Work Text:
Robert
He can’t take anymore, the weight of everything he’s lost weighing him down so much it feels like he’s suffocating. Robert wasn’t exaggerating that day just a couple months ago in the hospital when he told Aaron he’d be crying on the floor or throwing himself out the window. So he chooses the third option, he runs. It’s what he’s good at. Maybe he hasn’t changed as much as he thought. Or perhaps he has. He wants Aaron to be happy and he is.
Robert gulps, thinking about how much lighter Aaron’s been with Alex. He can’t stay in the village and mess that up for Aaron. But Robert also knows himself. He knows he has a self-destruct button that he can’t seem to not hit eventually, especially when it comes to Aaron, always Aaron.
Robert continues to pack the rest of his stuff as quickly as he can. If he doesn’t do it quickly, he knows he will lose his nerve. He leaves a letter for Vic on the table, knowing she will be livid with him, but promising to get in touch soon. Robert often wonders when Vic’s patience and understanding with him will run out. He knows he doesn’t deserve her.
Robert eyes the last three things he places in his bag, the air in the room becoming stifling, like it’s being sucked out. His and Aaron’s wedding bands and Seb’s favorite toy giraffe. The last two things he has left of the people he loves most, that he has lost, that have truly and utterly broke him. He knows Seb will miss his stuff toy, as he still visits often, what with Ross and Vic being close, but he cares little considering this is all he’s ever going to have of him in the short time he thought he was his father. Robert bitterly wipes his eyes as he shuts his bag, not looking back as he slams the door shut behind him.
Aaron
“Two more pints please, mum.” Aaron asks, rubbing his eyes in exhaustion from another long day working at the garage. Cain had been so busy with Moira lately, it's been up to Aaron to pick up the slack, and with working so much he had hardly seen Alex, both their schedules not allowing much time for it. Feeling bad though, Aaron agreed to meet him for a drink at the pub.
“Here, Love,” Chas says, smiling brightly as she sets his drinks in front of him. “It’s good to see you making time for your boyfriend, can’t all be about work.”
Aaron rolls his eyes, growing used to his mum’s obsessive need to push his relationship with Alex.
Aaron is about to grab his drinks when he notices Vic coming into the pub, carrying Seb. Aaron’s heart clinches, in both relief and guilt. He can’t help feeling relief in the fact Seb turned out to not be Robert’s, but also feel the guilt that accompanies that relief because it feels confusing and harsh, like he’s not sure how to deal with it. He hates seeing Robert in pain; he knows how much he loves that little boy, and it hurts Aaron to see him hurt, but why did it make him relieved to know Seb didn’t tie him to that woman, that night for all eternity... even though they were over?
Aaron nods, smiling kindly, “Alright?” He asks.
Vic smiles switching Seb to her other arm, who is sleeping soundly. “Yeah,” she says, “Chas, water please.” She checks her phone quickly before adding, “just waiting for Ross. He’s here to pick up Seb, and we were going to have dinner, too.”
Aaron smirks at her because he knows, knows there is something going on between the two. He can’t imagine what she sees in a knobhead like Ross, but he can’t say too much given his track record and if it makes her happy, who is he to judge.
Vic blushes. “Shut up,” she says. “You heard from Robert lately?” She asks, changing the subject.
Aaron frowns because, no he hasn’t. It had been a couple of days. They were supposed to be best friends, but things were becoming blurry again. Aaron had been there for Robert when the Whites had died, when Robert felt like it was his fault and he assured him it wasn’t, when he found out Seb was not his and he was there to comfort him, and the tension it caused his relationship with Alex, Aaron had been there, but when the lines started to blur again, when Aaron could see himself slotting into Robert’s life to the point he didn’t know where he started or ended, he knew he needed to distance himself again.
Aaron shakes his head. “No, not for a few days... why?” He asks.
Vic shrugs. “He just seems off.” She says sadly. “Like he hasn’t been himself. I know it’s been tough the last few weeks now that he knows Seb isn’t his. But I thought bringing Seb around would help, but it doesn’t seem to be.”
Aaron nods, like he expected as much, and his guilt and sadness eating away at him. He knows the lines always blur when he comes to Robert, but they were friends and he needed him.
Vic’s eyes light up a little. “You’ll talk to him?” She questions, hopefully.
Aaron nods. “Course, what are friends for.”
“Right...soon?” She pushes.
Aaron just stars at her in concern.
Sighing Vic notices Ross entering the pub. “I just mean he could really use a friend right now.” Vic looks down at her water. “It’s like that time right before Dad made him leave.” Vic says so softly, so sadly, that Aaron’s sure she might start crying.
And Aaron’s heart drops; he wants to asks her more, what exactly she means, but Ross has made his way over, and he can feel Alex drilling holes into the back of his head for taking so long to get their drinks, but he can’t stop the feeling in his gut, the one that has him feeling nauseous all of sudden and not in the nervous, excitement kind of way, but in the fearing that something’s wrong kind of way.
When Aaron makes his way back to Alex, he lasts all of five minutes before he’s making an excuse about how he’s not feeling well, and he’ll make it up to him some other night.
Aaron stops at Vic’s first, making his way into the flat without evening knocking. Yeah... he probably shouldn’t have just walked in, but that queasy feeling in his stomach wouldn’t go away, not till he's seen him.
As Aaron made his way into the flat, he notices all the lights are off, “Robert?” He calls out, knowing he wasn’t home, but calling for him anyway.
He makes his way into Vic’s spare bedroom, everything looked as it should, a too small bed for someone as big as Robert, and decorations that didn’t fit his style in the least. There was nothing in the room that indicated Robert had even been here, been here for months. As he made his way over to the wardrobe he noticed a picture frame on the floor. Aaron picked it up. There was no picture in it, just an empty frame. Aaron’s stomach continued to grow more and more uneasy. He opened the wardrobe, expecting to find Robert’s clothes, but not a single piece of clothing remained, just a button at the bottom of the wardrobe where it had popped off a shirt, as if someone was in a hurry, hastily plucking things from their hangers.
