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"AAAGH!! AHHH!! WAAHAHA!"
Seventeen year-old Tweek Tweak is spazzing out yet again, this time in the center of his home living room, located within the Cloud Arena that floats above planet earth, because of things he usually-well, always-spazzes about.
Everything.
Specifically, one thing he's yet to understand, or don't think he will ever understand.
"Oh, Tweek honey, what's wrong?" His mother Linda calmly walks inside, soft spoken like always and illogically confused slash curious when Tweek is like this. It's like neither of his parents ever see the problem.
"AAH! AH! I-I-"
"You're gonna have to speak up hon."
"I AM speaking up! I'm ALWAYS speaking up! AGH!" The constantly mentally distressed boy tugs at his hair.
"Owe!"
"This isn't about what you've been bringing up recently, is it?"
"YES! IT IS!" He's at least relieved she's figured it out.
She exhales. "Tweek, we've talked about this. You simply have anti-simple extreme ADD. Maybe even ADHD with all the hair pulling."
"Urghh, Mom! I can barely focus or stay still because of my anxiety!"
"That just happens to be one of your defining characteristics, dear. Your number one character trait. And that's alright!"
"It's not just a personality trait Mom. It's a mental diagnoses! I have a condition!" He frazzles.
"Tweek honey, we've talked about the harms of self diagnosing. Now have some coffee."
"Agh!!" He yells, before taking the hot mug that Linda now suddenly holds, taking a long sip and yelping.
"I burnt my tongue!!"
"Oh, Tweek. Is it time for coral?" Linda asks sympathetically.
"No! No coral!" Tweek hates when Linda this'll help. All it is is creepy and in a way traumatizing for him to witness.
"Honey! Coral time!" Linda calls over to her husband Richard, who sits in the kitchen hoping to come up with some new coffee flavors.
"Coming!" He assures, trotting out and retrieving the nearby cabinet held boom box.
"Ugh," Tweek rolls his eyes.
After being plugged in and turned on, the Tweak parents begin their hula fusion dance.
"Ugh, do you need the song every time??" Tweek complains.
At least they don't have the matching outfits this time.
After having to watch their badly choreographed dance which seems to get longer each time, Richard and Linda fuse into coral, a mix of sapphire-Richard's stone, and Amber-Linda's stone, which Tweek shrieks and shrinks down at the sight of each and every time.
The major sizing difference doesn't help his anxiety.
"Ughhh, guys! Your fusing does not help! It's creepy!"
"Drink your coffee, dear." Coral advises.
He takes a long, single sip before bringing down the rim of the cup from his lips.
"Aaaahhhhghh!"
He sprints out of the house, almost dropping his coffee mug and letting splashes of the drink fall onto the grounded textures below.
"Aaaahhhh! Waaaaha!" He shrieks all the way down the street, struggling to drink his coffee and sprint shakily at the same time.
Inside the Tucker's home living room, a vase flies past seventeen year-old Craig, with the intent of aiming at and hitting him right in the face. As if he didn't already have enough cuts and bruises from before.
"Jesus Christ, Mom!" He's lucky enough to be heard over the sound of both his parents shouting.
Because of that, he can't even comprehend what they're each saying. He knows it's not good. Strings of curses, demands, threats...
The usual.
The same old noise brings ringing to his ears and white noise into his head.
"God damn it, enough!" He declares, making his way upstairs and into his usually neat and tidied room.
He grabs the handle of the cage where his guinea pig Stripe, lives, and his personally assigned weapon which is a sword, sitting on the top shelf of his closet.
"I know, Stripe." He senses him insecurely shrinking down in his cage. "I'm sick of it too. Don't worry. We're getting out of here."
Back downstairs, he sees that his parents have fused like they always do when planning to hurt their son, but a strike of his sword to their gem's arm, they're spilt back up into their physical human forms, leaving Craig to sprint into the kitchen where Stripe's food is kept.
"Craig!" He's screamed at, while snatching a new bag of the pet's food from under the counter.
He escapes through the door leading into his backyard, where his mother Laura has started to send the wind into a frenzy and thunder into the sky.
"Shit! Come on Stripe!!" He knows it's too risky to go around his house and onto the straight so heads straight into the woods.
"Hah! You're such an asshole, Kenny." Eric Cartman happily jabs to his 'friend' Kenny Mccormick in that such location, the two other boys they hang out with named Stan Marsh and Kyle Broflovski standing next to them, crossing their arms and rolling their eyes.
"Fuck off fatass."
"Fuck you Ky'le! You gonna do your Jewish dance?! You gonna do your Jewish dance for me and cry?!"
"I don't do a Jewish dance!"
