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1.
The first time, Keith had been on his way back to his room from the training deck.
According to the castle’s day and night cycle, it was probably somewhere around 3 in the morning. The last person Keith expected to find out of bed was Lance “you need ten hours of sleep a night, maybe more” McClain. So Keith practically jumped out of his skin when he turned a corner and saw a dark, shapeless figure hunched over in the little alcove in the window.
When his heartbeat was finally back under control, Keith took a good look at the figure that had nearly scared him to death, only to find that it was Lance, curled up underneath a blanket, leaning his head against the window and gazing out at the stars.
“Lance?” Keith asked, “what are you doing up?”
Keith expected a response like: ‘that’s none of your business, mullet.’ ‘I should ask you the same thing, mullet.’ ‘I don’t need beauty sleep, this look is natural. You on the other hand…’
Instead, Lance just shrugged. “Couldn’t sleep,” he mumbled.
Keith walked over to him and pushed himself up onto the ledge. At first, he thought Lance had been watching the stars, but now that he was closer, Lance looked distant. He was staring at something beyond the stars.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.”
Lance’s voice was strained. He cleared his throat and quickly swiped his hand over his cheek. Someone with an untrained eye might have missed it, but Keith had been living and working with Lance for months, so when a few stray tears rolled down Lance’s cheek, he noticed.
“Are you crying?” Keith asked, already knowing the answer.
“No.” Lance pulled his blanket tighter around himself, curling up closer to the window, “I’m just...sweating. It’s hot in here. We really need to fix the thermostat in this place.”
Keith hummed in agreement, “well, hypothetically, if you were crying, that would be okay.” A pause. “You don’t have to be happy all the time, Lance.”
Lance didn’t reply. Usually when a person was silent, Keith would start to panic that he said the wrong thing, but with Lance...the silence was okay. Comfortable, even. They sat together on the window ledge, silence stretching between them, staring out at the stars.
“It’s my mom’s birthday today.” Keith jumped a little when Lance spoke, “it’s probably ruined now.”
“Why is it ruined?”
“Everyone was going to be there. All my aunts, uncles, cousins, siblings, all their kids. I even got special permission from the Garrison to go home for a few days.” Lance’s voice was thick, the tears he didn’t want to cry before now rolling down his cheeks. He swiped hastily at them, “we hadn’t all been together at the same time in forever, and this was supposed to be a happy day. Now I’m gone, and she’s going to be sad, and everyone else is going to be sad. I ruined it, Keith. I ruined her birthday. She probably thinks I’m dead.”
“You didn’t ruin anything, Lance.” Keith reached out and put a hand on Lance’s knee. He had both curled up tightly into his chest. He looked at Keith’s hand for a moment, before making eye contact with him for the first time that night. That’s when Keith really saw how sad Lance looked. His eyes were red and his face was puffy from crying and there were wet streaks down his cheeks and he looked like a lost little kid.
Keith hesitated a moment, he didn’t really know what Lance was feeling because he had nothing waiting for him back on Earth. But he knew Lance, he knew what he needed to hear, and he needed to hear the truth.
“Yes, they are going to be sad. Maybe in the few months we’ve been gone, they came to terms with the fact that you might be dead, but all of them being together today is going to hurt them and make them sad again.” Lance looked down at his knees, “but-” Keith leaned forwards, directing Lance’s attention back to him, “-I know that the day we get back to Earth, they are going to be immeasurably happy to see you. They were already proud of you for being at the Garrison, and they’re going to be even more proud of you when we get home and they hear about all the things you’ve done.”
Keith took a deep breath, hoping that what he said was good, that he said the right thing. Lance just stared at him for a moment, a few stray tears still escaping down his cheeks. Then, Lance sighed, his lips turning up into a small and bittersweet smile.
“Thanks, Keith.” He pushed himself off of the window ledge, “come on, it’s late, we should be in bed.”
Keith nodded, accepting the change in subject, and pushed himself back onto his feet to walk down the hall with Lance as he complained about how crying ‘is good and refreshing for my body but horrendous on my skin.’
