Work Text:
Finding, searching, looking.
Jongin traveled from place to place doing what he loves, enjoying every minute of it because that is what he was born to do at the tender age of eight. But as the seasons change, leaves falling down and were reborn once again, he began his search for something that his heart always craved for the moment he turned nineteen – his soulmate.
It wasn’t easy, really. He was impatient, he kept on looking everywhere he went; looking for that particular glow that perfectly matches with his. You see, when you find your soulmate, your heart glows a shade only you two share. A different type of color that glows brighter when the relationship becomes deeper, and turns into a dull, monochrome color when one dies – even if they haven’t met yet.
He knew about soulmates at the age of four, asking his parents why their hearts are on a bright shade of fuchsia every single time they talk about their marriage.
“Jongin, honey, it’s because we’re soulmates.” His mother explained, caressing his son’s cheek while they comfortably sat on the swing outside their home.
His father chuckled at his son’s curiosity. “When you find a girl that makes your heart glow in a beautiful color only you both have, she’s the person you’re going to love forever.” He added.
“But what if he’s a boy?” Jongin asked, head tilting a little because of curiosity.
“A boy or a girl, it doesn’t matter.” His mother said.
“What matters is that you’re happy with that person.” His father stated. “And of course, that person is happy with you as well.”
Today was their last day and last stop for their world tour. Everyone was ecstatic yet a little sad, because they have been each other’s rocks for a considerable amount of time. They were doing their jobs diligently and wanted the last stop to be the most special one, considering that they put a lot of effort in the other concerts as well.
Jongin was welcomed with the cold air of Seoul, taking deep breaths and closing his eyes – indeed missing the place he grew up to after traveling around the world. He felt something good today which he couldn’t point out, but he shrugged off at the thought and continued on, taking a short rest before rehearsing for the final show.
-
On the other side of the city, Kyungsoo was stuck with his closest friend, Jongdae. Begging him to tag along at EXO’s upcoming concert.
“Kyungsoo, you have to go with me!” Jongdae whined. “I know it’s not on your bucket list thing but it’s their last stop, and it’s going to be special!”
“Even if I go with you, tickets are sold out, Jongdae.” Kyungsoo replied, completely uninterested of what his friend Jongdae was saying. “If I say yes, even if it’s the last minute, will you stop whining for fuck’s sake?”
“So,” Jongdae started, “you’re down?”
“Ugh, yes. You can’t buy extra tickets on the venue anyway. Now I’ll go t-”
“You underestimate me sometimes.” Jongdae rolled his eyes. “I bought us tickets a week ago, I got good seats. Dress nicely, meet you at five!” He said as he shut the door, Kyungsoo heard him clapping in amusement outside the hallway.
Kyungsoo stood in disbelief, he knew EXO is still the biggest group out there and it’s basically a warzone every time they announce something, so it’s actually surprising that his friend managed to get tickets. He sat at his bed for a while and contemplated on what he’s going to wear. He wanted to dress nicely even if Jongdae didn’t say it – like there was something bound to happen and he can’t tell what it was. In the end, he decided to dress casually and fixed himself, preparing for the night ahead of him.
It was fifteen minutes before the time Jongdae assigned came, and Kyungsoo can’t help but to look at the window, letting him see the garden in front of the building he’s in.
As per usual, the garden was filled with people of all ages. His smiled at the sight of the visible glow old people had, meaning that they have managed to stay strong until the very end – like fate decided to match them up and give them the happy ending they deserve.
But not all endings are happy endings, because even if there were glowing people in different colors out there, he just saw another man walking alone, heading to the park’s exit. A monochrome shade visible on his coated figure, Kyungsoo’s smile faded, because the thought of someone losing their soulmate brings him sadness, knowing that fate didn’t decide to keep them together for so long – or didn’t let them meet to the point where one’s significant other took their last breath without knowing the person he or she shared it with.
Love and soulmates wasn’t just a small thing for Kyungsoo. He just looks like he doesn’t care – but deep inside he does. It wasn’t his priority just yet – it never appeared on his priority list, even – or that’s what he likes to think.
His thoughts were interrupted as he heard the loud knocks from the other side of the door. “Kyungsoo, are you ready?!” Jongdae yelled.
