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When Karen had called him, breathless and excited, telling him she had something for him, Frank had assumed it was some life-threatening story. Maybe she’d needed some muscle to get the answers she wanted, maybe it had to do with their mutual horned friend; either way, Frank decided, he wouldn’t ask. He’d do whatever she asked, and then they’d be square.
The address she’d given directed him to a nice yet discreet apartment building, the kind that didn’t flaunt the kind of wealth it nevertheless held.
There was no doorman, which was… odd. Frank pulled a gun from inside his coat and adopted a Weaver stance, waiting for the bullets to come flying. Nothing happened.
After a second, Frank rolled his shoulders and lowered his guard slightly. He moved with precision to the stairwell. The apartment he was supposed to go to was at the very top of the building, but there was no way he was going to let himself be trapped in the elevator.
Eventually, after a lot of cursing (what was it about climbing stairs that left people heaving for breath no matter how in-shape they were?), he arrived at a nondescript door. It was labelled “PENTHOUSE- STAIR ENTRANCE”, and below it, written in sharpie on a piece of partially ripped tape, he read “please knock! -----ns sleeping!”
Huh the elevator must open straight to the penthouse.
After readying himself, Frank kicked in the door and burst into the room, gun trained on… an empty penthouse?
Before Frank could even process the sheer size of the place, something big and purple came screeching into his field of vision. Frank fired on reflex, missing the creature by about a millimeter.
The thing fluffed its feathers and made a hmmph sound. It gave him a once over and said in an unimpressed but undeniably female voice, “So, I’m guessing you’re not the pizza guy.”
Frank blinked. He opened his mouth, then closed it. After a second, he cleared his throat and tried again. “You’re… a dragon?”
The dragon rolled her eyes. “Got it in one, jackass. Now put that thing away and get out of my house.”
This shook Frank back into reality. He raised his gun again, unaware that he had lowered it. “I got a call from my friend, and I ain’t leavin’ ‘till I’m sure she’s safe.”
“Yeah, okay. I’m gonna tell you again to put that thing away, or else you’re not gonna like what happens next.”
The dragon lowered into a crouch, muscles tense.
Frank aimed carefully for her head. He muttered his breath, heart pounding. “One batch, two batch-”
A hand closed around his gun right as he pulled the trigger. Smoke coming from the barrel, Frank turned around, and was confronted by a pair of pecs threatening to burst from a cotton prison. He looked up into the face of a disappointed black man.
He looked past Frank, and asked the dragon, “Jess, who is this fool?”
The dragon did an equivalent of shrug and eased out of her crouch. “No clue,” she said. “Just heard someone walking through the back and thought the pizza boy had gotten lost again.”
The gun was forcibly wrenched out of Frank’s hands, directing his attention back to the man. “Who are you? What are you doing here?”
Frank puffed out his chest and stared the man in the eyes. “I could ask you the same thing.”
The man rolled his eyes and said, “Luke Cage. I live here. Now, you.”
Frank blinked. “Luke Cage? The Hero of Harlem?”
Luke smirked. “The one and only,” he said. “Now,” he repeated forcefully, putting a hand on Frank’s shoulder, “You.”
Frank looked at the hand, then the man it was attached to.
“My name is Frank Castle, and I’m here to help my friend.”
Luke frowned in confusion. “What friend?”
Frank started as he felt something brush past his legs. The purple dragon, Jess, as Luke had called her, stalked past the two of them into a random room, slamming the door behind her.
A few moments later, a pale, dark-haired woman emerged from the same bedroom, wrapped in a colorful bathrobe. She shoved past Luke, knocking his hand loose from Frank’s shoulder. She then proceeded to pick Frank up by the lapels of his jacket and pin him to the wall.
“Who the fuck gave you this address? Why are you here?”
Frank’s been through a lot. He’s been through multiple tours overseas, saw his family gunned down in front of him, and fought a cult of death ninjas with a red-suited idiot. But apparently, this is what it took for him to become well and truly speechless.
Suddenly: “Frank!”
All of them looked up. Over on the other side of the loft, Karen was staring down at them, horrified.
“Hello, Karen,” he said weakly. Karen’s head disappeared.
Suddenly, a lithe golden form burst from where Karen’s head was only moments before, nearly giving Frank a heart attack.
It landed with grace a few feet from them, then assessed the situation. It turned to Frank and said in Karen’s voice “.... So mistakes were made.”
“...Could someone please tell me what the hell is going on here?” he pleaded.
The dragon- Karen, apparently, looked sheepish. Twiddling her claws and staring at the floor, she admitted “I… may not have been… entirely sober when I called you.”
At that, Luke and Jess both sighed. Jess removed her hands from his jacket and let him drop to the floor.
Scrambling to his feet, Frank said “With all due respect, that’s not exactly what needed explaining here.”
Now Karen looked confused. “Wait, what are you talking about?”
Frank gestured to her. “...Something just seems different about you,” he said pointedly.
