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“Hey man, glad you could make it!” Zuko nodded at the glowing expression of one of his best friends, not really in the mood to speak, but not wanting to be rude on such a joyous occasion. The glowing blue eyes were nearly identical to a pair he’d known for so long, and he nearly bolted when they scrunched up just like hers did. Sweeping a hand through his dark hair, other hand tightening around the gift he’d brought, Zuko scanned the area before looking back at his friend.
“Wouldn’t miss it for the world, and it seems like everyone had the same idea. There are a lot of people here, Sokka.” The man laughed, so different than the boy he’d befriended as a child all those years ago, and Zuko felt a pant of sadness that life had turned out so different than he’d planned.
“Well, you know Katara. Quite the social butterfly. She told me she was inviting her closest friends and then sent me a list of over two hundred people, fretting over the amount of guests, but determined not to leave anyone out. I swear, Haru is going to have a tough time with her!” Zuko swallowed the bile rising in his throat, the urge to drop his gift in Sokka’s hand and pretend he was sick itching at the back of his mind. He could do it; it wasn’t like Katara would be looking for him, but Zuko was never the type to abandon his friends.
“Yeah. I better go drop this off then. See ya.” He nodded his goodbye before moving away from the proud man in the handsome navy blue tuxedo, hoping to just drop his gift off and find a shadowy place to hide out in until the ceremony ended, then he could climb back into his sleek black car, drive back to his apartment two cities away, crawl into his bed, and pretend the day never happened. Zuko hated social gatherings on a good day, and today was not one of those good days.
He felt ill, and maybe he shouldn’t have mixed his liquor with his coffee before arriving.
“Zuko! You made it pal!” The cheerful tone only made him feel worse, because of course even the guy who had been obsessed with Katara since middle school would be happy for her big day. Zuko looked up through his thick locks to meet friendly gray eyes, not even a trace of envy or malice in his gaze. Damn his cheerful disposition and forgiving personality.
“Hey, Aang. How’s On Ji?” The bald man beamed at him, and Zuko felt the tiniest bit better about his day.
“Oh she’s amazing!! Toph has been trying to get her to say ‘appa’ for a few days now, since she finally said her first word; ‘momma’. I want her next word to be ‘pop’ rather than the name of our dog, but you know Toph.” Zuko chuckled at Aang’s ridiculous story, eyes scanning the crowd again in search of the short dark haired woman and baby. When he saw them next to Sokka and his wife, Suki, who also had a baby not long ago, his heart swelled for his friends. Everyone was so happy.
“I’m sure she’ll be saying all kinds of silly things, knowing you two. So long as you keep her away from Sokka’s sailor mouth.” Aang rolled his eyes, gray eyes flicking over to the tall man in question.
“On Ji has already tried to repeat a few swear words thanks to him; Toph threatened to beat him into a pulp if our daughter utters a single swear word. He’s been more careful here lately, though.” A loud shout caught their attention, their heads whipping to where Toph and Suki were standing, Sokka having wandered off again. Toph, Aang’s wife of two years, was calling him over, hand on her hip and foot tapping impatiently. Rolling his eyes again, Aang turned back to Zuko, face apologetic.
“Hate to run, but when the wife calls, you go. Just be glad you aren’t married!” As Aang jogged over to meet his wife, kissing her cheek and taking the baby so she could show Suki something, Zuko glanced down at the gift in his hands and sighed sadly.
“Oh Aang...if only you knew how close I thought I was.”
-
(14 Years Earlier)
The sun shone down on the pretty yellow house across the street, Zuko practically tossing his bike down in his yard as he sped across the road and up the walkway to the house his best friends, Sokka and Katara, lived in with their grandmother. He made it a point to visit them every single day, even when it was raining so hard he could barely see the trees that dotted the yard, or the pretty white fence that surrounded the home.
“Sokka!! Katara!!” He hollered as he approached the house, thick black hair bouncing and jacket flapping behind him. When no one answered him, he bounded up the steps and walked over to the open window that faced into the living room.