Craig thought his day couldn't get any worse, until he happens to run into the classmates that he tries to avoid at all costs.
Specifically Cartman.
Of all the fucking people.
"Oh, Jesus it's you guys." He's still panting, holding on tighter to Stripe's cage.
"Why hello Craig. What a lovely sword you have there. Were you aware that I have seven dollars in my pocket?" Eric purposely brings up.
"Shut up fatass, everyone knows you're only trying to get everyone else's weapons because you lost your own." Stan snaps.
"I didn't lose it! My stupid cat ate it!"
"Yeah! And that's why it’s dead!" Kenny's muffled voice reasons from under his hood.
Craig rolls his eyes. This is why he can't stand being around them. All they do is argue about the stupidest shit, and it's brought back to Cartman each and every time. He used to think the other three were cool, when he assumed they were too scared to ditch the anti-Semitic freak, but it's been going on for way too long.
He swears if he has to hear Kyle be called a Jew, or Eric a fatass one more time-
"Ahhhh!! Wahahahaha!" Tweek's distant cries interrupt his thoughts and the stability of all their eardrums.
"Ah Jesus, it's Tweek." Eric declares.
"What's he scared of this time?" Stan asks.
"You guys know he has like, terrible terrible anxiety right?" Craig defends.
"If he has 'terrible terrible anxiety,' then he should get it fixed. Go to shock therapy or something."
"You're such a retard Cartman." Kyle criticizes.
"I hear Tweek's parents mate to fuse together. So that's why he always looks traumatized." Kenny brings up.
"Oh that is so not true." Craig says.
"Maybe his Mom does a stripper dance," Stan figures.
"Ew."
"Why do you have Stripe with you? You gonna shove it up your butt again?" Eric grins to Craig, knowing exactly what gets to him.
"That was a rumor you thought of Cartman!"
"Don't worry don't worry, it's better than being a Jew."
Kyle frowns.
"What happened to your face?" Stan asks Craig.
"None of your business, Jew."
"That's me." Kyle says.
"Oh."
"Agh!" Tweek yells, when suddenly running into all the kids from school who he knows doesn't like him. He slurps his coffee.
"Oh God, there's Tweek."
"I'm standing right here!"
"Exactly." Stan finishes, Craig again rolling his eyes.
"Assholes."
"Hey shut the fuck up or I'll shove your sword up your ass!"
"Agh!" Tweek repeats at the conflict.
He and Craig suddenly and seeming out of nowhere, fuse together into one, which happens to be the gem labradorite-which holds Tweek's coffee mug for him-almost as confused as the four boys who stare up at the gem with eyes wide and mouths dropped open.
"Holy crap! Craig and Tweek are a gem! That's so fucking gay!" Cartman yells.
"You're the one that fuses with your Mom Cartman!"
"Fuck you Kenny!" He goes to reach for Craig's dropped sword, but Kyle grabs it himself while Cartman trips over and falls onto Stripe's cage in the process.
"Hey!" Labradorite yells, having a stable and mutual defusing which turns them back into their separate selves.
"No one touch Stripe!" Craig demands, snatching his sword from Kyle, and the cage from under Cartman at the same time.
"Wow guys that was so fucking gay. Do you take gander's at each other's assholes too?" Cartman's never gonna let them hear the end of it, standing up and dusting himself off.
"Shut up!!" Tweek's so furious that he causes lightning to emerge from the sky and strike Kenny.
"Bzfdbzfdzz!" He collapses to the ground where all the other kids gaze down in wonder.
"Oh my God! They killed Kenny!"
"You bastards!"
"Agh! I wouldn't have accidentally killed Kenny if I knew it was gonna be this much pressure!" Tweek exclaims.
"Whoa, awesome." Cartman smiles in response to his powers.
"It should've been you, Cartman."
"Hey! I thought you were cool for a second, you fucking coffee addict!"
"Ahh!" The boy takes a quick sip to deal with the pressure.
"Where'd Stripe go?" Stan realizes.
"WHAT?!" Craig shouts.
"Oh, nice going Cartman your fatass broke the cage!" Kyle yells to him.
"Yeah well maybe this wouldn't have happened if you weren't such a Jew!"
"Help Craig find him Tweek! Or is it 'too much pressure'?" Stan jabs.
"Come on Tweek, kill him!" Cartman cheers on.
"You're an asshole, Stan!" Craig can't stand how he felt the need to say that to Tweek.
"Agh! That's it. Craig come on." It just so happens to not be any pressure at all.
"But I-!"
"Damn it Craig let's go!" He squeezes his arm and pulls him off as far as both their feet will let them.
"Wow they are so fucking gay," Cartman concludes after a moment of silence.
