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“Psst.” Qi Fang pokes Sun Jing in the side.
What an asshole.
She’d been enjoying her nap in the grass after their run. It’s so nice to lie in the summer sun, letting the cool breeze ruffle her hair… maybe she’ll just ignore him.
“Oi.”
Sun Jing grunts and rolls over onto her stomach, hoping that if she’s just a little farther away from him, he’ll stop.
Her plan fails. Qi Fang’s stupid crane limbs are just too long for her to escape. He pokes her again in the ribs.
“Hey, Sun Jing!”
“Ugh.” She turns her head his way, one eye glaring out from the cradle of her arms. “What.”
The idiot nap-disturber doesn’t even wince. He’s obviously too stupid to notice the negative feelings directed his way. “So, I was thinking …”
“You should stop that. It might hurt your brain if you make it work too hard.”
“Shut up!” He pokes her in the ribs again and Sun Jing has had enough.
“That’s it, mophead!”
She leaps at him, and they tussle in the grass, screeching and tickling and rolling around in a ball of limbs and teenage enthusiasm.
After, they’re sprawled out on their backs in much the same positions as before, though they’re much more rumpled. Qi Fang has grass stains on his elbows and knees, and Sun Jing’s got leaves sticking out of her hair.
Smirking, Qi Fang pulls one out of Sun Jing’s bangs as he says, “But really though.”
“Uh?”, pants Sun Jing, because she’s still recovering. She’s way too weak to tickling, and Qi Fang knows all her soft spots.
“With Qiu Tong, like… how’s that even work?”
Sun Jing frowns at Qi Fang, because there is no way that this asshole is questioning her pursuit of Qiu Tong now, not after all this time.
“How does what work?”
“I don’t mean you liking her! Love is love and all that!” Qi Fang waves his hand through the air to show that he truly doesn’t care about his friend’s sexuality. “I just mean, y’know. Doing it? You guys have been together for a while, and you’ve gotten past first base by now, right? But neither of you has a dick, so do you still have to buy condoms…?”
Sun Jing slams her hand over his mouth, face tomato red.
“QIU TONG IS A PURE, INNOCENT FLOWER AND WE HAVEN’T DONE MORE THAN KISS, SO SHUT YOUR FOUL MOUTH.”
Because he’s an actual child, Qi Fang just licks her palm and cackles when she yelps and pulls away. He sits up, smirking.
“Whatever! I just wanted to know if you needed help buying stuff, since it’s easier for boys. I guess that’s useless if you’re gonna be a virgin for the rest of your life~”
Even redder than before, Sun Jing shrieks with rage and reaches for Qi Fang. He dodges out of the way, still laughing, and she chases him all the way to the train station. By the time they get there, it goes unspoken that they’re both going to pretend that their conversation never happened, because Sun Jing doesn’t want to talk about it, and Qi Fang doesn’t want to get punched in the head again.
Easy.
Done.
Only, it's not.
Not talking about it doesn’t mean that Sun Jing’s lack of knowledge doesn't come up. She and Qiu Tong are still dating, after all. They hang out at each other’s houses often, even more than they did before, laughing over snacks while they watch tv shows, or studying in each other’s rooms, just doing things together to enjoy each other’s company. Really, what happens a few nights later is pretty inevitable.
They’re curled up on Qiu Tong’s couch together, and while they’re the only ones home, the room doesn’t seem nearly as cavernous when Sun Jing is leaning against the arm of the couch with Qiu Tong up against her side, head resting on her shoulder.
“Woo! What a good movie!” Sun Jing says, excited. “Did you see those explosions?”
“Yeah. I did.” Qiu Tong giggles. “I also saw you seeing the explosions.”
“Huh?”
Qiu Tong wiggles up a little on the couch, nuzzling her nose into the curve of Sun Jing’s neck to press a fluttering kiss to her jaw. “You got so excited about them. It’s cute how your eyes got bigger and bigger every time another one happened.”
It’s weird, because Sun Jing is blushing from being complimented, but Qiu Tong is also blushing from giving compliments, so they’re both sitting on her couch, turning red as anything. Thundering through Sun Jing’s head is the thought “I really want to kiss her right now”, followed quickly by, “Wait I'm her girlfriend, I'm totally allowed to do that,” and, "Oh hell yeah." It’s late, and the room is lit only by the flickering light of the credits, and Sun Jing leans in.
Before, Sun Jing had seen kisses on TV shows and thought she knew what they probably felt like. She was completely wrong. Even after she’s done this so many times, she can’t quite describe it. She feels like she’s all elbows and knees, like her skin is too small for her body, like she’s limitless, like nothing in the world can go wrong in this moment. It's like she's living some sort of miracle, the kind where angels are setting things on fire and everything is terrifying and wonderful all at once.
