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Finn stood at the top of the ramp, surveying the scene below. They’d landed the Falcon on top of a wooded plateau in a mountain range on some unnamed moon in the Outer Rim. Stopping to catch our breath and figure out our next move, Poe had said. Finn figured they were also stopping because as small as the Resistance now was, having 26 beings all crammed aboard the Falcon was starting to strain even the best of relationships.
He took a deep breath, enjoying the feeling of real air in his lungs.
Off to the right, in the shelter of some dark wine-colored trees, they’d made a fire, and most of the Resistance was huddled around it, talking and drinking and trying to stave off the chill of the night.
Finn wrapped his hands around himself as he started down the ramp. It wasn’t Starkiller-cold, but it was cool enough to make him wish they’d packed some extra jackets. At the base of the ramp, he turned to see Rey and Rose, under the ship, working on a power convertor. They looked beautiful sitting there, laughing, in the orange light of a lantern, BB-8 happily trilling at their sides.
He sighed. He felt a sense of longing, of wanting to be included in whatever it was they were doing, but ever since he and Rose had had the talk—I really like you Rose, but not in that way—he’d been trying to keep a respectful distance. And he couldn’t fault her for falling in with Rey, that was about as natural as fur on a wampa, but it still stung.
Always the outsider, he thought, and then quickly shook his head, trying to hold onto something more positive.
Finn walked to the edge of the plateau to look at the valley below. The nights here weren’t as dark as he’d expected, residual glow from the system’s third sun casting a strange blue glow on everything, but they were long. Someone had said it was winter here. Finn shivered, wondering how beings did it, how they coped with so much darkness and cold.
Of course, I guess there’s all kinds of darkness and cold out in the galaxy.
Finn sighed, shaking his head and trying to refocus. Looking down, he studied the trees, which were tall thin things, and from above, in this half-light, they looked like cloaked figures, swaying to a song that Finn couldn’t quite hear. He supposed it should’ve been ominous, how it looked like they were surrounded, but it didn’t. It felt comforting.
He turned to his left and spotted Poe, alone, stretched out on a rock looking up into the night sky. He smiled and walked over.
“Room up there for one more?”
Poe’s head popped up and he gave Finn a lazy smile. “Sure, buddy.” He scooched over and patted the space he’d just left. “Come aboard.”
Finn climbed up and laid down next to Poe, putting his hands behind his head and trying to ignore the slight chill from the rock. He stared up into the sky and was surprised that even with the residual light from the sun, there were still stars visible.
For a few minutes, they both simply studied the sky in silence. Then, Poe pointed directly overhead. “That bright one, the one that looks nearly green? Beings in this system use that one as the basis of their calendar.” He let his arm fall, and Finn tried to ignore the small thrill he felt when it brushed against his own. “I mean, they’re all on the official Coruscanti calendar these days, but before…and well, I guess a lot of the old-timers and such.” His voice drifted away for a second. “But anyway, that star was the one they based their calendars on, and when it gets to about where it is now, it’s what they call the Alpha and Omega point.”
Finn made an interested noise and Poe continued, “The end of one cycle and the beginning of the next, usually in the fallow months after the harvest and before the next planting. That’s usually a rough time for farming communities.”
Finn nodded. It made sense.
“And during the Alpha/Omega time, they’d have these huge celebrations. Big bonfires and singing and dancing, and on some planets, they’d exchange gifts and whatnot and…” Poe sighed. “It was a time to celebrate in the face of adversary. The end of one thing but the beginning of another.” His voice was barely a whisper as he said, “Hope.”
Finn stared at the star and heard himself repeating, “Hope.”
The chill from the rock and from the night air made him shiver, but staring at that star and thinking about those beings—who probably didn’t know, year to year, if they were going to make it out of the fallow season alive—filled him with an optimism he’d sorely been missing of late. These beings cast aside their fears to come together and celebrate what they did have: each other.
He sat up. “We should do it.”
“Huh?”
Finn looked down at Poe. “We should do it.”
Poe’s mouth fell open. “It?”
“Yeah, have one of those…Alpha/Omega celebrations. The time is about right, yeah?”
“Oh, it,” Poe said, sitting up and scrubbing a hand over his face. “A party.”
“Yeah, what did you think I meant?”
Poe looked at him for a moment and Finn couldn’t read it—Poe looked nearly pained before he schooled a smile on his face and shook his head. “Nothing. Just slow on the uptake.” He brought his knees up and wrapped his arms around them. “A party, eh?” He looked over at the bonfire. “That’s not a bad idea.”
Finn studied Poe, wondering why these days it always felt like Poe was holding something back when they were together. He opened his mouth to say something.
Poe continued. “We’d just need some music and some drinks and…” He shrugged. “We’d probably be killing off our stash of alcohol, but…” He smiled. “No, I like it.” He bumped his shoulder into Finn’s. “Good idea, buddy.” He made to get off the rock and flashed Finn a wide smile, his eyes doing that crinkly thing they did that made Finn’s insides flutter. “Really good idea.”