"I knew it! I knew I should have put a chip in brain so I could locate him during a time like this!" Craig is yelling into the wind he runs through with Tweek by his side, who's eyeing him worriedly.
"Craig! Craig! It's okay-"
"How are you not panicking?! You're always panicking! How come we all of a sudden switched places! And how come we fused I barely know you-oh my God what did I just step on?!" Craig comes to a full stop after hearing a crunch from under the bottom of his sneaker.
"It was a leaf, Craig. You stepped on a leaf..." Tweek lightly kicks Craig's foot aside for him to see so himself.
"Oh...Well how come you're not freaking out you're supposed to be freaking out with me!"
"I'm trying to stay calm because I know you're already worried enough! You know your guinea pig Craig. Where could he have gone? Get into his mind."
"I don't know!! This kind of thing has never happened before! I-I Stripe is all I have and I can't lose him not today not like this-"
"Craig. Craig look at me." Tweek grabs his shoulders and locks their eyes together.
Craig pants a few more times before catching his breath and clearing his throat.
"I-I'm sorry. I'm just really..." He doesn't know how to finish.
"Drink some of my coffee, it'll wake you-"
Craig snatches it, and is needed to be stopped from chugging the whole thing down.
"Craig what the hell?!" Tweek's snatched back the cup.
"We could be searching for hours and I'm not stopping until I find him!" Craig takes back the cup.
"Is there any place Stripe's showed interest in? Somewhere you guys like to go together?"
Craig gasps. "I got it! The launching unit!"
"What launching unit?"
"Where all the rockets and spaceships are! Stripe's always wanted to go in and check it out but I knew we weren't allowed!"
"Why would he be interested in that?" Tweek's confused.
"Because he's been wanting to leave this place just like I have. Come on come on let's go!"
Tweek sighs once Craig is already sprinting five yards ahead of him, shaking his head and running past the leaf Craig had stepped on on ground.
'Why the hell are we connected again?' He still can't figure that part out.
But he does know that they couldn't be sharing a gem for nothing.
It took them almost a full thirty minutes to travel there by foot, but when they do arrive to the currently guarded storage unit full of transportation, the security man standing outside the door is their only hope.
"Hi sir..." It takes a few moments for Craig to catch his breath.
"Uh, my guinea pig might be around here somewhere...Have you seen him?" He's practically pleading.
"Nice try kid."
"I'm serious-!"
"There!" Tweek points over to the perfectly Stripe-sized crack on the side of the building, that leads to the inside of the insanely large square footage.
"Kid-"
"Let us in!" Craig uses his sword as a threat, and strikes him to the ground before any defense is attempted. He drops down the cup that splashed out dropped of coffee all the way there, as well.
Tweek zaps him lightly with a shock of electricity for extra force.
With that, they fuse into labradorite, pointing Craig's sword inches from the guy's heart.
"Give us the code!"
"Fine! But if your stupid gerbil isn't in there!"
"It's a guinea pig and his name is Stripe!"
"Alright fine! Fine! I saw him go in and was about to go inside and take him home-!"
"YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT I SWEAR TO GOD-!" They hit over the side of the man's head with Stripe's empty cage.
Tweek's anxiety causes them to defuse.
"Craig...! Calm down, please?! We just need the code."
They look back at the man who's now injured on the ground, who looks to be on the verge of crying almost instantly.
"Stripe?! Stripe!" Now inside the unit, Craig yells for him endlessly, jogging around with Tweek and checking every corner.
"You know Tweek, you could have been a bit less harsh on that guy. He was just doing his job."
"He lied to us!"
"Yeah but-"
"Holy crap! There he is! Stripe c'mere!" Craig spots the pet sitting within a nearby rocket and before the controls panel.
"Come on!" They jog over to the rocket and enter inside. Stripe now sits on top of the panel with glowing buttons and sounds of beeping.
"Dammit Stripe, don't do that again! Do you know how much trouble you got us in?! Back in your cage!" Craig opens it and holds it out for Stripe to enter.
"Stripe!"
He hops onto a different button.
"Don't you touch anything Stripe."
He turns on both the engine and the windshield wipers.
"Don't make me count to three! Grab him Tweek!"
"No way man! That is way too much pressure!"
"Now you panic?! Dammit come here!" He bolts over to reach for Stripe, who jumps onto the button that reads 'launch.'
"Oh Jesus!" Tweek yells.
"No-!"
The rocket launches off through the unit's ceiling and up into the sky, causing the still concrete seated security guard to sob.
"Ohhhh come on!"
"Where the hell could they have gone?" Kyle asks Eric and Stan back in the woods, now looking around for the two boys and hoping no one spots Kenny's body that they left behind.