2.
“You’ll never take me alive!”
Keith looked up from the tablet in his hand as the door to the lounge opened, and Lance came running in. He looked frantic, his hair was sticking up and his face was red, his eyes were watering. He had a gadget clutched in his hand.
“Keith!” He said, “hide me!”
“Uh…” Keith stared at him, confused, “why?”
“There he is!” Pidge came into view in the doorway, Hunk right next to her. She was pointing right at Lance.
Hunk advanced on him. “Hunk, buddy,” Lance pleaded, “you don’t want to do this.”
“Sorry, dude. As your best friend, it’s my job to punish you for your crimes.”
Keith watched in utter confusion as Lance backed away from Hunk, looking like he wanted to run. Before Lance could make a break for it, Hunk had snatched him up into his arms. Lance struggled, “Hunk, please, buddy, let me go! I don’t deserve this!”
Pidge walked up to Lance, a smug smile on her face. She started poking Lance in the sides, and he started squirming even more.
“No,” he giggled, “Pidgey, please,” more giggles, “please, I’m sorry!” Lance broke out into laughter, but Pidge didn’t let up, still poking at his sides and his neck.
Keith had zoned out, staring at Lance’s face as he laughed. His cheeks were red, his laughter had gone silent from running out of breath, his eyes were sparkling and there were tears leaking out of the corners.
Eventually, Pidge let up on him. She snatched the gadget out of his hand and turned, marching out of the room. Hunk released him, gave him a pat on the head, and followed Pidge. Lance didn’t move from where he stood, instead flopping down onto the ground and lying on his back. His silence was occasionally broken by a few stray giggles.
Keith stood up and walked around the couch to stand above Lance. “What was that?”
Lance looked up at Keith, swiping at the tear tracks on his cheeks, “I snatched some tech thing Hunk and Pidge were working on. That was their revenge.”
Keith kneeled, “tickling you was revenge?”
Lance nodded, “I’m like, super ticklish.”
“Really?” Lance nodded. Keith reached out and poked him in the side.
Lance flinched and curled away from Keith. “Don’t even,” he said, glaring at him.
Keith bit back a smile, reaching out with both hands this time and jabbing Lance hard in his sides. Lance shrieked, his arms curling around himself in a feeble attempt to protect himself from Keith’s impending attack. Keith crawled across the floor and, despite Lance frantically butt-scooching away from him, got close enough to Lance to keep poking and tickling his sides.
Giggles bubbled their way out of Lance, who had fallen back on the floor again. His hands gripped Keith’s wrists, weakly trying to pull them away.
When Keith finally let up, Lance has tears rolling down his cheeks. He glared at Keith as best as he could, his chest still heaving, trying to catch his breath. “That was cruel, mullet. You don’t attack a man when he’s down.”
Keith shrugged, “too late.”
Lance pushed himself up so he was sitting. He wiped the wet streaks left on his cheeks and pressed the back of his hands to his face. “I’m probably all red now.”
Keith smiled, “yeah, kinda. But don’t worry, I won’t mistake you for my lion.”
Lance laughed, “I sure hope not.”
Keith felt his chest flutter at Lance’s smile. Lance’s face was red and blotchy, a few stray tears rolling down his cheeks, but his eyes sparkled with something more than just tears.
Keith hoped that his own face wasn’t red.
3.
When Keith opened the door to the kitchen, Hunk jumped and whirled around to face him. He was tense for a moment, then relaxed, “oh, good, I thought you might have been Lance.”
“What are you doing?” Keith asked.
“I think I’ve finally perfected my space chocolate chip cookie recipe and I want to surprise him. Chocolate chip cookies are one of his favourites.”
Keith stood next to Hunk at the counter, looking down into the bowl of bright blue cookie dough with little red pieces mixed into it.
“It’s like you guys.” Hunk said. Keith gave him a confused look and Hunk laughed, “it’s red and blue.”
“Oh,” Keith said, “I mean, I guess so? I don’t think a cookie is the best food analogy for me.”
