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The sky was covered in a thick layer of clouds that poured down rain that settled like a mist over the ravine that held Thunderclan camp. Every cat was huddled in dens or taking shelter at the edges of camp that were sheltered by leaves and branches. Everything was cold, wet and just gloomy in general.
Thistleclaw was crouched under the high rock. His thick grey-and-white pelt clumped together instead of becoming soaked, letting the cold drizzle to touch his skin and chill him to the bone. He couldn’t stay in his nest though. It was too quiet in the warriors’ den. The mist muted most sounds except for the drip drip of water rolling off of the top of the den and landing along the sides. It repetition of the noise grated on his nerves. Not to mention the fact that he couldn’t stand sleeping during the day. It made him feel tired and groggy instead of refreshed and bouncing with energy.
Thistleclaw couldn’t help but miss those days where he was bouncing with energy as an apprentice. His tail curled at the fond memories.
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“Snowpaw come on!’’ Bluepaw called, spinning around in circles in search for her sister. It was around sun high and the three had been out playing games all day. Much to bluepaw disapproval, Thistlepaw came along. They were supposed to be playing chase but Snowpaw and Thistleclaw had disappeared and told her to wait there for a few minutes. Bluepaw had begrudgingly agreed and watched as their pelts disappeared into the foliage. It had been a good few minutes and the blue-grey apprentice was now scanning the undergrowth for her sister.
In reality though, Snowpaw wasn’t on the ground at all.
She was sitting on a low hanging branch over Bluepaw next to Thistlepaw, a paw over her mouth to stifle her giggles. Thistlepaw beamed at her then looked back down to Bluepaw. He could tell she was becoming aggravated now from the way her pelt bristled and her tail lashed .She plopped down on her hunches with a noise of discontent.
“NOW!!”
They leaped down and ran towards Bluepaw at top speed. Thistlepaw got there first, bowling the startled apprentice over. They rolled together for a moment, the grey-and-white apprentice laughing happily as he came out on top. He pinned Bluepaw down by the shoulders and beamed down at her. “Got you!” He mewled triumphantly.
Only Bluepaw wasn’t smiling.
Without warning she kicked him in the gut as hard as possible with her hind paws. Thistlepaw hissed in pain as he was thrown off of her. He landed on his back, his head smacking the ground painfully. Weezing, he rolled to his side as he tried to regain his breath.
“Bluepaw! Why would you do that?!” Snowpaw cried as she rushed to his side. If Bluepaw said something but she wasn’t listening.
“I’m okay, really Snowpaw.” Thistlepaw muttered weakly while she hovered over him, unsure what to do. He rolled to his feet and coughed a few times.
“We should get you to goosefeather.”
“No really, I’m fine.” Thistlepaw smiled at her. He shook out his pelt, already feeling better. He looked over at Bluepaw to see her glaring at him. Blinking in surprise he took a step towards her, only for her to hiss. “If you’re so set on using me as the tail end of your jokes, just leave me out of them.”
And with that she was gone.
Snowpaw stared after him, her head tilted to the side in confusion. When she caught him looking at her she smiled at him. “She’s just mad because she wasn’t involved in the joke. We can bring her a thrush later and apologize.”
Thistlepaw was still unsure. Snowpaw must have sensed this because she was twining her tail with his and pushing her head under his chin. His worries melted away like they always did when her scent blocked out everything else. The forest was suddenly brighter and the birds seemed to chirp louder.
He wished it could stay like that for just a while longer.
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Thistleclaw tail suddenly lashed. He gritted his teeth against the absolute agony that pierced his heart. He missed her, he missed her so much. It still felt like a claw was piercing his heart even though it had been so many seasons since she had been drug into camp. He would never forget how she looked that day, her ribs caved in and blood staining the fur around her nose, mouth and ears.
He would never forget the sightless horrified expression that was frozen on her face.
Never forget the shriek of grief that Whitekit let out as he ran out from behind the nursery, Bluefur in tow.
Never forget the pure rage he felt when he saw Bluefur staring down at her sister with nothing in her eyes.
He remembered raking his claws over her muzzle in furry
He remembered leaving camp for the rest of the day and coming back with three torn claws.
He remembered Whitekit falling asleep during the vigil and leaning against his flank as he drifted off.
He remembered sitting vigil for her and cleaning the blood from her face.
He wished he could forget that day. But he couldn’t.
He shook his head, dislodging the memories. There was no use in reminiscing in things he couldn’t change. There was only now, and the future depended on that. His tail lashed through the grey mush the wet dust from the high rock created. His amber gaze turned to the large rock and a yearning tugged at his heart. No not his heart, his very soul .
He could imagine himself up there, Tigerclaw standing under him as he addressed the clan. Thunderclan would be respected, even feared in some eyes. Rivil clans would beg for his help in battle. RiverClan would give up the sunning rocks, and WindClan would cower away. His back straightened at the thought, a prideful smile stretching across his face.
Best of all, Snowfur would still be at his side. She would sleep with him in the leaders den, she would protect his back in battle, she would supply food for the clan.
Oh how he missed Snowfur.
His shoulders dropped and his ears pinned themselves to his head. He felt like he had just been hit by a monster. (just like her ) Heart throbbing he searched the camp for something, anything to distract himself from his mind.
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Bluestar laid in her nest with her paws tucked under her chest. It was cold but dry inside of her den. Her nest was warm though, that made her content enough to doze through the day. She was in a light nap when the lichen stirring woke her.
She was very surprised to see Thistleclaw standing there, still half in the rain, in his mouth a wet thrush.
“Thistleclaw,” she nodded in greeting, motioning him to come in with a tail wave. He never came into her den without a purpose, yet she saw no urgency to his movements as he walked forward and set down the bird.
“I would say that I’m surprised but that would be an understatement.” Though her words were amused her tone wasn’t. Thistleclaw still made her fur stand up, even though their rivalry had ended seasons ago. Something about the way he stared at the high rock, or the bitterness his voice held whenever he spoke to her unsettled her still.
But now when he spoke his voice was quiet and only a soft gravely whisper.
“I miss her.”
That’s what made him come to her den? Really? Out of all the things he could have said? Did he not think she felt the same way? Was he just trying to play with her emo-
Then their eyes met and her mind was silenced. Amber pools of sorrow and pain met blue orbs of wisdom and sadness.
Pain tore at Bluestar’s heart, an agony she repressed many years ago reopened like a wound. Her eyes became misty with tears that boiled over. A choked sob echoed through the den and she didn’t know it belonged to.
All she knew was that she was on her feet and her head was under his chin as they cried together, their shared pain keeping them grounded to the earth.