"Look! Coffee!"
Cartman points out the lead of coffee stains in the leaves that bounced out of the cup due to all of Craig's running.
"Who else would that be from besides them? Follow the trail!" Stan declares, and they follow what they can see, all the way to the storage unit where the man still lays traumatized against the automatic door with Tweek's empty cup sitting in front of him, of course.
"They're definitely here." Kyle says.
"Dude. Weak..." Eric comments.
"The guinea pig was in there but I think it went to space, okay?! Please! Don't hurt me!" They're begged at.
Cartman blinks, and punches the dude's nutsack anyway.
"Cartman!"
"Go ahead! Do your Jewish dance Kyle! Go ahead and fucking do it!"
"What Jewish dance..?!" The man cries out in agony.
After randomly being given the code that they didn't even ask for, the boys discover the missing rocket from within the inside of the unit.
"Did...Did Stripe go to space?" Stan asks.
"I think he took Tweek and Craig with them." Kyle concludes.
"Don't say it Cartman." Stan knows exactly what he's going to say.
"Weak..."
He rolls his eyes.
"Better than what I thought he was going to say," says Kyle.
"Let's go in one of the rockets and follow them ourselves!"
"DAMMIT CARTMAN!"
"AAAAAAHHHH!" This time Tweek and Craig are both screaming, holding each other in preparation for whatever planet they'll soon be crash landing on instead of actually trying to take control of the damn transportation.
Stripe, now on the floor, gets back inside his cage and closes the door behind him.
"Oh, now you get back in your cage Stripe!" Craig yells.
"Craig! You're into science; save us!" Tweek demands.
"Okay! Okay okay uh..." Craig turns the rocket, having no idea where the hell he's taking them.
"We're going down!" Tweek yells in response to the blaring and flashing emergency light.
"Aaaahhhhh....!!!!"
After a long soul sucking sixty seconds, they crash land onto earth, Craig falling back and dislodging a bone but still holding Tweek in his arms; happy that he's returning the favor.
"Are you okay...?!" Tweek looks out the windows, observing that it seems they've crashed into the middle of nowhere.
"I will be, what about you?! You're shaking, man." Craig can feel Tweek's movements so much that he thinks it's causing him to do it himself.
"I-I-I'll be f-f-f-fine. Agh!"
Craig sighs, quickly checking on an unharmed Stripe who sips water in his cage, before looking back at Tweek and letting him rest his still shaking cheek against his shoulder.
"It's okay..."
He's never felt, or let alone seen, someone shake this much, deciding to hold him and lightly stroke his hair.
A few minutes pass by, and Tweek rests his eyes while laying against Craig who enjoys the feeling of Tweek's soft breathing. He must admit it's bettered his hurting arm, along with the fact that the body part is safely wrapped around Tweek's body.
"You alright?" He checks, lightly poking his cheek, in which Tweek opens his eyes and sits up calmly, unlike what he usually does when someone wakes him.
"Erm, yeah." He looks at him. "Thank you..."
"Yeah...Uh, I...I'm glad you're here. If I had to choose anyone from school to crash land on a planet with, it'd be you." He chuckles, and Tweek smiles.
"I'm just surprised at how calm I am. Probably 'cause you're around. And, we are each other's gems now, and all."
They both giggle. "Who would've thought..." Craig brings up.
He makes sure Tweek returns the deep stare into his eyes, planning to maybe, possibly, hopefully somehow, lean in closer or grow more intimate to him, until Tweek notices the looks of his arm.
"Craig, your arm..."
"Oh, it-it's fine."
"No, we need to get you some help."
"B-but we don't even know where we are!"
"Should we bring Stripe?" Tweek doesn't care about what he just said.
"Yeah. We might lose track of where we left the ship and I'm not losing him again."
"Okay," Tweek stands up and picks up the cage. "We should bring the sword too. We don't know what kind of terrifying creatures we could be encountering."
"'Kentucky'?" Tweek asks, reading the 'welcome to Kentucky' sign two miles from the crashed ship, still holding Stripe's cage with Craig standing by his side.
"Earth. We should be fine. I've been told it's just like the Arena but without gems." Craig explains.
"We crash on earth, and we couldn't have landed somewhere cooler? Like Ireland, or New York City? Or Canada?"
"Dude Canada sucks."
"True. Well let's go. There should be a hospital nearby. Money isn't a thing here like it is back on the arena, is it?"
"Yeah, it's even worse here."
"Dang it."
"So, how did this happen, exactly?" The nurse who gave Craig x-rays for his broken arm asks him, putting on his cast in the office where Craig sits on the examination table at the hospital they found four miles within town, and Tweek in the corner of the room with Stripe.