“You don’t think so?” Hunk said, pulling out four spoons and handing two to Keith before starting to spoon dough onto a cookie sheet.
“I mean,” Keith stepped closer to the bowl, spooning dough onto another cookie sheet, “it makes sense for Lance. He’s sweet and everybody loves him and he’s so complex there’s so many different versions of him.”
“What do you mean different versions of him?” Hunk chuckled.
“I just mean, like, there’s so many sides to him, you know?” Keith blushed, feeling like he’d said too much.
Hunk hummed, “of course I know. He’s my best friend.”
Keith’s blush deepend, “right. Obviously.”
“But I think you’re wrong.”
Keith’s hands stilled, “what?” How could he be wrong? Is Hunk saying he doesn’t think that Lance is sweet? No, there’s no way that’s what he means. Is there?
“I think the cookie analogy fits you perfectly.”
Oh. “What makes you say that?”
“Well,” Hunk scraped another spoonful of cookie dough onto the pan, “you’re nice to the aliens we help. You’re nice to us. I, personally, think you’ve got plenty different sides to you. And-” Hunk lifted up his pan of cookies and walked over to the oven. He opened it, “even when hit with some heat,” he threw the pan in and closed the door, “you come out the other end even better than you were before.” He smiled at Keith, satisfied.
Keith put his spoons down, the dough temporarily forgotten. “You really think that?”
Hunk nodded, crossing back over to the counter. “Besides, this cookie recipe specifically really fits you and Lance.”
“Why?”
Hunk reached into the bowl and swiped a chunk of dough with his finger. He held it up to show one of the red pieces surrounded by the blue dough, “you’ve got Lance wrapped around your finger.”
Keith felt his face get hot, “I do not!”
Hunk smirked, popping the dough into his mouth, “keep telling yourself that, but he’s got it bad , my friend. And so do you.”
“He does not like me.”
“But you admit you like him.”
Keith blushed harder, “maybe.” He shook his head, trying to clear it, “but anyway, he doesn’t like me back. There’s no way. He’s always bickering with me and he never talks to me like how he talks to the girls he flirts with.”
Hunk hummed, “I can’t really say much because of best friend laws, but you have to trust me, Keith.”
Keith was about to retaliate when there were thundering footsteps coming down the hall. Lance appeared in the doorway a moment later.
“I smelled cookies.” He said, his eyes wide.
Hunk slid the half-empty bowl of dough across the counter to Lance, “just went in the oven, dude.”
Lance didn’t even bother with a spoon. He reached into the bowl with a finger and swiped some of the raw dough into his mouth. His eyes grew even wider. “Hunk. These taste just like my sister’s cookies.”
Hunk pat Lance on the shoulder, “I did my best.”
Lance ate more dough, “oh my god, Hunk.”
“Are you tearing up?” Keith asked.
“No!” Lance said defensively, despite the obvious tears building up in his eyes. “I just-” he sniffed and looked over at Hunk, “these taste like home.”
Keith leaned against the counter, “are you just going to eat the dough?”
Lance rolled his eyes, “have you never had cookie dough, mullet?”
“I don’t want to get, like, salmonella.”
“Oh my god you’re one of those people,” Lance said, his previous tears forgotten. He slid the bowl back over to Keith, “eat it.”
Keith looked down into the bowl, “uh…”
Lance leaned over the counter, glaring. “Eat. It.”
Keith shrugged, reaching into the bowl and taking some of the dough out with his finger and eating it. He closed his eyes and sighed, “oh my god.”
I know, right!” Keith jumped, Lance’s presence and voice suddenly being right beside him. “As my wise sister once said ‘cookies are good, but there’s nothing better than an amazing cookie dough’.”
“Didn’t she say that because she was too lazy to actually bake the cookies?” Hunk said.
Lance popped more dough into his mouth, “maybe.” Keith laughed and Lance smiled down at him, “what are you laughing at, mullet?”
“You have cookie dough on your cheek.”
Lance rubbed at his cheek, “did I get it?”