Kyungsoo opened the door, “lower your voice down, Jongdae!” He hissed. “You’re interrupting sleeping people!”
-
“Good evening, everyone!” Junmyeon greeted. “This is the last stop for our tour, it’s a bit sad because we will miss performing, but we promise to be back once again!”
The rest continued to talk and Jongin was in his own little world, staring at the crowd in awe (and probably for the chance to find his soulmate).
“So, Jongin.” Minseok said, bringing Jongin back to reality. “Would you like to announce the next song?” The latter chucked, embarrassed that he was caught not paying attention.
“Of course, our next song is Growl!”
Fanchants echoed through the arena as the group performed as if it’s their second nature. Everyone was seen jumping or enjoying the song, the breathtaking sea of cosmic latte and a few glows here and there along with the chromatic lights filled the arena. Everyone was indeed having a good time.
Jongin felt something good about this performance, his heart was beating fast not just because of dancing, but for something rather more exciting. He finished the last line of the song as he stared at the crowd once again, making eye contact with a person with charming eyes – like there was a connection between them, a start of something new.
The boy he saw seemed to notice that in a sea of hundreds, they managed to find each other. Like fate has decided to keep them together even with a fair distance apart. Everything seemed to fade away as the other smiled, it was the brightest smile Jongin has ever seen.
Looks like Jongin just met the person he was looking for, longing for – his soulmate.
He then saw something bright glow on his heart, a glow that he promised himself that will be brighter when he sees it for the first time.
-
Kyungsoo smiled at – who he knew the real name was – Jongin. He was quite shocked that he stared at the section he’s in, thinking that he’s smiling at all the fans there. Out of instinct, he waved his hand at him while smiling. As he watched him perform, there was something about him that stands out from the others. Not because of the way he looks nor the way he danced, but for the way he managed to pull Kyungsoo’s heart in a small place that was meant for just the two of them.
During the performance, Jongdae was cheering while waving his lightstick, forgetting to get Kyungsoo one earlier but with an alibi of “it’s the only time you’ll go to their concert anyway”.
“He's glowing?!” The crowd whispered in disbelief, erupting in loud screams thereafter. Jongin, who knew about the whole situation and back to his senses, just smiled.
The music has stopped and the lights where focused on the people onstage. The screams were the only thing audible in the arena.
“Soo!” Jongdae was shaking his friend’s shoulder while looking at Jongin, “he's fucking glow–” that was until he faced his friend and he froze on the spot.
Kyungsoo didn’t notice that the person he was staring at actually glowed. “What?” Kyungsoo asked, annoyed.
Jongdae pointed at his friends’ heart, “y-you're glowing too, and it’s the same color.” The shade of turquoise.
Kyungsoo didn’t know whether to cry because he found his soulmate on the place he wasn’t expecting, and heck, he was the person onstage – or run away because this wasn’t supposed to happen.
The biggest things in life happen in the times we didn’t expect it to happen, and Kyungsoo decided to do both; grabbing his friend’s arm, they ran out of the venue as fast as he could, even before other people managed to capture a picture of him.
“You piece of shit.” Jongdae slapped his friend’s leg, “those tickets were expensive and you made me tired for running that fast!”
“I–didn’t know what to do, Dae.” Kyungsoo was trying his best to catch his breath. “I’m sorry.”
They were back in Kyungsoo’s room, warm light engulfing the white walls that overlooked the vast night sky.
“It’s alright. I was just kidding!” Jongdae tried to lighten up his friend’s mood, “I feel like I’d do the same when I meet my soulmate as well.”
Kyungsoo sighed and lied on his bed, closing his eyes and processing what just happened earlier. “This is fucked up in all levels.”
“What are you going to do?” Jongdae asked. “Apparently, your soulmate is a superstar and there are millions of people willing to die just to be in your position – but you ran away.”
“I’ll think of a better solution tomorrow.” Kyungsoo said. “For now, I’m exhausted and it’s not good.”
Jongdae understood and stood up from Kyungsoo’s bed. “Alright, I’ll be going then, take care of yourself!”
“You too, Dae.”
-
“I couldn’t believe your soulmate just ran away like that.” Junmyeon said. “If that was mine, I married that person on the spot!” He joked.
“Ha, that’s so funny, hyung.” Jongin sarcastically replied to a laughing Junmyeon, obviously amused of his own joke.