"Ummmm...I was playing with my sword." He gives Tweek an uncomfortable look.
"Ah, okay." She lets him stand up, before letting the two know where checkout is.
The boys sneak out through the back when no one is watching.
"You think they'll catch us?" Craig asks him on his way back to the ship.
"We're leaving, aren't we? How will they know to check for us on another planet?" Tweek reasons.
"Tweek, I-I don't wanna go back. I can't go back. My parents..." He somberly trails off.
Tweek's stomach drops at the realization.
"They did that to you..."
Craig says nothing.
"W-well when we get back we can talk to my parents. They can take you in-"
"Your parents aren't exactly the best either. They're in complete denial about your anxiety disorder and make it worse with the loads of coffee they give you."
"Shut up Craig! Yeah my parents are weird and oblivious to some things but-!"
"But nothing! Bullshit! I'm worried about you Tweek and I've always been worried about you. Whenever I see you around the halls at school I hate it because you're still not getting help."
He pauses.
“Whenever I don't spot you for a while I at least think about you, thinking 'hey I hope that Tweek kid hasn't been so anxious like he always is when I see him.' But nope. You're still the same jittery mess."
"'Mess'?!"
"And that scares me! It means your parents aren't doing anything about it, and you're not doing anything about it either. While we're here, and I guess if we are leaving, we might as well steal some meds for you or something. To help you."
"I don't need medication Craig I have you!"
"What's that mean?!"
"Are you senseless?! Why the hell do you think we gemmed together?! Without a stupid dance or anything. You've made me feel capable of a mix of all these different things, Craig. And if you can't see that I...I-!"
Thunder crackles with the help of his built up fury.
Craig blinks at him intensely. "Oh..."
He knows exactly what Tweek means, because he knows that ever since they've been around each other, he's been able to express true feelings he never thought he'd had inside of him. About Stripe, his parents, or even Tweek himself.
He even revealed his true panic about Stripe right in front Cartman and his 'friends', of all people.
He didn't care about being his true self in front of those assholes.
"I don't want to be taken in by your parents..." He steps closer towards him, heart pounding faster with each inch they draw closer between each other.
"Why not..." Tweek keeps his voice steady.
“Because it wouldn't be very appropriate," Craig pulls Tweek closer with a pull of his shoulders, and the boy is so shocked that he drops Stripe's cage to the ground.
He's embarrassed by the gasp that he lets out.
Speaking of 'those assholes',
Cartman, Stan, and Kyle's spaceship comes crash landing down, just like Tweek and Craig's did, with the sound of them all screaming from the inside.
"Oh are you fucking kidding me?!" Craig asks, letting go of Tweek and scowling at the crashed ship that Cartman is now trying to fix.
"Stop it!!" Kyle yells.
"Well maybe if we just took a rocket ship instead like I wanted to then this would have never happened Kyle! But nooo!"
Cartman gives it a rest, and storms out of the ship in anger with the two other boys, where Tweek and Craig aren't exactly the happiest to see them.
"What are you guys doing here?!?!?" Craig loses it.
"We wanted to see if you ever found Stripe!" Stan answers.
"Well we did-!" Craig angrily swings his arm towards the ground seated cage, only to rest his eyes on it and see that Stripe's escaped again.
"STRIPE!!"
"Hey, you broke your arm? Heh, fucking pussy," Eric is somehow just noticing.
Tweek gives him a good shock of electricity.
"OWE!"
"Ugh, Tweek!" Craig faces him.
"You tell 'em Craig!" Eric thinks Craig is defending him.
"No! Why'd you drop the cage Tweek?! You were supposed to be keeping an eye on him!"
"Last time I checked he was your pet, Craig."
"Is! He is my pet because I'm not losing him!! Again!"
"The only reason I dropped the cage was because you grabbed me!" Tweek defends.
"Huh?" Kyle asks to Stan.
"And how was I supposed to know he would escape his cage?! How does he even know how to do that?!"
"Yeah! How does he know how to do that?" Stan wonders.
"I...I trained him okay?!" Craig sweats it out.
"Why?!" Stan asks.
"Because one time my Dad was threatening to hurt him okay?! So if it ever happened again-which it did-I trained him to leave his cage so nothing bad would happen."
"'Bad would happen'?!??" Shouts Tweek.
"He knew his way home!"
"Yeah well right now we're not 'home'," says Kyle.
"We need to come up with a plan. Tweek, Craig, you go look for Stripe. He couldn't have gotten far. The rest of us will stay here and try to fix the ship."
"With what?" Craig asks Stan.
"We'll figure it out! Now go get Stripe before someone steps on him!"