“No.”
Keith made eye contact with Hunk as Lance scrubbed at his cheek. Hunk glanced at Lance, smiled his cheeky smile, and winked. Keith knew what Hunk was planning.
Keith cleared his throat, “I gotta go.”
Lance stopped rubbing his cheek as Keith pushed past him, “wha- mullet! Where are you going? Keith!”
Keith kept his head down as he left, hiding his blush. If Hunk was going to leave to try and make Keith and Lance be alone together, Keith would leave first. He didn’t think he could handle it, with Hunk’s cookie analogy and insistence that Lance did in fact like him fresh in his mind.
So he ducked his head and rushed out of the kitchen.
4.
Pain. That was the last thing Keith remembered. Pain erupting on his side mid-battle, the vague recognition of voices all around him, then nothing.
He blinked his eyes open and stumbled forwards, placing his hands on the walls next to him to stabilize himself. When his head stopped spinning, he looked up to find that he was standing in one of the healing pods. Lance was halfway up the steps, a hand reached out to catch him if he fell. The rest of the team was standing behind him.
Keith stepped out of the pod and scanned the faces of his team. They looked worried. Pidge and Hunk’s eyes were red and watery. “What happened?” Keith asked.
Suddenly, Lance’s arms were around Keith’s shoulders and he’d been pulled tightly against him. “You’re a moron,” Lance mumbled, his face in Keith’s shoulder.
Slowly, Keith reached up to wrap his arms around Lance’s torso. “What happened?” He repeated.
“Do you really not remember?” Shiro said. Keith shook his head. “You pushed Lance out of the way of a sentry and took the shot yourself. We thought we lost you.”
Lance’s arms held Keith tighter, and he could feel Lance shaking and if he was crying, Keith didn’t say anything about it. “I’m sorry,” Lance said, “God, I’m sorry, Keith.”
“Lance...you...you don’t have to apologize.” Keith was very aware of the rest of the team watching them, but he honestly did not care in that moment. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Yes I did.” Lance let go of Keith and took half a step back. He was crying. He wiped at his cheeks and swallowed thickly. “I was dumb. I wasn’t paying attention. You had to push me out of the way and almost died because of it.”
“That’s- you don’t have to apologize for missing one sentry. You were already occupied with an entire squad of them and protecting each other is what we do.” He put a hand on Lance’s shoulder.
Lance looked down at the hand on his shoulder before reaching up and covering it with his own, “I was worried about you.”
Keith noticed how Lance didn’t say ‘ we’, as in the entire team, ‘were worried about you’ and instead said ‘ I’, as in him alone, ‘was worried about you’. But he decided to just keep that little observation to himself.
Maybe, just maybe, Lance liking him back wasn’t totally wishful thinking.
5.
Keith jumped slightly when there was a knock on his bedroom door.
It was fairly late at night, around one in the morning, so he wasn’t expecting anyone to come to his door. Keith swung his legs over the edge of the bed and put his hand on the panel next to the door to open it.
“Lance?”
Lance was standing on the other side, rocking back and forth on his feet. He smiled sheepishly, “heeeeey, Keith.”
“Did you need something? I thought you’d be asleep by now.” Keith stepped to the side to let Lance in. He took the invitation and walked past Keith into the room.
“Yeah, well, I usually would be asleep, but there’s been something on my chest for the last little while.”
Keith let the door slide shut behind him. He stood in front of Lance, arms crossed. “Okay? And?”
“Right, well, this thing isn’t actually really a secret like, everyone else knows about it, but they’re not the ones who need to know about it, you know?”
Keith’s mind instantly went to his crush on Lance. Shiro knew, Hunk knew, Pidge, Allura, and Coran probably knew too, honestly. Keith wondered what kind of secret Lance was keeping, and why everyone else knew but he didn’t. “Yeah, I know.”
Lance took a deep breath, “okay, well, I’ve been wanting to tell you for a while but I’ve been, like, super nervous because I don’t actually know how this is going to go down despite what Hunk keeps telling me.”
