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Steve was innocently attempting to cook pancakes with a hangover when there had been knocking at his back door. His hair was a mess as he’d only woken up moments earlier and there were black sunglasses perched loosely on his nose to combat the bright light of day from the windows in his kitchen. It was nearing midday and he just wanted to eat something before his stomach collapsed in on itself. He didn’t know why that meant Nancy Wheeler, back from college for the summer, had to barge in and start questioning his babysitting skills.
He was under no illusion that he was perfect at it, of course, but there was a reason Ms Byers and Hopper entrusted him with looking after the kids if they needed an extra eye on them. He was good at looking out for them without letting them know they were being watched and he’d proved the lengths he would go to keep the little idiots safe. He cared about them, a lot, as more than just a distraction from the rest of life’s bullshit. Plus, he kind of considered himself an honorary member of the party after his stint as guest Dungeon Master when Mike went on that week long vacation.
They didn’t even need to be kept safe much nowadays, really. They were fine, they’d been fine for a while but that paranoia about all of the awful shit coming back never really went away. It just manifested in smaller doses, it got easier to manage day by day.
None of that explained why Nancy had her hands on her hips, having just said something that earned a look of half mocking shock from Steve, turning to look at her as the pan sizzled in front of him. “Excuse me, but I am incredibly maternal.”
“Paternal.” She corrected quickly.
“Does it matter, Nancy?” He asked, tapping the stove top with his spatula and speaking with a slightly accusatory tone.
“I mean, yes?” Nancy replied, her nose scrunching up in confusion.
“Anyway, I recognise that maybe it wasn’t the best advice I could have given him, but…”
“But..” She continued to prompt. “Steve, he said you told him that love was worthless and to quit while he was ahead.”
So yes, he was guilty of those words but he’d only said them after spending at least half of his day off trying to figure out if he should call Nancy. Or just go see her. Or go see Jonathan. He’d never been the type to feel so much anguish or angst over something like seeing his friends again and yet he’d made himself feel like a dramatic idiot. Getting drunk seemed like the solution and it definitely wasn’t when all of his little buddies showed up to crowd around his pool. The only responsible thing he’d done that day was not allow any of the kids to sneak a sip, though he was sure at least one had managed it when he wasn’t looking.
His shoulders fell as he thought about it momently, but he responded defensively a second later. “Hey, if a bunch of toddlers wander into my backyard while I’m trying to get drunk off my parent’s wine on my day off, I’m not responsible for what I say when they ask me for life advice.”
Safe to say Nancy wasn’t impressed with that retort. “You just claimed to be maternal.”
“I didn’t necessarily say I was good at it...” Steve turned away again, finally flipping his pancake.
She was staring at him, hands on her hips. He was very good at it ignoring her judgement now that they were just friends. He had taught himself to care less about her approval and it’d kinda worked. Sort of.
“I distinctly remember you claiming to be a good babysitter, actually. Thank God that Mike is smart enough to know that whatever he and El… have doesn’t require all that over thinking but it just… it—” Her she lost her momentum, clearly frustrated with their current interaction. Steve just lifted his sunglasses and blinked at her.
He took another moment before he sighed and allowed himself to be genuine with her. The sunglasses moved to the top of his head and remained there for the moment as he squinted and made himself get used to the light. It wasn’t so bad, really. “Look, I’m sorry, okay? I was having an off day, I didn’t expect the little tykes to just show up, it’s like they forget they have a whole neighbourhood to not bother me in.”
“If you don’t want them to come by—” She started but he interrupted quickly.
“That’s not what I’m saying. Those little shits are welcome any time and they god damn know it. Don’t you tell them otherwise.”
“ Steve .” She said, exasperated but there was a hint of a smile. He could see it even if she fought it and he knew she wasn’t really mad already, but that hint still made him want to grin and get hers to match hers by any means necessary
Instead of doing that, he quickly reminded himself of what things were now, of how he felt. He took it seriously once more. “I’ll do better, okay? I get that you’re not impressed with me right now.”
