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“Ooph! Sorry!” Peter started apologizing before he’d even turned all the way around.
This party was insane. Peter didn’t even know half the people there, much less how Ned had found out about it. Whoever’s house this was, it was getting absolutely trashed. Peter was just trying to stay out of the way, which made it all the more embarrassing to have bumped into someone.
“Well, just cue the meet-cute, why don’t you?” the stranger said. “And you are a cutie!”
Peter stared. The other guy was probably about his age. Maybe? It was hard to tell with the Santa suit and the burns covering his entire face.
“Um, thanks?”
The guy’s grin looked a little manic, but Peter figured that might have something to do with the red solo cup clutched in his hand.
“Guess we should probably kiss now, huh? Not that I’m exactly a stickler for tradition, but in this case, I don’t mind.”
“W-what?”
The guy pointed up at the mistletoe above their heads, grin only growing wider.
“I know I’m not exactly a Ryan Reynolds,” he commented, making a vague gesture toward his face, “but you bumped into me, so…”
He swooped in to give Peter a peck on the lips before he could even react, there and gone again in an instant. Peter could feel the cheery red flooding his cheeks.
“I-I’m Peter,” he stammered out, for a lack of anything better to say.
He blushed even brighter realizing how much of an idiot he sounded like. He was so glad Ned had disappeared off somewhere and wasn’t around to witness his embarrassment. The guy just went right on grinning.
“I knew I recognized you! Repeat characters are always more popular than just filler fluff. Parker, right?”
“Ummm, yes?”
He was really starting to wonder if he was about to wind up tied up in the trunk of a stranger’s car. Mr. Stark would be so mad…
“It’s been years! I’m Wade! Wade Wilson! I used to tie your shoelaces together back in third grade? And then there was that time I put peanut butter in your seat and told everybody you shit your pants!”
There was a moment’s pause where Peter’s brain refused to function and then his fist slammed into Wade’s stupid grin. He didn’t even wait for him to hit the ground, just turned on his heel to storm away.
“Baby, no! Don’t be like that!” came the call after him. “We’re meant to be together! Destined! All the fangirls ship us! Petey-pie!”
Peter was never going to a party with Ned again.