"Ah!" Craig yells, strangely reminding Tweek of himself. "Come on..." He takes his arm and pulls him along.
Tweek and Craig don't talk much at first during their walk to an unknown destination, until Craig brings up what he said.
"I'm, uh, sorry for blaming you..."
"Well I did drop the cage," Tweek considers.
"Only because I grabbed you. Like you said."
"Well I wasn't stopping you."
Those are the words that have them both stop walking and boldly look at each other.
"Why?" Craig's brow furrows.
"W-why were you grabbing me?" Tweek avoids his answer with another question.
This catches Craig extremely off guard. Maybe a little too off guard. He doesn't speak when he's not stuttering and is stuttering when he does speak.
Tongue tied, he trips and tumbles over his words while sweat happens to be running down his scorched red face.
Instead of being cocky about the obvious feeling lingering through the air, Tweek waits patiently with focused eyes pinpointed to Craig's lips.
This time, he's the one who pulls him close. Their noses touch nicely together, their lips almost doing the same if it weren't for the panting breaths leaving their mouths, or the festering hearts that keep them both from moving any closer.
Tweek tries to breathe out a word of encouragement, but can't bring himself to say it with a full voice.
Craig takes that as a sign to fully lean in, cupping his right cheek and not even preparing himself for the contact he knows he's about to feel.
"Hey there! What's your name buddy?" The sudden voice of a little boy standing fifteen feet away breaks them apart, who's happily exclaiming to a perfectly fine Stripe standing right below them.
"Hey!" Craig alerts. "There's Stripe! There he is!"
The boy looks at them. "He's mine, now!"
"Oh, like hell he is-!" Craig stomps his foot and takes a step back to go charging at him.
"Hey! Hey! Craig no stop!" Tweek yells while Craig is struggling to break free from his tight grip.
"It's okay," he keeps his voice low, while Craig is now growling but continues to attempt escape, still planning an attack on the boy who holds Stripe and gives a cocky look.
"Give him back!!!"
"Craig he's just a kid!"
"I don't care-!"
The boy takes off to the point of no return, causing Craig to holler and scream like he never has before.
"Craig! Craig! Hey." Tweek decides to let him go, and is then glared at by Craig, who spins around for eye contact.
"It's your fault! If you had let me go then I could have gotten him!!" He's already accusing him.
"He's ten at best, Craig! I wasn't gonna let you hurt him!"
"It's Stripe!"
"I know. He's not gonna hurt him. He's probably just a stubborn kid who wants a pet."
"Well..." Craig thinks. "What if his parents won't let him keep Stripe? And he's put in a shelter or something?"
"That's unlikely."
"Well even if nothing bad is gonna happen to him, how are we gonna find the kid? This world's a big place, Tweek. I-I'm scared what if something does happen and..."
This is the first time Craig's cried in front of someone that wasn't Stripe. Let alone this fucking much. Crying turns into sobbing and sobbing turns into silence.
For a few minutes all that Tweek knows to do is hold him, resting his chin on his head and kissing the top of his hat.
"It's okay...It's okay. I'm gonna help you."
"You're..." Craig sniffles and wipes a tear, after taking his face from Tweek's shoulder and looking at him.
"You're good for me, Tweek..."
A smile spreads across Tweek's face, redness being added to the mix.
With the same cupping to his face, Craig is about to hopefully get the kiss from him that they've both been wanting.
"Guys!! Guys!" Cartman comes running over to them huffing and puffing.
"What?" Craig snaps, angry that their moment was ruined by that fatass.
"We fixed the ship!" He announces, Stan and Kyle running up next to him.
"Seriously?" Tweek asks.
"Yup. And it's all thanks to me." Greed is one of Cartman's main unfortunate traits.
"Just because you gave me the tool to fix it doesn't mean that you fixed it Cartman." Kyle snaps.
"You still haven't found Stripe?" Stan asks.
"We did, but then some kid took him."
"Well where'd he go??"
"Back home, I guess?"
"That shit! I say we go find him and kick his ass!" Cartman declares.
"Yeah!" Joins Craig.
"No!" Tweek exclaims.
"Well do you guys have any idea where the kid could be?" Kyle wonders.
"I don't even know where'd we start. We don't have a name or anything." Craig says.
"I know. Let's go to the park where all the little kids are." Suggests Cartman.
"Let's not."
"So what are we gonna do? We're hopeless!" Tweek yells.
A noise of familiar muffled speaking sounds from out of nowhere.
The gang looks over, and all gasp.
"Kenny!" There's his ghost floating within the air.
"Hey guys," he waves.
"Heh! He looks even poorer as a ghost." Cartman jabs.