Nancy’s expression softened at that and she took a step towards him, eyes on the floor. “That’s far from the truth. This incident isn’t exactly ideal but… you’re actually really excellent with them, usually. It’s comforting to know you’re there for them, because obviously Mike doesn’t exactly like talking to his sister about stuff, and...” She smiled, her gaze blinking to him. “This is coming mostly from a place of concern.”
“I’m fine, Nance.” He told her, not liking the new direction their conversation was taking.
Unsurprisingly, she wasn’t fooled. “Oh, that’s a bullshit answer and you know it.”
Steve almost winced at the word choice, smiling in spite of himself. It was automatic, to brush off any worry. “Okay, fine. I like my job, I kinda feel like I’m doing the right thing and... I don’t feel like I’m gonna be relying on my parents forever, so that’s always a bonus. There’s a girl that comes by every now and then to drop stuff off at the station, she’s pretty cute, y’know and she keeps giving me this look...”
“Oh?”
He wore a sly smile as he spoke. “No, I made that up. There’s no girl. It’s still a good job though, Hopper’s apparently a much better chief despite the whole raising a teenager thing.”
She shook her head, but he noticed the chuckle. “Fair enough.”
A topic change seemed like a good idea, so he picked the first thing that came to mind. “How’s Jonathan?”
“He’s Jonathan.” She smiled and Steve did too, because at this point it wasn’t out of obligation, it just happened. “Keeps wondering when you’re gonna stop being too busy for us.”
She knew what she was doing, phrasing it like that, walking over to the counter so she could lean on it now as they spoke casually, catching up on things they’d both missed. She knew somehow that it was easier to make him feel bad with the mention of the person who wasn’t there, who didn’t have many friends outside of them or hey, maybe he did now, in college. Before Nancy and Jonathan had left they’d been quite the little trio, even if Steve kind of tortured himself to manage doing it. He did genuinely like hanging with both of them, it just so happened that it was difficult when you were hanging out with your ex-girlfriend and her boyfriend. Especially when he didn’t even really understand his own feelings.
“So that’s your secret agenda, huh, Nancy Wheeler? Making me hang out with you guys?” He accused, holding his spatula after flipping the last of his pancakes.
“Maybe a little.” She replied, her expression something cheeky. “Maybe next time he can come in instead of waiting in the car?”
“Are you telling me you have him sitting out there by himself, reading some pretentious book or something? Jeez, Wheeler.”
His pancakes were done and he turned the heat off but he was more focused on Nancy and the mention of her boyfriend waiting in the car like he didn’t know if he could come in. At this rate he’d be giving everyone lessons on confidence.
Nancy laughed. “Hey, shut up. He likes his pretentious books.”
“Go get him.” He told her sincerely, making his way over to the table. Suddenly he knew that was what he wanted, to see both of them at least once before he went back to avoiding it. He knew it would only make things worse for him, but he’d never been all that good at resisting.
She nodded and turned away, going to do just that. “Okay.”
Nancy came bearing more gifts than just Jonathan Steve held back some comment about how the scene looked like a reverse Snow White and seven dwarves, considering that she was the tiny one in this case. She was flanked by not only Jonathan but the entire squad of gremlins. As much as he complained, though, he couldn’t help but be a little happy to see them too.
“God, do you guys have homes?” He questioned, eyeing up the kids who looked more than comfortable, likely waiting for the go ahead to do whatever they pleased..
“We were just riding past.” Max chirped up, rolling her eyes at him. It only managed to make his smile grow larger.
Jonathan finished the explanation, looking to his girlfriend as she narrowed her eyes, always pretending to be unamused by his antics. “They saw me in the car and asked what I was doing, then Nancy came out and…”
“I see.” Steve replied, eyebrows raising as he chuckled under his breath. Dustin bounded forward to the front of the group, spying his pancakes and looking excited. Steve slapped his hand away when he got too close. “Hey, dirty hands off my pancakes. Do you even clean under your nails?”
Dustin made a face at him. “ Yes .”
