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The way his smile seemed to speak so loudly was scary, because he himself wouldn't speak. It's not that he couldn't, but since he couldn't hear, he was ashamed of trying to mumble words that probably made no sense to the others. At least he didn't feel alone since there were so many that didn't yet get to hear how the world around them sounded. He'd feel more confident and relaxed around others like him. Seeing the red bracelets at their wrists made his boxy smile tell the story instead.
Waiting for his soulmate felt rather hopeless since he never tried to articulate a word before. Most of his existence was just as soundless as the world he saw daily. He hummed, but his laughter was silent, his gestures mute and his words signs or written. As a bittersweet destiny there's one thing that made him happy and kept him going. That was music, music that he couldn't hear, of course. They let him play with a piano and that's how it started, he couldn't hear the notes, yet it made sense as he hit the keys. Then it was guitar, drums a little, saxophone still his instrument of choice. His voice didn't sound bad either, one of the only times he ever 'spoke' was when he was asked to try and sing or at least hum a song.
He had one innocent wish, to be able to finally hear, both the world around him and himself. The people at school praised his skills and he just shyly and modestly brushed it off. Because at times he thought they just did it because he was still disabled in that way. Yet it wouldn't make sense for him to get into one of the best schools in Seoul without any talent. So because of that and because of his best friend he was able to make it through this whole thing as mentally sane as possible.
Jimin had already found his soulmate when him and Taehyung met in high school. They were in the same class and Jimin made a point from day one that he wanted them to be friends. Taehyung got used to liking being dragged around, involved in social situations, encouraged to do things, praised but also scolded, being given incentive to talk. Taehyung was surprised someone that was able to hear would want to still be around someone that wasn't yet. Jimin always took the time to write things down for Taehyung to understand, to try to read the deaf boy, to be a light in the dark and give him hope when he doubted.
Sometimes Taehyung wondered if maybe his soulmate was like him and that's why it was taking so much. If neither of them spoke, they wouldn't break the reality holding them from relishing noises. Most people wearing red around their wrists usually tried to say something whenever meeting someone, tried to roll the dices of fate. And in the end, it mostly worked, but Taehyung didn't want the first thing his soulmate heard to be a muffled out incoherent greeting.
I think he knew from the first time he saw him, that it was him, that his voice would be the sweetest sound to wake him up from silent emptiness. Taehyung and Jimin had just finished courses and were going for their usual coffee break at the nearest place. Turns out the cafe Yellow Light had a new employee. People usually associated hearing with the color yellow for the deaf ones, making it feel warm and loud but gentle like the sun. The cafe had that theme, yellow, blue and gray filling the space while the red bracelets popped against different shades of honey skin. The kid at the counter seemed a bit younger than them, a small bunny smile on his lips and a yellow apron around his thin waist.
Jimin's warm voice filled the air, yet the two couldn't hear it, the brown haired boy raising his arm to wave and show the two the string around it. Taehyung only parted his lips to show a bit of emotion, slight compassion getting through as he waved back then fiddled with his bracelet nervously. The boy hands them both a menu and waits for them to point at their order. While they decide Jimin sneaks glances at the boy, as if he noticed Taehyung's small gesture. In comparison to Taehyung his skin and hair were a bit lighter. The black strands Jimin was so familiar to came into his field of view as he looked up at Taehyung's blank face. Soon the bright red taking over as he rubs the back of his neck then points at a Mocha Mint Latte with a warming smile. The boy whose name pin read Jeon Jeongguk waited for Jimin to decide too and prepared the drinks while the two chose the table closest to the window as usually.
Taehyung liked looking outside, liked spacing out and thinking, imagining things that he had no knowledge of just yet. That time was different though, as he sat at their usual spot but instead looked around the cafe. Jimin knew what was going on, he himself felt that nervousness when meeting Min Yoongi. At least the ginger haired boy was the first to speak and saved Jimin of hours of contemplating how to approach him. If even he had that problem, he knew how much worse it was for Taehyung since he didn't want to speak. Not like that, even if he was desperate to know how everything felt when it also raged with vibration.
When Jeongguk came with the drinks both boys glared at him. He was handsome, body shaped beautifully between muscular and lean, fluffy hair and big brown eyes that shinned along side his shy smile. Jimin tried to make the younger talk as he mouthed 'thanks' but he only nodded and left, leaving Taehyung staring at the wall as Jimin sighed. He assumed Jeongguk was just like Taehyung, even more motive to get the two to speak. It was their happiness on the line after all.
The mute static played in Taehyung's ears as Jimin typed on his phone, soon holding it in front of his friend's eyes.
"Do you think it's him?"
Taehyung shrugged so Jimin pouted and started writing again, this time with a rather annoyed expression on his face. Because he couldn't do it instead of his friend, because he couldn't help him with this.