They were back in their dormitory the day after the concert where Jongin saw his soulmate for the first time. It was a whirlwind of feelings – now he had to find him whatever it takes.
“What were the features you remember? Actions?” Yixing asked.
“His head is shaved, he has beautiful eyes, and I think his lips are heart-shaped.” Jongin replied, his soulmate’s image flashing on his mind. “He waved at me as well.”
“It’s detailed but still lacking in a way.” Minseok said, “But I’m sure you’ll find him – he can’t hide forever.”
“What do you plan to do?” Chanyeol asked. “Social media is blowing up, my Instagram comments were about your soulmate.”
“And the general media won’t stop talking about it too.” Baekhyun added.
“Of course the general media won’t miss this type of headline.” Sehun stated.
“But if it helps me find him, I’ll do whatever it takes.” Jongin sighed, “Besides, who doesn’t want a little chase?”
-
“Good morning, chicken!” Jongdae chirped as he opened the door to Kyungsoo’s room, “Ever planned on revealing yourself to the public?”
It was a week after the incident and it was still all over the news. Kyungsoo didn’t go out of his room for the whole week; it was like his legs didn’t want to move at all. His mind was a jumble of thoughts and emotions as he realized what just happened.
Instead of an answer, what Jongdae got was a flying sock with something sturdy inside; fortunately dodging from it.
“That was a close one.” Kyungsoo muttered.
Jongdae picked the sock up and placed it on a counter, “You almost hit me with a sock with a can inside, didn’t you?” He rolled his eyes and sat on the chair near the bed. “Seriously though, you can’t keep making Jongin wait forever.”
After Jongdae’s statement was the deafening silence. Kyungsoo’s mind that was once full of clutter was finally made up. Jongdae was right – he couldn’t keep on hiding forever. That’s just a waste of precious time.
“What were the contact details you told me yesterday, again?” He finally said, breaking the silence.
“Thank god.” Jongdae replied, pulling out his phone. “Here, give him the answer he needs.”
Kyungsoo copied the number on his phone, staring at it for a few seconds before pressing the call. “Hello, this is SM Entertainment. May we please know your name and intention? Thank you.” The other line greeted.
“Hi. My name is Do Kyungsoo and…” He was hesitant of what he’s about to say next. “I’m Kim Jongin’s soulmate.”
“So are other hundred people who called today, Mr. Do.” The person from the other line sighed, “What makes you different from the others?”
Kyungsoo was rather annoyed; it was harder than he thought he would be. “I was in Section 13, Seat A12, my hair is shaved and if it helps, my lips are said to be heart-shaped.” He answered. “Is that enough?”
The person from the other line was silent. The criteria they were looking for was met, but still needs confirmation that only Jongin could know. “I’ll connect the phone call to Kim Jongin, please wait for a moment.”
-
The phone rang from their dorm and Jongin took the fastest run he ever took in his life just to answer it.
“Hello?”
“Hi. Is this Jongin?” The other line asked, his voice was velvety and relaxing, as if it cured diseases back then.
“Yes.” Jongin was breathless.
“This is Do Kyungsoo, I was in Section 13, Seat A12…”
“What color did you see when you glowed?” Jongin abruptly asked.
“Turquoise.” The other replied.
“What did you do when you see me?”
“I waved, I thought you were staring at the whole section.”
The line went silent for a few seconds. “It’s you.” He whispered.
“I’m sorry it took me so long to contact you. Is meeting up for hot drinks sound good?” Kyungsoo asked.
Jongin couldn’t hide his smile. “It sounds wonderful, Kyungsoo.”
“Hi.” The two said in unison.
It was a day after Kyungsoo had the courage to talk to Jongin on the phone, deciding to go out for drinks on a small shop a little far from the city so there wouldn’t be any commotion. Comforting jazz music filled the almost-empty café as the two were face-to-face; the distance was closer than they were at the concert.
“Looks like I have to come clean, then.” Kyungsoo chuckled and looked down on his cup of coffee. Jongin was in awe because his soulmate is too adorable.
Jongin stirred his hot cocoa, his right elbow is placed on the table and his palms were on his cheeks with his head tilted, admiring his soulmate. “Go on.”