There, he saw Katara, who was two years younger than himself, brushing her doll’s hair and bobbing her head to something Zuko couldn’t hear. He watched for a long moment, transfixed on the peaceful scene before him, before a sharp pain in his ribs jarred him, head snapping to the right to see Sokka’s devilish grin and sparkling eyes. The boy, who was a year younger than him, turned his attention to the window, brow raising when he saw his baby sister sitting there.
“Were you watching Katara through the window?” He sounded incredulous, as if he couldn’t believe someone would do such a thing, and Zuko felt his cheeks flame up when he realized that’s exactly what he’d been doing. Rather than admit that, he shook his head vehemently, arms crossing when Sokka glared at him suspiciously. Sokka knocked on the window, startling the younger girl, and waved her outside, flashing Zuko a cheeky smile when she abandoned her doll.
“Sokka, you-“
“Hi Zuko. Sokka.” He froze when the girl held out a bag of cookies her grandmother must have prepared, her eyes the color of the sky and twinkling like stars, his fingers just barely able to take the offered goodies. Sokka gagged next to them, munching on his own snack, but Zuko couldn’t get over how nice her hair was, twisted up into braids with bright pink flowers woven into them, or how her pretty cerulean dress matched her eyes so perfectly. He brushed at his black shirt self-consciously.
“You guys are giving me the oogies, like how grandpa and grandma do! I hate it!” Zuko rolled his eyes this time, turning to stick his tongue out at Sokka, body flushing when girlish laughter flooded his senses.
“C’mon, Zuko. Let’s leave Oogie behind! We’ll have our own adventure, without his stupid mouth.” Sokka’s indignant exclamation was drowned out by the pounding in his ears as she took his hand and yanked him across the porch, down the stairs, and across the yard to her tree house, which was usually off limits to everyone except for her friend Ty Lee and Zuko’s sister, Azula. Once inside, they collapsed on the wood flooring in a heap of gasped breath and laughter.
After a long moment, she spoke.
“Do you ever think about your wedding day?” Zuko snorted, eyes tracing imaginary shapes into the roof above. He was only a kid; why would he be worrying about grown up things like marriage?
One look to his left, at the starry eyes and dreamy smile, and he suddenly wished he did care about those things before. He wanted that. He wasn’t quite sure what ‘that’ was, but he wanted it.
“I want an outside wedding. Something small, with only my closest friends invited. And there will be loads of lilies, the tables will be covered in blues and purples, and there will be tons of food for Sokka! Music is a must...” She trailed off, eyes falling closed and silence falling over them. The longer he looked, the more he longed to be near her for as long as he could be.
Maybe even forever.
-
(Present Day)
“Zuko! Don’t you look handsome? How’s the new job?” He smiled weakly at the second pair of gray eyes that day, long tight braid swinging back and forth behind her as she pulled back from the hug she’d thrust upon him. Zuko wasn’t much for affection, preferring handshakes and nods to hugs and cheek kisses, but Ty Lee never cared much for his boundaries.
“It’s pretty good. Pays a lot, and I get loads of vacation time, which I plan on using next summer to go somewhere exotic. I’ve been dying to travel since I was a kid.” The younger woman nodded, hand coming up to pinch his cheek roughly. Zuko liked Ty Lee, he really did, but sometimes she was too much for him to handle.
“Ohhhh that’s right! Make sure you post loads of pictures, okay? I’ll miss you face too much!” He rubbed his cheek ruefully, eyes narrowed at her with little heat. Everyone was used to her over-exuberant personality, so it had little actual effect of them after so many years.
“Have you found yourself a girlfriend? I noticed you came alone...” She trailer off suddenly, her eyes wide with embarrassment. Zuko pulled back some, stuffing his hands in his dress pant pockets and scuffing the ground with his dress shoes.
“No, I haven’t. I’m quite fine alone; I wish you and Azula would leave me alone.” His sister and Ty Lee had tried to set him up with various girls for years, and while he appreciated the effort, he really wasn’t interested in dating. His job required all of his attention anyway.
