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Randy gave a deep sigh as he shut the door behind himself. He dropped his backpack on the ground and went to climb into his bed. The day had been hard. Every day, really, was hard, when he had a black handprint on his face.
That handprint was meant to be where his soulmate would first touch him.
His soulmate, when they met, was going to freaking slap him.
And everyone knew about it. His mother, Howard, the kids at school, and even random strangers on the street and in stores knew.
Howard had met his soulmate already, the lucky bastard. Or so one would think, but Howard hated Julian with a burning passion. Unfortunately for Julian, he was utterly oblivious to this fact, and pretty much let Howard treat him how he saw fit. That would come back to bite him in the ass, both of them, but Howard wouldn't listen when Randy tried to warn him of this.
Oh well. His loss.
A glow caught Randy's eye, shaking him from his thoughts. He started to get down from his bed, assuming the Nomicon had sensed his thoughts and had some insight on the subject.
But the glow got even brighter, and the Nomicon floated itself out of Randy's bag, and Randy froze. He watched with wide eyes as the Nomicon glowed even brighter, and its form started to shift into...
Into a human form.
The Nomicon's glowing, piercing green eyes met Randy's own bright blue ones, and slowly, the former book approached him. The Nomicon lifted its (his?) hand, and...
Slapped Randy.
"Ow!" Randy cried, too disoriented by the sudden turn of events to realize that the Nomicon had slapped him in the exact spot of the black handprint. "What the juice, Nomicon?!"
"Your idiocy has led me to do this. You honestly grate on my nerves in an unbelievable way, in a way I had previously not thought possible! I mean, really, how did you manage to misinterpret 'Don't go in someone else's house'?!" the Nomicon snapped.
"Wh- That was months ago!"
"Yes, but I was previously incapable of changing into this form - or rather, I didn't know that I could. So sit back and get comfortable, ninja, because I have a year and a half's worth of annoyance to get out here."
And get out annoyance, the Nomicon did. Randy sat in complete silence, listening, and occasionally zoning out, as they (Randy would ask for proper pronouns later) ranted about every little thing that Randy had done that apparently annoyed them. And boy, were there a lot of things.
Finally, finally, the Nomicon was done ranting, and turned towards Randy. "By the way," they said, "what's with your face? Isn't that mark supposed to be black?"
Wait...
What?
Randy shot up and ran into the bathroom, ignoring the Nomicon's protests.
In the mirror, reflected back at him, was Randy's face. And on Randy's face was a big, rainbow-colored handprint.
The Nomicon, of all sentient beings in the world, was Randy's soulmate.
Speak of the devil...
"Why are you staring at yourself?" the Nomicon asked, leaning against the doorframe with a bored expression on their face.
Randy turned, mouth open, ready to yell...
"Wait... Weren't you just looking... A whole lot different?"
The Nomicon looked down at their body, and shrugged. "I got bored of my other form," they said. "Are you going to explain the rainbow hand on your face? Or why you were staring at yourself?"
Randy sighed deeply. Oh, geez, how to explain...
"Well, uh, Nomicon-"
"You can just call me Nomi."
"Right, Nomi, do you even know about soulmates?"
"I know... Of them, yes..."
Good start.
"So do you know how we tell who our soulmate is?"
"The black marks on your-" Nomi froze, as they slowly put together what was going on. "Oh. I see. I'm... I'm your-"
"Don't say it," Randy blurted, stomach churning at the thought.
Nomi met his gaze evenly. "A ninja who avoids the truth is weighed down by the lies they tell themself."
Randy forced out a bitter laugh. "Still got all that ninja wisdom, huh?"
"Indeed." Nomi raised an eyebrow. "So..."
Randy sighed, looking away. "You're... You're my soulmate."
Silence stretched on. For how long, Randy was unsure. But when Nomi finally spoke...
"Well, it's just as well. I'm not sure how to go back to my non-human form."
"You- You don't?! Why did you even do this, then?!"
"Because you were that irritating, Randy."
Randy groaned.
Epilogue
"So, wait, the Nomicon's your soulmate?" Howard asked, for about the fiftieth time.
"Yes, Howard," Randy said, also for about the fiftieth time.
"Well... That kinda... Wonks things up," Howard said. "I was planning to beat up your soulmate for slapping you, but... I mean, it's the Nomicon. They- It's they, right? They would kick my butt so hard that I would go back in time and meet myself as a baby!"
"That's an exaggeration."
"Except it's not and you know it."
"Yeah, I do."