“I don’t really know how to explain it – I think I was too scared or too surprised to think of a good reaction so I just ran away.” Kyungsoo said as he took a sip of his coffee, making eye contact. “I apologize.”
“It’s alright.” Jongin said without any hesitation. “I’m not comfortable with meeting new people as well especially with the pressure of a large amount of people.” He explained. “But my work makes it hard for me.” He rolled his eyes and giggled.
And it was the most adorable sight Kyungsoo has ever seen – out of all people, why was he his soulmate? What did he do that made the gods give him Kim Jongin?
“Sucks to be you.” He smiled. “My introverted ass was challenged by my bucket list so I have to explore.”
“You have a bucket list?!” Jongin was ecstatic, he had a bucket list too before debut, but were long forgotten because of his busy schedule.
“Um,” Kyungsoo started, embarrassed. “Yes.”
“Don’t be embarrassed about it!” The other cheered, “Can I see it?”
Kyungsoo nodded and brought out a folded piece of paper, handing it to Jongin who carefully opened and analyzed it. “You haven’t been in an amusement park?!” He asked in disbelief, staring at Kyungsoo with sparkling eyes.
“Sadly, no. That’s why I wanted to go.”
“It looks like I have a mission, then!” Jongin announced. “As your soulmate, I will assign myself to help you complete your bucket list whatever it takes!” He said gleefully, then realizing that he probably made the latter uncomfortable due to his excitement. “If that’s… okay with you?” He asked.
“No worries!” Kyungsoo beamed. “Let’s plan it out, then!”
If only you knew, Jongin. If only you knew.
-
Kyungsoo’s bucket list – One: Go cliff diving.
“I never expected this to be this huge!” Kyungsoo said in disbelief, his heart raced as he was welcomed by the cold breeze of the sky, completely overlooking the thought that cliff diving near winter is indeed a bad idea.
“Are you sure about this? It’s a little cold!” Jongin shivered while looking at Kyungsoo.
Jongin immediately made his decision of spending his two weeks’ worth of free time by being with Kyungsoo, he told his parents what happened and they pushed him to spend it with his soulmate to know him better. They were now near the cliff overlooking the sea, about to cross out one activity in Kyungsoo’s bucket list.
“I’ve never been so sure in my whole life, Jongin!” Kyungsoo beamed. He couldn’t stop smiling as if it’s the first time for a long time that he’d seen the sea – completely in awe of how vast and beautiful it is.
He saw how captivated his soulmate was on the sight of the blue waves calmly engulfing the seashore, so he decided to go. “Let’s go then!”
They were both in swim trunks and a white shirt, standing at the edge of the cliff while the scent of the clear blue sea entered their nostrils.
“Ready?”
“As I’ll ever be.”
Kyungsoo’s bucket list – Seven: Go to a haunted house
After cliff diving, bungee jumping, screaming at the top of your lungs in a car rooftop, and a couple of heart-racing activities later, Kyungsoo wanted to go to a haunted house.
“You’re going to kill me.” Jongin replied as he observed the haunted house’s exterior.
“That’s the reason why it’s in my bucket list.” Kyungsoo joked, Jongin staring at him with annoyance. “Kidding, Jingo.”
“Jingo?” The other repeated. Cute.
“Yep.” Kyungsoo replied, popping the ‘p’. “Let’s go!”
It wasn’t scary for Kyungsoo, it’s was just merely suspenseful. He found it amusing that Jongin was clinging on him for dear life while screaming every time a ‘ghost’ touches his arm or surprises him. Keeping in mind how cute the view is. They were halfway through the end and the older thought of something to make the experience more amusing for him, at least.
“I think after that door is a jumpscare.” He whispered to Jongin who was embracing his arm. “Wait for me before the door, I’ll call you when the coast is clear.”
Scared, the latter nodded in agreement. “Okay.” Then slowly removed his shaking arms off the other’s and Kyungsoo made his way out, trying to hold back laughter.
A few minutes later he’s still wondering why Jongin hasn’t been out yet and he’s starting to feel worried. What the fuck have I done? He said to himself as his heart raced once again. This is a bad joke.
Before he contemplated on coming back, he heard Jongin screaming his name, getting louder every second. “Kyungsoo? Kyungsoo!” – He sighed in relief, he’s alright.