“Well, Mai said she’d go out with you again, if you wanted?” He shook his head, laying a hand on her shoulder before walking away, not wanting to see her disappointed gaze or hear her well meaning, but hurtful, words anymore.
He dug out a cigarette and lighter, lighting the end and puffing for a few moments. He had moved a good distance from the party, able to see the mass of pretty dresses and fancy tuxedos mingling amongst the trees and white decorations. A light breeze tousled his hair, and he released a breath of smoke as more memories tugged at him.
-
(6 Years Earliero)
“What team?!”
“Raiders!”
“Let’s get out there and kick some Gator butt!” Zuko shook his head roughly, trying to pump himself up for the game ahead. Sokka stood next to him, piercing blue eyes focused and unwavering. He admired his best friend’s drive, wishing he could be half the student and athlete he was, but knowing he’d never compare. Still, he tried his hardest, and he’d somehow become the captain of their high school football team, though he sort of wished he’d stayed more low key.
“You ready, Zuko?” Aang, a freshman who’d recently joined their team, asked, lacing up his cleats again. Next to him, sitting on the bench with his head titled back and feet propped up on some poor kid’s duffle bag, was Jet, the biggest asshole and player in the school, who just happened to be their quarterback. The dark skinned arrogant senior made it clear he didn’t like Zuko since freshman year, and that was only compacted by Zuko being made team captain over him. Zuko tried to ignore him most times.
“Yeah, I’m ready. Don’t feel too nervous, Aang; our team is ready.” Jet rolled his eyes, jaw working as he chewed the gum he always seemed to have in his mouth, before standing and pushing past Zuko and Sokka, who snorted at the bristly senior.
“What’s his problem?” Zuko and Aang shrugged, though he figured it had to do with Jet’s ex-girlfriend flirting with him at a party in their freshman year. Sokka nor Aang new about that, though, and Zuko never cared to share. It was ancient history in his book.
“Do you think Katara will be there?” Zuko winced at the hopeful look in the freshman’s eyes. Sokka nodded, though he seemed too distracted to put up the argument he usually did when Aang brought up his sister.
“Sokka? You okay?” The junior nodded, picking up his helmet as the coach shouted for the team to get on the field. As they jogged out, helmets going on and nervous energy buzzing, Sokka fell in beside Zuko, who was at the front of the group (only behind the coach and Jet), and nudged him with an elbow.
“Think Suki will be watching?” He heard his best friend shout, and Zuko suddenly understood his behavior in the locker room.
“From the opposing team stands? Probably! Hoping to impress her with your butter fingers?” He teased Sokka in hopes of calming him. It seemed to work, sharp elbow jabbing him again and eyes narrowed.
“Ha Ha.”
The lights. The sound. The feel of his cleats pressing into the turf as his team trudged onto the field. It all sent a pleasant buzz through Zuko’s veins, a feeling he never thought he’d get from performing in front of the entire school, but one he rather enjoyed. Aang and Sokka flanked him as they warmed up, trading jokes between them and shouting trash talk at any opposing player that passed. When the whistle blew, Zuko and his friends jogged to the sidelines, ready to play their tails off for the last game of the year.
Just as the game was getting started, he heard his name being called from somewhere in the crowd. Turning, he saw the beautiful chocolate waves and cerulean eyes of his other best friend, her smile brightening when he saw her. She waved at him excitedly, jumping up and down before turning to show him the back of her blue and red t-shirt.
It said his name. His. Name.
He played the game in a daze, hardly knowing what was really going on during it, and barely acknowledging it when they won. He felt like he was walking on air the entire way back to the locker room, the chatter of his teammates white noise to his ears.
Katara, sweet, sophisticated, intelligent, beautiful Katara, was wearing a shirt with his name on it. It didn’t have to mean what he hoped it did, considering they were best friends so of course she’d support him, but he couldn’t help the buzz of emotions as he changed out of his sweaty gear and piled into the van with his friends, ready to hit the town.
“May I sit here?” Her sweet voice snapped him out of his conversation with Chan, his amber eyes flicking up to her face before scooting over in the booth to make room. Chan smiled up at her in a friendly manner, excusing himself for a moment and leaving them alone. Zuko busied himself with dipping french fries into his ice cream, wondering what Katara was thinking at the moment.
