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I had to park my car outside of Dante’s house.
We had said goodbye four times now, and I was about to try a fifth. Dante just wouldn’t get off me.
“Dante.” He pulled me in for another kiss. Then another. “Dante, serious-“ He pulled me in again with his fingertips. No matter how hard I tried I just couldn’t pull away from him. Who could pull away from Dante? I waited this long. Maybe I deserved this.
“Your parents may get worried.”
“They’ll know it’s you.” Kiss.
“You should really go.” Kiss.
“No.” Kiss. “If you ever think I’m leaving this car-“ Kiss “-You’re so wrong.” Kiss. “Silly boy, Ari.” Kiss.
“Yeah okay.” Kiss. “I’m an idiot.” Kiss. I grab his shoulder and push him back. “Should’ve waited-“ he tries to pull me in again, but I don’t let him. “-so you couldn’t have trapped me-“ he sneaks another one in. I let him. “In my own car.” Kiss.
“That’s what you get for making me wait.”
“I can’t help that I’m irresistible, Dante.” He shoves me away by my shoulder, laughing.
“You’re such a shit, Ari.”
“You’re such a good kisser, Dante.”
“I told you, Ari. You were missing out.” He grabs my face again, and kisses me, hard. He climbs over the gears and sits in my lap. “Ari, Ari, Ari.” He presses his face against mine, holding me tenderly between his fingertips. “I could stay here forever.”
I don’t know what to say, so I just kiss him again. I close my eyes and rest my head against his. “Dante.”
“Ari.”
“You should go inside.”
“Never.”
“Really.”
“Really.”
“I’m serious.”
“Me too.”
I look up at him. He’s reading my face.
“Already tired of me?”
“No. Never.”
“Stay the night.”
“I have to take legs out tomorrow.”
“Your Mom can.”
“No she can’t.”
Dante sighs, kisses me one more time, and climbs back to his seat. “Fine.” He kisses my cheek. “But you have to promise to come over right after you run.”
“After I shower. I promise.”
“And you won’t change your mind in the morning? About this? Me?”
I grab his hand and kiss it softly. “I could never.”
He smiles at me, softer than I’ve ever seen. He squeezes my hand, and reaches for the door.
“Dante?”
All this time, I’ve just been ashamed. Ashamed of my brother, of getting drunk, of beating Julian, of ignoring Aunt Ophelia, of loving Dante. I don’t know what it is; fear, anger. I know I’ll have to get over it if I want to get anywhere at all.
Maybe it is time to stop the dreams.
Dante looks at me with his perfect face. “Yeah?”
I stare at him. I know what I want to say. I know it. I have so much I want to say, I have so much I want to tell him. He must realize that, because he sits back in his chair and doesn’t take his eyes off me.
“Dante.” He grabs my hand again.
“I’m listening.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Take your time.”
I huff, then I look straight ahead. I open my mouth and decide that if I’m going to do this, I’m going to do it right, and I look into his perfect eyes in his perfect face with all his perfect freckles. He smiles perfectly, and suddenly, maybe, I don’t need the universe.
“I love you.” And just like that, I’m free.
His smile fades for a split second, then appears again, twice as big. He jumps across the gears and kisses me.
“Ari. Ari, Ari, Ari. I love you Ari.” I can’t stop smiling. I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy. Dante holds my face and giggles, and I think the only person I’ve ever seen as beautiful as him is my mother. “I love you so much, Ari.”
I just kiss him again, because I can’t talk, because I’m smiling too much. We’re barely even kissing, just smashing our smiling faces together.
I’m holding him now, he’s sitting in my lap with his feet across the front of my truck, and my arms are around his waist. He’s leaning into me, smiling, and kissing the top of my nose.
“Maybe you should go inside now. For real.”
“And leave my favorite person-who’s also a hunk and in love with me-in here? I don’t think so.”
“I thought you were tired.”
“You don’t just kiss the greatest guy in the universe then go to bed. Who do you think I am, Ari?”
“Go to bed. Maybe I’ll wake you up with a kiss.”
“Like sleeping beauty.”
“Or not.”
He laughs, and kisses me again. “I won’t be able to sleep.”
“That’s too bad, Dante.” I kiss his cheek. “I’m gonna sleep like a rock.”
“Cynic.”
“Romantic.”
He kisses me again.
“You know something, Ari?” He rests his head against mine, and looks into my eyes. “I’ve loved you since we met. It feels like I’ve known you my whole life.” I don’t say anything. I just rub my nose against his.
“I’ve just always loved you, Ari. Then you save my life. Then you write me back even though I know you don’t want to. Then you beat up some kid for me. And I think-“ he runs his hands through my hair. I close my eyes. “-I thought you would never...you know. I don’t know. I never thought...”
“Don’t cry, Dante. Please.”
“I won’t. I promise. I just-“ He kisses me again. Then he grabs my face and makes me look at him. “I owe you my life, Ari.”
“Don’t say that. You don’t owe me anything.”
“I owe you everything.”
“No. You don’t.”
“You are my entire heart, Ari Mendoza. Did you know that? My whole heart.”
Maybe I don’t need the universe.
I pull Dante closer, and press my lips to his neck.
Maybe I have everything I need right here. I have a car. A dog. Parents I love. And the love of my life, right here on my lap.
“My heart is yours, Ari Mendoza.”
Maybe the universe is right here in my arms.