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"You're in love with her."
Yugi's head snapped up from the cards he had been poring over. His eyes widened at the translucent form of the Pharaoh perched on the edge of his desk and his mouth opened and closed in shock for a moment.
"I- what?"
"Anzu. You're in love with her."
He said it plainly, eyebrows knitting together as though he didn't understand why Yugi had taken to imitating a fish.
Yugi blinked a few times, then a comically wide smile overtook his face. He fidgeted with his hands, knotting them together, tangling his fingers. When he chuckled, it was forced.
"What would make you say that, mou hitori no boku?"
A fierce blush was starting to overtake his cheeks, painting them a pretty pink.
Yami frowned. He didn't understand why Yugi was being difficult. Wasn't his aibou displaying his feelings for the girl in an attempt to let her know how he felt?
"It's just... The way you look at her is rather telling. You stare, aibou."
Now Yugi's blush was darkening, and his chuckles became a little hysterical.
"I don't stare at Anzu! I'm just- I- That's so silly, mou hitori no boku."
He cut himself off with more giggles, waving his hands as though to brush off the topic. He set about focusing wholly on his cards.
Yami was confused. He wanted to understand.
"No, aibou, you look at her a lot. A lot more than all of your other friends."
Yugi's forehead dropped to his desk with a thunk.
"Aibou? Why are you embarrassed? Anzu is a very pretty girl. It wouldn't be strange for you to have feelings for her." The Pharaoh tried to make his voice soothing, to nudge his partner into talking to him.
"I don't have feelings for her!" The answer came quickly, Yugi's burning cheeks only redder as he picked his head up. "I just... She's very... Developed," he admitted quietly. His head dropped to his hands in shame.
The Pharaoh blinked in confusion. Then it clicked.
"Ahhh. So you're just attracted to her body." He was excited to understand this about his aibou. He thought he'd felt spikes of excitement through their mind link when Yugi saw Anzu. It made sense now.
Yugi groaned from behind his hands.
"I used to have a crush on her. She never felt the same way." he murmured. "Plus, it doesn't matter anymore, she likes you. Now that she's seen you... Everything I'm not... She could never like me." He paused for a moment, seeming to shrink into himself, before saying in a small voice, "No one has ever liked me like that..."
A fierce protectiveness blossomed in the Pharaoh's chest at Yugi's words.
"That's their loss." He watched Yugi jerk his head back and forth to the side as a "No". He dropped his hands from his face. After a moment, he looked up. His eyes looked overly bright.
The Pharaoh began to panic. He hadn't meant to upset his aibou! He'd simply hoped that Yugi would share his feelings, and maybe he could help his the smaller boy to navigate them. Despite the waves of affection and admiration he felt toward his host, he knew, without a doubt, that he would put Yugi's happiness above his own.
He opened his mouth to respond, to tell Yugi that it was truly their loss. But he could feel a loneliness bleeding through their mind link that stopped him cold.
It occurred to him abruptly. This boy, this small boy with fierce kindness for everybody and a soul that shone brighter than anything he'd ever seen, had wished for friends with his solving of the puzzle. He'd had the opportunity to wish for anything, anything in the world, but he'd wished for true friends. He was lonely. Breathtakingly lonely. The idea that no one had ever felt that sort of way about him truly cut him deeply.
Since his solving of the puzzle, the Pharaoh hadn't felt this from his partner. He'd really had no reason to until this moment. He'd gotten his wish. He had Jou, Honda, Anzu, Ryou, Ootogi, Mai, and to a certain extent, even the Kaiba brothers. And then there was the Pharaoh himself. He was fiercely devoted to his host, and their shared bond was something indescribable. None of this, however, filled the gap of someone feeling that sort of tender emotion for him.
Yami felt the lump in Yugi's throat as though it were his own. He wanted nothing more, in that moment, than to be able to hold him. The feeling nearly drowned him.
"Aibou..." He made his voice as soft as possible, reached out through their link with all the comfort he could possibly conjure in that moment.
Yugi shook his head, "I'm sorry, I just... It's hard to think that no one could ever..." His voice nearly disappeared with a sudden drop in volume, "love me. Or..." His eyes squeezed closed, head shaking in an attempt to cut off tears.
The rest of his sentence filtered through their link. And Yami was, for a moment, privy to everything that Yugi was afraid would never be his.
The feeling of tenderness. Of being warm and relaxed. Being held in someone's arms and whispered sweet words to. Of being wanted. Of having someone touch him just to touch him. Because they wanted him and everything he was. The need ripped into his heart as if it were his own. Made him feel like he was choking.
The words almost slipped out of his mouth: 'I want to give that to you'. But he bit his lips so hard they would have bled if he actually had any blood running under his skin. He was more frustrated with their current situation than ever. He'd always been disappointed that he couldn't even put his hand on Yugi's shoulder in comfort, or high five him when they'd had a victory. But now, here he was, wanting to give Yugi everything that he was wanting, able to ease that bitter loneliness, and powerless to do anything about it.
The realization that he did, indeed, want to love him that much bit into him with shock, but he'd need to deal with that later. He'd been denying it, keeping it under the surface, buried beneath sentiments like 'It's better this way.' or, 'I'd only burden him.' Now, he needed to try to undo the mess he'd made.
"Aibou. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to... I just wanted to try to help you with what I thought you were feeling for Anzu." His voice came out more hoarse than he'd expected, and he was ashamed for it. He needed to be strong right now, and make things okay. He couldn't do that if he was busy with feeling sorry for himself.
Yugi shook his head again, roughly wiped the back of his arm across his eyes. He popped his head up to weakly smile at the Pharaoh's spirit. "It's not your fault. I'm being a big baby. What would Jou say if he saw me like this, huh?" He pushed out a chuckle.
"Aibou, you don't need to be ashamed of loneliness. I... Being contained in the puzzle for so many years made me very well acquainted with loneliness. I had truly believed that I would never interact with another soul again." A small, sad smile crept onto his lips.
Yugi's eyed widened at him. "You were... conscious for all those years?"
"Most of them... I believe that at the... lowest points my soul tried to protect me. Though no human being is meant to spend that much time alone. I forgot who I was. I forgot what it was like to know anything but the darkness." He paused at Yugi's hum of sadness.
"But you, you were the one to help me remember who I was, aibou. Even if you feel as though no one could ever feel... that way about you, know that you are more important to me than any other human being has been." he insisted, voice quiet and serious.
"I'm sorry, mou hitori no boku, I don't mean to seem ungrateful for what we have, I just-"
The Pharaoh cut him off fiercely, leaning closer to his partner "That's not what I mean." His voice lowered, softened, "I mean that... No matter what else is happening, you have me."
When Yugi smiled this time, it was real. The tension dropped from his shoulders, and he sighed. "Thanks, mou hitori no boku. I'm... really glad to have you. I don't know what I would do without you."
The Pharaoh smiled at Yugi in return. "And I, you."
He hoped they wouldn't have to find out what being without the other was like.
He would hope for that right up until the day they were to be separated.