“Zuko?”
“Yes?” She bit her lip, shaking her head fiercely before tucking into her burger, silence enveloping them for a moment before Azula popped down across from them, Chan bashfully sitting next to her. Zuko raised a brow at the couple, but they ignored him in favor of flirting (clumsily in Chan’s case; casually in Azula’s). As Zuko rolled his eyes at yet another lame line from the broad shouldered junior, he felt something brush against his fingers that were on the seat. Glancing down, he saw the slender fingers of Katara and nearly snatched his hand away from her.
Surely it had been an accident? But her eyes were glowing in affection, her cheeks dusted the barest hint of pink under her darker skin tone, and her lips were tilted in a small smile. He felt his face flush when she leaned forward suddenly, eyes falling closed. He could hear his heart pounding in his ears, but before he could finally taste the lips of the girl he’d been crushing on since primary school, someone crashed into their table, breaking the moment and catching her attention.
“Haru! You stupid clutz!” She jumped up and playfully pummeled his arms with punches, her whole being practically glowing next to him. Zuko felt his heart drop when he realized there was no hope for him; she was already in love with someone else.
When she turned to him, Haru having gone back to his friends, and smiled shyly, he shrugged at her and smiled back. He seemed to convince her that he was fine, that the moment they’d shared was already forgotten, but deep down he was cracking.
Beautiful, sweet, loving Katara would never be his, and it hurt him.
-
(Present Day)
The ceremony was incredibly beautiful.
Katara looked stunning in her white gown, bits of blue woven throughout the piece in memory of her mother, and Haru was quite handsome in his black tuxedo and bright green tie. The flower girl had cried the whole way down the isle, barely able to toss flowers onto the ground until her older sister had snatched the basket away, grabbed her hand, and strutted down the isle with purpose. The ring bearer nearly tripped three different times in his too big shoes, Katara giggling softly before encouraging him with kind words and a sweet smile until he made it to the alter. Cheers erupted into the spring sky as the newly weds exchanged kisses, though all Zuko could do was try to hold down his meager breakfast.
Music and food were going to be served under the pavilion, but Zuko knew he couldn’t hang around much longer. His heart was being broken all over again, and he knew he’d fulfilled his best friend duties by staying until the vows were exchanged and rice was thrown. With one last look around at the happy faces and beaming couple, he hunched over and quickly made his way to the parking lot.
He hadn’t seen the way Katara, laughing and smiling with her new groom, had watched him leave without saying goodbye.
-
(Three Years Earlier)
“I can’t believe we’re all officially out of college!” Sokka downer another glass of beer, swaying a little to the left as he spoke, Suki grumbling at him before gently pushing him off. Zuko was buzzing happily, three drinks into their night of fun, when two figures approached their table.
“Katara! Haru! Welcome, newly grads! Have a seat. Aang, fetch the happy couple a drink, would ya?” Katara rolled her eyes at her brother, snapping something at him playfully, though all tipsy Zuko could notice was the way she kept her hands hidden, and the way Haru was clutching her waist tightly, face pinched in apprehension.
Zuko, along with the rest of the gang, had been wondering when the two would get engaged, and it seemed as if the time had come. Katara was practically glowing, and Haru was fumbling with the drink Aang handed him. He narrowed his eyes at the couple, not even flinching when Katara met his gaze, her features falling a little when her eyes met his.
“There’s something Katara and I wanted to say!” Haru finally seemed to work up the courage to speak, pulling the attention of the group on them. Katara yanked her eyes away, looking up at him with such awe and affection, Zuko nearly hurled.
“So you did have that crazy night Jet was always going on about!” Awkward silence hung in the air for about three seconds before Katara coughed out a no, cheeks burning red even under her tanned skin. Zuko braced himself, knowing exactly what the announcement was and dreading the words being spoken from another man’s mouth.
“We’re engaged!!”
-
(Present Day)
“Zuko?” He looked up in surprise at the same pretty face he often dreamed about, the cerulean eyes that still held his heart, and nearly spilled his coffee. Well, his spiked coffee.