“I beg to differ after what I just saw.” He said, pointing with his fork after taking a mouthful.
He spied the lot of them eyeing his food as he chewed and that was when Steve knew he wasn’t going to get away with eating his stack of pancakes all by himself. Pushing his chair back so it scraped against the floor, he muttered to himself as he got up. “Don’t your damn parents ever feed you…”
Behind him as he walked to the kitchen, chatter went on as usual. He glanced at them as he took the ingredients back out of the cupboard, placing them on the bench one by one. Mike and El had what looked like a staring contest, the two of them caught up in some game they were playing with their hands that Will had made up and wouldn’t explain to anyone outside of their party. Will was animatedly chatting with Jonathan who was stuck to Nancy’s side as she leaned into him, grinning at her boyfriend’s little brother. Lucas and Dustin were bickering about something that he had to guess was Star Wars related or he was sure he’d never know. He’d accounted for everyone but…
“Hey.” Steve almost jumped out of his skin when he realised Max was literally right beside him, leaning her hands on the counter..
“Holy fu— Max , sneaking up on people is bad. I thought I taught you better than that.”
“Why would you teach me not to sneak up on people?” He was stuck on that one for a minute, so she kept going. “What are you doing?”
“Making brunch for you spoiled brats.” He said, sounding bitter and annoyed though he knew the girl beside him knew better.
She perked up, pushing up on her toes. “Can I help?”
Steve paused his measuring flour, narrowing her eyes at her. It took him a solid twenty seconds to respond this time around. “Yes.”
Turned out Max was a pretty decent cook, actually. Her mixture was better than his, though Steve supposed his cooking skills extended only to either breakfast food or pasta for a reason. She couldn’t flip a pancake for shit, though and Steve only let her do it once before he told her to sit on the counter instead and watch while he showed her.
On the other side of the room, Nancy had decided to set the table, using the needlessly large Harrington dining table so there was enough room for everyone. She brought over an extra chair, but it wasn’t like they were going to have to squish together. She managed to con Mike into putting down plates after El nudged him for his initial refusal and everyone else made themselves busy or at least pretended to. Dustin and Lucas mostly walked back and forth from the table, putting out napkins or whatever else was left. They were still discussing what was still only possibly Star Wars since he only recognised some parts of it.
Eventually there were three big stacks of pancakes on the dining table, with only a few slightly singed ones at the bottom made while Steve was trying to reacquaint himself with the frying pan. That plus some fruit he’d encouraged Max to cut up, anything else from his fridge that could go on top of them and a couple of eggos that El had somehow found hiding in his freezer. He was pretty sure that was her other superpower.
The kids spread themselves out across the table, talking animatedly and declaring just how many pancakes they planned to eat and then regretting the decision to be competitive about it two pancakes in. He mostly listened to the chatter until he had something funny to say, like embarrassing Dustin in the brotherly way he’d taken to. He snickered at Max and Lucas holding hands under the table, even when Max narrowed her eyes at him and he knew if she were closer she’d be kicking him in the shin. He watched Mike try to steal a little off El’s plate only to make her eyes wide and suspicious until she smiled and held up a piece on her fork to share with him. He even watched Nancy and Jonathan, the former right in front of him on his right, as they spoke quietly as they chewed. He joined in eventually, allowing at least a meal’s worth of normalcy.
It was strange for him, feeling his house be so full of people who genuinely gave a shit about him and each other. A big change from his distant parents. He loved them, of course, but they were gossipy and obsessed with image, always showing off what they had in terms of money before they showed affection. He cared about everyone in the room too, more than he could put into words without making fun of himself for it. He’d had the shit beat out of him for them them more than once and had faced literal demon monsters from what he’d guessed was an alternate universe by their sides but it seemed well worth it for the semblance of real family he got.