Aaron’s heart began to beat so fast, he was sure it would beat out of his chest. “No, no, no,” he said, as he backed out of the room, running down the hall. Just as he passed the kitchen he noticed a letter, it was addressed to Vic, in Robert’s unmistakable handwriting. Aaron didn’t need to read that letter to know what that was... he was running. Robert was leaving, and Aaron might be too late, he might never know where Robert was for years, like Vic said when their dad sent him away, it took him almost a decade to come home. “Fuck!” Aaron shouted as he made his way to his car.
So he drove, not sure where he was going, where to look, but desperate to find him, desperate to tell him he was right, it was always Robert and him, and no matter how far he ran, he’d never be able to outrun them.
Robert
He knew he needed to get the hell out of the village, stop delaying the inevitable, but Robert couldn’t leave without making one last stop. Robert seemed to enjoy torturing himself, as if his life wasn’t already painful enough, pouring salt in an open wound seemed to be his favorite thing to do, but when it came to Aaron, he’d do just about anything to feel close to him, just one last time, even if that meant causing himself an enormous amount of pain.
The garage held so many memories. They first had sex here. Hell, it’s where Robert really felt that turning in his gut, like he couldn’t get enough of Aaron Dingle. It's where they got married. It’s where he promised to love him forever, even though they may not be together anymore, even though Robert may not have kept every promise, he did keep that one; he would love Aaron forever. So he had to see it one last time before he left. With a final nod, he started his engine and backed away, determined not to look back, to put this place and the people in it behind him, as much as he could. He had to move on, start over, clean slate, and while that may seem an impossible feet, it was the only way Robert could think of getting on with his life, the alternative, living in this place, being reminded of all he’d lost everyday, it was just too much.
Robert thudded hard into something as he backed up. Shocked, when moments ago he could have sworn it was clear. “Wha—“
“So you’re just going to leave! Just like that! You fucking coward!” Aaron’s screaming, both hands slamming onto the hood of his car. Water splashes up and gets his coat wet, as it’s gone from a sprinkling to more of a rain now.
Stunned at first, Robert quickly recovers, taking a deep breath. Robert gets out of the car, not even bothering to shut it off, just having enough sense to put it in park, he’s so shook up. “What the hell, Aaron!” He yells back. Robert notices Aaron is breathing rapidly, chest rising and falling quickly as he glares at Robert like he wants to murder him. “I could have killed ya!”
Aaron ignores him, as if backing into his car and putting a massive size dent in the passenger side is no big deal, and Robert supposes for a mechanic maybe it’s not.
“So what... the going gets tough so Robert Sugden does a runner?” Aaron laughs erratically, “no wait, Robert Sugden does a runner again!”
Robert sighs, it’s raining harder now and he’s exhausted. “What’s left for me here?” He asks.
Aaron shakes his head, frustrated, Robert can see his eyes reddening even through the rain, but Robert doesn’t want to care. He never wants to make Aaron sad, but he came to him when he was trying to stay away, and leave, and he doesn’t get to be angry right now. “What do you want from me, Aaron?” He asks, sadly.
Aaron doesn’t reply, just turns his back, frustrating Robert more. “God damnit, Aaron! What do you want? Tell me what you want from me and I’ll do it!” He screams!
Aaron turns back around, striding up to Robert, getting up close to his face, screaming back, “Me!” And he grabs him by his rain soaked hair, kissing him like he’s his lifeline. Robert doesn’t take long to grab hold of Aaron’s face, cupping it with his hands, kissing back with as much passion and need as he can muster.
Aaron moans, causing Robert’s whole body to come alive, like he can breathe again for the first time in months, and he’s kissing Aaron harder. The kiss is messy. Too much teeth and tongue and the rain makes it too slippery for purchase, but it’s been so long, neither of them care and can get enough. When they both have to stop for air, they don’t let go of each other, choosing to rest their foreheads together as they breathe in one another’s air.
“Do you regret it?” Robert asks.
Aaron shakes his head no and Robert sighs in relief.
“Are you still going to leave?” Aaron asks.
Robert shakes his head no.
And they’re kissing again, in the rain like some cheesy romantic comedy because real life can wait a few more minutes.
Aaron
It wasn’t as bad as he expected it to be. Of course Alex wasn’t happy, and his mum was probably more mad than anyone, but he’s pretty sure Alex knew it was coming, and suspected it was just a matter of time. As far as his mum goes, his only reply when she asked way was...”he wasn’t Robert.”
They were still taking things slow, and Robert was still technically living at Vic’s, but he spent more days at the Mill than he did at hers. Even Liv was starting to come around, at least she wasn’t openly hostile towards Robert anymore, choosing to silently glare instead, which was an improvement. Robert said he’d take whatever he could get, and he just hoped one day he’d win her over again. Aaron had no doubt he would. And Gerry... Gerry and Robert were something else. Aaron didn’t even really have words to describe it, so he wasn’t even going to try. Were things perfect, no. There were still times Robert would come over just because he couldn’t be at the house with Vic and Seb because it hurt too much or there were times when Aaron would be reminded of Robert’s betrayal and no matter how much he reminded himself it was in the past and he’d forgiven Robert it still crept up on him, and made him lose his breath, and he still needed a moment, and perhaps he always would. And there were those moments when Robert needed Aaron because he tried to take on too much and wouldn’t asks for help.
They were still learning, learning how to be better, better together, but they were getting there because it was always going to be Aaron and Robert.
The end.
xx S