“Hey Katara. What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be celebrating the biggest day of your life.” He noticed she’d changed out of her gorgeous gown into jeans and a plain red shirt, her fancy hairdo exchanged for a simple braid with pink flowers weave in. She still looked as beautiful and radiant as the day he met her, and he only wished he’d been braver and smarter way back then.
But he’d long ago made a promise to stop living in the past, and he really didn’t want to get lost in his memories now.
“Hard to do that when your best friend in the whole world leaves without saying goodbye. I told Sokka I had I had to run to town for something so he wouldn’t suspect.” She paused for a moment as the waitress walked up, holding Zuko’s snack in one hand, her eyes falling on Katara in surprise. She set the plate down, a huge cinnamon roll centered on the pristine white dish, and pulled out her pad and pen, eyes cool indifference as she asked for Katara’s order. Zuko was slightly taken aback by the change in demeanor (when he’d arrived, the waitress had been bubbly and friendly), but couldn’t find it in himself to care much at the moment.
“Oh I might just take some tea. I’m meant to be at my wedding, but I had to chase this tosser down first.” The waitress offered a curt nod, green eyes flicking to Zuko for a moment before heading to the kitchen. Once she was one, Katara leaned forward conspiratorially.
“You know, I think she likes you. And she’s really pretty; maybe you could ask her out?” Zuko kept his eyes on his plate, fingers absently tracing the brim of his cup. He didn’t really want to hear anything about relationships or weddings or pretty girls. He just wanted to drink and sit with his memories.
“Whatever.” Now there was a warm hand on his, and he couldn’t help but look up into her eyes, which were brimming with concern. He felt guilt curl in his chest as he remembered this was her wedding day; she was supposed to be laughing and dancing with her friends and new husband, not worrying over his hurt feelings and sour attitude.
“I’m sorry, Kat. I’m just- it’s not a good day for me. I’ve got a lot on my mind right now.” Her thumb rubbed his hand gently, barely batting a lash when the waitress set down the tea cup with more force than necessary, followed by brushing her hand against his arm as she walked away.
“Wanna talk about it, Zuko? I’ll always be here for you, even if we don’t have the treehouse to meet in.” He smiled at the memories of the two of them, side by side, talking about the future they wanted and the dreams they had. How his father went to jail and her mother died and everything just went wrong all at once. He missed those days more than ever, especially since she was slowly drifting away from him. Soon she’d have kids and pets and a career and a whole life he wasn’t a part of.
It hurt.
“No, I just need to be alone. Why don’t you go back to your guests. To your husband. I’ll be fine; honest.” She hardly looked convinced, guilt flickering behind her eyes as she sipped her tea. He nibbled at his pastry.
“I think we have something to talk about actually; about us. I know it’s my wedding day, but I also know I hurt you back in high school, and again when we all graduated college, by being with Haru.“ He cut her off there, not about to have this discussion with her on her freaking wedding day of all days. Maybe one day, but not that one.
“Kat, you need to go. They need you; he needs you. I’m a big boy now, and you’re no longer required to make me feel better. Please? I’ll feel better if you do.” She opened and closed her mouth over and over, eyes clouding with hurt, before nodding and standing from her seat. He figured she’d stomp away from him, determined to leave his stupid self in the past, but she stopped by him and pulled him out of his seat. He hung his head, not wanting to let her see the way she still affected him.
He was hopeless.
“Zuko, I’ll always care about you so much. I don’t want to go back without you. Please; come with me?” He shook his head, digging out his wallet to lay money on the table. There was no way he could do it. He was fuzzy, emotional, and sensitive at the moment. He might do something he’d regret if he went back.
“I love ya, Kat, but I can’t. I’m sorry.” Nodding in understanding, she reached up and kissed his cheek, holding her lips there longer than needed before pulling away and resting her hand against his cheek.
“I so sorry, Zuko.” He sighed, eyes closing at her touch before opening again to see her eyes shimmering with sorrow and regret.
“Me too, Water Lilly.”