Karen looked down at herself, then gasped and smacked herself on the head. “Right! Oh man, I totally forgot that you didn’t know!”
Frank gaped at her. “...Okay, seriously: Karen, what the hell?”
Karen swayed in place just a bit. “It’s entirely possible that I’m not sober right now either.”
Jess (the infamous Jessica Jones?) cursed. “Was that tonight? Danny didn’t say anything all day!”
From behind him, Luke rumbled, “It’s okay, there’s still lots of time. Plus, he said no presents, so you don’t have to worry about that.”
Jess sighed, still clearly unhappy.
Frank turned his attention back to Karen, who was shifting nervously from one claw to the other. “So…” he said awkwardly, “...dragon.”
Karen laughed. “Uh, yeah. Little bit.”
“Huh.”
After another pregnant pause, in which Luke and Jessica quietly discussed something or other behind him, Frank said, “So, what was it you wanted to show me?”
Karen brightened instantly. “Oh, yeah! It’s upstairs, you have to come see!”
Jess interrupted her conversation with Luke and asked, “You sure he’s ok? He tried to shoot me.”
Karen nodded somberly. “Oh yeah, for sure. He’s… he’s a good guy.”
Jess sighed. “Fine, but if he ends up betraying us, you lose your inviting privileges for the next year.”
Giggling, Karen spread her wings and gestured for Frank to come closer. Cautiously, he did.
Standing next to her, he said “So-” before there was a rush of air and he felt a sharp pressure around his waist. Next thing he knew, he was standing on the loft several stories up that Karen had jumped down from.
Karen walked past him, towards a room from which he could hear people talking and moving.
She hesitated at the doorway and motioned for him to join her. “You coming or what?”
Frank nodded, not trusting himself to speak.
Together, they entered a dimly lit room that seemed to be covered entirely in red velvet. He entered and observed three more dragons and two humans reclining on various couches and armchairs around the room.
A green dragon with a yellow mane eyed him suspiciously. “Who’s this?” Next to him, a slightly larger red dragon perked up.
“Frank?”
“Red?”
The dragon smiled at him. “Been a while, hasn’t it?” he said, far more relaxed than Frank had ever seen him.
Frank turned to Karen. “Is there anyone I know who isn’t secretly a dragon?”
Karen’s eyes glinted with mischief. “Probably.”
Over in the corner, a human woman asked loudly “Who invited him?” Frank vaguely recognized her as a nurse he’d seen in the hospital when he was going after Grotto.
Karen, in a weak voice that almost sounded like she was on the verge of tears, said, “...Foggy said it was a good idea.”
The room’s attention shifted to a cheerful looking man sprawled out on the couch. ‘Foggy’ shrugged. “I stand by it.”
Frank sighed. “The thing, Karen?”
“Oh, right!”
Karen guided him over to Foggy, who was pulling something up on his laptop. Frank sat down next to him, while Karen moved behind the couch.
Foggy pressed play, and a video started playing on his computer.
“Dad, look! It’s the good kush!”
“It’s the dollar store, how good can it be?”
The video ended.
Frank blinked.
Karen and Foggy looked at him expectantly.
After a moment, he put the pieces together and said, “Are… are you high?”
Karen and Foggy burst into laughter. Karen collapsed onto the back of the couch, wheezing, while Foggy wiped tears from his eyes.
“You... sound… just… like… him,” Karen gasped.
Frank looked at Red, baffled. “What the hell is going on?”
Red did the dragon equivalent of a shrug. “They thought you’d like it.”
Karen and Foggy dissolved into giggles again.
“So let me get this straight: you called me in the middle of the night, after weeks of radio silence, to show me a five second video on the internet?”
The green dragon cuddled up to Red raised his head. “It’s called a vine,” he said haughtily.
Karen and Foggy were struggling for breath at this point. Karen was draped across the back of the couch like a cat, flanks heaving with laughter.
Another woman, dressed in a gauzy green robe lounging between the green dragon and Red, took pity on Frank from her corner of the room. She drawled, “They are, in fact, high. It’s Danny’s birthday. He wanted to show us some fancy drug from K’un Lun, hence-” she gestured to the room, “this nonsense.”
The green dragon smirked. “You seemed to think it was a good idea earlier today, Colleen.”
The woman shrugged. “I’m high, leave me alone.”
At that moment, Luke and Jessica walked in.
“We still doin’ the dragon weed thing?”
Frank put his head in his hands. “I’m in Hell.”
He felt a comforting pressure on his shoulder. Frank looked up and saw Luke grimacing sympathetically. “Freaking dragons. Don’t worry, man, you’ll get used to it.”
Frank looked at him incredulously. “‘Used to it?’”
Luke grinned. “May be a little soon to call it, but usually when someone’s invited over, they don’t really end up leaving. And Karen seems awfully fond of you.”
Frank groaned and massaged his temples.
Luke laughed and simply said: “Welcome to the Flock, brother.”