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“F*ck you Evan!” He spit out the words like poison and stormed off. Jared ignored Evan, and everybody else, for the rest of the day. When he finally got home from school, he flopped onto his bed… and finally let the angry tears start to flow.
Why did anything that Evan said have an affect of him? Who cared anyway? After all, Jared realized, it was him who encouraged Evan to start this, and it was Jared who agreed to help when Evan screwed it up. But man, hearing Evan insult him like that… It still hurt.
But could he really blame him? Jared insulted Evan all the time. Made fun of his crushes, interests, hobbies, anxiety, he invalidated their relationship at every opportunity, and yet he was somehow surprised, and even hurt, when Evan finally stood up for himself and fought back.
“I deserve this…” Jared thought glumly.
Jared’s inner monologue was interrupted by a notification on his phone. He picked it up and read what was on the screen: 1 notification from The Connor Project
Jared sighed. “Was it an announcement of him being kicked off the team?” he wondered aloud as he opened the notification.
Post by Admin: Alana Beck
Dear Connor Project Community,
Connor’s note is a message to all of us. Share it with as many people as you can. Post it everywhere. If you’ve ever felt alone like Connor, please consider making a donation to the Connor Project Memorial Orchard. No amount is too small.
1 Document Attached
“What the… Why would Evan let Alana post this?” Jared wondered. “Unless…” Jared’s eyes widened. Surely not even Alana would…
Jared called Alana, and she picked up right away.
“Hello Jared.” she said, sounding chipper. “Have you seen? New donations are already flowing in again! I told Evan this would work.”
Jared took a breath, trying not to make any assumptions. “Alana, did Evan tell you that you could post… Connor’s suicide note?”
There was silence on the other end, before she answered him nervously. “Well, not exactly. Evan showed me the note because I wasn’t sure if he and Connor were really friends. He said he didn’t want it to be made public, but I knew this was the best way to get people interested again!”
“Alana…” Jared had to stop to keep himself from screaming at her over the phone. “That was really messed up.” his anger was still clear in his voice.
Alana became defensive. “Not you too Jared, this is for the best. You’ll see! Once we reach our goal…”
“No Alana!” Jared interrupted. “You posted someone’s suicide note without the permission, even against the wishes, of the person it was meant for and Connor’s family! And you did it to guilt trip people into donating money! I mean, what the hell?!!”
“But…” Alana began, “I was just…” she stopped, obviously trying to think of a way to defend what she did.
“Whatever, I sure hope you know what you’re doing, because I don’t want any part of it.” said Jared, and before Alana could respond, he hung up.
Jared couldn’t help but feel relieved that he was able to leave the Connor Project without having to explain himself. He wondered what Evan would do about all this.
Whatever. That’s his problem now.
The next day, Jared woke up to find tons of notifications on his phone from the Connor Project, because of course Alana hadn’t removed him yet. Jared was surprised that the new post was almost as popular as Evan’s speech, and that there were tons of shares and comments. Also, the donation goal had been reached. Of course…
Jared shut off the notifications to the blog, and decided to see what the comments were like. To his shock and horror, most of them were hate directed at the Murphy family. Blame, accusations, and insults… Damn, even he’d never say some of this stuff.
Before he could think of something to do next, his bedroom door opened, and his mom poked her head in. “Jared, there’s someone here to see you.” she said with a grin. “A girl!”
Jared’s mouth fell open in surprise, and he walked out of his room and down the hall. There, sitting on the couch, was Alana. He let out an exasperated sigh, knowing that she was probably here to tell him the “good news” and convince him to rejoin. He was about to tell her exactly what he thought about that, when she saw him, stood, and burst into tears.
“Oh my god Jared, d-did you s-see th-the comments on… on C-Connor’s note?!” she said, still crying. “Th-this is all my fault! I had NO idea this would h-h-happen…”
Jared was shocked. He was very rarely around someone who was crying. Well, except for Evan, but never in this type of situation. He was at a loss.
“I can’t imagine what this is doing to… to Connor’s family. I d-don’t know what to do!” Alana cried. She took a breath and sunk back down onto the couch.
Jared, slightly uncomfortable, sat down on the couch next to her and gently put his hand on her shoulder. “Calm down Alana. It’s okay…” he said, trying to be comforting.
Alana looked up at him. “No it’s not! I… I did something horrible!” she yelled.
Jared sighed. “Well, yeah. What you did was pretty messed up, but it’s not the end of the world.” he paused, knowing that probably sounded wrong. “You can fix this.”
Alana wiped her eyes. “H-how?” she asked.
“Well, what do celebrities do when they make a mistake? They post a public apology, and apologize in person sometimes… You could do both!” responded Jared.
Alana’s eyes widened. “How can I face Connor’s family after what I did?”
Jared shrugged. “The same way you do everything Alana… Genuinely.” he surprised even himself when he said that. A compliment? Since when did he do that? He’d been friends with Evan his whole life and all he did was insult him, and now he was complimenting someone who had just screwed up… well, just as much as Jared did.
He was cut off from his thoughts by Alana speaking. “Yeah… Yeah, I just have to do it genuinely. Own up to my mistakes, and maybe I can fix it.” she said with confidence.
Jared couldn’t help but roll his eyes at her sudden optimism, although still relieved, and was about to stand when Alana suddenly gave him a hug. He sat there, feeling very surprised, and a little uncomfortable.
“Thank you Jared. You’re such a great friend!” Alana said, before standing and walking to the front door. “Well, bye. Thanks again for the advice!” Then she was gone.
Jared still sat on the couch, trying to process what just happened. He was a good friend? That was something he never thought he’d hear. Because… No, he wasn’t a good friend at all. Jared knew that he’d been a jerk to Evan, like, all the time. Of course, Evan had been a jerk to him too. Jared realized they were both in the same boat now. Maybe fixing mistakes wasn’t such a bad idea…
Jared laughed. Who knew that Alana Beck would help Jared figure out what to do about Evan? Life can be strange like that sometimes. He went back to his room, already anticipating the talk he would have with Evan at school on Monday. Just… Be genuine