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Steve knows he has to take Sam home after he ends his twerking performance by falling off the damn bar. Thankfully Steve catches him before he can take the hard fall onto the floor, but still, the man's a mess.
Sam's eyes work hard to focus on him, and when he does he giggles and pushes the tip of Steve's nose with his finger. "Boop! Haha, look at you all serious. Whhyyy so serious? Did you get that reference, grand pappy?"
"Yes, I did. We watched that movie weeks ago. C'mon, Sam, let's get you home." Steve says, making sure his grip on the back of Sam's legs and his back is secure.
Sam starts to brag as they make their way out of the bar, "Oh look who's carrying me, just Captain America. Betchu wish Captain America carried you home. And guess what, he's gonna tuck me in too."
Steve blushes hard, "Sam please."
Sam just throws his head back and cackles, as soon as they step outside however, his voice dies in his throat. "Fuck, it's cold!" Sam shouts. He immediately starts to shiver against Steve's chest, and Steve moves him in his arms so their chests are together and Sam can wrap his legs around his waist.
"OoooOooh, are we g-gonna f-fuck?" Sam asks, his teeth chattering.
Steve rolls his eyes as he stretches his windbreaker over Sam and hopes his extremely high body temperature can keep him warm enough until they make it back to the hotel. "No, Sam, we're not gonna fuck."
"Is that because it's too cold and your dick would be smaller? Cause you have to know, baby, I love you and I don't care."
Steve chokes, "No. No, Sam that is not why, but I'm glad you still love me even when my dick shrinks."
Sam nods seriously and kisses his cheek, "So are we gonna have hotel sex, gotta love hotel sex."
"Sam, you are too drunk for me to do hardly anything. I'll be lucky if I can get you to undress and brush your damn teeth before you pass the fuck out." Steve replies, honestly not believing the man in his arms.
"Okay, stop lying, I'm not that drunk. I've been having a perfect conversation with you this whole time." Sam whines into his shoulder.
"You've been slurring this whole conversation, and I doubt my ability to even understand you without super enhanced hearing." Steve counters, yelping a moment later when Sam shoves his freezing hands under his shirt in retaliation.
"AH! Shit, get your hands out of there, or I am dropping you." He grits out, Sam tsking to himself as he obeys. The cold still aches through Steve's sides however, and he sighs in relief when their hotel comes into view.
"Okay, hang tight. I'm gonna run the last stretch of this." Steve warns, only sprinting when he feels both Sam's arms and legs tighten around him. They make it there in under a minute and both give ragged groans of relief when they step into the warm hotel lobby.
The receptionist outright laughs at them, but not in a mean way. Steve can't say he blames her, he's sure the two of them make quite a picture. He nods at her as they pass by and carries Sam into the elevator.
Which is where he realizes Sam's head drooping. He jostles him with his shoulder, "No, c'mon, Sam, don't fall asleep yet. At least make it to the hotel room."
Sam mumbles something even Steve can't decipher, and then he's snoring into his chest. "Goddamit." Steve sighs.