The door flew open, revealing a distressed Jongin who was in tears. Immediately seeing Kyungsoo and running towards him, attacking him with a big hug. “I thought I lost you.” He said as he playfully slapped the other’s shoulder as he continued hugging him.
His hug was warmer than a cup of coffee Kyungsoo loved, his heart fluttering at the thought of Jongin who cared for him. It’s safe to admit that Jongin isn’t hard to love, and Kyungsoo found himself falling harder just like what fate ordered them to.
“You’re shortening my life span dramatically, Jingo.” He joked.
Kyungsoo’s bucket list – Eight: Ride all amusement park rides in one day
This is just like from that one fanfiction. Jongin thought to himself as he read the statement and buying tickets for the both of them even if Kyungsoo insisted on paying.
As days pass, unbeknownst to the both of them, the glows become stronger and more vibrant; indicating that their connection becomes deeper than before. There may be no exchange of words to confirm their feelings, but it takes an ignorant man to not realize that they are indeed the perfect pair, soulmates or not.
It was a school day so the majority of fans aren’t around. Parents with their children were seen roaming around the amusement park as well as tourists. Jongin wore a cap and sweater while Kyungsoo wore his favorite hoodie.
They bought potato swirls and soda while taking a break, sitting on a nearby bench, a child came up to them.
“Why are you glowing?” The child asked cutely, her head tilting a little.
Kyungsoo just chuckled in amusement. “It’s because we’re soulmates.” He smiled, looking at Jongin. “What’s your name?”
“My name is Eun Jung.” She smiled, a couple of her teeth were missing. “What are soulmates?” She asked once more.
This time, Jongin answered. “It’s hard to explain. But in order to find your soulmate, when you see each other for the first time, your heart will glow in a beautiful color only you two have.” He said as the girl nodded. “Don’t worry, you’ll find your soulmate when you grow up!” He said as he patted her head.
“Eun Jung, don’t disturb them!” A lady in her late thirties scolded the child and grabbed her arm. “I’m sorry for making Eun Jung disturb you two.” She apologized.
“Ah, it’s alright!” Kyungsoo said, “She’s just curious.” He added.
“Thank you!” Eun Jung said enthusiastically and waved good bye.
“She was just like me when I was young.” Jongin said, remembering his childhood days.
“Tell me more about it soon.” Kyungsoo smiled.
They were down to their last ride – the tunnel of love. As cliché or as typical as it seemed, it was the perfect ride to end such adventure. They were soulmates, after all; so a scenario like this is expected, right?
They went inside the ride and found their seat at the end, the people along them were glowing as well. Kyungsoo looked around the area, entertained of how it was decorated. The lights were in a dim and pink color, sending off a romantic atmosphere.
The ride started to move and romantic music filled the air. Kyungsoo didn’t know Jongin was staring at him all this time, because the most beautiful sight for Jongin wasn’t the ride’s appearance, but the person who he’s riding it with.
Taking a break from all the work of being a superstar was very relaxing for Jongin, and spending his time with his supposed soulmate made it all better. Little did he know, good things come to an end – and their love story was no exception.
“Aren’t you tired of my face already?” Kyungsoo asked, a hint of playfulness visible in his statement.
“Why would I be?” Jongin asked back, the smile on his face cannot be erased.
The two went silent as they stared at each other like it was just the both of them. Everything was a blur and the only clear thing that Jongin can see is Kyungsoo – and Kyungsoo feels the same.
That’s where they shared their first kiss – the glow they have overpowering every glow visible in that ride.
-
“You have to tell him.” Jongdae stated. “It’s unfair for his side that he doesn’t know.”
They were at Jongdae’s apartment, Kyungsoo was sharing what happened to him and Jongin and his bucket list was about to be completed.
“I can’t find the courage, Dae.” Kyungsoo answered. “It will ruin everything.”
“When are you going to tell him? When you have a hundred heartbeats left?” He was taken aback at his friend’s statement; not used to Jongdae snapping like that. “He deserves to know, Soo. It may seem shitty because he’s expecting a lifetime with you but you can only give him a few more days.” He explained. “He even indirectly helped you shorten your life span by doing heart-racing activities – it’s unfair for him! Isn’t he aware that you practically lived in the hospital while waiting for your life to end – oh right, you told him you lived here! You lied about your health, making it seem like you’re alright and all but you’re not. He deserves to know the truth, Kyungsoo!”