"You have to try Tae, it might be him, it might be both your chances to hear. If it's not, he'll never hear you say it."
And Jimin let him think and drink sink into the warmth of his drink, as he himself finished his coffee and went ahead to pay. So Taehyung waited outside staring at the sky, hoping the comfort of his soundless room would help him make the decision. Sometimes even if he couldn't hear, the emptiness felt loud and hazy. When the two reach their separation point Jimin hands Taehyung a small piece of paper, a KakaoTalk id written on it. In that moment Taehyung's face expressed it all for the first time that day, from shock, to anger, to sorrowful happiness. And Jimin ran away, knowing his friend wouldn't risk talking to curse at him. The black haired boy continuing on his way home as he stared at the name.
Once laying on his bed he searched for Jeongguk and added him, almost immediately regretting his decision. The boy's profile picture was one himself holding two coffee cups that he probably prepared. His cover photo being of a figure froze dancing which Taehyung deduced was him too as Jeongguk's body shape and red stripe caught his attention. Instead of having to think about what he'd say for at least a few hours, he received a message first.
From Jeon-Kook: Taehyung-ah, right? Your friend insisted we keep in touch somehow. You're lucky you made a good impression on me. And that you're still- well, like me.
From TaeTae: I'm so sorry for that, he tends to help me with this sort of stuff since he can handle the world better than- well, we do.
From Jeon-Kook: You're lucky to have him. I wanted to ask, did you ask him to do it or did he do it for you?
From TaeTae: I actually didn't, but it's...complicated.
From Jeon-Kook: Not really, he told me basically everything I need to know. That you're still looking for your soulmate and you think it might be me. I think it might be you too.
From TaeTae: You really do? Then why didn't you say anything?
From Jeon-Kook: I always thought that's not the right way to do it. I mean, if the people don't even know each other they could still grow apart despite being soulmates. I want to fall in love with my soulmate before I can hear his voice and everything. Why didn't you talk?
From TaeTae: I actually kind of never talk, never vocalize anything. I don't want the first thing my soulmate will hear to be a random incoherent greeting. So I guess I kind of agree with you?
From Jeon-Kook: Want to keep talking? To get to know each other? Maybe to fall in love with each other? Maybe to hear each other?
From TaeTae: Yes. Yes. Yes. And yes.
From Jeon-Kook: Okay, to begin with, you already know my name, Jeon Jeongguk. I'm 19 and studying at Seoul's High School of Performing Arts. I'm planning to continue with a dancer career. I'm quite good considering I can't hear the music.
From TaeTae: Nice to properly meet ya. I'm Kim Taehyung. I'm 21, year two at College of Music Seoul National University. I'm going for a composing major with instrumental music and singing minors. I can't yet sing with the others, but I've been told I have a good voice and if I manage to hear until the end of year three I can still finish it and try to catch up.
From Jeon-Kook: Nice to meet you too. You didn't seem shy or anything, well you not talking might have added to it but...My question is, would you mind us meeting again?
From TaeTae: Me and Jimin have been going to that cafe almost daily for the past two years. I wouldn't mind spending some time with you too. He made it happen in the first place so he'll be- happy to hear?
From Jeon-Kook: You're lucky I don't have the morning shifts. See you there tomorrow around noon then?
From TaeTae: Yeah, see you, Kook-ah.
From Jeon-Kook: Hah. Ok, Tae, hyung.
So they met almost everyday since then. Jimin usually came with Taehyung, they drank something then he left and Jeongguk came to him instead with a shy smile on his lips. The first few days they didn't talk much, rather drink and stare, smile and get shy at each other's presence. Then Jeongguk started coming with two pens and notebooks that he'd leave behind at work. They'd pass them around to each other and write questions and answers and random thoughts or facts.
Taehyung learnt that the younger liked the color yellow, winter was his favorite season, he loved hanging out around the sea of Busan as a kid and he's gotten into photography like that. Jeongguk loved the fact that photos didn't rely on sound or explanations to transmit the emotion or vision the photographer had. He was an amateur of course, but he liked playing around with it in his spare time. Taehyung on the other hand let the boy know he liked gray and green, fall and the sky, reading and music even if he couldn't hear it yet.
Soon enough talking about their lives was a thing, the notebooks having been filled and replaced with others in the next few weeks. They also texted each other far too often for it to go unnoticed by the people around them. Jimin stopped spending all days at the cafe with Taehyung, he just accompanied him then went home knowing his best friend is in good hands. They also started hanging out outside Jeongguk's work place. They went to movies, Taehyung picked the younger up from school sometimes, even stopped by to see some of his dance practices. In exchange Jeongguk thought him a few moves, looked over the lyrics of some of Taehyung's favorite songs that yet were only that, even looked at him play and get praised. He couldn't be completely honest when he also clapped for him, but just the way Taehyung looked when playing told him he did good enough to deserve it.