“Lance,” Keith reached out and put a hand on Lance’s shoulder to calm his rambling, “it’s okay, you can tell me.”
“Right,” Lance cleared his throat, “so, Keith,” Keith let his hand drop back to his side, Lance took a deep breath, “I like you.”
Oh. That’s Lance’s secret.
Lance kept talking. “I’ve honestly liked you for a long time. Like, Garrison days long time, and I’ve been wondering if you maybe wanted to...go out? With me?”
Keith stared, processing what Lance said. It was happening. Lance was confessing to him, Lance was asking him out.
Why couldn’t Keith say anything?
Lance cleared his throat awkwardly, “it’s okay if you don’t want to. I mean, I’ve been rejected before.”
Lance’s voice got caught in his throat and his eyes got watery. “Look, man,” he said, “sorry. I probably just made things weird. Just...pretend this didn’t happen.”
Lance turned to leave, wiping at his eyes.
1.
Lance finally did it. He confessed to Keith.
But it wasn’t going the way he’d imagined it. Keith wasn’t lighting up with the smile that makes his eyes sparkle and crinkle at the edges. He wasn’t throwing his arms around Lance to hug him tight and say he felt the same and that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with him.
He was staring. Eyes wide, mouth hanging open. He was just staring at Lance and Lance was full of instant regret.
He tried to brush it off, tell Keith that it was okay if he didn’t feel the same. “I mean, I’ve been rejected before.”
Oh no. Oh no no no. He was going to cry. He could feel the lump in his throat and the way his voice was starting to shake. Abort. Abort mission. One-sided crush detected. Can NOT let him see you cry. You’re cool, this doesn’t affect you at all.
“Look, man, Sorry. I probably just made things weird. Just...pretend this didn’t happen.”
Run. Run. RUN. Do not let the boy see you cry.
Lance turned to the door and started to make his way out when he felt a hand on his arm. He turned back around to see Keith still staring at him.
“Lance…” he whispered.
Lance swallowed around the lump in his throat, “Keith?”
Keith didn’t say anything else, he just dropped his head onto Lance’s shoulder and wrapped his arms around Lance’s middle. Lance was shocked into silence, but managed to wrap his arms around Keith’s shoulders.
“Keith?” Lance repeated, his tears forgotten, “you okay, buddy?”
“Don’t leave.”
“Wha-”
“Please don’t leave,” the grip around Lance’s middle got tighter, “I would love to go out with you.”
Lance stood there in shock, processing what Keith said. He was broken out of his stupor by a quiet sniffle. “Keith are you...are you crying?”
“Maybe,” Keith mumbled into his shoulder. “I just,” Keith pulled slightly away from Lance, wiping at his eyes with one hand and keeping the other loosely wrapped around Lance’s waist, “I don’t know, I just never thought this would happen.”
Lance huffed a breath of laughter, “you and me both. But,” he swiped a thumb across Keith’s cheek, catching a tear that had been rolling down, “I’m happy it did.”
Keith nodded. “Did you say you liked me way back in the Garrison? What about the whole ‘rivalry’ thing?”
Lance shrugged, “turns out the way I deal with a crush who has no idea who I am is making up a fake rivalry with him.”
“Oh,” Keith said, “I actually knew who you were, though.”
“But, when we were saving Shiro you said-”
Keith shrugged, “I’m gay and I panicked.”
Lance stared at Keith for a moment before bursting out into laughter, “that would explain why Shiro said you would talk about me all the time back at the Garrison.”
Keith blushed, “he told you that?!”
Lance smiled, “maybe.”
Keith let go of Lance and pushed past him towards the door, “I’ll be right back, just off to murder my brother.”
“Nooo,” Lance grabbed Keith’s wrist, “staaayyy.”
Lance pouted and Keith’s mood immediately cooled down.
“Fine. I’ll kill Shiro in the morning.” Keith smiled softly and Lance could feel his insides melt at the sight of it.
‘Yeah,’ Lance thought to himself, ‘this is going to be great’
FIN.