"Hey man! Fuck you-!" Kenny floats towards him.
"Whoa man! Don't anger it! Kenny what are you doing here?" Stan asks.
His entire answer is too muffled for Tweek and Craig's ears.
"We have no idea what the fuck he just said."
"He said that he can help us get to Stripe and the little boy at his house!" Kyle beams.
"You start to understand him eventually when you've known him since preschool." Cartman adds.
Kenny then gives them the boy's address, where he saw him playing with Stripe within his room and hiding from his parents.
"What...?" Tweek asks.
"He gave us the address, let's go!" Stan yells, about to move from his spot.
"Wait!" Craig looks at Tweek.
"Before there's no more interruptions."
He kisses Tweek hard after grabbing his face, using so much force as if it's his last kissing Tweek, despite it only being the first.
Eric, Stan and Kyle all gasp, even jump, with their mouths falling open.
"Dude!" Eric yells.
"Whoa dude! What the fuck?" Kenny asks in his muffled style.
When the kiss that seemed to go on forever is over, Craig steps away with a huge grin on his face.
"Let's go!" It's like the kiss completely energized him, and has prepared him for just about anything that'll stand in his way.
He begins his sprint back over to the ship, and the rest of the guys-including ghost Kenny-can only look over at Tweek for possibly some answers; Tweek, who's grinning sheepishly.
Right now, no one's going to get nothing out of the speechless overly joyed boy.
In the ship, all the boys are already arguing about who gets to mandate.
"I'm the one who fixed it!" Cartman yells, sitting up front with Kyle and Stan while Tweek and Craig are in the back. Kenny's ghost flies around the entire perimeter, impatient and waiting for the drama to end.
"Quit saying that fatass, I'm the one who fixed it and I'm the one who drove us down here." Kyle reasons.
"Oh you mean crashed us down here?!"
"Oh, just let me do it!" Stan yells, starting the ignition. "Where do we go Kenny."
Tweek and Craig thought it would get better with each set of dialogue, but they guessed wrong.
"What the hell is he saying?!" Craig demands.
"Just let it go honey..." Tweek shakily whispers, touching his arm gently.
Stan shifts forward the handles, having the ship zoom out of the woods and onto the main roads around them, traveling at two hundred miles per hour.
"Jesus Stan!" Tweek screams.
"Turn right! Turn right!" Kenny alerts at the turn up ahead.
Stan obeys a little too sharply, and they all almost tumble right out of their seats.
"Sorry...!" Stan apologizes, fully climbing back into his chair and paying attention to the thankfully empty road ahead.
"Where now Kenny?"
"Mmmph mph mph mmphrr mm!"
"Okay," Stan keeps straight, until taking another sharp turn this time to the left, and a few more turns before entering the boy's neighborhood.
"Okay and what are people gonna think when they see a giant spaceship just flying around in the neighborhood?" Kyle asks, as Stan pays close attention to all the houses.
"Here it is! Here it is!" Kenny says.
Stan turns sharper than he ever has, accidentally crashing into the house and directly the boy's room where he's playing with Stripe on the carpet.
Stan slams onto the brake, coming to a complete jolted stop.
"Ahh!!" The boy yells at the unbelievable sight before him.
No one really has any idea what to say.
"Ummmm...Surprise! We're entertainment for your birthday party...!" Cartman flashes a weak pair of jazz hands.
"Hey! It's you guys!" The boy points to Tweek and Craig awkwardly huddled together in the back.
"Ummmm..."
"Stewart? Do you have any idea what that noise was-oh my gosh!" His parents come walking into the room, shocked at what they see with their own eyes.
"You have a rodent with you?! Ugh, God, get him out of here! Look at the mess he caused!"
"Mom! Do you not see the kids in the giant spaceship in the gaping wall hole??!"
"Hm. He's right honey." Her husband says.
"Agh!" Tweek pulls at his hair.
"Give me that damn thing!" The Mom goes to grab Stripe, but Tweek and Craig aren't having it.
Jumping out of the ship together, they form into labradorite, which has to be just about the coolest thing Stewart's ever seen.
"Whoa!"
"Ahhhh!! Ted!!!" His bitch of a Mom screams.
"My nipples are hard!" Ted announces.
To top it all off, Stan and Kyle jump out of their seats, and begin their dances to form into their gem Citrine.
"What the fuck is this guy’s problem?” Eric asks in response to Ted who's goofily dancing along.
"Fuck!" Stewart mindlessly repeats, and Kyle frowns at Eric before he and Stan are one.
"Hey! I'm all alone!" Cartman complains in terms of not being able to fuse. If only his Mom were here.