The room went dead silent for a while, the tension between the two becoming thicker every second. “I’m sorry, Jongdae.” Kyungsoo whispered, looking down on the carpeted floor.
“Soo,” Jongdae said softly, contradictory to what his tone was earlier. “I never want you to feel more burdened. Keep that in mind. I just want the best for you two – and that includes being honest even if it hurts.” He explained. “You only have three hundred thousand heartbeats left as of last night, you roughly have two days left. Make the most of it, alright?”
“Okay.”
Little did they know, Jongin heard everything from the other side of the door. Bouquet of roses are now lying on the ground and heavy footsteps were heard running out of the building.
-
“Jongin,” Kyungsoo said, calling the attention of the person beside him who was looking anywhere but him. “Jongin.” He repeated.
It was a day after Kyungsoo and Jongdae had the conversation. They were at the rooftop of Jongdae’s apartment, sitting in a small bench surrounded with flowers. Kyungsoo wasn’t able to reach Jongin’s number after numerous texts – thinking he was busy. In reality, Jongin spent the rest of that day crying.
The younger took a deep breath before facing Kyungsoo. “Yes?”
“I have to tell you–”
“I know.” Jongin stated without any emotion. “I heard you and Jongdae yesterday.”
Kyungsoo was dead silent thereafter. He didn’t know how to react. The pain was visible in Jongin’s eyes and he can tell that the other has been crying. “I’m so sorry.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” He asked, eyes pleading for an answer. It’s like he has been wronged; but was there something he can do?
“I don’t want you to look at me any different.” Kyungsoo tried to explain himself. “I’m so sorry, Jongin. Let me explain.”
The younger stayed silent, indicating that Kyungsoo can tell his story.
“Our heartbeats are indicated the day we are born. One different from the other, as usual. It is mostly accurate, unless one dies in an accident. Unfortunately, mine is lower than others – meaning, I don’t get to live long than the rest of you.” He started, “I lived my whole life not being able to experience heart-racing activities, not doing physical activities that requires a lot of effort, in fear of living shorter. I stayed in a hospital when I reached eighteen to monitor how many beats I have left. When I reached twenty and still haven’t glowed, I decided to just spend the rest of my days doing everything I limited myself from; hence, my bucket list was born.” He explained. “Meeting you was one of my unmade plans, Jongin. It seems like I can’t turn back time to bring back all the heartbeats I have wasted, I’m sorry.” Kyungsoo felt tears trickle down his face, his heart aching at the sight of his soulmate who is devastated. Angry at himself for not being able to spend a lifetime with him and not telling him the truth beforehand.
“That’s why you told me I’m shortening your life span dramatically…” Jongin said. “You meant it literally.” He embraced his soulmate tightly as tears fell down on his face as well. “Don’t be sorry, Soo. You suffered too much.”
“I have been so unfair to you, you don’t deserve this.” Kyungsoo sobbed.
Jongin shushed the latter, he moved his hands in circles in Kyungsoo’s back, comforting him. “What matters is the time we have left – and it’s not supposed to be us crying.”
The glow was in a calm aura. Its demeanor was enough to keep them sane, it stands like an embrace for the both of them – knowing that one of them won’t last long.
-
“Tell me a story, Soo.”
“My life is pretty boring, what do you want to know?”
It was Kyungsoo’s last night and his heartbeat is decreasing on a normal pace. He and Jongin were lying on his bed in the hospital, staring at the white ceiling. He already bid goodbye to Jongdae and introduced himself to the EXO members for the first and last time.
“You never told me about your family, that at least?”
“They died a few months after I was born. Car crash. I lived with Jongdae for the longest time, he was like a brother to me. When I grew older, I found out I had inherited a couple of money from them that was enough to pay for my expenses in the hospital for the long run but I decided to spend the remaining to the things I wanted to do. I also found out that my father was a famous actor and decided to lie low when I was born, my mother was a director. They were soulmates as well, guess you know how they got together.” Kyungsoo shrugged. “Tell me a story in return, Jingo.” Kyungsoo looked at his soulmate with a glint of excitement. “I heard traveling is amazing, tell me your adventures!”
