sounding that happy, how silent the house was without her.
He swore to himself that the stinging of his eyes was just the wind and the cold.
As the carolers trudged up the front path to Jess’s door, Jake risked peeking out at them. They were obviously a family, the mom with one arm hugging the younger boy, who was still probably about the same age as Jake, and the other around the teenage girl. The dad and the older son trailed behind them, seeming content to watch over their family from behind. As they climbed the front steps, the younger boy said something to make the mother burst into laughter. The older boy turned away slightly, hand coming up to cover a smile.
He was gorgeous.
His rich caramel complexion was clearly thanks to his Hispanic heritage, but it made him look warm to the touch. His long, black hair was tied back, but Jake just wanted to run his fingers through it. It looked so soft. Even his eyes looked warm, crinkled at the edges with laughter but visible even under the brim of his cowboy hat. (Jake kind of wanted to pour hot cocoa all over his body and lick it off.)
As a group, though, their happiness permeated the air. They were so full of excitement and love and cheer. It made Jake feel guilty for even considering trying to ruin that for them. Just because he was having a shitty Christmas, that didn’t mean anyone else should have to suffer with him.
He drew back from the bush as the mom rang the doorbell. He just needed to sneak back in the rear door and wait for them to leave. Plenty of people went elsewhere for the holidays. They wouldn’t even have to know he was there at all. They’d just… assume whoever lived there was out.
Of course, that plan probably would have worked out a lot better if he didn’t trip over his own feet and fall on his face with a pained shout.
“What was that?”
Oh, nothing, only the sound of his pride being irrevocably wounded in the path of his inevitable doom. Please pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.
-
Later that night, crammed onto the Alvarez sofa with a plate of food, a blanket wrapped around his shoulders, and Carlos sitting beside him, Jake thought that maybe this Christmas didn’t turn out so bad after all. It probably helped that Carlos was every bit as warm as he’d looked.