She holds Qiu Tong close and nips at her lower lip, begging entrance. Qiu Tong sighs in response and opens to Sun Jing’s kisses, reaches up to tangle her fingers in her long, dark hair.
“Mmm, c’mere,” Sun Jing gasps between kisses, tugging Qiu Tong closer, and there’s no hesitation before Qiu Tong crawls into Sun Jing's lap. Her breasts squish against Sun Jing’s, and her shirt rides up when she moves, and Sun Jing’s palms skid up from waistband onto skin.
It’s a revelation.
A star is going nova in her chest, and Sun Jing’s hands are following the smooth curve of Qiu Tong’s sides up to her waist and across her ribs and Sun Jing wants to live in this moment forever until her fingers hit bra band and Qi Fang’s words are echoing through her head.
“like… how’s that even work?”
Sun Jing falters, suddenly cold with uncertainty.
Because Qiu Tong is Sun Jing’s everything, the only person in the world for her. Her skin is smooth and soft, and her hair is silky bright, and her smile… oh, her smile. Sun Jing thinks that she could die with no regrets if the last thing she saw was Qiu Tong’s smile.
Sun Jing definitely loves Qiu Tong, loves her more than anything, but she’s honestly not sure how to make love to her, and that’s something that Sun Jing doesn’t know how to fix. It’s paralyzing.
“I- Are you okay?” Qiu Tong bites her lip and leans back. “Did I do something wrong?”
“I’m more than okay!” Sun Jing hurries to peck a kiss to Qiu Tong’s nose. “Everything you do is perfect.”
Qiu Tong hides her face in Sun Jing’s shoulder again. “Stop that! You always say things that make me blush!”
“It’s not my fault you’re so cute!” Sun Jing huffs, caught between the urge to kiss Qiu Tong more and to run away as fast as she can. She settles for an in between and pets her girlfriend’s hair. “I always want to scream off the balcony about how good you are, you know?”
“No!” Qiu Tong scrubs at her face and smacks her own cheeks lightly. “But you can’t distract me! What’s wrong? Why did you stop?”
Looking away is easier than facing Qiu Tong’s big eyes. “It’s stupid.”
“Hey.” Slim fingers caress Sun Jing’s face, tipping her chin up. Qiu Tong looks her straight in the eye as she says, “If it’s upsetting you, it’s not stupid.”
All of Sun Jing’s resolve dissolves. “It’s just. Qi Fang.”
“Oh no! Is he ok?” Because of course Qiu Tong’s first instinct is to assume that Qi Fang is not, in fact, a moron.
“No, it’s…” Sun Jing wrings her hands and explains all about Qi Fang and his nosey questions.
"...And high school sex ed is all about tab a into slot b, and no one says anything about when there's no tabs involved? And, um, yeah."
“So.”
“That’s.”
“Hmm.”
They’ve changed positions, Qiu Tong sitting at Sun Jing’s side instead of in her lap. They’re still touching knee to hip, but it gives Qiu Tong just a little more space to get her head together. She takes a deep breath.
“I think… it’ll work however we want it to work.”
“Huh?”
“I like you! And I feel good when you touch me! And s-sex is just touching each other, right? So…” Qiu Tong’s courage starts to fade, and so does her volume. “I just think whatever we do is ok, as long as we both are happy. And I'm always happy around you, so, um!”
She clutches her hands in her skirt, going redder and redder until Sun Jing reaches out to tip her chin up.
“... I like you too. So, so much.” Sun Jing smiles, trying to be reassuring. “You also make me happy just by existing, so I don’t wanna screw up and make you hate me! That's kind of my worst nightmare?”
“I couldn’t hate you. And if anything felt bad, I’d tell you.” Qiu Tong bites her lip again. “So… you should go back to where we were before we stopped.”
“I. Can do that.” Sun Jing rests a hand on Qiu Tong’s waist and when she leans in, Qiu Tong meets her halfway. They’re both smiling into the kiss.
They don’t get that much farther that night, not really. Their shirts come off, but it’s not like they go all the way or anything, especially since neither is sure what “all the way” means.
Sun Jing isn’t disappointed. It’s enough to know that they could have, if they wanted to, and that when they get there, eventually, one day, it's going to be good, because she and Qiu Tong won't let it be anything less.
She stuffs her hands into her pockets and grins as she walks home the next morning. The future is stretching before them and Sun Jing's heart is pounding, but it's a beat of anticipation and joy. They're going to be ok.