After around a month since knowing each other they were more than comfortable together. Maybe you could say it was all platonic, even the random hugs and hands around the other's shoulder and waist. But then the brushing of skin happened, the cupping of hands and holding hands, the caressing of cheeks and wiping of tears. When Jeongguk told Taehyung to come to his place the both were so nervous, he lived alone and neither knew how to act. Yet they managed, cuddling and fondly smiling at each other. Taehyung held the younger in his arms and stroked his hair while Jeongguk traced circles and lines around his friend's back. 'Cause technically they were still friends, none asking to be more, still none talking.
And it went on, subtle and gentle touches, light kisses on the skin, not yet on the lips. The whole exchange was far from sexual, the two merely enjoying the skin ship and closure. At that point Jeongguk felt ready to take the last and only step, to see if it was all worth it, if they were soulmates indeed or just in love. But Taehyung was far too insecure and anxious. When the younger brought it up the first time Tae took his hand and taught him to do a little thing that'd only be theirs. Their way of reminding the other it's okay, they're together, they're okay. So the handshake came to live, a combination of their signs for "I promise" and "I love you". And each time their pinkies linked small smiles appeared on their lips.
Then in happened, Taehyung asked whether Jeongguk wanted to be his boyfriend. Well, wrote the question and received their first kiss as an answer. It was soft, not too long, not too crazy, just passionate enough to send chills down their spine. And a sound almost escaped their lips as they parted and happily smiled. So they started hanging out with each other's friends too, together, as a couple. They got weird looks from the people that saw the red bracelets around their intertwined hands. And maybe sometimes they gave themselves those looks too.
It was getting colder outside, the winter finally starting to settle in. Despite not handling the chilly air that well, Taehyung spent time walking around with his boyfriend. They were together for the first snow, drinking hot chocolate as they watched from the windows of the Yellow Light. After work Jeongguk dragged Taehyung around and they both took photos around the city. The younger managed to get his boyfriend into photography a little bit too. More into modeling since he liked taking pics of Taehyung, his beauty radiating through every picture.
So they met the next day and looked at the cluster of photos of the then already half melted snow. At first everything seemed normal, everything seemed to blur out around them, it was just them. And their cupped hands laid on the table, the free ones writing down and roaming the mess on the table. The icy pictures made Jeongguk feel lonely so he nuzzled into his boyfriend's shoulder. Then and there Taehyung wished he could say something, actually say it and be heart. He wished it would be easy to say he loved Jeongguk. He wished he could make him feel loved. And his heart sank as he got lost into the feeling, caressing the younger's skin through the fuzzy sweater he was wearing. He didn't even notice the way his boyfriend was pulling at his shirt, the way his ears seemed to throb faintly.
And he got scared at the thought, that maybe they're not soulmates and maybe falling in love was their self-destruction. His eyes hazily roamed around his worried face and Taehyung was almost in tears because he couldn't lose him. Jeongguk contemplated talking then and there. But if his boyfriend wouldn't have heard him he wouldn't want to explain why he's silently crying. And Taehyung took his hand, doing their promise handshake then reading the jumbled up words the younger scribbled when he spaced out.
'What's wrong, hyung?'
'I don't want to lose you, Kookie.' He wrote back with shaky fingers and a sad smile.
'You won't, I promise, even if we're not soulma-'
But he didn't get to finish writing it, because Taehyung got up and started walking towards the door, wiping tears from his eyes to see the way out. Yet he stopped in his tracks far too early.
"Te-yung."
The shaky, loud sound pierced the air like a bullet, yet it didn't hurt. No, it was far from that, it was beautiful, it was. It was everything he had imagined. And he didn't know how long he could hold himself on his feet when the whole cafe started ringing. The static of words and voices he's not used to, the clinking of mugs, the pulling and pushing of chairs and shoes across the marble. The sudden scraping of a chair, the thump of legs, the slight gasp and the smile in his voice. He could hear it before turning to face the wet face and messed up smile. Because Jeongguk knew, Taehyung could hear, could hear him.
So his legs moved on their own and he found himself falling together with his boyfriend, small sobs and smiles filling the air. And Taehyung wanted him to hear them as well. His mind searched for a word, the word he wanted his soulmate to hear first, yet he found more than one.
"L-lov yo"
And that was the first time he heard his voice too, the low soothing tone vibrating in his ears. He smiled and watched the younger's jaw drop, looking around and barely managing to breathe properly. The tears stopped falling at some point, their hugged bodies and wide smiles making the people around them 'aw' as they understood.
It was beautiful, beautiful to hear, to be held, to be in love. They tried to form words and sentences to tell the other how much they love them. How happy they are to be together, that destiny tied them together like that. And they untied the bracelets from the other's wrists, agreeing to replace them soon with something they'd choose together. As a reminder, that they are only starting to get a taste of what life's like, that they're together to get through it. That they're in love.
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