"C'mere Stripe! C'mere!" Labradorite holds out their hand.
"No!" Stewart begs.
"Hi-ya!" Mom bitch kicks in between Labradorite's legs, causing them to cry out in pain and burst apart back into Tweek and Craig.
Both Cartman and ghost of Kenny laugh.
"Hahahaha yeah that was funny Kenny."
But Citrine lifts up Mom bitch and throws her through the hole in the wall, knocking her down one story and onto the front lawn.
"Whoa, awesome!" Cartman observes.
"C'mere son!" Ted happily scoops up his son in celebration.
"Urgghhhh...Ugh!" She comes climbing back up the house, reaching out for Stripe who still stands confused on the floor.
"Stripe no!" Craig yells.
The animal sprints over behind his owner, and jumps into the back of his pants.
"Huh?" Ghost Kenny asks.
"Agh!" Craig yells, feeling Stripe squeeze himself up somewhere no one ever thought any animal his size could.
"Dude! Did Stripe just go up your butt?" Cartman asks.
"Cool!" Stewart smiles.
"Would it be wrong if I touched myself?" Ted blabs.
Kyle and Stan separate back into their own selves, just to laugh at Craig.
"Shut up!"
"Wow Craig, Stripe’s gonna get you off before Tweek does!" Cartman smiles.
"Fuck off Cartman!”
"Ah!" Tweek yells.
"Don't make me stick my fist up your ass!" Mom bitch goes to reach for the back of his pants.
"I’m gay you trick ass bitch!" He kicks at her foot, and she falls back onto the lawn with a scream.
"Dude...Did you just cum?" Kyle asks Ted, in response to the look of ecstasy on his face and the weird sound he just made.
"What n-no...Jesus Christ you kids and your dirty minds!" He scratches his head.
"Dude, I'm sorry, but...Stripe's my pet. Not yours." Craig has to tell Stewart.
"That's what I named him!" He smiles.
"Really?!"
"Yeah because-"
"Of the stripe on his back!" He and Craig beam together, and Cartman rolls his eyes.
"Jesus Christ."
"It's okay. I don't exactly want him anymore after he went up your butt. That's dedication."
The little guy squeaks from inside Craig's ass.
"Yup..."
It grows awkward.
"Oh well we should go..." Stan says.
"Wait! What are you guys?" Ted asks.
"Gems." Kyle shares. "But he's a ghost." He points over to Kenny. "Not for long, anyway."
"I struck him with lightning," says Tweek.
"Awesome!" Stewart smiles. "You don't have any morphing powers!" He makes fun of Cartman.
"Yes I do, asshole! I just happen to fuse with my Mom!"
"You guys live here on earth?" Ted asks.
"No. We're from—some place else." Tweek doesn't want to give away too much. "We came here to save Stripe."
"Can you guys come back and visit every year?!" Stewart asks.
Ted gives a hopeful look.
"No-"
Stan hits Cartman. "Yeah...! Of course...!" He answers.
"Yay!!!" He hugs them all, except for Kenny who he feels right through.
"Ugh." Cartman's unresponsive to the gesture.
"Ahh!" It's too much pressure for Tweek.
“Well looks like we’re gonna be making yearly trips here,” Kyle says on their surprisingly steady Stan piloted ride back to Cloud Arena.
“Yup...Oh I forgot to show you guys this sword I found.”
“That’s my sword Cartman!” Craig screams.
“Really well you left it in the woods like a fucking pussy.”
“Shut up fatass.”
“That’s my line,” Kyle says.
“How are you gonna get Stripe out of your butt?” Kenny asks Craig.
“I really don’t want to talk about that...”
“Tweek how are you ever gonna have sex with him knowing Stripe’s been up there? He’s seen more than you ever will!”
“Shut up Cartman!” Tweek accidentally strikes Craig’s held hand with angry lightning.
“Sorry hon!”
Kenny giggles.
Kenny turned back into his human self but died again two days later from a wild boar attack.
He, Cartman, Stan and Kyle continue to be assholes to each other in the woods, mostly ruining Tweek and Craig’s romantic walks.
Craig got Stripe removed from his butt, but then got Tweek stuck in there not too long after.
His parents were convinced by the Tweak’s to start a meth lab, which they were busted and taken away for.
Craig now lives with Tweek and his parents, who they like to trick by forming into Labradorite and confusing them when they’re high.
Richard was convinced by Craig to secretly put medication that prevents his anxiety within his coffee every morning.
Tweek doesn’t notice much.
The six boys in total take once in a while trips to Kentucky to see Stewart and Ted.
Mom bitch drank herself to death, and that made Ted’s nipples very hard.
Craig never got his sword back from Cartman.
Fin.