As they finished up and the kids prepared to leave, claiming to have planned to be at the arcade anyway, Steve manage to catch Mike towards the side of the room. “Hey,”
Mike had shot up fairly quickly and it was clear to Steve that he was only gonna get taller. It made him look older than he was these days, but he knew that he was still a kid navigating all the trials and tribulations of being a teenager in love. It was complicated enough without some asshole making dumb, drunk comments about it. The kid pushed his shaggy hair out of his eyes and raised his eyebrows at him. “What?”
“Sorry about that shit I said the other day, okay? I was wrong. I was in a bad mood and you know better than to listen to my advice anyway so… Are we good?” Steve asked, his hands somehow finding his hips and making him suddenly aware of how much of a ‘dad stance’ he was taking on.
“S’whatever. I didn’t take it that seriously. El really didn’t like it though, she called you stupid.” He said, a lazy smile forming on his face.
Steve chuckled. “Guess she’s not wrong.”
“She also thinks you need to talk about your feelings, because bottling them up makes you an asshole.” At that comment Steve frowned, wondering if he’d always been that obvious. He glanced from Mike over to El across the room who glanced back at him, a knowing look on her face. He swore that despite all the shit she didn’t know yet, she was the smartest one in the damn room.
“Uh, thanks for the advice.” He said, clapping his hand against Mike’s shoulder before turning away, going to help with the dishes.
The kids called out goodbyes over their shoulders, disappearing off to their urgent engagement at the damn arcade. Urgent his ass. Naturally Nancy and Jonathan had started without him at the sink, shooting him smiles as he walked through the entry and picked up his dishtowel.
“Of course the kids get out of helping when it’s time to clean shit up.” He commented, shaking his head as he picked up a dish off the rack and began to dry it, then put it away. Both of them chuckled and he tried not to look too annoyed by it. He did the same shit when he was their age, but he usually wasn’t leaving over ten plates.
“So, Nancy says you’re gonna stop avoiding us.” Jonathan announced out of the blue as Steve picked up a second dish to dry. He’d almost dropped it, but he snapped back to normal quickly.
“How can I be avoiding you, you’ve only been back for what, like a week?” That earned a look from even the other guy in the room, though he usually let Steve be.
“Week and a half, and the fact that you know isn’t helping your case.” Nancy corrected, looking up from the plate in her hands that she was rinsing.
His voice lowered some and he avoided looking at them, putting away another plate. “I figured you guys would want some time together, alone.”
“What if we want time with you ?” That made him pause at the counter, pretending to be looking down at something as he peered down and to the side. Jonathan hadn’t said anything, probably because Nancy was better at convincing him to give in. He didn’t want to say yes, he didn’t want to torture himself like he was already doing.
His shoulders rose and fell. “I don’t know…”
Suddenly she was behind him, touching his arm and he felt alarmed to see her, frowning and shaking his head. “Come on, at least for the rest of today. We miss you.”
“Nance,” He felt he was getting desperate, not wanting to explain why he just couldn’t be around them the way he used to be, the way his feelings had only grown more difficult to deal with over time. Even with the two of them gone, the brief phone calls he got had been enough to anchor him back to feeling the way he did. It was weird, he knew it was weird. Ignoring feelings for one person was bad enough but ignoring feelings for two, well, that was the type of thing that’d really fucking ruin everything
He knew Nancy could see it, that something was wrong, or at least he assumed that was what the look was about when she peered at Jonathan. She knew there was something that Steve wasn’t willing to acknowledge or talk about because she had grown to be able to read him like a book. Still, she didn’t let him off the hook. “Please?”
Steve knew there was no use arguing without losing them permanently and that had to be worse. “Fine.”
He turned his head, not knowing if the weight had lifted or his stomach was plunging into anxiety. Maybe it was both. The smile he spotted on Jonathan’s face was heart wrenchingly sincere and Nancy rubbed his arm, walked back to the sink to finish off rinsing dishes. Steve took another moment there at the counter before he turned around, grabbed another dish. He smiled, made a joke. He really had missed them, a lot, even when they came barging into his life when he thought he couldn’t handle it. It would be good to have all of them together for the summer, if he could keep pushing through, if he could just get over it.