Jongin chuckled at how adorable Kyungsoo looked whenever he’s excited. “It is!” He said enthusiastically. “There was this one time…”
They talked for hours, from childhood memories to reminiscing the moments in Kyungsoo’s bucket list – Jongin cherished every moment, knowing that this is the first and last time.
“I don’t want to sleep.” Kyungsoo whined.
I don’t want you to sleep too, but I have to let you go. Jongin thought to himself. He wanted Kyungsoo to last longer, he wanted to grow old with him, he want to see his face on their wedding day – he wanted to do a lot of things with him. He asked Kyungsoo about having a heart surgery, but Kyungsoo refused because it seems like he was cheating death and it’s too late for it to happen.
“Do you want me to be honest?” Jongin asked rhetorically. “Me too; but it’s the best way.”
Kyungsoo sighed in agreement. “You have a point.” He pulled the taller to an embrace. “I wish I met you sooner, or I wish I haven’t been unlucky at all.” He said while facing the other’s chest; snuggling on it while his eyes were closed. “I promise to meet you in our next life.”
Even though Jongin felt like the world is falling down with the thought of his soulmate dying in his arms, he still had to stay strong and cherish the time left.
“Thank you for letting me spend my remaining days with you.” Kyungsoo said, looking at his soulmate’s eyes and noticing the turquoise-colored glow shine brightly for the last time. “I love you, Jingo. Good night.”
“I love you too, Soo.” Jongin said, the tears he has been hiding were falling down, “I’ll see you in our next life, I promise.”
“Don’t cry for too long when I’m gone!” Kyungsoo reminded. “I love you, Jingo.” He repeated as he closed his eyes and falling to deep slumber.
Jongin didn’t sleep at all. He just watched Kyungsoo fall asleep with a smile on his face, turquoise glow fading out every hour passing. Even though it felt like torture, Jongin waited for his soulmate’s time. He wanted to see him until his last breath, even if it meant watching him slowly fade away from this universe little by little.
When he felt the time come, he called a nurse to check up on him, the nurse eventually calling a doctor.
“Do Kyungsoo, 24 years old, 3:24 AM.”
That’s where Jongin saw the glow of his heart going monochrome.
-
It was a few days after Kyungsoo’s funeral and Jongin is taking a short break. He sat in their dormitory alone for the rest of EXO had an interview to attend as he heard a knock on the door, it was Jongdae.
“Kyungsoo left us letters.” He stated, his eyes were a little red but puffy, indicating that he cried. “He left one for you as well.” He said, handing Jongin a white envelope with the word Jingo <3 written on it. Jongdae excused himself and left, leaving Jongin alone once again.
Jingo.
It’s been days since I left, right? I bet you miss me already. Don’t miss me too much, okay? You have a whole great life ahead of you!
I told you this a lot of times but I’m still sorry for not telling you earlier. As I said, you were one of my unmade plans – a plot twist, and I enjoyed every single moment of it, I hope you did too. You made my last days amazing, I wouldn’t trade it for the world. (Unless the exchange is me living longer and spending it with you, let’s remake those memories in our next life.)
Even if I fell for you in a short amount of time, I love you, Kim Jongin. Go out there and shine like the stars like how you lighted up my heart into a beautiful turquoise color. Fall in love in this world, I believe that people who glowed in monochrome are all in the same shade because they deserve to be loved again. I’ll be waiting for you in the next universe – I will find you whatever it takes. We wouldn’t let the universe be the hindrance of our supposed love story.
Always remember my last words. I wish you all the best things in life and I’ll see you soonest. I love you.
Forever and always, Kyungsoo.
His last words were I love you, Jingo.
And Jongin was crying once again, clinging onto the handwritten letter.
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After a long while, Jongin is onstage again, the crowd cheering him on. It has been months since Kyungsoo passed away and he still loves and thought of him a lot of times.
“Good evening!” He greeted. “I dedicate this special stage to someone dear to me.” He announced and continued on. “This is Universe.”
If the wind gets cold, my breath touches the night. Our memories that are engraved in seasons, brings tears whenever I reminisce. Until I find you again, my small universe, that holds my entire world. I will search the universe, because that’s what love is.
See you in our next life, Do Kyungsoo. Whatever it takes, I will find you and love you longer, I promise.