As Poe walked off into the night, calling Threepio and Ematt over, Finn felt a sense of longing. It wasn’t the same one he felt with Rose and Rey; this one was different, deeper. He wanted something he couldn’t quite name.
As he watched Poe, Threepio, and Ematt go back onboard the ship, Poe’s hands flying about in an animated conversation, Finn pulled his legs up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them. He put his chin on his knees, wishing he could name this feeling that had settled over him and hating how much he missed someone who was only a few feet away.
# # # #
Two nights later, the Resistance was gathered around a huge bonfire, where Poe was once again telling the story of the Alpha/Omega point and the celebrations that used to take place.
“…and so tonight, we’re going to honor that tradition, and have our own Alpha/Omega party. General Ematt has managed to scrounge up some booze and Koo, Nodin, and C’ai have graciously offered up their musical talents.” Poe shrugged. “Basically, it’s a night to honor what has passed and to celebrate what is coming, so let’s get to it!”
With that, a cheer rose among the ranks. The music started and immediately, there were beings jumping up and dancing. Others moved to be first in line for the booze.
Finn stood just outside the festivities, smiling as he watched everyone. Leia came up beside him and said, “Poe tells me this was your idea.”
Finn shrugged. “He told me about the Alpha/Omega point and I figured…” He nodded to the group. “We could all use some hope.”
“Very true,” Leia said. She turned and studied him. “And what are you hoping for, Finn? In the coming year?”
He turned to her, noting the knowing look in her eye. “I don’t know,” he said, uncomfortable under her gaze. He turned back to the party. “An end to the war. An end to the Order.”
“No, I mean, on a personal level,” Leia said. “Be a little selfish. What do you want?”
“Poe,” he said. It was out of his mouth before he’d even had a chance to process what he was saying. He turned to Leia and immediately started fumbling over his words. “I mean… Well, what I mean is that—”
Leia held a hand up. She nodded to where Poe was standing, drink in hand, talking to Ematt. “Go ask him to dance.”
“But…”
Leia gently pushed Finn towards the party. “Go ask him to dance, Commander.”
Finn stumbled and then stopped.
She gave him a kind smile and nodded.
Finn sighed, realizing that that was, indeed, what he really wanted to do. He nodded back to her and turned to face Poe and the party. Hope, he told himself. This is all about hope.
Finn walked over, acutely aware of the moment when Poe spotted him approaching—and subsequently choked on his drink. Ematt was hitting Poe’s back and Poe was sputtering as Finn came close. “You okay,” Finn asked.
“Yeah,” Poe said, still coughing a bit. “Just went down the wrong pipe.”
“It’s not for everyone, son,” Ematt said, taking Poe’s mug away from him.
“Yeah,” Poe said. “Guess I’m out of the habit.” He smiled at Finn.
Finn nodded to the area where beings were dancing. “Uh?” Hope. “Would you like to dance?” He held out a hand.
Poe stared at Finn’s hand, and for one terrible moment, Finn thought the other man was going to refuse, but then Poe gave a small nod and reached out. “Sure, buddy.”
Finn’s face hurt from the smile he was suddenly smiling. “Good,” he said, clasping his hand around Poe’s and dragging him to the dancing area. When they got there, Finn let go of Poe’s hand and turned to face him. He scanned the crowd of dancers and then said, “Kriff.”
“What?”
“I don’t know how to dance.”
Poe let forth a loud chuckle at that. “That’s okay, buddy. I can show you.”
Poe reached out, taking Finn’s left hand in his right and putting his other hand on Finn’s waist. He then nodded at Finn’s right hand. “On my shoulder.”
Finn nodded and moved his hand to Poe’s shoulder. He looked up at Poe, nervous and breathless.
Poe looked the same.
And for a moment, they both just stood there, staring at each other, until Poe closed his eyes and said, “Yeah, um, right. So…” He opened his eyes, nodding down at his feet. “Just follow my steps and we’ll go slow until you’ve got the hang of it, okay?”
“Yeah,” Finn said, bowing his head down.
Thankfully, he was a quick study, and by the end of their first song, Finn felt confident enough in his footwork to look back up at Poe.
Poe smiled. “You’re a natural.”
Finn smiled. “Well, I had a good teacher.”
Poe shook his head. “I’m pretty sure you’re just good at everything.”
Finn ducked his head. “I don’t know about that.”
“I do,” Poe said.
Finn looked back up at Poe and when their eyes met, his chest got tight. He watched Poe’s eyes dart from his own eyes to his lips and back, before Poe seemed to jerk out of whatever trance they were in to look around the party. “Seems like everyone is enjoying themselves.”
“Yeah,” Finn said, trying not to sound disappointed. He spotted Leia in the crowd and she gave him a nod of encouragement.
Hope.
“So, ummmm, Poe?”
“Yeah, buddy?”
“What are you hoping for during this Alpha/Omega season?”
Poe scrunched up his face in thought. “An end to the war. Peace in the galaxy. That Kylo Ren dies a slow horrible death.”
Finn couldn’t help but smile at that. “Yeah, but that’s what we all want. What do you want? For yourself?”
“For myself?”
“Yeah. Be selfish. What’s your heart’s one desire? What would fill you with light during the coming year?”
Their eyes met again.
Poe’s breathing hitched and he stopped dancing. Another couple bumped into them. Poe rattled off a quick apology before stumbling away from the party and into the darkness of the plateau.
Finn stood there, in shock, for a moment before he took off after Poe.
He waited until they were far enough from the party to call out, “Poe! Poe, wait!”
Poe slowed when he was on the far side of their rock. He put his hand on it, his back to Finn. “Finn, buddy, I…”
Finn jogged up and stopped just behind Poe. “What is it?”
“Finn, I just…” He shook his head. “I can’t…”
“Can’t what?”
Poe seemed to crumple in on himself a bit, his free hand flying up to his face. Finn realized he was wiping away tears.
Finn stepped around Poe, gathering him up, and pulling him in. “Poe,” he said, truly afraid that he’d done something wrong, “what is it?”
Poe’s head fell to Finn’s shoulder. He shook it slightly.
Finn held him, softly patting his back for a few moments, before Poe stepped away, wiping his eyes. He had a fake smile on his face. “Sorry about that, buddy. Guess that booze was stronger than I thought, eh?”
“Poe, cut the crap.”
Poe looked startled, like he was about to run. Finn put his hands on Poe’s arms, holding him there. “What is this about?”
“Finn,” Poe breathed out, nearly in agony. “I…I can’t do this.”
“Can’t do what?”
“You,” Poe whispered. His head fell down again.
Finn took a deep breath and then took the biggest risk of his young life. “Poe, I’m pretty sure I love you.” He felt Poe still. “And if I had one wish—one purely selfish wish for the coming year—it would be to have you and love you.”
Finn held his breath.
Poe looked up, his eyes ringed in red. “You love me,” he whispered.
Finn breathed out, loosening his grip on Poe’s arms just a fraction. He smiled. “Yeah.”
Poe straightened up. “You love me,” he said, as if trying to convince himself. He looked Finn in the eye, as if to confirm it. “You love me.” He broke into a huge smile that made Finn feel tingly all over. Poe’s hands grabbed at Finn’s shoulders. “You love me,” he repeated again and this time he laughed.
Finn laughed too.
Poe’s hands dug into Finn’s shirt. “Finn, I…I…” Poe shook his head, searching for words. “Kriff, Finn, I love you more than anything.”
And at that, Finn felt the whole world tilt on its axis.
They were both smiling and laughing and staring at each other with such wonder and elation in their eyes that Finn thought he might burst from the sheer feeling of it.
And then, they were leaning towards each other and Poe’s forehead was on his and their noses brushed and they were both making these happy, little breathless sounds. Finn’s eyes fell shut.
Poe moved his arms up onto Finn’s shoulders and Finn’s hands fell to Poe’s waist and he was nearly drunk on the sensation of it—of having Poe here in his arms, wanting him and loving him and…
Everything is going to work out.
Everything is going to be okay.
And then, their lips were meeting, and that first brief brush of lips left Finn wanting so much more that he leaned back in, pressing just a bit harder, more insistently—trying to tell Poe just how much he wanted him—and Poe’s hands were wrapping around Finn’s neck and Finn was pulling at Poe’s waist, dragging him even closer, and they both kept pressing back in, fitting their bodies together, hands sliding and grabbing, gasping, moaning, and drowning in the sensation…
# # # #
And whether it was minutes or hours later, Finn didn’t know, but they eventually both stepped back, breathless and smiling. Poe ducked his head and brought one hand up to his lips, as if he wanted to be sure what had just happened had really happened. Finn took his other hand, refusing to let their link sever completely. Poe looked up and they were both smiling, making tiny giggling noises. Finn squeezed his hand and Poe squeezed back.
# # # #
Leia had watched Finn and Poe run off about an hour ago, and while she knew that wishes carried no real weight in the galaxy, she still sent one off into the night that those two boys would figure out a way to open up and talk to each other, that they’d find that smidgen of happiness that was going to get them through whatever was going to happen next.
An hour later, she was pleased when she noticed Poe and Finn walking hand-in-hand back towards the Falcon. Leia smiled, warmed by the sight of two beings so clearly in love.
Chewbacca made a noise that shook her from her thoughts and she looked back over at the celebration.
A few days ago, the Resistance had gone through its darkest hour and now, those few who were left were smiling, dancing, and singing into the night. Others, she noted, as Finn and Poe slipped out of sight, were risking their hearts to go after what they wanted, for what would make them happy and whole.
It was a shining testament to who they were and what they believed in.
It was proof that with hope and dedication, even out of the most bitter darkness, there can come a light.
“To the Resistance,” someone in the group shouted.
“To the Resistance,” came the resounding answer.
“To the Resistance,” Leia repeated. “To the coming light.”